Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope

November 19, 1965

I don't usually compliment this comic strip because it's usually so meh, but I do want to give credit where credit is due. I love the phrasing of this strip. "Me? Paint myself into a corner?", the scoffing noise, the seemingly sinister implications of "escape hatch" which is just the door leading out of the room. The dastardly set-up (for some reason) makes the joke of the strip even better. Take it down a few notches, Brutus. You remembered not to paint yourself into a corner. Congrats, you did the bare minimum.

I'm just imaging Brutus, who shouldn't want to talk to Mother Gargle in the first place, walking by and going "Hey, Mother Gargle. Not dead yet?" and getting more frustrated and louder each time he repeats it because she can't hear him.

Wilberforce, put your own damn clothes away. And scrub out your own skidmarks.

This is a weird question to ask in your own house. You hear someone talking then it is obviously one of the three people who live in your house. She should also be able to recognize her own husband's voice. Unless Brutus uses different voices when he talks to himself. If so, that's some very impressive insanity.

Ever since I left Twitter, I've been on all the other social networking sites, but none of them have come close to what I had on Twitter. I want to be able to step away but I have a website to think about. I guess I could just stop updating my website...

Hey, whatever gets you to show up.

I bet they didn't even catch a tire or a boot. That's how loser-y these two are. They are also so loser-y that maybe they caught malaria, West Nile, or Zika from those mosquitoes.

One Non-Blonde

September 22, 1965

Classic ketchup bit. One of the things I love about these older strips is how angry everybody gets. They're like George Costanza when he's told he should go to anger management. "Having some trouble with the ketchup?" "Yes, probably because the WHOLE UNIVERSE IS AGAINST ME!!!"

I'm assuming Ms. Preen edited her SnapChat avatar and then felt like she needed to look exactly like that. Do typical readers of The Born Loser know that avatar is different from profile picture? I feel this could lead to confusion. Older audiences should really stick to Blondie, Hi & Lois, Beetle Bailey, or strips geared toward them like Pluggers or a soap opera strip.

That's What She Said

As you may have seen, Post News, the social media site specifically created to cater to longreads and journalists is shutting down. As with every other social media site that emerged when Elon Musk took over Twitter and then renamed it to a porn site, I joined and had hoped it could become a new home for these Born Loser posts and maybe more. I was on Post for about six months before abandoning it mainly because I wasn't getting any traction or followers. It was a grand idea and I wish more journalists and writers would've tried it out. It could've been a good place to get your news that's not controlled by algorithms.

In other social media news, about a month ago, I deleted my Hive Social account because it doesn't seem to be getting updated anymore, the founder has locked their account, and it seemed as if I was the only one on my timeline still updating their account. You can check out all my socials on the About page.

September 15, 1965

How much buried treasure is there in this country? You hear stories, sure, but how much buried treasure actually exists in the United States? Is it enough for this guy to buy a new hat? I hope so and I hope he finds the treasure.

Oh! Now Wilberforce is coming for his own father! Again, get wrecked, old dork! Wait. Brutus is roughly my age. Oh, no!!

Here's the real strip. Why can't Brutus just have a damn day off? Let him relax, jeez.

Have You Tried Turning It Off and On Again?

I have decided to fully leave Twitter. I stopped posting on it back in November but kept checking every couple of days or so. Every time I thought about getting back on, waiting on some sort of stability, it would never happen. Something would always happen that kept me away whether it was bigotry and racism, right-wing brigading, or just a stupid tweet from the current owner.

I finally came to realize that going back was never going to happen and I couldn't keep sticking around and giving Twitter and Elon Musk that attention. Neither of them deserve it at this point. The only thing I will miss is that most of the views to this website came from Twitter. I am on other social media which you can find in my Linktree or the About page. Over winter break, I plan on finalizing my decision and deleting my Twitter account. As much as I don't want to, why leave something like this up to rack up bot Likes, retweets, and messages. Seriously, since Musk's takeover I've gotten 15 new followers--all spam or sex bots. Anyway, I don't know what's going to happen. Since getting off Twitter, I've gotten a lot more writing done so maybe you will just have to read what I write in books and short story collections.

September 5, 1973

I don't see how how it's any fun for Gladys sitting in the boat and watching Brutus smoke and fish.

I guess she just comes along because she wants to hurl insults at her husband. Or she doesn't want to stay home and take care of Wilberforce.

As someone who used to work tech support for a cable company, I understand the frustration on both sides. Believe me, I wish I could teleport into your house and just do everything but I can't. If you can't do it then we'll send out a tech. They'll be there whenever the hell they'd like and may or may not charge you.

I'd Be Happier, I Know That

Since when are texts considered social media? Texts are an intricle way of communication because I refuse to answer my phone anymore. I got rid of my Facebook at the end of 2018 and my Twitter, like a lot of Twitters, is just a waste of time. You should follow me.

Batting Practice

I. Some Changes

I have made a few changes on social media and on the site. I have decided to put my Instagram on hiatus until further notice. I plan on using Twitter to do more history posts and, of course, the Tauy Creek Facebook Page as well. On the site, both The Point of Beginning and Time Man have come to an end and will be replaced with Tank N Tummy, which is moving over from my now-defunct Patreon, and West Union Road, a 5-issue miniseries. Hopefully you'll enjoy them and you can always let me know what you think in the comments, the contact form, or on social media.

II. The Miller Family and Prairie City

Since about 2000, I have been doing research on a family that lived in the ghost town of Prairie City. Through my own fault and ignorance, my research into them had been sporadic until very recently. I've been so lucky lately to find just the right information and approach the right people to get additional information to help me piece together information. My hope is to write not only an article on the family and their contributions to local and state history but also a book that uses their story alternating with a story taking place in modern day Kansas. Despite the family being just a simple family, their contributions to the area, and to a couple of other states, we very important. The issue I have is that I am racing the clock against students at Washburn University.

Washburn is offering a class next fall that goes into the Millers and Prairie City and their connection to Kansas history and life on the prairie. While I am excited that this class is being conducted (I honestly wish I could be a part of it), I feel like I need to do as much I can over the summer to finish my research and get the article written and book outlined. What needs to be done is a trip to the Baker University archives to get information from their records and repeated trips to the Kansas State Archives to search through almost 100 years of newspapers looking for information. But I also have other things that I am researching but the priority right now, are the Millers. The research and work needed to get this done leads us to our third bit of housekeeping.

III. Support Tauy Creek

If you would like to support what I write or my research or just like what I do, feel free drop some money in my PayPal or buy me a coffee on Ko-Fi.

You know, Brutus has given his son the 'born loser' gene--yes, being a loser is apparently genetic, maybe someday we'll see an ad on TV about a pill or injection that can keep it at bay--so it should be kind of uplifting that everybody else is just as terrible as Wilberforce.

Unless, of course, that being a born loser isn't just something in your DNA but also something that radiates. Like radium.

Facebore

I rarely post things on Facebook. When I would post something, no matter what it was, friends would get into arguments with me. I am no longer friends with those people but I just don't want to deal with the hassle. So I could be considered the perfect Facebook friend. I don't post anything and I don't comment anything but I could see how, if you didn't like that, you might unfriend me.

What I'm Funding Is Literally In the Website Name

Sorry, guy, but Brutus is a little strapped for cash this month due to some sort of furnace issue so he doesn't have the money to crowdfund...you. I know that people do crowdfund themselves but are people this blatant about it?

I mean, I want you to help support my writing and research either through Patreon or Ko-Fi or by some other means but I save those requests for here or the occasional social media post.

The Born Loser 14

I'd like to think that there is a Twitter account out there, still with an egg (or a shadow avatar now, I guess), with a joined date of February 2009, and only Ohio as the location. And on that account is one tweet dated 2/16/09 and reads something like "Hi, Twitterverse" or "Let's try this Twitter out". And that account belongs to Chip Sansom. I'd like to think that.

Tauy Creek Digest #26: Status Update

Every morning was a routine for Owen. He would get up and go downstairs, get some coffee made, and sit down to check his social media on his phone. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr, he'd check them all. His wife, Emma, usually came down shortly after him and today was no different. "Morning, honey. Do you remember that funeral we went to last February?"

"You mean the one for your Mom?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's the one."

"Of course I do, why?"

"This," Owen held his phone out for Emma. Pulled up on the screen was a Facebook status reading: "There is no better donut in town better than Joe's. MMmmmm."

"Oh, that is weird," Emma said. "Maybe it's a scheduled post."

"Pfft. Mom barely knew how to use Facebook let alone a site that could schedule something. Also, why would she schedule something almost two years ago? And, why an update about eating? How would she know she'd be eating Joe's doughnuts two years into the future?"

"I don't know. Comment or Like it and see what happens. Maybe it's a Facebook glitch. Maybe Facebook reposted a status she had already posted."

"That's a very disturbing glitch then," Owen looked back at his phone. "Should I report it?"

"You do what you want, honey."

"She's dead, right? We buried her."

"Do you want to go to the cemetery and make sure she didn't dig her way out and shuffle to the library to use their computers?"

"She also stopped to get doughnuts. Don't forget that. Also, she doesn't need to get out of the grave. Does cell signal go six feet underground?"

"And through a thick wooden casket and whatever they use as a casket vault?"

"Is that a 'no?'"

"Maybe her account was hacked. I say report it. Send her a chat message and see if someone responds."

"What if someone does respond and it's really her?"

"I don't think it will actually be her," Emma said. "If someone starts talking to you, ask them a question only she would know."

Owen stared at his phone and his Mom's status update. "Corey never updated his status after he died."

"What?"

"My Facebook friend who died five years ago. He's never updated his status."

"I guess you just want to sit there and act surprised about this," Emma sighed. "I've already given you ideas of what to do. Do them or don't. I don't care."

"Aah! Someone just Liked the status!" Owen exclaimed.

"Do they not realize she's dead?"

"Either that or they didn't notice whose profile it was," Owen locked his phone and stood up. "I'm going out. I need to check out a couple things before I go ahead and report this."

Owen left the house and started driving. After driving across town, he pulled into the parking lot of an apartment complex. He went upstairs to what used to be his Mom's apartment and knocked on the door. The new occupant answered and looked questioningly at Owen. "Yes?"

"Hi, my name is Owen and my Mom used to live here. She died a couple years ago and I wanted to ask you if you've seen her around lately. Has your computer mysteriously turned on or have you felt any cold spots in your apartment?"

The person closed the door on Owen.

"Thank you for your time."

After the apartment, Owen drove to the cemetery and parked near the row his mother was in. Her name, birth and death dates were carved into the stone. Grass grew evenly over the grave and hadn't been disturbed since it was filled. He got out his phone and went back to the post. There was now five Likes under the update.

Owen returned home and tossed his phone onto the counter. "I don't know," he said, frustrated. "I guess I'll report it. Their Help section says to contact them so we'll see what they say."

"I can't imagine what you must be feeling with all of this," Emma said. "You seem to be handling this well."

"It's just some weird hack or something. Instead of posting spammy malware-laden articles about celebrity nip slips, they post legitimate sounding status update to confuse people. It makes perfect sense. There. Email sent. Facebook will get back to me as soon as possible," Owen went back to the status update and smiled. "Heh, look at this."

Underneath the update was a comment that read 'Aren't you dead?' Both Owen and Emma chuckled at it. Owen then Liked the comment.

1221: Like This

...

I going to ignore the obvious question this strip should be subjected to (Who are they talking to?) and point you all to the Tauy Creek Facebook Page. It's pretty bare right now but I'm hoping to use it to not only post what goes on here but to also share and post similarly related stuff that happens online. Please Like it or I'm going to send Gladys out to your house and have her do what she's doing to Brutus in the last panel.

1165: Wasn't She Pregnant Last Month?

This seems like something that would be better served by saying it was on her Facebook page. I can see someone posting "I'm going to have a baby!! But don't tell anyone, it's a secret!" with that stupid clenched teeth emoji on Facebook but Twitter doesn't seem to be used like that. Maybe I just have a better timeline on Twitter than I do on Facebook.

Also, Mary Jo Kronk sounds like one of those women who always assume they are pregnant. I wouldn't go finding her baby registry quite yet Gladys until you see proof that she is with child. While we wait for proof that Mary Jo is pregnant, you can follow me on Twitter.

Yeah, Veeblefester Looks Very Busy There

I'm on various forms of social media. Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Tumblr and even Instagram, although I don't use it. The newest social media platform that seems to making the rounds, at least in teenage circles, is SnapChat. I work at a school where every student just received iPads and SnapChat is open a lot--almost as much as Facebook and Twitter. I've seen the way these kids use SnapChat and I am not a fan. To be honest, I don't get it. I do get why they are using it but as I told one student who said the pictures you post are deleted after 10 seconds, "if you believe what you post on the Internet disappears then I've got some ocean-front property in Topeka to sell you."

One of my Facebook friends posted this article about why you should delete your SnapChat account. It's a good article and convinced me that SnapChat was, is, and always has been a despicable social media platform. I won't post the whole thing here but there are the three reasons he gives.

1. SnapChat is built on a lie.
They say your picture, post, information, whatever gets deleted but there's no way for that to happen. It's the Internet, everything is saved and recorded.

2. SnapChat was created to be a safe way to sext.
Apparently that's something that has been recorded repeatedly especially in legal documents and company emails where the creators admit it should be used solely for sexting and repeatedly call women "betches." Class.

3. It's all innocent.
Yeah. All social media is innocent until it no longer is and the more people that use it, the quicker it stops being innocent.

My main argument against SnapChat is very simple and based on what I've seen my students use it for. Very little of SnapChat is actually used for funny or interesting things. Most posts are just typically this:

Or this:

Also, lots of boobs and penises. Word of caution: don't do an Internet search for "SnapChat pictures."

As I've noticed and explained before, it seems to me that Brutus is already pretty high up the food chain at Veeblefester Corps. meaning that for Brutus to be promoted, Veeblefester would just have to give Brutus his job which makes it understandable why Veeblefester won't promote him.

5 Things That Get Me to Not Follow You On Twitter

I'm on Twitter a lot. Somedays I don't tweet very often but I am always on there or have quick access to it. I currently have 145 followers and am following 244 people. I don't know how many of those followers are real people, I believe a majority of them are because I do look at them when they start following me so I can see if they are someone I would like to follow or if they are spam or even pornbots. But that isn't all I look at and there are several other factors I use to see if I should follow you or not.

1. You don't tweet about anything I care about. I don't know if you are following me because you like what I have to say or if you are just trying to acquire followers thus gain followees but I don't do that. Your tweets have to be entertaining or at least something I wouldn't mind reading. I don't follow everyone who follows me because you have to be someone I want to follow.

2. You have no original tweets. If all you do is retweet people (unless you are one of the many novelty accounts on Twitter) I probably won't follow you. I probably also won't follow you if all of your tweets are replies to tweets other people have sent you because I shouldn't have to keep up with day-long Twitter conversations.

3. You have a bad follower-to-followee ratio. You can be Neil Gaiman and have nearly two million followers and only follow 700 people. You can be Ellen DeGeneres and have 12 million followers and only follow 50,000 people. You can't be some jerkass local citizen and have 3,000 followers but only follow 60 people. You are not a celebrity and I will not participate in the stroking of your ego.

4. You tell me to follow you back. Again, I am not on Twitter to gain massive amounts of followers. I'm there to promote myself and my website while pointing out and making fun of life's little foibles.

5. You haven't filled out anything in your profile. Why do you still have an egg as your picture? Why are you even on Twitter of you are not even going to do the basic fundamentals?

I'm sure there are others but these five are all I can think of right now. There are exceptions to the rule and most other people have different rules for Twitter. Just a quick sidenote, if your website link in your profile directs me to either your private Facebook page that only friends can see or your Twitter account, you are doing it wrong.