That Hamburger Needs Some Color

First of all, this seems really stupid even for Brutus. Second, you don't just ask someone what the crime they were convicted of was. If you need to know what it was, if it's important enough, they are legally obligated to tell you. If not, don't worry about it.

And you'd be mistaken if you thought I could make it through an entire comic strip and post with a guy named Ken Holt and not think of this: