Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Where's Gladys' Real Body?

The following is a transcript excerpt of the speech that Brutus gave at the 2018 Tea Cozy Expo:

What a crowd. And just so you know from security, there aren't too many people outside protesting, OK. That I can tell you. A lot of people in here, a lot of people pouring right now. They can get them in. Whatever you can do, fire marshals, we'll appreciate it.

Well, I'm thrilled to be back at the Tea Cozy Expo, in the great state of Ohio with so many thousands of hard-working American patriots. You know I'd love it if the cameras could show this crowd, because it is rather incredible. It is incredible. Incredible.

As everybody here remembers, this was the scene of my first tea cozy speech, right? The crowds were so big, almost as big as tonight, that the people said right at the beginning, you know, there's something special happening here. You always understood what the corporate fatcats did not. Our movement is a movement built on love. It's love for fellow citizens. It's love for struggling Americans who've been left behind, and love every American child who deserves warm tea and a chance to have all of their dreams come true. From the inner cities to the rural outposts, from the Sun Belt to the Rust Belt, from east to west and north to south, our movement is built on the conviction that every American from every background is entitled to a well-crafted and beautiful piece of cloth that keeps their tea warm when it is still in the kettle.

{CROWD APPLAUDS, BEGINS CHANTING USA! USA! USA!}

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