Saturday, October 17, 2015

Randy #4

RANDY

“You’ve been retired for six years though,” Randy said to Randall as he poured himself a big cup of coffee into an insulated cup. “Are people even going to hire you?”

“I’ve kept up on my licensing and I still do work around the house here. And why not come out of retirement now? Your mom isn’t here and my two kids have their own lives,” Randall said. “Kinda.”

“I’m just concerned about you, Dad. You’re too old to be climbing around wiring houses,” Randy said.

“I’m just going to do houses and commercial buildings. I’m not going to wire new houses or buildings or anything,” Randall said.

“Just be careful out there. If you need help, let me know,” Randy said as Randall walked out of the house. The door clicked shut and Randy stood for a second. “Maybe now I can get some writing done. But first, I’m going to masturbate.”





“I’m so glad that we are able to have lunch today,” Nathan said as he and Jess walked into the deli. “This makes our relationship seem more legitimate.”

“Really? Legitimate? You’re telling me that if we had lunch more during our marriage then we wouldn’t have gotten divorced?” Jess asked.

“Yes. I’m going to say ‘yes’,” Nathan chuckled. He pulled a chair out for Jess and she sat down. “We just got married too young. We should’ve just dated after high school instead of getting married four months after graduation.”

“I’ve thought that, too,” Jess agreed. “We were young and stupid. But considering that I then got married again seems to lean toward that I am just stupid.”

“No, you’re not. You’re the smartest person I know.”

“Thanks, Nathan, I…”

“After Chrissy and Brian, of course.”

“Ass,” Jess croaked.

“Hi, I’m Ashbury and I will be your server,” said a small, perky blonde, setting two glasses of water on the table in front of Nathan and Jess. “Our special today is the BLT and it comes with a half-size of chicken noodle soup. Would you like more than water to drink?”

“I’ll have a Coke,” Nathan said.

“Raspberry iced tea for me,” Jess said.

“I will go get those,” Ashbury smiled and walked away.

“What are you thinking of having?” Nathan asked.

“Just a salad, I think. I may do a sandwich.”

“I’m getting the special. How’s work going?”

“It’s going good, can’t wait until I graduate and can move into being a teacher. I have to student teach first but it’s only a year.”

Ashbury dropped off the drinks. “Are you ready to order?” she asked.

“Yes, she will have the Ceaser salad and I will have the special,” Nathan ordered.

“All right. I’ll get those orders placed.”

“I never knew you wanted to be a teacher. But I guess, honestly, I never really cared what you wanted after we were married. Or before we were married.”

“You were slightly better than my second husband though,” Jess chuckled and began drinking her tea.

“Really?”

“Nick was way too into sports. Football, basketball, soccer. A baseball team started doing well and went to the playoffs so he started watching that. Nick’s idea of a romantic date was dinner at a “sit-down place” which could range from Steak N Shake to Longhorn Steakhouse and then to someplace where we could have sex.”

“That reminds me of a few dates we’ve had,” Nathan joked.

“A few. I originally just wanted to go to school for child care but I found out that I really liked it so I decided to go further and get a teaching degree.”

“What age are you planning on teaching?”

“Middle or high school. Whichever I can find a job.”

“Why not elementary? I mean, you’re working with those kids now at the day care center.”

“I feel that I can be a better teacher to teenagers. They are the ones that need encouragement to stay and work hard in school.”

“I know I would’ve probably tried harder in school if you were my teacher.”

“In this scenario where I’m your teacher, we’ve still had sex, right?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Of course,” Jess nodded.

Ashbury brought out their salad and sandwich and they began eating but still talked to each other. Jess was halfway through her salad and Nathan was shoving the last of his sandwich in his mouth when someone walked up to them.

“Jess?” the man asked.

“Oh my God, Nick?” Jess covered her mouth as she spoke. “Nathan, this is Nick, my ex-husband. Nick, this is Nathan, my other ex-husband. What is wrong with me?” she asked herself softly.

“Oh, nice to meet you,” Nathan extended his hand.

“Nice to meet the one who broke Jess in,” Nick laughed as he shook Nathan’s hand. “How are you doing, Jess?”

“I’m good. About to graduate from school. I’m going to become a teacher. How are you?”

“Good, good. Got married again--that’s her over there,” he pointed to beautiful redhead by the door. “I’ve also started my own business, it’s that new record store on Antioch.”

“Really? That doesn’t sound like you. You told me that you were never going to quit your job at the sunglass kiosk at the mall.”

“But then I met Mary and things started to change. She wanted to bring out the best in me and she suceeded. It was nice to see you again.”

Nick walked away. Jess turned and watched him and the redhead leave the restaurant together. “Well, this day just got significantly worse,” Jess said.




“Never thought I’d have to Ayn Rand,” Brian said as he and Chrissy walked to the bookstore for book club.

“Don’t be fooled by the choice of book, this is a pretty liberal book club,” Chrissy reassured.

“Why’d you join a book club?” Brian asked.

“To make new friends. Thanks for coming with me, I’m hoping that with someone here I know, I won’t be so quiet.”

“So you need an old friend to help you around your new friends?”

“Shut up, it’s complicated.”

They went into the bookstore where a couple book club members were already there and another woman was getting out chairs. “Hi, Chrissy, right?” asked an older woman with brunette hair.

“Yes, I’m glad you remembered. Elaine, right?” Chrissy laughed. “This is Brian, he tagged along with me tonight.”

“Nice to meet you, Brian,” Elaine said.

“Nice to meet you, too.”

“It’ll be interesting to have a little testosterone injected into this club,” she continued.

“What?” Brian asked Chrissy.

“You’re the only guy here. Let’s help Kath set up chairs,” Chrissy changed the subject.

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