You Could Also Just Stop Playing

July 8, 1966

I am constantly carrying trays of food and dishes and I've never dropped them--no matter how impressively loud my kid was coming home from school.

What were you even doing? Cleaning up your social club's tea party you had earlier?

Stop hitting the ball twice as much as you have to? I don't have any good golf advice, a lot of what I see about golf is just hit the ball hard toward where the hole is. I don't know. Have you tried doing that, Brutus?

Another Dollar Lost

Before we get started on today's Born Loser strips, just pointing out that summer is among us so I am out of work for the next couple of months. If you enjoy what pops up here, you can click on the Support link at the top of the page and support me or the website.

If you didn't see, there's a new post about my arch-nemesis, Capt. Kid. He says he knows famous actress Not Rita Hayworth because he's a liar and needs to seek therapy.

February 15, 1987

If this happened today, Brutus would've been beaten by the other restaurant patrons and arrested. Ha ha. We're living in a terrible timeline.

And Brutus, you're fine. No need to be embarrassed or worried. No need to make a federal case out of going into the wrong bathroom. It's 1987, not 2025.

"He says whatever I tell him to say." "I was with Hurricane Hattie at whatever time you say the crime happened. You can't pin this on her, pigs!"

You taught Kewpie to talk? You were only gone 15 minutes.