Friday, October 11, 2019

Tank N Tummy #20

Dominic and Aaron were behind the counter when MaryJane and Ned came into the store. “I am at work now. We can talk about this later,” he said.

“No, we need to talk about this now,” she replied. “It’s a very important decision and we need to discuss it.”

“I’m at work now. You need to go to work. We can talk about it later,” Ned said, again.

“I’m not leaving until we talk about this. I don’t want to spend the day mad at you or you mad at me.”

Ned glanced at Dominic and Aaron who quickly acted nonchalant like they weren’t paying attention. “Fine but let’s at least go into my office.”

“Fine,” MaryJane agreed and they went into the back office and closed the door.

“What do you think they are arguing about?” Aaron asked.

“Probably whose turn it is to take it up the butt,” Dominic replied.

The door opened again and Ryan came into the store. He was noticeably limped, almost dragging his foot. “Hey, guys,” he said.

“Hi, Ryan,” Dominic greeted. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Ryan got behind the counter, pulled the stool up and sat down. He let out a long sigh of relief.

“Is something wrong with your foot?” Aaron asked.

“Not at all. Well, it’s a cramp,” Ryan shrugged. “Maybe I slept on it wrong?”

“Slept on it wrong? Do you sleep curled up like a cat?” Dominic laughed.

“My foot’s asleep,” Ryan shrugged again.

Aaron bent down and poked Ryan’s ankle. Ryan screamed in pain. “Yep, that what happens when my foot falls asleep too.”




Lauren loved the weight of her boyfriend, Bryce, on top of her as they had sex. She held onto him tightly as he finished and pressed more of his weight down on her. He rolled off of her and sighed happily. She rolled over and took him in her mouth, tasting themselves mixing together. He shuddered and began moaning. She then stopped, cuddled up next to him and they kissed. “Thank you,” she said. “Waking up to that was quite a surprise. Shouldn’t you be getting ready for work?”

“That’s kind of why I slept over last night. I took today off so I could spend the entire day with you on your day off,” Bryce said.

“You want to run errands with me?” she asked, laughing.

“We can do those things but I have other things planned. Breakfast, a museum visit, a hike at the lake, a nice lunch, and I plan on making dinner for you tonight,” Bryce revealed and kissed Lauren. “Which, we should really get ready. I want to get you some breakfast and then we can do one of your errands.”

“Oh, boy. You’re gonna love being at the DMV with me,” Lauren placed her hand on his cheek.

“Seriously?”

“My license expires in two weeks and this is my only weekday off for three weeks. Don’t worry. There’s plenty of time to do everything. Let’s get going.”




“You need to see a doctor. Your ankle is clearly broken,” Dominic said. “How did it happen?”

“Nothing happened. I slept on it wrong. It’s a cramp,” Ryan restated. “Maybe I pushed a baby carriage out of the way of an out-of-control bus.”

“No,” Dominic responded.

“Maybe my apartment caught on fire and I had to jump out of the window.”

“Not that either,” Aaron said.

“Then I slept on it wrong.”

“Look, it doesn’t matter how it happened but you need to see a doctor. Your foot is starting to swell and I can see it turning purple,” Dominic pointed at Ryan’s foot.

“It’s fine. Now, I’m going to go get a drink. Does anyone want anything?”

“No, we’re good.”

Ryan slowly got off the stool and put pressure on his foot as he stood. “AAAAAAAAAAHH! UUUHHHNNNNFFFF!” he shrieked. He began hobbling off toward the fountain drinks, moaning and grunting with each step.

“Such a man,” Aaron said. “A dumb, dumb man.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to move in with you,” MaryJane said as she and Ned were still in his office. “I just like my independence and space and moving into your place doesn’t offer that.”

“Then we can find a new place. Together,” Ned said.

“What happens when we break up. Then neither of us have a place to go unlike if we just keep our own places and I just dip my toe into moving in with you.”

“When we break up. So you think we’re going to break up?”

“That’s not what I meant,” MaryJane sighed. “This is my first long-term relationship. I mean, there’s no way this was going to last forever, right?” she chuckled, hoping to lighten the mood.

Ned was quiet. He fumbled a pen around in his hand. “I guess not since you have been sabotaging it from the very beginning.”

“What? No I haven’t.”

“You went in thinking it wasn’t going to last. That’s sabotaging it. You convinced yourself that it wasn’t going to last so when it does seem like it could you come up with a reason to end it. Why?”

“I don’t want to end it. I just don’t want to move in with you.”

“Then say that. I asked you and you agreed but then said you wanted to keep your apartment.”

MaryJane was silent this time, scratching a fingernail across the arms of the chair she was sitting in. “Then what do we do?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe we should take a break,” Ned said.

“Okay, Ross. This is us arguing over moving in together. What happens when I tell you that I don’t want to get married or have children or that I’m saving up money to travel around the world for two years?”

“That sounds amazing,” Ned complemented. “You don’t want to get married? I understand the kid thing but marriage?”

“Why do we need the government or church involved in humanity’s love?” MaryJane smirked at Ned. “Having a ring on my finger or a different last name or someone to come home to doesn’t change how I feel about a person, the way I am, or the sex so what’s the point?”

“Yeah, what is the point?” Ned asked.

“See? I told you my foot was fine,” Ryan said, returning to the counter.

“But you winced in pain the whole time. You even had to stop to rest,” Dominic said. “Leave. Go see a doctor. I’ll go with you. Ned can come out here and help Aaron.”

“I’m not going to see a doctor.”

“Why not?” Aaron asked. “Are you afraid of the doctor?”

“Yes. A few years ago, a doctor told me that my father was going to be just fine. Nothing would go wrong. That doctor lied and my father died. If I go to a doctor I’m afraid that I won’t come back out.”

“Your dad’s not dead,” Dominic exclaimed. “Both he and your mom are still alive. They sent me a Christmas card last year. I saw them at the movies last month.”

“I just don’t like the doctor. Mainly because I can’t afford it.”

“We’re going to the doctor,” Dominic said. “Aaron, let Ned know. We’ll be back as soon as we can.”




Lauren and Bryce held hands as they stared at a painting at the art museum. As they looked, Lauren tilted her head and rested it on Bryce’s shoulder. “Thanks for coming to the DMV with me,” she said. “It made the wait a little less boring.”

“I still don’t understand how they were using numbers but our place in line was ‘R’. Where does R fall on the number line?” Bryce asked.

Lauren chuckled. “It doesn’t matter. We made it through.”

“I’m so glad we had this day together,” Bryce said. “We should probably move away from this painting. We’ve been staring at it for awhile.”

It was a painting of woman and her baby. Most people assumed it was supposed to be Mary and Jesus but it was really the wife and son of the artist. “Even though it’s the artist’s wife and son, he used religious iconography which is why everyone thinks it’s Mary and Jesus,” Lauren explained.

“I didn’t know you knew so much about this painting,” Bryce said.

“It’s on the placard,” she pointed out.

“Oh,” Bryce chuckled. “If he painted this, purposely making his wife and son seem like Mary and Jesus, then does that mean the artist considers himself God?”

“Seems like it,” Lauren nodded.

“Come on, let’s keep wandering,” Bryce began walking to the next painting, guiding Lauren with him. “We need to work off breakfast and lunch so we’ll be ready to eat the dinner I’m making for us.”




“So, we’re done?” MaryJane asked, holding back tears.

“I think so. I think we came to that agreement,” Ned tapped on his desk.

“But it was fun, right?”

“It was. I have no regrets,” Ned said. “Well, maybe one. Getting too involved in this.”

“We should’ve hammered out the details before we hooked up. I’m a lawyer, I should’ve known better,” MaryJane shook her head and stood up. “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah. I’ll still be here.”

“I’ll still be buying my 60 ounce soda here,” MaryJane confirmed.

“Glad we won’t lose your business,” Ned laughed.

They left the office and Ned escorted her across the store and out the door. “See you, Ned.”

“See you, MaryJane,” Ned waved.

“Did you two break up?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah. Where’s Dominic and Ryan?”

“Hospital.”

“Oh my God. What happened?”

“Ryan has a broken foot and he insisted on continuing to walk and stand on it and try to prove it wasn’t broken so we finally convinced him to go to a doctor.”

“Ouch. Well, sorry, I was tied up with MaryJane instead of helping you when they left.”

“It’s only been half an hour. I’m good,” Aaron said.

Ned got behind the counter with Aaron and sat down on the stool. “Broken foot?”

“Yeah. He even walked from here to the fountains and back. He was in extreme pain the entire time. It took him nearly ten minutes. He had to rest. It was hilarious.”

Ned laughed. “I wish I had seen that. That does sound hilarious.”

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