Korman's Kalamity

Tales from the Crypt aired on HBO from June 10, 1989 to July 19, 1996. Based on the popular horror comic book series from EC that ran from 1950 until 1955, this was one of the last things William Gaines had a hand in, aside from publishing Mad before his death in 1992. Running for 93 episodes, Tales from the Crypt became a fairly popular series because, since it aired on HBO, a premium cable channel, it could actually show elements of horror along with swearing, graphic violence, sex, and nudity. In "Korman's Kalamity", Jim Korman, played by Harry Anderson, is a comic book artist whose art comes alive. "Korman's Kalamity" aired June 26, 1990 and was written by Terry Black and directed by Rowdy Herrington.

The episode opens with Jim working on Saturday to get a story finished for the magazine he works on: Tales from the Crypt. He's having problems drawing a corpse-eater. His wife, Mildred (Colleen Camp) bursts in and derides Jim for working on a Saturday, canoodling with secretaries (they are off today), and not taking his fertility pills so they can have a baby.

I love the costumes so far. Those are some fun shirts.

Anyway, Mildred is a ball-breaking shrew and even though Jim disappoints her at every turn since they got married, he is stuck with her. Defeated, Jim takes his pill even though he is worried about the side effects and believes the pills are messing with his brain.

Anderson clearly didn't draw in this episode. The comic book art
used throughout the series was done mostly by Mike Vosburg, although at
least one episode was illustrated by Shawn McManus.

Jim then goes back to work on the corpse-eater, which now seems to come to him easily. Cutting to a laundromat, a pretty lady (Cynthia Gibbs) is doing her laundry while Jim is finishing up his laundry. The two make eye contact but Jim heads out the door while the woman settles in to read while her laundry cleans.

While reading, the power in the laundromat goes out and a creepy guy comes in (Richard Schiff) saying that he shorted out the fuse box. Intending to rape and possibly kill this woman, she reveals that she's a police officer which doesn't impress him. Even being karate chopped and flipped over just makes him angrier. That's when a sudsy sea monster pops out of the washing machine, chews on the man's head for a bit and then just rips it off.

The police investigate but don't believe her story that a monster ripped the man's head off. I don't know how they think the head managed to be ripped off because I don't think she could do it. Look, you don't have to believe monster but how else could this happen? Also, are we ever going to give her a name?

While out on patrol, the officer comes across the most recent issue of Tales from the Crpyt which features a cover that looks very familiar to her.

Other covers she looks at also correspond to other weird sightings people are seeing across the city. She then decides to go see this "Jim Korman" who is apparently creating monsters that are roaming the city. Meanwhile, at the Tales from the Crypt office, Mildred calls Jim at work and begins henpecking him. Yes, he took his pill. No, he's not canoodling with the secretaries. Yes, I am working. He then begs her to give him a break. She threatens to break his neck when he gets home and hangs up on him.

Maybe he should go into hiding. There are places he can go that
can protect him.

After work, Jim gets in his car and finds that Officer Woman is in there, sitting in the backseat. That doesn't seem very police-y. They do recognize each other from the laundromat, which is good, because considering how fuzzy that scene was on YouTube, I could barely recognize them.

She couldn't just wait outside the car. Or come upstairs to the office?
And why isn't she in uniform anymore?

SHE HAS A NAME! Lorelai Phelps. She explains to Jim that monsters that have appeared on the covers of Tales from the Crypt have also appeared in reality and instead of thinking that Jim just has elaborate costumes and is himself the monsters, she believes his drawings are coming alive. Jim's skeptical, who wouldn't be, but Lorelai wants to do an experiment. They go back up to the office where Jim starts drawing a monster while Lorelai looks on. I'm sure Mildred would love this scenario. Anyway, Jim finishes the monster and it looks like this. Somewhere in the city, it's going to pop up.

No evidence of this monster is immediately apparent. Jim then hits on Lorelai, who backs away because he draws horrible monsters. Jim says he'll start doing romance books. Hmm. Mildred was right about him. He is a letch.

Jim, NO!!

Meanwhile, in a different part of the episode, a group of kids are playing war in a warehouse of some sort. One of the kids who was left behind, hears a noise from a refrigerator and noises coming from it. The kids can't get the door open, but the monster doesn't need any help. The monster scares off the kids and the monster starts stalking the streets. I assume. We never see this monster again.

Grandma?!

Back at the office, Jim is doodling romance scenes which disgusts his editor. His editor leaves and Jim receives a phone call from Lorelai. He suggests they meet for dinner at a nice, secluded restaurant just down the street. They were just thinking about each other. This spot has a nice view, good food, soft music, and as the camara pans around the artist desk...

SWEET VELVET FOG!! How'd she do that?!

Mildred goes downstairs to get a surprise for Jim while Jim, almost unconsciously, draws another monster that looks kind of like Mildred. When Mildred returns, her surprise is a gun. She then notices his latest monster looks like her and gets angrier. Jim tries to blame the pills when this happens.

"That's flattering, Jim. Is that how you picture me? As a rancid heap of garbage?

Mildred and the monster start fighting so Jim just walks out of the office, just as Lorelai shows up in a very revealing dress. Jim pushes her into the elevator as the monster gains the upper hand and, I guess slaughters Mildred.

He's gonna have to redraw this page.

Jim and Lorelai have a romantic date and the Cryptkeeper says they will live happily ever after which disgusts him. "Maybe Mildred should've been nicer to him and then she wouldn't have turned into such a monsterpiece!" Now, stayed tuned for Dream On, it's the breast show on TV!

Every episode of Tales from the Crypt was adapted from an issue of the EC horror library. This episode was originally presented in Tales from the Crypt #31 (Aug-Sep 1952) as "Kamen's Kalamity" by Bill Gaines, Al Feldstein, Jack Kamen, Graham Ingels, Johnny Craig, and Jack Davis. In the comic, Gaines and Feldstein hire Kamen whose art is too sweet. Kamen doses off at his table and dreams of committing murder before returning home to his wife and children. He then wakes up at home... Clearly, the name was changed from Jack Kamen to Jim Korman, although Harry Anderson would play a Professor Kamen in the Christian movie A Matter of Faith.

You can watch the full episode here. Harry Anderson would be 71 on October 14.