Sunday Is for Shopping

"I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure." -Clarence Darrow.

Photos from Getty Images.

I mentioned to my wife this morning that I hope other politicians read how the bulk of people remember Lindsay Graham, who passed away earlier this morning from a "brief illness", and Mitch McConnell, who had a medical emergency back on June 14 and has been neither seen nor heard since prompting speculation into his death, and not want that for themselves. "I don't want people to talk about me like that!" Well, then be a better person. Don't insert yourself into people's lives, don't take away people's right, and don't attach yourself to a man who is definitely bringing about the end of your country.

I don't have much hope in that though. Most politicians, especially Republicans, are not in government to actually help people and make the country a better place, but to enrich themselves, especially after seeing how easy it is with Trump as the president. Lindsay Graham was even an early opponent of Trump. I don't know what happened but seeing him brown-nose Trump over the last ten years has been disheartening and I hate that I can't tell if it's out of necessity, actual respect, or fear. That's how I feel about any politician who brown-noses Trump. Why are you doing this and no matter what the reason, it makes you a bad person and people are not going to care when you die.

Sure, maybe a bunch of randos on the Internet saying bad stuff about you after you die isn't high on your list of why you should be a good person, but why would you use this limited time on this planet--in this life--to be a terrible person? And again, it doesn't matter what your reasoning is, it still makes you a bad person. Anyway, former Capitol Police Officer Michael Fanone probably says it best "Rest in Piss" to both Graham and McConnell. They could've continued making the country a better place after 2016, but instead chose to make it worse for everybody for reasons we will now never know.

Gladys is looking forward to shopping with Brutus? Okay. It's bold of Brutus to still ask if he could not go shopping and play golf instead when Gladys responded so excitedly to them going.

What's Wilberforce going to do? Is he going to locked in his little cage or what? He certainly isn't going shopping with his parents.

Shrimp Saturday. No, Wait. Saturday Shrimp.

Salad shrimp is apparently different from regular shrimp so Brutus is going to bring Gladys the wrong shrimp. Men are bad at shopping. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

She's Just Doing That In Public!

One thing I like to do is research all the ghost towns that are in Kansas. Most of them barely become anything more than just a name on a piece of paper. Some actually turn into a location that barely stretches further than someone's house. Fewer become actual towns that remain on maps. One of those so-called "paper towns" was Wyoming, Kansas in Calhoun County, now northern Shawnee County.

An advertisement appeared in 1857 in newspapers and Wyoming even appeared on a couple of maps, but by the time Kansas became a state, it was gone. From 2018, Wyoming, Kansas. Oh, also Brutus hands in a subpar report so it's just another--what day did this go up?--Friday for Brutus.

July 14, 1967

Wilberforce eats soap. Well, that's a good piece of the puzzle. Especially since he's burping up bubbles while arguing he didn't eat the soap?

It's only been a couple months and Art has no idea what to do with Teeny.

I barely even use the chip card anymore because it's so spotty in if it will work or not. Anymore I just tap the card or use my phone/watch. I certainly will not hand my card to the cashier so they can dance around with it. Maybe that's just me...

Dream Life

April 24, 1988

Wastrel's caught up in the legal system again. Here's hoping the court believes him about the Miracle At Lourdes. It's not like Wastrel is on easy street, he seems really bad at money.

Is that a little girl on the jury or is it Bring Your Daughter to Jury Duty Day?

I don't talk in my sleep. My Mom talked in her sleep a couple of times. "Does Veronica have flowers in her yard?" I have no idea who Veronica is.

Pink is definitely a choice for the lighting in this bedroom. Is it the light from an alarm clock?

School's out so I'm (barely) working over the next couple of months. If you would like to support me or this website, you can throw some money at the About page or click the 'tip' button.

How About Just Working Better?

June 23, 1967

So the doll says "Hello, stupid!" along with 5 or 6 other sayings? I don't see what the problem is. $10.95 is a very good deal. Also, it seems to be motion activated?

Do the woman and girl have anything to do with this strip or are they just foreground background characters? I originally thought one of them was throwing their voice.

But that would also require Brutus to work which is something he doesn't really do. Not only is Brutus bad at working, he also does it very rarely.

$95 Sack

June 8, 1967

Is Brutus just chasing around butterflies? Is this his hobby?

I guess what she's saying makes sense. I would just more expect "How was I supposed to know..." as opposed to "I was supposed to know...".

Round up my total for what? For kicks? For shits and giggles? If you want to give $0.99 to a charity, then give it to me. I'm a charity case.

Tuna Tuesday

May 23, 1967

Yes, every man--every human--must face up to responsibility at some point in their life. Unless you are politician. Unless you are a CEO. Unless you are a celebrity. Unless you are unbelievably wealthy. Unless you are six degrees separated from the right people. Unless...

What's Brutus doing? Is he doing a "everything the light touches is our kingdom" thing?

I like tuna. I should eat more tuna. Not eight cans worth of tuna, but at least tuna keeps.

We're a beret family now.

11 Angry Men...& Brutus

President Trump's healthcare plan is to get rid of the Affordable Care Act--where subsidies are used to make health insurance cheaper--and replace it with giving those subsidies directly to the American people. Most estimates puts that at each American gets around $2000 a year. I don't know about you, but most health insurance costs at least $400 a month. I get insurance through my employer and I pay about $200 a month for it. My employer pays the rest at about $350-$400. That's about $500 a month using a conservative estimate for health insurance. Somehow I don't think that $2000 a year is going to cut it considering people are looking at $6000 a year for health insurance. Maybe getting government out of health insurance will lower the prices, but I'm not going to hold my breath. If I held my breath waiting for one of Trump's policies to actually do what we were told would happen, I would've died back in 2017.

May 15, 1967

It's just the front page. Nothing good is ever on the front page.

I'm assuming the sale is happening at Gimbel's

The court makes it easy to attend jury duty. I had to spend an entire day doing jury selection and they repeatedly said they will pay any parking fees you incur while serving. Brutus must've parked illegally, but even then I feel you could argue "I was doing jury duty" and get it forgiven.

"Why are you home from jury duty so early?" What's early from jury duty? Is Gladys up to something? Start going through the closets, Brutus. Is Arnie here?!

I Found No Evidence of a Tyrone Pupnik

October 25, 1987

Well! I expect this kind of treatment at Kroger, but not at the Thriftway! I'm usually more abused by employees in a small grocery store than a big chain. Not that there are many small grocery stores anymore.

The muttering text doesn't even fit saying "Have a nice day" so what did she really say?

"You mean to tell me that I could've been Gladys Pupnik?" What's Tyrone Pupnik doing now? Is he upper management compared to Brutus' mid-management? Does he work in a tea kettle factory instead of a tea cozy company? Does Tyrone make the tea?

Chip is actually an alumni of Lakewood (Ohio) High School, just like Brutus here. Chip became a Distinguished Alumni (whatever that is) in 2014.

A look at the Topeka, Eskridge & Council Grove Railroad posted yesterday. If you want to support me or this website, you can do that through the About page.

Jersey State of Mind

January 28, 1967

Ha! She's probably laughing at the card game I lost this evening.

Ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! She's probably laughing at my tiny penis.

Charge it! She's clearly paying for dinner with a strapping young man who has a big penis and knows how to play cards.

I don't really see how the laughter leads to "Charge it!" Is she talking to the salesman? "This dress seems to be rather expensive." "But it looks so good on you. You know, if you pay with credit, you can take it home today and show your husband how good it looks on you. Then he'll beg you to keep it. And even if not, it will already be processed and too late to return." *both laugh* "Charge it!"

I don't know why Brutus is telling Mother Gargle where he's going. She doesn't care. He could tell her he was going to walk off the edge of Echo Cliff/Point and she would just continue to stare into her mug.

Gladys has that look on her face because Gladys knows that Brutus isn't allowed back in New Jersey.

Cattle Is Cattle, Brutus

January 18, 1967

Are necktie--or, I guess, clothing--salesmen always this violent? He's going to try to sell Brutus a second tie and end up strangling him with it. Also, if each tie is $5 then two for $9.98 is not a great deal. Brutus doesn't need a second tie, he barely survived the first...

What's with this sign? "Stamp out sensible shoes"? What?

Buffalo meat is good. I don't know what Brutus' problem is.

I think we're well passed the point of people thinking buffalo wings are actually buffalo. Time to find a new joke about buffalo wings. How about commenting that boneless wings are just chunkier chicken nuggets? Or how...Does this buffalo burger come with a side? Or cheese? Or any condiments? Just a glass of water?

Holiday Spirit

January 17, 1967

My only reference for expensive dresses back then are episodes of I Love Lucy. When the Ricardos and Mertzes went to Hollywood, Lucy wants a Don Loper original. I'd never even heard of Don Loper but he sells his dresses for $500 and even I knew that seemed expensive for 1955. Hell, $500 is expensive for 2025.

That sign says "Frodo lives".

Brutus is hitting the seasonal drinks early and hard this year.

Christmas doldrums is still just a purely Charlie Brown thing. Others may try, but only Charlie Brown can do it just right.

Press 4 for Billing

January 16, 1967

Is she just going around claiming guys are making goo-goo eyes at her so her boyfriend will beat them up or was this just an innocent mistake? Either way, it's not ideal. I'll gladly take a punch for someone I do make goo-goo eyes to, but not just some random trollop who wants to get her jollies.

A 'gaffer' is a word for an old man and has been in use since 1589. Gammer is a word for an old woman, which is even older. So she's having her boyfriend beat up old people.

I looked up 'Roarak' and the first thing that popped up was an adventure-ready clothing store and I was like "Brutus is going on adventures and needs special clothes?!!" but that was 'Roark'. Roarak is just a name. Chip probably just thumbed through a phone book or one lives nearby. I'm more interested in this company having a person specifically for directing calls and not, you know, an automated call tree system.

You Know What Grinds My Gears...?

We have officially entered 1967 in our reprints of the daily Born Loser classics. Brutus and his family are not quite yet the stars (although I've been tagging them as such) but all the characters are there--Brutus, Gladys, Wilberforce, Veeblefester (currently called Veeblefetzer), and Mother Gargle. I have noticed that we get a bit more Agnes Dooley (the maid character) and Apex Doob in the coming month which I am incredibly excited for.

If you would like to further support these classic comic strips, you can go to the Support link at the top of the page.

January 3, 1967

Women be shopping, amirite? Look, I understand not wanting to spend money but if you got it, spend it. It's 1967, things are so much cheaper and better quality and very few things have succumbed to the darkness that is capitalism.

I think I've asked this, but was women buying new clothes really a thing that happened a lot back then like pop culture would lead us to believe? I know it was a major plot point on many episodes of I Love Lucy but that's not real life.

There are 7 hours in a school day, you putz. I don't like it when kids complain about going to school. I didn't even like when kids complained when I was a kid. We have to do it, just hold your nose and close your eyes and get through it.

It Takes More Than Coffee These Days

I don't know. This last 24 hours has been a whirlwind. Not for me, but for a couple of presidents. If you would've told me that 2025 would have us finding out that Donald Trump possibly performed oral sex on President Bill Clinton, I would've cried fake news because neither one really seems like they'd be into that. I guess I underestimated how disgusting men could be. I should know better than to underestimate how disgusting men can be.

December 29, 1966

Like a Brutus in a China shop...

I don't know you would hold your umbrella like that at all. Not just in a place with valuable and fragile things, but everywhere. You're just asking to hit someone or something with it.

I'm not a morning person. I'm not really awake until about 9. I'm usually up at about 6:30.

I can't imagine someone being awake at seven in the morning and reading about all the bullshit about Trump. That would just immediately want me to end the day right there. I don't get online until I get home at 4.

More Like Panic Room

August 9, 1987

Ok. Her dress got caught in the door--I'm not sure how considering how little there is of the dress to get caught--but how would that stop her? Is Brutus thinking her dress will be ripped off and she'll end up in her underwear and then be arrested for indecent exposure or something? Is she just stuck there now? She can't open the door herself?

If something happens to that blouse, she'll just want to buy a new blouse at Geigers.

Now wait a minute. The Thornapples are always cutting their budget, Brutus hasn't gotten a raise in years, can't afford to go to Disney World, and can't afford an appetizer before the entree, but Gladys thinks they can afford to build a guest suite? A safe room can just be the size of a closet but a whole guest room? Also, don't they have a guest room? This house has to have more than two bedrooms.

I've never seen Gladys more excited...

Lucy and Sophie Say Good Bye ran for 32 weeks in 1905. Featuring beautiful artwork, clever gags, a unique concept, and a same-sex relationship, this comic strip is a little known gem from the early 20th Century. If you would like to support me or this website, you can click Support at the top of the page.

You'll Never Catch Mother Gargle Pop Some Tags

August 10, 1966

I hope this guy is sitting in the old buzzard's office. He originally just used the office to fart in and then one day, just never left. Except to get that picture of the boss off the big printer.

Does Mother Gargle hate everything? Isn't that tiring? She clearly doesn't like thrifting unless it leads to an insult of her son-in-law.

Mathing

June 15, 1966

Did Thornapple not see that gigantic sign hanging up next the entrance? Maybe he always walks around with his eyes closed so he doesn't see advertisements. I also find it odd they don't have signs inside the store.

I don't know if anyone else in education has this issue, but it's kind of difficult to explain to students that when you add or multiply you can transpose the numbers (34+63=97, 63+34=97, 9x8=72, 8x9=72) but you can't do that with subtraction or division (12-4=8, 4-12=-8, 49÷7=7, 7÷49=0.14...) so Hattie is already ahead of those kids.

Brutus Could Barely See the Parade Anyway

June 8, 1966

I'm going to assume that the joke for this strip is that he's an officer and has long forgotten what a lowly sailor likes or would want.

"Oh, Gob!"? Is this guy's name 'Gob'? As in, George Oscar Bluth as portrayed by Will Arnett in the cult favorite TV show Arrested Development? Does this lady know him or is Gob some sort of military codename?

July 4, 2011

Calm down. It's just a parade. Why can't Wilberforce just scoot past those four people?

When I first commented on this strip, I pointed out the person of color in the "crowd". That man would become Arnie, a beloved character who not only works with Brutus but also lives next door. Wait. Do all Veeblefester employees live in some sort of compound or enclave?

Car Trouble

June 3, 1966

Betty, you gotta keep your eyes on Bamm-Bamm. Yes, he's the strongest baby in the world, but the world can be a dark and scary place.

Grocery stores still have loose pieces of vegetables that you can buy. You can use one of those hard-to-open plastic bags, but no one's making you. Just through that lettuce and celery in the cart without care. However, I never see loose loaves of bread.

1989

Gladys, if you're not going to help then get out and I will just push, steer, and stop on my own.

I think I could pull Gladys' hat off.