Cloudy With a Chance of Depression

We occasionally see Brutus walking to (or from, I guess) work and I guess it's him walking from the bus stop. Judging by what Brutus is talking about, it must not have been a good day at work.

My Dinner With Rancid

Back in 2019, I decided to stop commenting on The Born Loser. The reason was wanting to focus on writing and thinking the idea had run its course. On that part, I was correct. Due to a death in the family, I came into dozens of The Born Loser strips from 1977 until 2003 so I made my last "Losers Are Made, Not Born" (as I called this thing at the time) focused on those.

I brought The Born Loser back in November of 2020 because I had too much time on my hands, I was depressed, and I hadn't written anything in about six months and thought this would help. I also didn't use the stupid title as I felt I had moved on from outright attacking the comic and treating it more with respect. It's something I enjoy doing. I hopefully provide some insight, or some chuckles, or just general entertainment. I hope those of you who are regulars enjoy the comics, the commentary, and the other stuff I occasionally do on this site.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can throw some money at the links in my About page.

 

July 31, 1988

I can get behind Shakespeare not being real or Shakespeare just being the person the writing was attributed to while someone else (or numerous someone else's) did the work. But I refuse to believe Queen Elizabeth I was a man. Apparently that myth came about around in the 1800s when Thomas Keble recorded that during renovations, the skeleton of a 9-year-old girl were found in a coffin. This theory was popularized by Dracula novelist Bram Stoker when he claimed the skeleton was Queen Elizabeth and provided an explanation for why the queen never married or had children. The theory goes that Elizabeth died suddenly and, to hide that fact from Henry VIII, a local boy was chosen to pose as the future queen. The "Bisley Boy" scenario has never been taken seriously and has always been a fringe conspiracy. But in 1985, a study was published Queen Elizabeth I: A case of testicular feminization? which posits that Queen Elizabeth was a hermaphrodite. The above comic is from 1988 so it's possible Art got wind of that article at some point and eventually wrote a comic about it. I don't believe that either, but I understand how fun it is to troll people about this stuff.

Mm. I don't care if I am eating dinner with my boss, I don't want to talk about work during my time off. I certainly don't want to talk about my boss to my boss. If I had to do that, I'll just stick to drinking coffee, thank you.

Season Opener

Winsor McCay was a pioneer in both animation and comic strips, creating the beloved Little Nemo In Slumberland which lasted 11 years from 1905 to 1914 and 1924 to 1926, but his longest-running comic was Dreams of the Rarebit Fiend which lasted 1904 to 1913 and, as Rarebit Reveries, from 1923 to 1925 and featured different people having nightmares because they ate rabbit. You can see a small collection of Rarebit Fiend and a sample of McKay's first popular comic Little Sammy Sneeze here.

October 10, 1967

I agree. Those signs should either already be up or installed while the library is closed. This guy doesn't even look like he works for the library.

And there's another game on, with all that other crap, after this one! Yay, sportsball!

My mom would watch sports and whenever we'd go to my Grandma's, my uncle would dominate the TV with his sports. The fact that I was around sports so much as a kid yet never got into them I think definitely says more about sports than it does me.

And Is He Holding the Controller Like a Remote?

What if Elvis Presley was a rooster?

One of my favorite movies growing up, Rock-A-Doodle reimagines the story of Chanticleer. A group of animals try to find Chanticleer in the Big City to bring him home so he can wake up the sun and stop the endless rain.

Let's just say this movie is definitely not like the Don Bluth movies that came before this one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

October 9, 1967

Teeny is cooking? Oh, what a day! Is she boiling just the meat or the entire hamburger? Those patties are probably just going to fall apart when she takes them out of the pot. How did Gladys and Wilberforce get out this dinner?

Is Wilberforce playing a golf game? What game has you try for the lowest score? I'll admit that I'm not up-to-date on what games kids play these days, but "the lowest score wins"?

Golden Boy

In 1903, plans were made for a railroad to be built from Topeka, Kansas to Council Grove. As it became clear that this railroad probably wouldn't get built, its lines became extended and even more plans were made in hope of securing funding.

The Topeka, Eskridge & Council Grove Railroad.

 

 

 

 

October 7, 1967

"We'll be dead soon anyway..."

I guess the island is pretty sound. It's been there long enough to have pretty large palm tree on it. And these people seem unbothered by being here on this island so maybe I shouldn't be concerned.

Golden touch my ass. Veeblefester was born into wealth. He has other people to deal with his money. That's literally the only thing I actually like about Veeblefester is that he's an old school rich person and doesn't actively use his money to make everyone's lives worse unlike just about every other rich person out there.

What Shape? Lower Case B? Lower Case D if Facing to the Left

Someone wants to change time and fix the DC Universe. They want to make everything perfect, even if that means killing those who try to stop them and creating more than one world!

Who is behind Zero Hour: Crisis In Time? My first major crossover after starting to read comics, and a two-part retrospective dedicated to my father-in-law.

Part One & Part Two

 

 

October 6, 1967

Has Teeny's long-haired doofus boyfriend always been called Harold? Eh, who cares? He'll probably get sent to Vietnam in six months or so, so he won't be Teeny's problem anymore.

What should Teeny be "down with"? I'm gonna go with sales tax.

 

That doesn't sound like a gym. They'll usually take your money no matter what. I'm guessing Brutus didn't pass their vibe check.

Decision 2026

 

In 1888, H.D. Booge bought some land hoping to turn it into a suburb of Topeka, Kansas. This was just one of many business ventures he would come up with. Although you might consider the term "business venture" a nicer way of saying "scam".

Take a look at Chicago Heights and several other of Booge's money-making attempts.

 

 

 

October 5, 1967

Speech disorders are no laughing matter! If this guy is employed by a company, then good on that company for hiring someone with a speech impediment that makes singing Italian stereotype songs difficult. If he's self-employed, does he still make decent money? Is it a lot of pity fares?

Mm. So Brutus is still indecisive. This will not do. Not do at all.

I feel Brutus goes out of his way in order to not make a decision. You can't be blamed and things can't be your fault if things just happen!

A Day of Rest

Calvin gets a new neighbor just in time for Christmas. As Calvin becomes friends with Erin and her daughter Lillian, Calvin's favorite teacher, Mr. Faddis, gets hired to be Santa Claus for his building. But both Calvin and Erin become suspects when Mr. Faddis is found murdered.

Who killed Mr. Faddis? The Fifth Floor.

 

 

October 4, 1967

All that fuss because Wilberforce has to write a thank you note? He probably could've gotten that letter written in the time it took him to struggle, be picked up, and carried to the writing desk.

Someone has sapped the soul completely out of today's strip!

It's actually just a weird glitch where the black doesn't come through.

I'm not a baseball person but this is one of the many appropriate ways to celebrate Labor Day. As long as you are not working, then you are doing it appropriately. I just hope your chair is more comfortable than Brutus' looks.

Brilliant Strategy, Brutus--Words Have No Meaning

July 24, 1988

Why couldn't the bank guy give Brutus the $100? Or why didn't Brutus just get the money from inside the bank? You would think the ATM would just not work if it were out of cash. Seems very inconvenient.

Brutus' PIN is 9999 so if you find his card, that's his code. Honestly, he probably has it written on the card.

Hey! Brutus has another friend! I don't think we've seen this guy before or since, but he's out there. I bet this was one of the last times 'beer' is mentioned in The Born Loser. I think Chip began using the more kid-friendly 'drink' shortly after 2020. A lot of things changed (or should've changed) after 2020.

 

 

 

 

 

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Oh, What Heights We'll Hit...

October 3, 1967

I've been wondering this for nearly 19 years. Brutus doesn't seem particularly good at golf yet he plays it constantly. I guess he could just be playing because it's an activity that gets him outside, but still...

Is Wilberforce watching cartoons on Tubi or MeTV, because no one airs old Saturday morning cartoons anymore. And is it me or is Wilberforce too enthralled with Bugs Bunny's antics with Elmer Fudd? Maybe it's one of the cartoons where Bugs cross-dresses and it's opening up some stuff in Wilberforce.

More Than Raw

October 2, 1967

Don't be a hero, Brutus. Instead of trying to say something tough, Brutus should've done something while the robber had the gun tucked under his arm. I mean, I don't know if that's something I would do, but Brutus was willing to do this, so why not just attack?

It's a three-day weekend, Brutus can afford to have tummy bubbles from diner seafood this weekend.

I barely trust this diner with making my chicken fried steak, why would I trust it with sushi?

Wouldn't Everything Be Blurry Before Putting On Your Glasses Anyway?

September 30, 1967

Rake. Rake. Rake.

I can't believe we're missing nearly half a month of The Born Loser for September 1967. I'm sure I could find them, but just a quick search didn't give me what I needed. I'll need to try to find them and maybe put them as a special post or something.

One thing I did find was this ad for The Born Loser being added to some newspaper in 1997. I feel like if your newspaper didn't already have Frank and Ernest or The Born Loser by 1997, then maybe your readers don't really need them.

Brutus Thornapple a precursor to Homer Simpson? That's a bold statement. I wouldn't go that far. Brutus and Homer are not similar at all. Although I think you could argue that today's Brutus is more like Homer because that has been our baseline for pop culture fathers for 40 years.

"I went to the doctor today...and he did everything he could but...I am in perfect health." There's got to be a better way to open this conversation than making me worried that Uncle Ted is going blind. Love and care for your eyes, people!

After Dinner Ailment

September 15, 1967

Ok, I'm not calling the police to chat. If I'm calling the police, then I need the police in some capacity. I'm not calling to talk about my neighborhood, which is looking a little less nice now that I've been hogtied and robbed!

Have we eaten and are now just sitting and drinking coffee to settle our stomachs or something? I'm glad Wilberforce got to eat dinner, but what he's still there for?

That middle panel is definitely something a normal person says

September 14, 1967

Are...Are the Thornapples trespassing in some bear family's house?

Mm. I didn't know Veeblefester, in addition to being the CEO, was also the person who procures general office supplies.

This Could've Been an Email

September 13, 1967

Not only does Brutus' back hurt, his legs are turning into a wispy mist. That can't be good.

Why "Old Zip Coon"? Why not "Turkey In the Straw"? 😭 

Yeah, it took Veeblefester years. Mainly because Veeblefester's father first ran the company and he didn't pass away until he was 93. "Why did you call me in...Are you counting coins?"

Brutus Should Just Use Wilberforce to Cheat

July 17, 1988

Why would you wear a fake nose and glasses when meeting someone? "Cut the tension"? I'm sure there are better ways to do that than wearing something stupid on your face. Now who's the idiot?

Is Hope a cousin on Gladys' side? The women in her family certainly have a type...

I always feel that having different names for things is a way of gatekeeping. "You don't know what 'hook' and 'slice' mean? Don't make me l-a-f-f laugh!"

I hope Wilberforce is able to keep this positive attitude while he's out on the golf course for five to seven hours today.

Up, Up, and Away

September 12, 1967

Mm. Mother Gargle was always a horrid bitch. Good to know. I don't know why this argument requires waterboarding Brutus, but the 1960s were a different time.

Clark Kent is a well-respected international journalist and author who is married to a well-respected Pulitzer Prize winning international journalist and author. Being Superman is quite literally the least remarkable part of Clark Kent. Even without the punchline, comparing Brutus to Clark Kent doesn't make sense.

Late Night Friday

September 11, 1967

I'm guessing this guy is just making up a poem about the water because I could not find any poem or anything with these words. I originally thought it was from "water, water everywhere nor any drop to drink" which is from The Rime of the Ancient Mariner (Coleridge, 1834) but it's not.

Was being stranded at sea something that happened a lot in the past?

Is that Brutus' blond co-worker? I'm a little concerned that Brutus didn't realize one of his closest co-workers has not been at work.

Or is this some other blond guy Brutus knows? 

Yet Another Day, Yet Another Marital Spat

September 9, 1967

Were Brutus, Gladys, Wilberforce, and maybe Teeny were just going to share one giant steak? A least they have a big salad.

We just did this last week! These two need therapy. I'm willing to pay for some of it. Or their divorce.

House Hole

Tim Curry

1946 - 2026 

Should we give Death one more chance to take an 80-year-old in hopes that he'll snag the right one? And you just know that with every celebrity death that gets an outpouring of grief, Trump is wandering around the White House saying this:

Ben Chang is just a little less insane.

 

September 8, 1967

*slams fist on desk* Get me the suggestion box!

*slams fist on desk* Get me Grinch in accounting!

*slams fist on desk* Get me the giant check!

*slams fist on desk* Get me Thornapple!

Hmm. This giant check makes the $225 I make every other week seem even smaller...

Brutus and Gladys' life is literally falling apart. Are the walls just crumbling or did Wilberforce die during the final boss fight and he ran out of continues? "I'll just hang this picture here and no one will be the wiser..."