You know what? I don't really want Wilberforce to be hanging around either.

November 11, 1967

Art is subjective so I don't know why Brutus is getting mad and not just ignoring Wilberforce. Acknowledging him just makes him worse.

I don't hate Brutus' painting...

It's Wednesday. Plenty of time to get Mother Gargle out of the house. Y'all know my thoughts on Mother Gargle. This request is reasonable.

Happy Birthday, Brutus! Hope You Like Crap!

 

November 13, 1967

Brutus is worth more dead than alive. I've been there.

I like how exuberant this insurance? mortician? is. He really likes his job. You know what they say: "Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life."

People love getting things they don't want as a present. Get Brutus the dieting book if you want but don't get mad if it makes Brutus' birthday tense and awkward.

Madden '26

November 11, 1967

Nobody can see that skate? Somebody, at some point, should've seen it. When going to sit down. When pouring drinks. Somebody. Somehow.

"Winning is the best deodorant" is a saying that means every bad thing about a team doesn't matter or is ignored when the team is winning. Winning is the deodorant covering up the smells of a flawed team. You actually have to win for the quote to apply.

Is John Madden known for his quotes?

Even the Dog...

 

November 10, 1967

Ugh. I'd rather be cat-called by a bunch of burly construction workers than whatever these Maynard G. Krebs and Jet Screamer clones are doing. Just let a girl wait for the bus.

Okay. So I think Gladys is a decent cook. But what I think is that she experiments too much so what she cooks doesn't come out great. Just stick to the recipe. You can't go wrong with just sticking to the recipe.

 

 

 

 

 

If you or someone you know needs emotional or mental support, please contact the National Suicide Hotline at 988. 

Friday Quickies

 

November 9, 1967

A fortune teller said that this was how I was going to die.

This is the only reason Brutus won't file the divorce papers--who will monitor his balding head?

Guess You're Not Tired Anymore!

November 8, 1967

Who's in the snowball? Gladys? Just some random person? Brutus and Gladys were just skiing last week. I guess the slopes are close to home?

Brutus doesn't seem dressed appropriately for skiing.

You can't see it because it's on the left side of his face, but Gladys really walloped him.

What is he talking about? 'Window of opportunity'? What? Where?!

Pluggers, October 21, 2026

This seems like a pretty bleak Pluggers not just because it's yet another reminder that Pluggers are ever closer to death because the schools they went to are either unsafe to be used as schools anymore (damn building codes!) or everybody who lived where they did either moved away or died and the school was no longer needed.

I'm going to look at the upside though. Where I'm from, the school typically stays up and becomes abandoned. Very few are actually turned into anything because it is costly, most large consolidated schools are in rural areas and, again, the buildings are unsafe in some way. So would you rather have an empty field where your school once stood, or a dilapidated abandoned building that overshadows your town?

No, no. Large abandoned buildings are great.

November 7, 1967

Maybe you should get a job, Gladys, and Brutus can stay at home all day and do whatever it is that you do.

At least 1967 Gladys probably does more around the house than 2026 Gladys.

Wait a minute...*scrolls through literally thousands of comics where Brutus is in an office*...Brutus doesn't work in a cubicle!

Maybe being moved to a cubicle Veeblefester uses as a punishment like with whatever Brutus did on Monday.
 

TIred Tuesdays

 

November 6, 1967

I'm assuming that Brutus got the weather wrong and it was supposed to sunny and a nice day, but instead it's raining and miserable. They all at least have umbrellas and dressed appropriately? Maybe it's just a "don't we all hate the weatherman?" comic strip?

I'm tired before school every morning. It's something that began in middle school and has just continued for the last 30 or so years. I'm not a morning person.

His Name Is Error

November 4, 1967

Really, Brutus? That's what you want your child to learn at school? His dog's name? Which isn't 'Rover' by the way, but Kewpie. You should be glad Wilberforce is learning something and actually retaining information.

By the way, Tokyo was knocked out of the largest city in the world slot by Chongqing, China. Unless you want to include urban area or the entire metropolitan area. If you do that, Tokyo is still the largest city in the world.

Yeah, and AI never makes any mistakes (it gave me the wrong city when I looked up what was now the largest city in the world).

You know, in the time it's taking to have this little meeting, I could be filling out the correct form. Just pointing that out...

After Dinner (Argue)Mint

 

Flapper Fanny, September 15, 1935

I've talked about how I'm a fan of Gladys Parker and her comic strip Mopsy. But she also did Flapper Fanny for a short period. This is a good Flapper Fanny comic. Her annoyance in the second panel is great as are the Xs in her eyes when Fanny realizes she's going to prison for at least six months 30 days.

September 4, 1988

We just saw a guy nearly get killed trying to cross a busy street. I don't understand why people just can't wait for the light to change. Some people can't even seem to be bothered to walk the 50 to 100 steps to the corner with the light. No, cross in the middle of the street and do it diagonally and force 2 to 20 2-ton vehicles to cater to your needs.

It'd be nice if we could see the sign and see how many miles that officer is forcing Brutus to walk.

"Hey, everybody! Look at this! It's that man who crosses the street
without the right of way! Wave to the people! Blow them kisses!" 

"Here we are, by ourselves." Yeah, I been meaning to talk to you about that...

What are Brutus and Gladys doing after dinner? I'm not saying my wife and I are paragons of marital bliss, but we are in the same room together and we're on our laptops and watching TV. We are constantly talking to each other. Whether or not the other person wants to hear it!

 

 

 

 

 

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Bonding

November 3, 1967

This feels like entrapment. When police go undercover, it's usually just, like, a hoodie or something that makes them look normal. This is a full-on disguise of Barbara Bush(?) being used to tempt speeders to pull over and be given a ticket. On the plus side, he has no proof Brutus was speeding and the ticket will probably be thrown out if Brutus decides to go to court.

ACAB since at least 1965.

Aw. An actual sweet moment between Brutus and Mother Gargle. I hate it.

I don't like when players keep moving the mouthguard in and out of their mouths. Keep it in or take it out. Stop being gross.

Aren't Fish Sticks a Finger Food?

November 2, 1967

Welp, Brutus is dead!

I actually wonder if he fell off or he jumped off to get away from the Secretary of Nag-griculture. And I think we can forgive Brutus for not wanting to hurt himself at something he's not probably good at.

Homemade fish sticks? I'm kind of impressed. Making fish sticks just seems complicated. But she only had to make enough for her and Brutus. Wilberforce got lunch at school and that's all he needs.

Siddhartha Is Not Boring

 

November 1, 1967

Rude.

Are kissing booths still a thing? $1 for a kiss or whatever? Are there kissing booths with men? I get that kissing booths could be construed as promoting sexual assault, but if anything, kissing booths promote prostitution.

When I become a history teacher, I'm going to kick Wilberforce into the sun.

That's Quite a First Panel

 

Harry Anderson, star of Night Court, Dave's World, and a TV-movie remake of Harvey as seen on the left here, would've been 74 today. I didn't do any special post or anything but I did find this promotional picture from the aforementioned Harvey with a portrait of Anderson's Elwood Dowd and his mythological rabbit, Harvey.

Here is last year's Harry Anderson post featuring his appearance in the HBO series Tales from the Crypt. But if you like crap, then check out my post on Harry Anderson's first hosting stint on Saturday Night Live back in 1985. He doesn't call women at the gym whores but he does eat a guinea pig.

 

October 31, 1967

"Run up to bed"? It's five in the evening!

Did Brutus ask if something was unethical or dishonest again?

Brutus is doing his Other Mommy pose here. It's not quite the same.

This is honestly what would happen with me. "You and everybody else are exactly the same". Cool, that means that everybody sucks. Great.

Are they having leftovers or is she making a new meal from the leftovers?

 

October 30, 1967

Now this is the kind of stuff I want to see in modern Born Loser. The Veeblefester Corporation is a shady organization that produces a shoddy product and who pollutes our air and water. There is only one man who finds this "unethical...even dishonest" and that man is Brutus Thornapple! So don't expect anything to change.

Because we...ate...it...? I don't know what to tell you, kid.

HR Violation

 

October 28, 1967

Um, just put the box down and get out of the elevator? I don't know how many people Dastardly Throckmorton intends to kill, but I don't think the number is leaving the single digits.

I appreciate Brutus standing up for himself. We're all adults and you need to treat me accordingly. I don't really have anything for this. I like it when Brutus complains about his job and Veeblefester comments on how he's very good at it. I do not like Veeblefester literally abusing an employee. Can't Brutus report Veeblefester to someone?

I Think School Administration Would Put a Stop to That

August 28, 1988

"Nearly impossible..."? So they were able to flush it but it got stuck somewhere between the toilet and the wall? Sounds expensive.

Why can't we do both? Seems perfectly reasonable that, while you're out, you can purchase both school clothes and a Halloween costume. Saves on having to get out again and there should be a better selection right now.

I don't know what Gladys means by the "careful what you wish for" statement so I'm just going to pretend she didn't say it.

 

 

 

 

 

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Phone Woes

October 27, 1967

I wouldn't want to talk to anyone dressed like this either. If you're Spanish, Swiss, German, Dutch, or British and you're offended by how Brutus is dressed, you should be.

I tend to replace my phone every 3 or 4 years so I've never had a phone so old that it barely charges. I rarely use my phone when I am at home. I don't play many mobile games and I tend to use my laptop for browsing so having low battery is not something that happens to me very often. But now I'm just bragging.

Just Order a Damn Burger

October 26, 1967

That looks like a solid boy. Here's the thing, I just automatically think that every dog that's just roaming the streets is deranged and will attack at a moment's notice. Keep your dogs on your own property, people!

from Swan Boy

The chef is going through the storage room knocking over cans and angrily shaking bags of dry goods onto the floor at a loss for what to make for today's chef's choice.

Lucky, Lucky Guy

 

October 25, 1967

Eat shit, hippie!

Why is this guy crossing in the middle of the street without waiting for the cars to pass? You don't know how traffic works? You couldn't walk probably 50 feet to a crosswalk, buddy?

There goes Arnie again, bragging about his perfect wife!

Brutus hopes that tonight is the night he finally chokes and dies on one of Gladys' leftover-tasting meals.

I can't get over that Arnie's wife is named Althea.