Nothing Marriage

Hi & Lois, June 29, 2026

Is...Is Hi & Lois the official comic strip of America250? I guess that makes sense. It's also a good way to only do half a strip. Just slap the America250 logo in the first half of the strip.

And it continues today...

I don't know why Dot and Ditto have to make up an American Revolution battle when there are so many to choose from, but whatever. They're both wearing American Flag Blue so maybe this is a real battle that Big American History is trying to cover up because it was between two American soldiers and about something stupid.

I guess Brutus' lazy Monday has come to an end. Ugh, and Mother Gargle will probably be here all week since it's a holiday week and Ramona doesn't have enough friends in Erie to justify staying there.

Sofa King Lazy

She must not have been looking very hard considering he's just on the couch.

Does Brutus get the whole week off for the Fourth? That must be nice. Mm. But he probably doesn't get paid. Why would Veeblefester pay you if you aren't working?

Not-So-Bad Dream

I went to go see Supergirl on Friday. I enjoyed it just as much as I did Superman. I've read Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow so I knew what I was expecting. There was just the right amount of Lobo. I was worried he'd dominate the movie, but I don't know what I was worried about. Superman handled Guy Gardner, Mister Terrific, and Hawkgirl well.

I will say, when we finally see Kara in the Supergirl uniform, I was very excited. Like, almost giddy.

May 29, 1988

She always hated that tie.

Brutus can only tie bowties. Neckties are completely foreign to Brutus.

But now there's no donuts and you are probably hankering for some donuts right now, aren't you?

It's nice to see Gladys concerned about what happened to Brutus in the dream. I've been in danger in dreams before and my wife never reacted like this to them. I guess she doesn't love me like Gladys loves Brutus.

Shrimp Saturday. No, Wait. Saturday Shrimp.

Salad shrimp is apparently different from regular shrimp so Brutus is going to bring Gladys the wrong shrimp. Men are bad at shopping. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

Shower Power

Shower? But he was cleansed by nature. How much cleaner can he get?

It doesn't look like you are doing anything right now. Take a shower now.

Why Is She Just Standing There Listening to Brutus Complain?

I don't expect diner coffee to be good. Dump cream and sugar in that mug and shut up.

But first get a new cup with regular coffee in it...

My Cousin Eddie

We started seeing Walmart Back to School commercials this past weekend. My wife and I were both like "It's not even July, Walton Goggins!" So anyway, the next time we see Walton Goggins, we're gonna punch him in the face.

I wonder if Veeblefester is one of those people who think teachers get paid year-round for a nine-month job?

Do Brutus and Arnie Work Together Often?

This is Arnie's way of saying that he and Brutus are not in sync, are never in sync, and will never be in sync. No, we're not "in sync". We're more like Backstreet Boys. No, O-Town. No, what was that one group that was kind of made-up? On Nickelodeon? Big Time Rush! We're Big Time Rush.

Monday Quickie

If you've never used your brain before, then you don't need to use AI. It's definitely not gonna make you seem any smarter.

Just Let Brutus Read His...Magazine?

Doesn't it look like Peggy just got done masturbating,
or that someone is currently going down on her?

I completely forgot that a post showcasing Art Sansom's 1949-1951 comic strip Peggy went up yesterday. Between the park and homework and just wanting to vegetate over the summer, things are bit much right now.

Anyway, here are your Sunday comics. I plan on having something new for you on the Fourth of July as well.

May 22, 1988

Where are the grown-ups?! This is really all on the grown-up calling the O'Haras. Who is this guy? Mr. O'Hara's boss? A man from a bank? A friend? Whatever you have to tell Mr. O'Hara must not be very important if you're willing to trust it with Hurricane Hattie.

Oh, yeah. Today's Father's Day. Figlee sounds like a terrible game. Honestly, it sounds like a mobile game and not something you can play on XBox or PlayStation.

And he just opens the comic by screaming in the doorway "Good morning, Pop!"

My Leg Goes to Sleep If I Sit Like That

Big Nate, June 13, 2026

I missed it, but Big Nate dailies have come to an end. Lincoln Peirce has decided to just focus on Sunday strips and, I'm assuming, his popular run of Big Nate graphic novels. On the plus side, Peirce has said he doesn't want reruns to continue in newspapers so that opens up a lot of real estate. Good on you, man.

Baby Blues and Zits will also be winding down over the next year so I'll grab those finales when they happen.

What is Brutus doing? Is he just sitting there with his chin in his hands? Look, I'm not necessarily judging, Mother Gargle is in the wrong, always is, and should die, but Brutus just sitting there like that is weird. At least turn on the TV or something.

Art Sansom's Peggy

Before Chris Welkin, Planeteer, Art Sansom was a bullpen artist for Newspaper Enterprise Association doing fill-in work on other comics. He was tasked, starting around 1949, to write and draw Peggy, about a teenage girl. Or maybe she's early 20s. I'm not sure. Here are some strips from 1949.

And He's Paying $50 to Ruin This Steak

Did the waiter throw the plate down on the table? "Here's your burnt meat, sir. Hope you choke on it!" I bet I could tell my wife about this choice of steak and she'd be like, "Why is he ruining such a good piece of meat?" I don't even like steak and I eat (and cook) better steak than this.

So You Had a Bad Day

"Oh, well, I'll just start over tomorrow. Also, no point in finishing out these last five minutes. See you tomorrow!"

I like the idea of Brutus stumbling and fumbling his way through work and then at 4:55 going "I'm gonna press reset on this day". "Sorry about losing that client and that important paperwork, but if I could just get some fresh air, I know that I can right this ship." Uh-huh, sure.

Pay-Per-Grain

You know it's nine grains because of the giant number "9" printed on the bag. Or it could be "6", but I'm guessing it's written on the bag elsewhere.

I like stuff with grain in it. Remember a few years ago when everyone was like, "You need to have these grains in order to live a good life" and everyone was just "Yes, that sounds right." If these grains were good enough for Ötzi, they are good enough for us modern humans.

Never Going Back to Red Robin

"We have awful food and slow service at home."

The awful food and slow service at home:

I like that Chip doesn't really use his comic strip to get revenge on common inconveniences and small grudges like Beetle Bailey or Shoe, but this does come awfully close.

Hey, He Handled It

How many tea cozies could Fitzbew Corp. need? I think 2% is a gift. I've never understood who Veeblefester is selling to. Is Fitzbew a Walmart-like company that will sell Veeblefester tea cozies? Who knows? It's never explained.

Brutus Came First, Brutus Should Be the Eldest Child

May 15, 1988

Who's on first? Just keep your car for 3000 more dollars! Or lease a car, I don't know how that works but I've heard about it! I'm surprised Ace Motor Sales waited until the last panel to hang up on Brutus. I would've been done at panel 2 or 3.

Here's Mother Gargle not helping again. To be fair, lots of people have raised children, it's not some huge accomplish. The worst people in the world have raised children or have been child-rearing adjacent. How about we wait a few years to see how Wilberforce will turn out?

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It'd Be Like Those Goofy "How To..." Shorts

I actually did a casting call for The Born Loser way back in 2008. You can still read it although all the pictures are broken. The cast wouldn't hold up today. Kathy Bates is probably done with acting whenever Matlock comes to an end; Bruce Willis is riddled with dementia; and Bea Arthur has been dead for 17 years. Not to mention, the two kids I cast are now in their 30s. Who would I cast these days? I don't know. I haven't thought about it. Honestly, it'd probably be animated and look terrible.

I have been reading a biography of John Quincy Adams and he was a Senator for a short time. He was the one that pushed that if the president is going to purchase a giant chunk of land from the French, Congress should do something to codify it to make it legal. But he saw all these other glaring omissions from the Constitution (Wait, so the Vice President can literally murder a guy and still be vice president and president of the Senate?) and when he would bring this stuff up, other Congressmen would just ¯\(°_o)/¯. I wonder how much our country would be different if we just listened to John Quincy Adams.

Classic strips will return when I get the rest of 1967 organized.

He's Gonna Go to the Beach and Gawk At Beefcakes Like His Long-Lost Cousin Teeny

July 31, 1967

I don't think any one is good enough for Teeny. Live your life, Teeny. Live your life.

Although you might want to stay clear of guys named 'Lance'. They seem hit or miss.

What else is he going to do? He's a kid. He's gonna play--play outside, play video games, play, play, play. Now, just drink your glass of ice cold piss lemonade.

Fitzbew II

July 28, 1967

Londa grew up and added an extra "hee" to her laugh? Hey, Brutus, quit hitting on your cousin. There's got to be more to talk about with her than her looks. School, hobbies, what about the rest of the Smoot side of the family.

Why do they give these accounts to Brutus? They've met Brutus, right? Maybe it's just whoever is next on the list, but is that procedure set in stone? Can't you change it?

Reminder: Fitzbew is both an account and Gladys' ex.

Word Wednesday

July 27, 1967

That is some really strong gum. Maybe Brutus is just a very weak man.

I'm confused by the traffic light. Doesn't it seem like the light is making the pedestrians walk into traffic? I guess you don't need to care about that. The joke is the gum.

I'm glad Arnie doesn't have a sly smile on his face like so many of these Brutus revelations recieve. Brutus and Arnie are reliving some long-suppressed childhood traumas here. It's not much but it's a step in the right direction for their healing.

Hey, Brutus? Do you want to make sure your brain is at the peak of its functionality? I know a guy who has taken three (3) cognitive tests in the last year and a half and he's the most mentally fit person I know. Just to warn you, though. You have to know what a clock looks like and how to repeat words and phrases.

A Watched Clock Never Moves

July 26, 1967

Tether tennis? Tether ping-pong? Does this count as winning the game?

Zwat

We've seen Brutus' desk enough times that he does not have a computer on it. I don't even think he has a work computer. I'm guessing they'd know how Brutus would use it and decided to just not give him a computer.