12 Down: First day of the work week, hated by Garfield. 6 letters.

August 8, 1967

The mugger allowed you to turn around. You could've hit him with your umbrella as you turned around. I'm not saying Brutus wouldn't still be mugged, but you never know.

Being mugged was another thing TV and cartoons said was going to happen a lot. Maybe it does still happen a lot, I just clearly look like I have nothing of value on me.

Well, they are only, like, $2 at Walmart and have 80-100 pages so I think I'm fine, thank you.

That does not look like a book. It looks like a piece of paper. Maybe Brutus tears out the pages.

"You're Looking Rundown." "Thanks...?"

August 4, 1967

Wilberforce has to go home at some point. You can hit him when he returns cold and hungry.

I will admit that I like the surreal Looney Tunes-esque stuff Art sometimes does. How did he do that?

Ha ha! It's funny because Brutus has sleep apnea and is slowly dying! Of course Brutus has sleep apnea. Gladys probably has it, too. And Mother Gargle. It's an epidemic.

Cut Those People Out of Your Life

Mother Gargle is a very toxic person. I'm not a fan of hers and wish she'd go away. I don't like the way she tries to manipulate Gladys about her marriage. What kind of behavior is that from your mother? That's when you start cutting people out of your life. "Don't come over anymore, Mama. Just stay in Erie."

Nothing Marriage

Hi & Lois, June 29, 2026

Is...Is Hi & Lois the official comic strip of America250? I guess that makes sense. It's also a good way to only do half a strip. Just slap the America250 logo in the first half of the strip.

And it continues today...

I don't know why Dot and Ditto have to make up an American Revolution battle when there are so many to choose from, but whatever. They're both wearing American Flag Blue so maybe this is a real battle that Big American History is trying to cover up because it was between two American soldiers and about something stupid.

I guess Brutus' lazy Monday has come to an end. Ugh, and Mother Gargle will probably be here all week since it's a holiday week and Ramona doesn't have enough friends in Erie to justify staying there.

Monday Quickie

If you've never used your brain before, then you don't need to use AI. It's definitely not gonna make you seem any smarter.

My Leg Goes to Sleep If I Sit Like That

Big Nate, June 13, 2026

I missed it, but Big Nate dailies have come to an end. Lincoln Peirce has decided to just focus on Sunday strips and, I'm assuming, his popular run of Big Nate graphic novels. On the plus side, Peirce has said he doesn't want reruns to continue in newspapers so that opens up a lot of real estate. Good on you, man.

Baby Blues and Zits will also be winding down over the next year so I'll grab those finales when they happen.

What is Brutus doing? Is he just sitting there with his chin in his hands? Look, I'm not necessarily judging, Mother Gargle is in the wrong, always is, and should die, but Brutus just sitting there like that is weird. At least turn on the TV or something.

Brutus Came First, Brutus Should Be the Eldest Child

May 15, 1988

Who's on first? Just keep your car for 3000 more dollars! Or lease a car, I don't know how that works but I've heard about it! I'm surprised Ace Motor Sales waited until the last panel to hang up on Brutus. I would've been done at panel 2 or 3.

Here's Mother Gargle not helping again. To be fair, lots of people have raised children, it's not some huge accomplish. The worst people in the world have raised children or have been child-rearing adjacent. How about we wait a few years to see how Wilberforce will turn out?

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It'd Be Like Those Goofy "How To..." Shorts

I actually did a casting call for The Born Loser way back in 2008. You can still read it although all the pictures are broken. The cast wouldn't hold up today. Kathy Bates is probably done with acting whenever Matlock comes to an end; Bruce Willis is riddled with dementia; and Bea Arthur has been dead for 17 years. Not to mention, the two kids I cast are now in their 30s. Who would I cast these days? I don't know. I haven't thought about it. Honestly, it'd probably be animated and look terrible.

I have been reading a biography of John Quincy Adams and he was a Senator for a short time. He was the one that pushed that if the president is going to purchase a giant chunk of land from the French, Congress should do something to codify it to make it legal. But he saw all these other glaring omissions from the Constitution (Wait, so the Vice President can literally murder a guy and still be vice president and president of the Senate?) and when he would bring this stuff up, other Congressmen would just ¯\(°_o)/¯. I wonder how much our country would be different if we just listened to John Quincy Adams.

Classic strips will return when I get the rest of 1967 organized.

Boring Day Off

From 2014. Take a look at the, in my opinion, terrible Super Nintendo video game based on the hit syndicated animated series Mighty Max. This should've been just a straight-forward platformer. At least the music is good.

July 12, 1967

Yeah, I guess dance lessons are a "fabulous prize". I mean, you're only answering who the first president was. That shouldn't require an "umm". George Washington and whoever the current president is should be automatic answers regarding presidents.

Yeah, God forbid a man just relax. I don't know why Brutus is home but he's probably wishing he had work today.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Excitement!"

"Well, if it isn't Mrs. Bitch!"

Hail To the Chef

June 12, 1967

This man reminds me of those monster sweatshirts from Leave It To Beaver. You know the ones. They kind of look like Rat Fink stuff.

How much money did Brutus spend on this bit? This bit that no one appreciates.

I guess this is where Gladys gets it. I don't know if Gladys gets her bad cooking or good cooking from Mother Gargle. I like thinking Mother Gargle is a bad cook and knows she's a bad cook, but she's just angry because Brutus just immediately refused.

Close Enough

June 7, 1967

six-seeevenn six-seeevenn

I hope the screen door is all right. It seems like a quality screen door. Will keep people in and out of your house.

Mr. Gretch?

This comic took quite the turn. "Be happy, Mother Gargle, it's Spring! Spring is great! Give me a Shakespearian sonnet!" That would be like me going "I hear it's your birthday! Happy birthday! Here's a passage from Dostoyevsky!"

Can You Even See the Mustache In the Newspaper?

May 26, 1967

I don't know what's going on here. Some kind of sewing machine accident? The internet, if you can trust it, says this is a sheet metal folding machine. I don't see it. Maybe some kind of a pulley system?

If you know what this is, let me know on social media.

Instead of sporting his typical toothbrush mustache, Brutus has opted to comb his mustache to the side. Or at least, I think that's what happened. Brutus has always had a mustache so I don't know why he considers it "something new". He just combed it.

The Thornapples All Live In a Yellow Submarine Apparently

May 11, 1967

Does only Wilberforce know the names of his friends? Harry, Leroy are actual names "Weakeyes" and "Noodle-Nose" aren't even nicknames, they're just insults.

And who is who?!

Does...Does Brutus really believe this about himself? Brutus would be the first to admit that he is none of these things. "I can talk bad about myself, but you can't! You don't have that right!!"

Witch Hat Hair Wednesday

The humidity makes your hair do that? Ohio must be at 100% humidity 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

At least Mother Gargle has hair to do something with, Brutus. Ha! Bald burn!

Sunday Is for Rest

January 31, 1988

You can't really cut Brutus out of your will. Whatever Gladys inherits would just become Brutus'. If Mother Gargle wants to cut Brutus out, she'd have to cut Gladys out as well. Although I do think Mother Gargle is that petty so I guess it's safe to be cautious.

A simple signed letter from Winston Churchill could fetch about $800-$2000, so not really the fortune Brutus is thinking. Now if Churchill wrote to Mother Gargle about how delightful Joseph Stalin and Franklin Roosevelt were during the Tehran Conference then that letter could fetch upwards of $50,000.

Had Mother Gargle mailed that letter, it could've turned the tide of World War II...

Brutus was originally planning to get up at 11!? I went to bed at one last night was still up by 8:30. Did Brutus really drug himself up or something? What time was Gladys up and why can't she help with the "chores"?

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I'm Glad to See Brutus' Tour Includes the Watercooler

April 21, 1967

What is Brutus watering? Maybe he's hosing something off like the side of the garage or something. He's just pointing that hose straight ahead. What needs watering is on the ground, guy.

Like that'll stop me. I'll just turn the water back on and spray mother-in-law when your back in turned. *mutters*Waterboard the old bag...

I'm tagging this Mother Gargle even though she's still in her first form here. I'm sure the old witch will show up soon. 🧙‍♀️

"Welcome to work. I hope you know how..."

Brutus, you don't have to make snide jokes and puns about the job. Let it crush this new guy's spirit on its own. It knows what it's doing.

Christmas Eve Eve Quickies

from the Topeka Capital-Journal

I don't have an opinion on this. I live just far enough away that the economic impact probably won't be felt and while I don't agree with taxpayers footing the bill for 70% of the cost of the stadium, I understand how big of a boon this will be for Wyandotte and Johnson counties. I'm just going to love seeing how much more of a clusterfuck K-10, I-435, and I-70 will become because they are already absolutely terrible to drive on.

The pulled 60 Minutes segment on CECOT and the Trump administration sending deportees there can be viewed here.

February 7, 1967

What are the odds the ball would land in Brutus' bowl of corn flakes? Pretty good if you're The Born Loser.

Brutus strikes me as a 2X man so I guess, Double extra lard.

I'm glad Brutus acknowledged he only wears red sweaters and has a closet full of them.

Are you ready for some football?

Jersey State of Mind

January 28, 1967

Ha! She's probably laughing at the card game I lost this evening.

Ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! She's probably laughing at my tiny penis.

Charge it! She's clearly paying for dinner with a strapping young man who has a big penis and knows how to play cards.

I don't really see how the laughter leads to "Charge it!" Is she talking to the salesman? "This dress seems to be rather expensive." "But it looks so good on you. You know, if you pay with credit, you can take it home today and show your husband how good it looks on you. Then he'll beg you to keep it. And even if not, it will already be processed and too late to return." *both laugh* "Charge it!"

I don't know why Brutus is telling Mother Gargle where he's going. She doesn't care. He could tell her he was going to walk off the edge of Echo Cliff/Point and she would just continue to stare into her mug.

Gladys has that look on her face because Gladys knows that Brutus isn't allowed back in New Jersey.

Sunday Mid-Afternoon Fights

September 6, 1987

Veeblefester should put his cigar out on Brutus. I don't condone that kind of violence but I'll make an exception this one time.

Is Brutus stalking Veeblefester or did Brutus just happen to wander into the same nice restaurant Veeblefester was eating at?

Okay, first of all, shut up. If Gladys has a problem with the way Brutus is treating her, then she can talk to Brutus about it. Communication is the most important thing in a marriage. Second, what's this about being treated like a queen? What even is that anymore? It's 2025. Third, you know what's really rude? Coming into someone else's house and chastising them over something you aren't a part of and then not even allowing them to explain themselves.

"How dare you yawn..." Well, ya borin' me!

"Missouri John" Thomas went on a shooting spree at two ranches near Maple Hill, Kansas, wounding four and killing 1 because his love was spurned. If you would like to support me or this website, you can click the support page at the top.

As Long As It's Not Shirley Jackson's 'The Lottery'

January 14, 1967

It appears that Brutus is reading an original children's story created by Art Sansom. I did a quick search the only thing that came up for "Hoppy and Torty" was Roald Dahl's Esio Trot and a retelling of the Tortoise and the Hare from 2024 that looks suspiciously like AI. Anyway, I appreciate creating your own thing especially for what's a throwaway joke.

I now also know too much about hobgoblins.

Finally, some Mother Gargle. We've been threatened with her presence this Thanksgiving for nearly three weeks. And yes, just like those cheap scratch-off ones because obviously I'm not living in the lap of luxury, but won about $10 that I will use to just buy more scratch-off tickets where I win another $10 that I will use to just buy more scratch-off tickets where I win another $10...