Witch Hat Hair Wednesday

The humidity makes your hair do that? Ohio must be at 100% humidity 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

At least Mother Gargle has hair to do something with, Brutus. Ha! Bald burn!

I Also Suggest Shaving Your Mustache

March 20, 1967

Sigh. The good ol' days when your bosses could just give you a raise. "Hey, I like the cut of your jib, have an extra $2.50 a week!" Now your raises have to be approved and go through payroll and you just get a raise like everybody else--it's not based on quality of work or popularity at all. Not that I'm popular at work but I'm there everyday and I'm good at my job. I feel that's worth an extra $2.50 a week!

Do it Brutus! You shave those two? Three? hairs on your head! I can't imagine it's fun drawing them. "Gotta make sure this line and squiggle are there, otherwise how will you know that's Brutus?"

I've thought about shaving my head. I don't think I'd look good. Of course, I already think I'm pretty ghastly already, but at least I have hair.

The Mere Fact You Call It Hair Tonic Tells Me It's Not Going to Work

You may have saw today that Scott Adams, creator of the comic strip Dilbert, passed away from prostate cancer today at the age of 68. Dilbert had been kicked out of syndication due to Adams' bigoted rhetoric back in 2023 but was still creating Dilbert as a webcomic. Despite how terrible of a person Adams turned out to be, we celebrate comic strips here and you can't deny that Dilbert was a fairly huge phenomenon back in the mid- to late 1990s. Besides the treasury collections of the comic, there were motivational books, self-help books, generic business books, plus a TV series that ran on UPN from January 1999 until June 2000.

The comic strip debuted on April 16, 1989 and originally focused on Dilbert and Dogbert. Dilbert was an engineer creating inventions and seemingly wanting to take over the world. The comic soon changed focus to Dilbert at work in an office building and the comic satirized workplaces, technology, and corporate culture which made people take notice turning Dilbert into one of the most popular strips in the country, especially after Calvin and Hobbes and The Far Side came to an end.

Dilbert, April 16, 1989

Dilbert, December 19, 2010

February 24, 1967

Speaking of corporate culture, 1960s corporate culture was wild, man! You can't do this nowadays, unless you're Elon Musk.

Brutus is shooting beans out of a straw in case you were wondering what weapon he had.

So, Gladys is dieting for the new year and Brutus is going to grow some hair back. Look, I'm all for bettering yourself when a new year comes around, but why is it always something physical people choose? You should work on what's inside first.

Thursday Quickies

January 19, 1967

The first name mentioned is Chiang Kai-Shek? Then Yul Brynner? Ok.

Quit worrying about your bald head and work on yourself, Brutus.

Yeah, you're not getting any bonuses this year. Time to take some money to the track or something. Start posting tasteful nudes on social media and linking a Venmo.

Don't take not getting a bonus personally, Brutus. Very few employees get bonuses anymore.

THAIRsday

December 20, 1966

I don't think they wanted to get rid of "us", I think they wanted to get rid of Brutus.

Is Brutus using some kind of hair-growth supplement? Brutus should just embrace his baldness, but Gladys and Mother Gargle probably shame him about it all the time.

Idea Man

December 14, 1966

Oh. You're bald. And not in an attractive way... I love how this strip is funny on multiple levels. First, her sneezing the toupee off. Next, her immediately becoming disgusted and leaving. Then, the toupee landing in the punch. This is all great. *chef's kiss*

"I'm sorry that you feel like I am ignoring you and shooting down all your ideas. Would you like to make a formal complaint? Just put it in here...IT'S A TRASH CAN!"

Veeblefester needs to remind Brutus that his job isn't to come up with ideas. His job is to make money for the company, and he can barely do that.

One Last Hair

September 10, 1966

Just wipe the mustard off with a napkin. It doesn't require becoming a thorn in the hot dog stand guy's side. Also, you'd get less wet--although I guess you would've had to get out in the rain to order and get the hot dogs.

There is someone in the backseat of the car, right?

"It's okay, Dad, you just talk to your hair. We don't mind."

I've often wondered if I would just shave my head or just go bald naturally whenever I start to lose my hair. I guess it depends on how I look. I mean, Brutus doesn't look silly with his bald head. Maybe it's because he doesn't have a forehead. The bridge of his nose just becomes his skull. My head doesn't do that.

Don't forget to follow me on social media which is linking above in the About page. You can see some photos from my tour this weekend of our local abandoned Security Benefit Clock Tower which has sat abandoned since 2004.

🠄This 'Help' was scrawled on the wall of the Security Benefit building in some sort of once-viscous brownish liquid that I hope was once ketchup and not, you know, poop.

Look Good, Feel Good

July 15, 1966

It's good to know that men have been the worst since the beginning of time. I'd watch your back, Eve. Adam is clearly up to something. He's going to ruin paradise for everyone!

I'm glad that Gladys feels better about herself, I wish we could see the difference. I guess she just keeps the same style, just cuts off the split-ends. Having a clean and fresh haircut does feel good, when you think about it.

Hair-Brained

May 4, 1966

I don't think there's ever been a time where people wanted to hear criticism of how they do things. Especially when you are the one in charge. I don't know why people they would know better than Birdie Tebbets, whose life was baseball for 30 years. Yes, George "Birdie" Tebbets was a real person! He was a catcher who was very good at directing the pitchers. Tebbets played from 1936 until 1952 and then managed from 1954 until 1966. I don't know, maybe what this guy said sunk it considering Tebbets would retire from the Cleveland Indians after the 1966 season. He would continue being a scout for various teams until his retirement in 1997. Birdie Tebbets would pass away in 1999 at 86.

I guess we're just ignoring all of Kewpie's fur that is on his head and focusing on the two longer hairs that I always figured were oddly placed eyelashes/eyebrows.

Why are they just staring at Kewpie?

Bald Is Beautiful

March 30, 1966

So is Rocky in there? Or is Rocky so sure that Detective Not-Yet-Brutus won't get backup and actually do anything? At first I thought it was the moon rising, but then I realized it's the sun going down and the moon appearing later.

Is he at the docks?

I swear to God if Brutus ordered something from Hims...

Brutus, you look fine. I'd actually recommend you just shave whatever hair you do have. You'd look like...well, I don't want to say the name of one of the handsome famous bald men...

Hair

September 29, 1965

"Does that count?" he turns to the referees. "No? Dang it."

Lester's career is probably over considering it looks like he's barely wearing any protection.

I can think of what the Thornapples can cut in order to save about $30 a month. Brutus' haircut. At this point, you can just take care of your hair yourself.

One Non-Blonde

September 22, 1965

Classic ketchup bit. One of the things I love about these older strips is how angry everybody gets. They're like George Costanza when he's told he should go to anger management. "Having some trouble with the ketchup?" "Yes, probably because the WHOLE UNIVERSE IS AGAINST ME!!!"

I'm assuming Ms. Preen edited her SnapChat avatar and then felt like she needed to look exactly like that. Do typical readers of The Born Loser know that avatar is different from profile picture? I feel this could lead to confusion. Older audiences should really stick to Blondie, Hi & Lois, Beetle Bailey, or strips geared toward them like Pluggers or a soap opera strip.

Saturday Quickies

June 18, 1965

"Well, this one's dead. Next!"

But why does he need it? It probably shriveled into nothing due to lack of use.

Wednesday Quickies

June 4, 1977

Ok, that's great. Just mop the floor, Agnes.

I'm sure Agnes is a fine housekeeper, but the smoking would bother me. I know it's the '70s and smoking was still healthy but still...

What about the nine(?) hairs around his head? Do they have more body and sheen, too?

Is Brutus just looking at himself in the mirror and smiling? Cut that out!

Plus, She Got to Eat a Bag of Chips

February 17, 1976

It's a recording, Brutus. They can't hear you.

Who's calling the Void Phone at this time of day?

Why is her hair even up? I've been doing this for eleventy-billion years and have seen thousands of Born Loser comics and I have never seen her hair up. And we will probably never see it up again.

It's like if Dennis the Menace finally started combing down the cowlick that sticks up on the back of his head.

She Forgot Because It Was the Fourth

August 9, 1974

Ugh, I can't believe Brutus used to wear that toupee places. At least it's going to be knocked off by that wave and he won't have it anymore.

Gladys is laughing because he looks stupid with that toupee and is about to get pulled out with the undercurrent and die.

No! No. No-no-no-no-no-no-no. Wilberforce's birthday was not yesterday. Yesterday was the Fourth of July. The comic was about that. Nowhere does it mention Wilberforce's birthday. "But, Brian," I hear you say "a date can be two things." Not in this case. They talked about the Fourth of July in yesterday's comic strip so that is all they did yesterday.

Summer Days

April 15, 1974

This is how my wife when I start in on role playing. "You're family does not approve of me..." "Are you okay, Brian? Is this a bit?"

Have you met Mother Gargle? She would definitely approve of a dashing millionaire playboy wooing her daughter over Brutus any day. "You're rich? Here's my daughter. Do whatever you want with her!"

You think vacations just grow on trees, kid?

"No-cation? Gee, Pop, can't we even go to a museum or the zoo or something?" "Of course not. Have you seen the economy?"

Thursday Quickies

March 11, 1974

Brutus just growing out that one hair that's on top of his head? What about the hair on the back of his head? I feel that would grow better. It would still look awful on his but it would grow better.

I talk to myself all the time. It's to sort out the thoughts in my head. I've also been posting commentary about the comic strip The Born Loser online for about 15 years to about 20 people. That's almost like talking to myself.

If your boss touches you like this, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

Well, That's the First Problem

November 14, 1973

I find it interesting that Gladys greets Brutus at the door. I vaguely remember in TV shows where the wife would meet the husband at the door. I think June Cleaver did it quite often. I think even Lucy did it a few times. I just think it's interesting and kind of weird considering we're in 1973/2023 right now and she still does it.

At least Brutus doesn't come home with a toupee anymore.

Props to these men for drowning their sorrows in coffee and not some sort of alcohol. Although I guess it could be early in the morning and the bars just aren't open yet.

His Existence Is What's Wrong

October 30, 1973

Everyone knows Brutus is bald. Then why is he wearing that toupee?

How do you know she's mad, Brutus? She always looks like that.