I Like Squirrels Too

October 18, 1967

So a loud "tick-tock" is fine, but a loud "tock-tick" is too much? Ok.

Yeah, that'll happen. It's not Brutus' fault. Gladys must still be mad from yesterday.

Kewpie Doesn't Sleep In a Doghouse

October 17, 1967

Do not anger the gods, Brutus. I don't think you can afford the punishment.

Apparently, "burning the candle at both ends" once meant wasting too much money. See, candles were expensive so burning the candle at both ends would use the candle up faster. It got its modern meaning, being overworked and exhausted, in 1920.

Why is Brutus two hours late without calling? He doesn't even seem to be explaining what happened. He's clearly trying to keep something from Gladys and without any hint as to what, I'm just going to assume the worst: He went to his secret storage unit to bask in the glow of his Funko Pop collection.

Early to Rise

October 16, 1967

Is Brutus just late? He doesn't seem drunk or anything. How about Brutus just tell Gladys the truth about what goes on during the Veeblefester Tea Cozy Quarterly Office Party?

It's weird starting a new you on September 28. You should start that stuff on October 1 or January 1 or in 2030.

It looks pretty mid-day for only being 6:30 in the morning!

 

 

 

 

 

I posted the first chapter of Vagabond Girl, the novel I finished a couple years ago, on my Tumblr I haven't used in over ten years. I hope you find it interesting. I plan on posting chapters every Monday and Thursday through October to see if there's any interest.

Stop Saying 'Tummy'!

August 14, 1988

I could see how someone who's never bowled would think getting three strikes is bad. Three strikes is typically a bad thing in other games. Of course, it seems like Brutus didn't explain the rules. He just put a bowling ball in Gladys' hands.

I apologize that after a week off we return with new comics and this gross display of affection. Butterflies in your stomach and feeling warm all over? It is a Sunday!

I believe there's a difference between a crush, liking someone romantically, and love. I'd go into detail about it, but that's not why you're here. You're here to see me say Wilberforce's first encounter with romance was actually the flu or maybe gas.

 

 

 

 

 

If you would like to support me or this website, you can throw some money at the About page.

The View from the Top

August 7, 1988

I don't know if operating a telephone was more complicated now or back then. Why do the Thornapples have a phone, an answering machine, an unlisted number, and an answering service? Seems like a lot of wasted money. The Thornapples, or at least Brutus, really want people to call them.

Hey, Veeblefester, think of how much money you'd save if you had everyone work from home and got rid of the building. I know that's not cool to think about these days as developers, landlords, and Realtors are people too, but overhead can be expensive.

 

 

 

 

 

I don't have any overhead, but if you enjoy reading these posts, you can throw some money at the About page.

All the Children Are Hungover

October 14, 1967

This kind of stuff doesn't happen these days because good morning songs aren't on any standardized tests.

I feel ya, Brutus. I have the same important decisions. What show do I rewatch? Seinfeld, Golden Girls, Bob's Burgers, King of the Hill, The Office, Community, Superstore, Pushing Daisies? Have I forgotten any? There are others I'd rewatch, but I'm still in the process of convincing my wife we need to watch them.

Dreams of Our Brutus

October 13, 1967

Brutus has worked for Veeblefester for 27 years?!! Brutus absolutely deserves a raise! And look, I am fine with getting praise and accolades for the work that I do, but I also want that praise and accolades to become money.

What kind of nightmares is Brutus having? My wildest nightmares are, like, when I'm falling or something. Or it's some weird work/fun combination making work seems like garbage and fun seem like work.

And I'm just going to say it but I think this is the most depressing thing I've ever seen Brutus say.

Voicemail-Ail-Ail!

I'm seeing previews for a new show starting this fall on NBC. Line of Fire. I don't care what it is about. I won't watch it, because it looks to be about government agents and the government sucks right now and we need to acknowledge it, not create propaganda about it.

Anyway, the main character says she won't be home and her husband(?) says "So this must be how Lois Lane feels" and she responds "I love you, Lois." What the hell does that mean? Do the writers not understand Lois Lane? Lois Lane is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author who has traveled around the world to hostile territories and war zones. Lois Lane does not just stay home waiting for Clark/Superman to get home from his adventures.

October 12, 1967

Babies/toddlers suck. Was that an ice cream cone he shoved in Brutus' face?

I hate when people take jerk kids' sides. Your kid is a jerk, how about you deal with it because they become society's problem?

And now Brutus has to ride the bus with these people!

I guess Wilberforce and Butch Kapinski have made amends? Why can't Wilberforce pay Hurricane Hattie for protection? Maybe she doesn't do that. She's more of a grifter, I guess.

"Franklin has never met Spike!" Spike would wipe the floor with our 32nd president. Spike doesn't care about his polio. He'll show that guy a day of infamy.

We haven't seen Echo Glen Point since the end of 2024. As usual, it's out of order. I don't know how. Don't worry about it. Natural phenomenons go on the fritz all the time.

The Soup of Yesterday

October 11, 1967

Welp, Gladys is dead.

I've often wondered if something could get stuck in the elevator and hoisted into the air. Elevators have two sets of doors, but only one set goes with the elevator. I guess stuff can get stuck but modern elevators have safeguards that are supposed stop the elevator if it senses something in the way. But this is pre-1970 so Gladys better start taking off that coat or dress or whatever or start praying it tears away.

What's going on with this guy's face? What's his deal?

Cool. Reheated...what's a soup that's not really good the next day?...potato soup or maybe a clam bisque? To tell you the truth, I looked up what soups don't hold up after a day and got several answers, mainly dairy based soups and seafood. But when I dove deeper, nearly everything said they'd be fine. Anyway, great diner as always.

Cloudy With a Chance of Depression

We occasionally see Brutus walking to (or from, I guess) work and I guess it's him walking from the bus stop. Judging by what Brutus is talking about, it must not have been a good day at work.

My Dinner With Rancid

Back in 2019, I decided to stop commenting on The Born Loser. The reason was wanting to focus on writing and thinking the idea had run its course. On that part, I was correct. Due to a death in the family, I came into dozens of The Born Loser strips from 1977 until 2003 so I made my last "Losers Are Made, Not Born" (as I called this thing at the time) focused on those.

I brought The Born Loser back in November of 2020 because I had too much time on my hands, I was depressed, and I hadn't written anything in about six months and thought this would help. I also didn't use the stupid title as I felt I had moved on from outright attacking the comic and treating it more with respect. It's something I enjoy doing. I hopefully provide some insight, or some chuckles, or just general entertainment. I hope those of you who are regulars enjoy the comics, the commentary, and the other stuff I occasionally do on this site.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can throw some money at the links in my About page.

 

July 31, 1988

I can get behind Shakespeare not being real or Shakespeare just being the person the writing was attributed to while someone else (or numerous someone else's) did the work. But I refuse to believe Queen Elizabeth I was a man. Apparently that myth came about around in the 1800s when Thomas Keble recorded that during renovations, the skeleton of a 9-year-old girl were found in a coffin. This theory was popularized by Dracula novelist Bram Stoker when he claimed the skeleton was Queen Elizabeth and provided an explanation for why the queen never married or had children. The theory goes that Elizabeth died suddenly and, to hide that fact from Henry VIII, a local boy was chosen to pose as the future queen. The "Bisley Boy" scenario has never been taken seriously and has always been a fringe conspiracy. But in 1985, a study was published Queen Elizabeth I: A case of testicular feminization? which posits that Queen Elizabeth was a hermaphrodite. The above comic is from 1988 so it's possible Art got wind of that article at some point and eventually wrote a comic about it. I don't believe that either, but I understand how fun it is to troll people about this stuff.

Mm. I don't care if I am eating dinner with my boss, I don't want to talk about work during my time off. I certainly don't want to talk about my boss to my boss. If I had to do that, I'll just stick to drinking coffee, thank you.

Season Opener

Winsor McCay was a pioneer in both animation and comic strips, creating the beloved Little Nemo In Slumberland which lasted 11 years from 1905 to 1914 and 1924 to 1926, but his longest-running comic was Dreams of the Rarebit Fiend which lasted 1904 to 1913 and, as Rarebit Reveries, from 1923 to 1925 and featured different people having nightmares because they ate rabbit. You can see a small collection of Rarebit Fiend and a sample of McKay's first popular comic Little Sammy Sneeze here.

October 10, 1967

I agree. Those signs should either already be up or installed while the library is closed. This guy doesn't even look like he works for the library.

And there's another game on, with all that other crap, after this one! Yay, sportsball!

My mom would watch sports and whenever we'd go to my Grandma's, my uncle would dominate the TV with his sports. The fact that I was around sports so much as a kid yet never got into them I think definitely says more about sports than it does me.

And Is He Holding the Controller Like a Remote?

What if Elvis Presley was a rooster?

One of my favorite movies growing up, Rock-A-Doodle reimagines the story of Chanticleer. A group of animals try to find Chanticleer in the Big City to bring him home so he can wake up the sun and stop the endless rain.

Let's just say this movie is definitely not like the Don Bluth movies that came before this one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

October 9, 1967

Teeny is cooking? Oh, what a day! Is she boiling just the meat or the entire hamburger? Those patties are probably just going to fall apart when she takes them out of the pot. How did Gladys and Wilberforce get out this dinner?

Is Wilberforce playing a golf game? What game has you try for the lowest score? I'll admit that I'm not up-to-date on what games kids play these days, but "the lowest score wins"?

Golden Boy

In 1903, plans were made for a railroad to be built from Topeka, Kansas to Council Grove. As it became clear that this railroad probably wouldn't get built, its lines became extended and even more plans were made in hope of securing funding.

The Topeka, Eskridge & Council Grove Railroad.

 

 

 

 

October 7, 1967

"We'll be dead soon anyway..."

I guess the island is pretty sound. It's been there long enough to have pretty large palm tree on it. And these people seem unbothered by being here on this island so maybe I shouldn't be concerned.

Golden touch my ass. Veeblefester was born into wealth. He has other people to deal with his money. That's literally the only thing I actually like about Veeblefester is that he's an old school rich person and doesn't actively use his money to make everyone's lives worse unlike just about every other rich person out there.

What Shape? Lower Case B? Lower Case D if Facing to the Left

Someone wants to change time and fix the DC Universe. They want to make everything perfect, even if that means killing those who try to stop them and creating more than one world!

Who is behind Zero Hour: Crisis In Time? My first major crossover after starting to read comics, and a two-part retrospective dedicated to my father-in-law.

Part One & Part Two

 

 

October 6, 1967

Has Teeny's long-haired doofus boyfriend always been called Harold? Eh, who cares? He'll probably get sent to Vietnam in six months or so, so he won't be Teeny's problem anymore.

What should Teeny be "down with"? I'm gonna go with sales tax.

 

That doesn't sound like a gym. They'll usually take your money no matter what. I'm guessing Brutus didn't pass their vibe check.

Decision 2026

 

In 1888, H.D. Booge bought some land hoping to turn it into a suburb of Topeka, Kansas. This was just one of many business ventures he would come up with. Although you might consider the term "business venture" a nicer way of saying "scam".

Take a look at Chicago Heights and several other of Booge's money-making attempts.

 

 

 

October 5, 1967

Speech disorders are no laughing matter! If this guy is employed by a company, then good on that company for hiring someone with a speech impediment that makes singing Italian stereotype songs difficult. If he's self-employed, does he still make decent money? Is it a lot of pity fares?

Mm. So Brutus is still indecisive. This will not do. Not do at all.

I feel Brutus goes out of his way in order to not make a decision. You can't be blamed and things can't be your fault if things just happen!

A Day of Rest

Calvin gets a new neighbor just in time for Christmas. As Calvin becomes friends with Erin and her daughter Lillian, Calvin's favorite teacher, Mr. Faddis, gets hired to be Santa Claus for his building. But both Calvin and Erin become suspects when Mr. Faddis is found murdered.

Who killed Mr. Faddis? The Fifth Floor.

 

 

October 4, 1967

All that fuss because Wilberforce has to write a thank you note? He probably could've gotten that letter written in the time it took him to struggle, be picked up, and carried to the writing desk.

Someone has sapped the soul completely out of today's strip!

It's actually just a weird glitch where the black doesn't come through.

I'm not a baseball person but this is one of the many appropriate ways to celebrate Labor Day. As long as you are not working, then you are doing it appropriately. I just hope your chair is more comfortable than Brutus' looks.

Brilliant Strategy, Brutus--Words Have No Meaning

July 24, 1988

Why couldn't the bank guy give Brutus the $100? Or why didn't Brutus just get the money from inside the bank? You would think the ATM would just not work if it were out of cash. Seems very inconvenient.

Brutus' PIN is 9999 so if you find his card, that's his code. Honestly, he probably has it written on the card.

Hey! Brutus has another friend! I don't think we've seen this guy before or since, but he's out there. I bet this was one of the last times 'beer' is mentioned in The Born Loser. I think Chip began using the more kid-friendly 'drink' shortly after 2020. A lot of things changed (or should've changed) after 2020.

 

 

 

 

 

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Oh, What Heights We'll Hit...

October 3, 1967

I've been wondering this for nearly 19 years. Brutus doesn't seem particularly good at golf yet he plays it constantly. I guess he could just be playing because it's an activity that gets him outside, but still...

Is Wilberforce watching cartoons on Tubi or MeTV, because no one airs old Saturday morning cartoons anymore. And is it me or is Wilberforce too enthralled with Bugs Bunny's antics with Elmer Fudd? Maybe it's one of the cartoons where Bugs cross-dresses and it's opening up some stuff in Wilberforce.

More Than Raw

October 2, 1967

Don't be a hero, Brutus. Instead of trying to say something tough, Brutus should've done something while the robber had the gun tucked under his arm. I mean, I don't know if that's something I would do, but Brutus was willing to do this, so why not just attack?

It's a three-day weekend, Brutus can afford to have tummy bubbles from diner seafood this weekend.

I barely trust this diner with making my chicken fried steak, why would I trust it with sushi?

Wouldn't Everything Be Blurry Before Putting On Your Glasses Anyway?

September 30, 1967

Rake. Rake. Rake.

I can't believe we're missing nearly half a month of The Born Loser for September 1967. I'm sure I could find them, but just a quick search didn't give me what I needed. I'll need to try to find them and maybe put them as a special post or something.

One thing I did find was this ad for The Born Loser being added to some newspaper in 1997. I feel like if your newspaper didn't already have Frank and Ernest or The Born Loser by 1997, then maybe your readers don't really need them.

Brutus Thornapple a precursor to Homer Simpson? That's a bold statement. I wouldn't go that far. Brutus and Homer are not similar at all. Although I think you could argue that today's Brutus is more like Homer because that has been our baseline for pop culture fathers for 40 years.

"I went to the doctor today...and he did everything he could but...I am in perfect health." There's got to be a better way to open this conversation than making me worried that Uncle Ted is going blind. Love and care for your eyes, people!