Tuesday Shorts

August 30, 1967

Why are we painting chairs? That chair is clearly has fabric on it and shouldn't be painted at all.

They don't cancel your card for spending money. They cancel it for not paying. That'll happen in a couple months.

Bad Leftovers Are the Worst

August 29, 1967

Ah, the sixties, when you maybe actually wanted to talk to someone on the phone because you probably kind of liked them. Running upstairs, making sure you got to the phone. Wait. Why were phones a good idea again?

I can't believe Brutus just laid there as the phone rang loudly in his ear. I would've thrown it across the room, so I might as well just answer the damn thing.

This is what we did for dinner last night. Not ham loaf, leftovers. Although the leftovers did have ham.

Geez, Gladys seems really happy about these leftovers.

Here's Your Random Soda

I don't know if you've noticed but I've been scarce on social media the last week or so. Partly because I started back at work so I'm there for 7+ hours a day, but mostly because social media has been boring and it hasn't been keeping my interest. Honestly, if I didn't have to post links to my website every day to keep readership up, I'd just drift away from social media and spend time doing other things. Between work, school, the park, writing, and reading, I have plenty of crap going on in my life. I don't need social media.

July 3, 1988

So let me get this straight. Absolutely no one had ever been hit on the head by anything until 1666? I find that hard to believe. In reality, even if Titus Thornapple had been hit by the apple, was Titus Thornapple a scientist? Isaac Newton only started looking into what would become gravity because he was isolating because of the plague and had a lot of time on his hands, and because he asked questions because he's a scientist!

I guess Newton witnessed this apple falling, but didn't decide to do any research until six years later.
Friend: "Isaac, what you working on?"
Newton: *sucking on some mercury* "Six years ago I watched this apple fall and nearly bean a guy on the noggin and it gave me an idea..."

Mother Gargle takes the bus from Cleveland to Erie? That sounds terrible. I just figured she drove.

Oh, boy. A watered-down soda, no change, and Mother Gargle is $50 richer. What a crappy Sunday.

Grmblmxf Saturday

August 28, 1967

What is Gladys taking out of the oven? A beehive?

And where do you get olives that size? I want one.

Wasp nests just don't appear overnight. That thing has been there for days. It can wait a couple more hours.

I like putting my feet up as well. I didn't even know Brutus' green chair was a recliner. Maybe it's only a recliner when the story calls for it.

Jolly Ice Cream Dude?

August 26, 1967

The Born Loser takes place in a world where our conscience angels and demons actually exist, are tangible, and can interfere with our lives. That doesn't seem...great.

How does Brutus decide when to wear his toupee? He seems to just do it randomly.

Makes sense. I just assume ice cream from the ice cream truck is, like, $16 now. I rarely got to peruse the ice cream truck when I was a kid. We was po' and scraping together even a couple bucks was sometimes a lesson in futility.

I'm just going to assume that today's comic is a tie-in with the horror/slasher movie Ice Cream Man (now in theaters!) so tomorrows comic is going to be quite a shock to people.

Shrimp of the Day

August 25, 1967

How come there are all these instruments lying around? We've seen Brutus play a cello before, but also bagpipes, another cello, a saxophone, a tuba, yet another cello, a violin, more bagpipes, and another tuba. Where are all these instruments coming from?

And with only a couple of exceptions, he can seemingly play them all.

And you can't make the shrimp hot? You can't deep-fry them? I don't know why I question this diner. They are terrible and no one should eat here.

Mother Gargle Haters Club

August 24, 1967

If the creamed codfish looks like the search images, it looks like lumps of potatoes. I'm not a seafood guy so I would never eat creamed codfish and jelly sandwiches. I feel like Wilberforce is trying to throw up.

Where'd they get malteds?

"Is your mother-in-law really all that annoying?" Yes! Ramona Gargle is terrible! She first showed up for my website way back in March 2008 and she has been getting worse every day since. I will always be on Brutus' side when it comes to hating Mother Gargle.

Do You Still Get Gum?

August 23, 1967

The one damn part of the speech everybody should know.

I bet if you told someone in 1967 that there would be a Broadway musical about Alexander Hamilton starring a bunch of minorities, they'd probably be like "Alexander Hamilton? Which one was he? Oh! The duel guy!"

I discovered a few weeks ago and got pissed off at learning that trading cards are kind of making a comeback but they are just online. So I pay for them but I don't own them? That's some stupid NFT bullshit. No, sir, I don't like it.

I'm Starting to Think That Veeblefester Is Not That Great of a Boss

August 22, 1967

I like older music so I understand Brutus' frustration here. He's just a middle-aged man who likes waltzes. Is that such a crime? No need to call him a "golden-ager".

I mean, dear lord, Brutus is very excited for the Waltz-time portion of this program.

At least Veeblefester talks. He doesn't just sit there and fall asleep while several people talk beside and behind him like someone else I know.

Even RFKJr is snoozing a bit...

Requiem for a Rainy Sunday

June 26, 1988

Brutus' appendix burst and he died of sepsis so Brutus has been wandering around as a ghost since 1988. Why Brutus continues to live his life and go to work when he's a ghost is something that demands attention though.

Glad to see Gladys driving Brutus to the hospital. An ambulance isn't your own personal taxi to the hospital...wait...

 

We've had enough rain around here. I don't know how it's been in Ohio but I swear it's practically rained everyday here in Kansas. I'm certain everything is fine and we don't need to worry about anything.

 

 

 

 

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You're Not Special

August 21, 1967

This happens a lot.

"Why are you telling me? The guy you should be telling--the one with the giant bag, I mean, who brings a large bag into a bank?--is next up in line!"

This is like those fake ads for crap at the bottom of websites where it's like, "90% of people have this debilitating disease" and it's click-bait to tell you about warts or something. Peanut butter gets stuck to the roof of your mouth, that's its whole thing. It's not some rare occurrence.

We Buy Universal Remotes Just In Case

August 19, 1967

Note the date. Note the date.

Brutus and Gladys sleep in separate beds? Was that something the syndicate/newspapers said should happen or is it because that's what they did in TV shows. Although Darren and Samantha Stevens had been sharing a bed on Bewitched since at least 1964.

"How can you not know how to turn on the TV without the remote. Goddamn, what a moron!" you may be thinking. But let me tell you this: Neither of my TVs have buttons on them to do anything manually on the TV so blame bad UX, not Wilberforce.

Thursday Slog

I think one of the things I hate about Trump the most--though not as much as the stupidity, lies, hatred of people he was elected to serve, and corruption--is this face. It's a face he uses when he seems proud of something (although he has done nothing to be proud of). To me, all it looks like is the face a toddler makes when he shits his pants or a smug asshole preteen who just did something you specifically told them not to do.

 

 

 

August 18, 1967

We never see Brutus get kidnapped anymore😞 I don't think anyone I know could scrape together a ransom for someone--even one as low as $25,000.

I love the line "cement galoshes and a snorkel with a cork". I'm going to start saying that when I threaten people.

You probably just dozed off and someone came in and plopped down more work for you. They didn't wake you because you looked so cute napping at your desk.

Ha Ha Laugh

August 17, 1967

I don't know about you, but I feel Wilberforce needs to be beaten up after this game. It must be a light rain with no lightening. Although it is the 60s. Being struck by lightening probably built character or something.

How does Wilberforce not know what a laugh track is? Was he born yesterday? I mean, I agree. Laugh tracks are the Devil and unnecessary, but I don't know, maybe it's a short-term memory thing...

 

 

 

 

 

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Skipping Work

August 16, 1967

Now Teeny is Brutus and Gladys' daughter? I guess 'folks' is all encompassing and can include parents or guardians.

Look, I never (usually) complain about someone's looks, mainly because I look like me. But I think I know why Brutus and Gladys don't like Harold and it's not his hair. It's because he seems like a lump of nothing. Teeny's other guys look boring but also look like they have a future.

Ha ha! He's old!

It's nice that Brutus and Uncle Ted are going to be spending some outdoors time together. I like seeing Brutus play golf with someone other than Veeblefester because that makes little sense.

Slightly bothered by the lack of shadows in the second panel though.

Monday Quickies

August 15, 1967

If that young woman is really enjoying herself, she won't care that Brutus is bald.

If Veeblefester wants his employees to read the Wall Street Journal then he should pay for a subscription for his employees.

I Do Not Like This Guy's Mustache

June 19, 1988

Did this guy pay for a pineapple soda or did the soda jerk just give him the soda? At least Brutus got a couple sips in. This is why I always spit in my drink when given one.

I was going to say "I've been saving up to get a pool"? No, you haven't. You are possibly the poorest man on the comics page, Brutus with the exception of Snuffy Smith.

Angry Brutus Saturday

 

August 14, 1967

I don't know what Art looked like back when he was 18-22. I do know what Chip looked like. I'm sure Brutus looked fine in 1942. Teeny and Wilberforce don't seem to think so, and Gladys appears to be giving up some secrets. Hmm.

What does this have to do with anything? I don't even understand Brutus and Mother Gargle's arguments anymore. Brutus doesn't interact with enough for us to know if he's a yes man or not. At least outside of his job.

What's Mother Gargle Got Against Charles Laughton?

August 12, 1967

This time it's just traffic cones. Next time, people might not be so lucky.

I'm assuming Mother Gargle watched the 1939 version starring Charles Laughton and Maureen O'Hara. I don't care who stars in that story, everybody is ugly--Quasimodo, Frollo, the gargoyles. If someone wants to compare you to something in The Hunchback of Notre-Dame just turn around and leave.

Candy Boy

August 11, 1967

How come parents of a certain generation absolutely hate teaching their children things? Is it because they don't know the answer and it makes them upset or are they just jerks? Explaining gravity is one of the easiest things to tell people, right? It's right up there with "Why is the sky blue?". Right?

Chocolate's expensive. It's getting rarer, right? Because of the chaos and destruction of the rain forest in South America? It's also why coffee is getting more expensive if you use South American beans. But enough about money and global instability, is Brutus a Left Twix person or a Right Twix person?

Bad Meat or Bad Cook?

August 10, 1967

What a piece of shit Wilberforce is. Does Brutus have Park Place, because that's the only reason you would want to make this trade. He's crying. There's no crying in Monopoly. But this is a good example of how capitalism works: Some mean jerkass owns all the properties and companies and then makes the poorer general public poorer and sad.

I guess Brutus does have all the utilities, but still...

I'll give you my review if you take off that stupid hat.

When you ask for a review, you can't get mad. If you don't want to listen and learn from the critique, then don't go asking for critiques.

Slippin' and Slidin'

August 9, 1967

While the height of the Cold War was mostly over by the time this comic strip saw print, worry over the Soviet Union and Communism still persisted in the United States. Many did think that "it can't happen here" either because the United States was so much stronger or believing where they live to be too unimportant to bomb. 

Can Harry see Wilberforce lighting that M-80? If so, then he should do a better job at warning Brutus.

Well, go make more. I don't even know how this happened. She barely moved the tray and all of them just go tumbling onto the floor?

Do you not get a side with the sliders? Some fries or a salad...well, maybe not a salad...but something.

12 Down: First day of the work week, hated by Garfield. 6 letters.

August 8, 1967

The mugger allowed you to turn around. You could've hit him with your umbrella as you turned around. I'm not saying Brutus wouldn't still be mugged, but you never know.

Being mugged was another thing TV and cartoons said was going to happen a lot. Maybe it does still happen a lot, I just clearly look like I have nothing of value on me.

Well, they are only, like, $2 at Walmart and have 80-100 pages so I think I'm fine, thank you.

That does not look like a book. It looks like a piece of paper. Maybe Brutus tears out the pages.

Even Wilberforce Is Confused "You mean Dad?"

June 12, 1988

Isn't there somewhere else you can go to get away from the soap opera, Brutus? There is no need to act like a 6-year-old.

Calm down, Wilberforce. You are nine. Life changers and new situations are still a few years away. At least Wilberforce has a father he can talk to about stuff. Some of us had to be our own fathers. Wait. What?