We're Still Paying Off Our Last Dream

June 2, 1967

Look, if you two want to see each other while wet and dressed only in towels, you don't have to go through these elaborate lies. Especially since you're doing it out in public anyway.

"They"? Who's "they"? Weinermeyer's? They're okay, I guess. I feel their products have gone downhill in the last couple of years. Probably something to do with Covid and supply chain or whatever.

"A new washer and dryer would be a dream..." Aww, what a sad dream.

Tax Lax

June 1, 1967

While I'm a fan of waterboarding when used for comic relief, I don't see how this will get Brutus to stop snoring. He's just going to fall back asleep and start snoring again--and now the blankets, sheet, and bed are wet!

Who are these people who do their taxes at the last minute? I can understand that someone with complicated taxes putting it off until the last minute, but usually we just see people who have one job, no dependents, and no other income.

Red Squiggle

May 31, 1967

I don't know what's going on in this comic either. At first I thought the phone was unplugged but that cord(?) string(?) is coming out of that box on Brutus' desk. What is that? A tickertape thing or something?

I love the chunky keyboards that Chip draws in the comics. Keyboards haven't looked like that since the '90s, but Chip's not going to draw a thin keyboard or a laptop. He can't. He won't!

One thing I've noticed lately when I'm writing is that autocorrect tends to jump the gun. It begins marking a word as spelled wrong before I've finished typing the word. Maybe it's because I rarely spell things wrong and it's hoping that I do.

Understood

May 29, 1967

What's wrong? It's a suction cup arrow. It's not like it's a real arrow and Teeny's boyfriend is now dead.

Is this all Teeny does? Make out with boys and yell "WILBERFORCE!"? I guess that explains why she hasn't been seen in nearly 50 years.

Nothing going on here. I got a text message today that just read "Come early tomorrow". It's clearly an attempt at a spam text because I don't know this person and the area code is for 406, which is the entire state of Montana. I don't live in or know anybody in Montana, let alone know someone who can demand(?) that I come in early tomorrow. I want to respond, but I don't need other spammers and scammers knowing my phone number works.

Day of Rest...Please?

March 13, 1988

Your hedges are already covered in snow so a little bit more won't hurt. Making someone find another spot for the snow that's not anywhere around where they're shoveling seems like a lot to ask for only $10.

Brutus is really going through some stuff and his wife's reaction is to pat his belly and make a fat joke. I'm surprised Brutus doesn't have some vice to get him through life.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can donate through the About page. The fifth installment of Chris Welkin, Planeteer covering April 1952 posted yesterday so check it out.

Infectious Humor

May 27, 1967

I don't understand why people constantly talk to or goad dogs when they walk by. My dog is a huge bitch and would probably eat your face if she could--or freeze instantly because she doesn't know what to do if she had an opportunity to eat your face. But still, just leave dogs alone. Walk on by.

One of my favorite things to do on a morning where I don't have to work is crack open my newspaper and immediately go to the comics page to start my day on a laugh. Instead, I see that Gladys has an infection. What am I supposed to do with that information?

Chris Welkin, Planeteer #5

Just like Artemis II.

When we last left Chris Welkin and his friends, they were back on Earth to build a space platform. An engineer named Rad Rune became part of the team to build the platform but had his own plans to take over the platform and then the world! And now, Chris Welkin, Planeteer for April 1952.

You can check out November 1951 through March 1952 using the Chris Welkin tag.

At least he's not speaking Chinese Pidgin English
or swapping Rs and Ls.

Can You Even See the Mustache In the Newspaper?

May 26, 1967

I don't know what's going on here. Some kind of sewing machine accident? The internet, if you can trust it, says this is a sheet metal folding machine. I don't see it. Maybe some kind of a pulley system?

If you know what this is, let me know on social media.

Instead of sporting his typical toothbrush mustache, Brutus has opted to comb his mustache to the side. Or at least, I think that's what happened. Brutus has always had a mustache so I don't know why he considers it "something new". He just combed it.

Thursday Quickies

May 25, 1967

It took me a minute to realize what's happening here. But I don't care about that. That lady has an enormous body. She's at least 5'11" and I'd let her throw me over a cliff.

I don't believe for a second that Vic Appleton's father is a millionaire because if he was, then why is Vic in a public school?

Tick Tock and You Don't Stop

May 24, 1967

Why is the food in the line of the baseball field? Why is Veeblefester (R.W. Veeblefester, Pres.) sitting so close to the table with the punch on it? I like how Veeblefester is a money grubber, as seen in the many dollar signs he's thinking about, but 1960s corporate etiquette demands he still hosts an annual picnic. Thankfully, President Reagan will help get rid of that little annoyance.

Is...Is Gladys the clock?

Is that clock in the middle of the room?

Did we really need a visual interpretation of "tick tock"?

There wasn't a better gold color than "burning pee yellow"?