20% Less Sucky

March 22, 1967

How did Jonny's sister get in the mailbox. I imagine Jonny helped push her in. This tends to happen with brothers and sisters. Or so I'm told.

Leave it to Brutus to use A.I. and it actually helps and isn't just a big pile of steamy shit. As much as I'm disappointed that Veeblefester is using A.I., I'm not surprised. Veeblefester would happily replace all the employees he has to pay a salary and benefits to for one computer program with a yearly subscription.

I guess now is a good time to mention that I hate A.I. and don't use it. A.I. can't do what I do. I tried. It gave the Thornapples a cat.

God, Just Talking About It Makes Me Start Shaking

November 8, 1987

Is air freight cheaper? Maybe you could reschedule his trip and send Brutus by barge. Sure, it'd take longer for him to get there but he'd be out of the office and out of your hair for quite a while.

Was business class not a thing at this time? I agree that first-class seems a bit much, but coach/economy seems just as bad. You want to convey at least some success and coach does not do that.

I hate when people have car trouble. It activates all my trauma receptors. I grew up never having a new car. My mom's car consisted of, from what I remember, a 1983 Ford Granada, 1986? Mercury Marquis, 1987 Mercury Cougar, with a small handful of other shitty cars thrown in. The Cougar was my mom's last car. It broke down and she got rid of it in 2018(?) and she never had a car or drove again. The amount of times our car broke down and we had to spend hundreds to get it fixed or just get a new car when I was a kid traumatized me greatly. I currently own a 2023 model and have money to fix the car but I get a panic attack every time I think the car makes a different noise.

That knocking doesn't bode well. I'm just gonna say it: A rod is going to shoot through your engine.

Take a look at all of the Saturday posts that have posted over the last year. If you would like to support me or this website, you can see ways to do that on the About page.

I'm a Robot

March 21, 1967

Brutus is a heartbreaker. And a ladies' man. How many minutes does Brutus waste just staring at himself in the mirror in the morning?

I don't like them either, especially considering there are better ways to prove you're a human without having to select the traffic lights.

Which bicycle CAPTCHA do you think Brutus is doing? This one...

...or this one...

Do you select the painted bicycle or not?

Naomi Tanner

A few years ago, I began researching Naomi Tanner, who is buried in Vinland Cemetery in Vinland, Kansas. I was intrigued by the word 'waif' on her gravestone. If what I found was accurate, Naomi passed away in 1894 at only six-months old. There is no information on her cause of death or her parents. Based on Census information, a Tanner family was living in Vinland during the 1895 Kansas census, but not listed in the 1890 or 1900 census.

According to the census, Naomi's parents were U.S. and C.M. Tanner and she had two older sisters, Ethel and Stella. Naomi is buried in a plot owned by A.F. Allen who Naomi's mother was employed by. Albert Frederick Allen was farmer of 290 acres of land and ran a stock and feed store in Vinland.

The use of 'waif' on the gravestone is odd as a waif is generally used to describe an abandoned or neglected child which, by all accounts, Naomi was not.

I Also Suggest Shaving Your Mustache

March 20, 1967

Sigh. The good ol' days when your bosses could just give you a raise. "Hey, I like the cut of your jib, have an extra $2.50 a week!" Now your raises have to be approved and go through payroll and you just get a raise like everybody else--it's not based on quality of work or popularity at all. Not that I'm popular at work but I'm there everyday and I'm good at my job. I feel that's worth an extra $2.50 a week!

Do it Brutus! You shave those two? Three? hairs on your head! I can't imagine it's fun drawing them. "Gotta make sure this line and squiggle are there, otherwise how will you know that's Brutus?"

I've thought about shaving my head. I don't think I'd look good. Of course, I already think I'm pretty ghastly already, but at least I have hair.

Are Knights of the Round Table a Thing Kids Today Know?

March 18, 1967

wut...?

"25 years of marriage, huh? That's a pretty long time. You know what else is also pretty long? What Brutus doesn't know won't hurt him, babe!"

And I'm assuming that's his wife sitting with him on the couch. Meanwhile, he's seated away from her and leering at Gladys. Poor thing. She seems like such a nice woman.

When did we start learning about surrealism? Middle school? Maybe fifth grade. I'm trying to remember when I really got into Salvadore Dali and did a Cyclops/Mona Lisa mash-up. It certainly wasn't whatever grade Hattie is supposed to be in right now.

Must Be Uncle Ted Week

March 17, 1967

At least the cake is OK. That is some small kitchen space. Gladys must really be engrossed in her cake decorating because I think you'd hear the door open in a space that small.

And why is the kitchen so small? The Thornapples live in an older house where the kitchen isn't for the owners.

I worry like hell about losing my vision as I get older. Not that bad vision runs in my family or anything, but I still worry. My Mom had Fuchs' dystrophy in the last couple years of her life. Her vision would remain cloudy for two or so hours after waking up. When I went to the eye doctor last year, I asked about it. While it is genetic, it occurs in women more than men so the doctor wasn't too concerned.

I'm sorry, but I'm not losing my vision. I can't. I won't.

Asparagus Rag

March 16, 1967

And we all know there's nothing like poorly played violin music.

I've never seen the Thornapples with this many friends. They must have stopped coming over and hanging out after Wilberforce's performance.

My wife likes asparagus, but I don't. She doesn't like green beans or olives, but I do. I don't think our tastes are going to change. Why do parents like Gladys insist on feeding their children stuff they don't like? Wilberforce doesn't like asparagus, quit making it--or at least quit making him eat it.

Cold Spell Monday

I was alerted to another comic strip that Art Sansom did when he was a bullpen artist for Newspaper Enterprises. Peggy was one of those ubiquitous teenage comics roughly in the vein of Archie, Penny, and even Flapper Fannie and maybe even Luann. The strip lasted from around 1949 until 1951 when Sansom was put on Chris Welkin. Speaking of which, the February and March 1952 strips posted on Saturday, if you are so inclined to read.

Peggy, April 23, 1951

I will have to see if I can find a good collection of Peggy online and add them to my Art & Chip Sansom repertoire.

March 10, 1967

Women's day at the golf course. Why is that tree right there where you tee off? It's fine. She's still under par.

Uncle Ted is a fan of Peter O'Toole. A big fan.

The Throwaway Panel Adds Nothing To This

November 1, 1987

How many brain cells does Brutus lose when he walks into this restaurant? And you're just gonna let him walk out on his bill just on his word he'll mail in a check the next morning? I'd be on board with that if they knew Brutus, he was a regular, and they know he was good for it, but clearly they don't know Brutus. This restaurant deserves to lose money and shut down.

I want to acknowledge one of the more interesting things about these older strips. For some reason, I really like Art's illustration showing quick head movements. You know, the two faces on the head as seen in the second panel.

I just think it's neat.

I appreciate this almost current Sunday strip that was probably made about a month ago. Unfortunately, there's, like, 12 inches of snow that fell over the last 24 hours or so. Unless, like I've mentioned before, all Veeblefester employees live in their own community and it's a domed community, but that seems too dystopian for a legacy comic strip.

Speaking of dystopian, President Donald Trump is a rapist, pedophile, and murderer. Fuck Trump and Fuck ICE. If you would like to support the Great State of Minnesota and the people of Minneapolis, you can check out resources here.