Even Wilberforce Is Confused "You mean Dad?"

June 12, 1988

Isn't there somewhere else you can go to get away from the soap opera, Brutus? There is no need to act like a 6-year-old.

Calm down, Wilberforce. You are nine. Life changers and new situations are still a few years away. At least Wilberforce has a father he can talk to about stuff. Some of us had to be our own fathers. Wait. What?

He Needs a New Bike So He Can Better Represent Cleveland

August 7, 1967

We're just going to ignore that Brutus is running around in a bunny costume. I don't know what color the costume is supposed to be, but I imagine it being pink.

He looks like a deranged Easter bunny. A pink nightmare.

We should follow Tyrone home so we can get a glimpse of Tyrone and Naomi at home. He can regale us with his cool dog catcher stories.

I could've sworn that Wilberforce mentioned a bike earlier in the summer, but I can't find it--or it never existed. I remember lots of these strips. Birthdays, anniversaries, 98% of my students, all completely forgotten, but I can find a specific Born Loser strip with a vague description.

"Pop, can I have a new bike? Pop, can I have a new bike? Pop, can I have a new bike...?" "Everyday for the past two months 'Pop, can I have a new bike? Pop, can I have a new bike?'"

Tonight On 'The Born Loser'...

August 5, 1967

At least we know why Teeny stopped appearing in the comic strip. She moved out into her own place because she was sick of the Thornapple's shit.

Only 12 episodes per season? Pfft. We used to have proper seasons: 22-24 episodes and hopefully enough seasons (5) to make it to 100 episodes. Fucking binge Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (594 episodes) or The Simpsons (808 episodes) if you want me to be impressed.

Give me long-running series with 22 episodes a season where 5-7 of them are all certified bangers any day.

"You're Looking Rundown." "Thanks...?"

August 4, 1967

Wilberforce has to go home at some point. You can hit him when he returns cold and hungry.

I will admit that I like the surreal Looney Tunes-esque stuff Art sometimes does. How did he do that?

Ha ha! It's funny because Brutus has sleep apnea and is slowly dying! Of course Brutus has sleep apnea. Gladys probably has it, too. And Mother Gargle. It's an epidemic.

Put Your Legs Under the Desk

August 3, 1967

Is...Is that God? No, it's probably just some advertisement on a building. You don't have to listen to those...unless it's about giving her English muffins this year.

Has Brutus just been sitting like that all morning? His knees, hips, and feet are going to hurt like hell when he goes to stand up.

If Brutus doesn't want to work, he shouldn't be so blatant about it. Hang in the break room, take longer in the restroom, Oh, I have to run out to my car for something, I was talking with Arnie about the Streisand account. Don't just sit at your desk.

I wonder how the Wimberley account went? Not great, I assume.

Droopy Green Thumb

August 2, 1967

Brutus cares not for your social life, Teeny. Get out of the bathroom! There are other people in this house, you know.

Do (Did?) people normally not keep their toothbrush in the bathroom? You lug it around? Seems inconvenient.

 

Brutus this is serious! This is the only place we get our vegetables from now since everything at the store is so expensive. These plants could mean life or death for us and our little boy. And climate change sure isn't helping.

Carpenters Reference?

August 1, 1967

Is Brutus hungover? He also looks like he's going to throw up, but that may be just hearing the word 'horoscope'.

 

Okay, it's rainy days and Mondays, so saying "rainy Tuesdays through Sundays" is at best redundant and at worst interpreting the song incorrectly. "Rainy days" already implies rainy Tuesdays through Sundays.

But he does seem to have the day off so that a good thing, right?

So Many Golf Phrases...

June 5, 1988

Brutus did not want to miss one second of this game, I guess. I don't know how Brutus expects to get home, let alone just move his car but I guess that's an issue for future-Brutus.

Oh, no! Are we going to do a week of reruns during the week I bring back the older strips? As long as we stay pre-November 2020 we should be good.

Does Brutus need a lesson on how to make the golf ball curve? Golf Digest has a decent tutorial. They even mention Jack Nicklaus, who, as I understand it, is pretty big in the golfing world.

 

 

 

 

 

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SaturDate Night

So does Mother Gargle also not like her grandchild or is she just gaming money out of Brutus and Gladys? I hope Mother Gargle knows that stealing money from Brutus is also stealing money from Gladys.

Fake It til You Make It

Brutus is off to do subpar work on the Wimberley account. At least it's Friday. Look, Brutus is apparently a terrible employee but somehow he keeps most of his accounts. I'm sure Wimberley will be fine.