Here's Your Random Soda

I don't know if you've noticed but I've been scarce on social media the last week or so. Partly because I started back at work so I'm there for 7+ hours a day, but mostly because social media has been boring and it hasn't been keeping my interest. Honestly, if I didn't have to post links to my website every day to keep readership up, I'd just drift away from social media and spend time doing other things. Between work, school, the park, writing, and reading, I have plenty of crap going on in my life. I don't need social media.

July 3, 1988

So let me get this straight. Absolutely no one had ever been hit on the head by anything until 1666? I find that hard to believe. In reality, even if Titus Thornapple had been hit by the apple, was Titus Thornapple a scientist? Isaac Newton only started looking into what would become gravity because he was isolating because of the plague and had a lot of time on his hands, and because he asked questions because he's a scientist!

I guess Newton witnessed this apple falling, but didn't decide to do any research until six years later.
Friend: "Isaac, what you working on?"
Newton: *sucking on some mercury* "Six years ago I watched this apple fall and nearly bean a guy on the noggin and it gave me an idea..."

Mother Gargle takes the bus from Cleveland to Erie? That sounds terrible. I just figured she drove.

Oh, boy. A watered-down soda, no change, and Mother Gargle is $50 richer. What a crappy Sunday.

Grmblmxf Saturday

August 28, 1967

What is Gladys taking out of the oven? A beehive?

And where do you get olives that size? I want one.

Wasp nests just don't appear overnight. That thing has been there for days. It can wait a couple more hours.

I like putting my feet up as well. I didn't even know Brutus' green chair was a recliner. Maybe it's only a recliner when the story calls for it.

Jolly Ice Cream Dude?

August 26, 1967

The Born Loser takes place in a world where our conscience angels and demons actually exist, are tangible, and can interfere with our lives. That doesn't seem...great.

How does Brutus decide when to wear his toupee? He seems to just do it randomly.

Makes sense. I just assume ice cream from the ice cream truck is, like, $16 now. I rarely got to peruse the ice cream truck when I was a kid. We was po' and scraping together even a couple bucks was sometimes a lesson in futility.

I'm just going to assume that today's comic is a tie-in with the horror/slasher movie Ice Cream Man (now in theaters!) so tomorrows comic is going to be quite a shock to people.

Shrimp of the Day

August 25, 1967

How come there are all these instruments lying around? We've seen Brutus play a cello before, but also bagpipes, another cello, a saxophone, a tuba, yet another cello, a violin, more bagpipes, and another tuba. Where are all these instruments coming from?

And with only a couple of exceptions, he can seemingly play them all.

And you can't make the shrimp hot? You can't deep-fry them? I don't know why I question this diner. They are terrible and no one should eat here.

Mother Gargle Haters Club

August 24, 1967

If the creamed codfish looks like the search images, it looks like lumps of potatoes. I'm not a seafood guy so I would never eat creamed codfish and jelly sandwiches. I feel like Wilberforce is trying to throw up.

Where'd they get malteds?

"Is your mother-in-law really all that annoying?" Yes! Ramona Gargle is terrible! She first showed up for my website way back in March 2008 and she has been getting worse every day since. I will always be on Brutus' side when it comes to hating Mother Gargle.

Do You Still Get Gum?

August 23, 1967

The one damn part of the speech everybody should know.

I bet if you told someone in 1967 that there would be a Broadway musical about Alexander Hamilton starring a bunch of minorities, they'd probably be like "Alexander Hamilton? Which one was he? Oh! The duel guy!"

I discovered a few weeks ago and got pissed off at learning that trading cards are kind of making a comeback but they are just online. So I pay for them but I don't own them? That's some stupid NFT bullshit. No, sir, I don't like it.

I'm Starting to Think That Veeblefester Is Not That Great of a Boss

August 22, 1967

I like older music so I understand Brutus' frustration here. He's just a middle-aged man who likes waltzes. Is that such a crime? No need to call him a "golden-ager".

I mean, dear lord, Brutus is very excited for the Waltz-time portion of this program.

At least Veeblefester talks. He doesn't just sit there and fall asleep while several people talk beside and behind him like someone else I know.

Even RFKJr is snoozing a bit...

Requiem for a Rainy Sunday

June 26, 1988

Brutus' appendix burst and he died of sepsis so Brutus has been wandering around as a ghost since 1988. Why Brutus continues to live his life and go to work when he's a ghost is something that demands attention though.

Glad to see Gladys driving Brutus to the hospital. An ambulance isn't your own personal taxi to the hospital...wait...

 

We've had enough rain around here. I don't know how it's been in Ohio but I swear it's practically rained everyday here in Kansas. I'm certain everything is fine and we don't need to worry about anything.

 

 

 

 

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You're Not Special

August 21, 1967

This happens a lot.

"Why are you telling me? The guy you should be telling--the one with the giant bag, I mean, who brings a large bag into a bank?--is next up in line!"

This is like those fake ads for crap at the bottom of websites where it's like, "90% of people have this debilitating disease" and it's click-bait to tell you about warts or something. Peanut butter gets stuck to the roof of your mouth, that's its whole thing. It's not some rare occurrence.

We Buy Universal Remotes Just In Case

August 19, 1967

Note the date. Note the date.

Brutus and Gladys sleep in separate beds? Was that something the syndicate/newspapers said should happen or is it because that's what they did in TV shows. Although Darren and Samantha Stevens had been sharing a bed on Bewitched since at least 1964.

"How can you not know how to turn on the TV without the remote. Goddamn, what a moron!" you may be thinking. But let me tell you this: Neither of my TVs have buttons on them to do anything manually on the TV so blame bad UX, not Wilberforce.