Desperate Times, I Guess

July 10, 1988

I'm surprised we've only seen Brutus threaten to quit a couple times. Brutus seems like someone who would threaten to quit every couple weeks or so. Especially these days. But it's hard out there anymore and threatening to quit doesn't work as well as it used to...especially when you suck at your job.

I don't know what Veeblefester expected here. Brutus is a salesman, not an ad guy or marketing person. Tea cozies don't need a flashy ad campaign, they practically sell themselves!

They Have, Like, Two More Weeks

September 5, 1967

He got to 240 within five minutes which seems pretty impressive. I know there are 300 seconds in 5 five minutes so you can get to 240 in that time, I just get distracted and slower as I count because I get bored.

Was he counting out loud the whole time and she just woke up, or did he just get to 240 before she got annoyed?

I'm sure if you get right down to it and dive deep into interrogating the children, there is probably something they like about school. But we don't really want to know because it's either going to be stupid or sad.

Starring The Marx Brothers

September 2, 1967

Why do you want Kewpie to beg? Just have her sit or whatever.

Ok. More animal crackers for me then. Seriously, what kind of stupid remark is this? Do you want a snack or not?

Another Day, Another Marital Spat

September 1, 1967

And now they're both going to be slaughtered. It's a shame Wilberforce will be the one to find them. I don't know if Teeny is still around, but she's resilient. She could definitely handle stumbling on dead bodies.

 

*Sigh* Can we get someone to slaughter these people...?

Brutus and Gladys do this about every other month. And every fight is almost exactly the same.

Brutus Is Going to Get Hit With a Wooden Spoon

August 31, 1967

Where do Brutus'(?) feet go? On the wheel hump? Seems uncomfortable and kind of dangerous--as we can see.

I had to write a motorcycle scene in this story (main character was riding on the back of his girlfriend's motorcycle) I am writing and I have never been on a motorcycle so I just treated it like the character was riding a roller coaster. That works, right?

Why is Brutus completely discounting boxed brownie mix? Is Gladys so bad at baking that she can't even stir together a mix, eggs, and oil?

Frozen brownies you just put in the microwave? I need to try this new technology!

Tuesday Shorts

August 30, 1967

Why are we painting chairs? That chair is clearly has fabric on it and shouldn't be painted at all.

They don't cancel your card for spending money. They cancel it for not paying. That'll happen in a couple months.

Bad Leftovers Are the Worst

August 29, 1967

Ah, the sixties, when you maybe actually wanted to talk to someone on the phone because you probably kind of liked them. Running upstairs, making sure you got to the phone. Wait. Why were phones a good idea again?

I can't believe Brutus just laid there as the phone rang loudly in his ear. I would've thrown it across the room, so I might as well just answer the damn thing.

This is what we did for dinner last night. Not ham loaf, leftovers. Although the leftovers did have ham.

Geez, Gladys seems really happy about these leftovers.

Here's Your Random Soda

I don't know if you've noticed but I've been scarce on social media the last week or so. Partly because I started back at work so I'm there for 7+ hours a day, but mostly because social media has been boring and it hasn't been keeping my interest. Honestly, if I didn't have to post links to my website every day to keep readership up, I'd just drift away from social media and spend time doing other things. Between work, school, the park, writing, and reading, I have plenty of crap going on in my life. I don't need social media.

July 3, 1988

So let me get this straight. Absolutely no one had ever been hit on the head by anything until 1666? I find that hard to believe. In reality, even if Titus Thornapple had been hit by the apple, was Titus Thornapple a scientist? Isaac Newton only started looking into what would become gravity because he was isolating because of the plague and had a lot of time on his hands, and because he asked questions because he's a scientist!

I guess Newton witnessed this apple falling, but didn't decide to do any research until six years later.
Friend: "Isaac, what you working on?"
Newton: *sucking on some mercury* "Six years ago I watched this apple fall and nearly bean a guy on the noggin and it gave me an idea..."

Mother Gargle takes the bus from Cleveland to Erie? That sounds terrible. I just figured she drove.

Oh, boy. A watered-down soda, no change, and Mother Gargle is $50 richer. What a crappy Sunday.

Grmblmxf Saturday

August 28, 1967

What is Gladys taking out of the oven? A beehive?

And where do you get olives that size? I want one.

Wasp nests just don't appear overnight. That thing has been there for days. It can wait a couple more hours.

I like putting my feet up as well. I didn't even know Brutus' green chair was a recliner. Maybe it's only a recliner when the story calls for it.

Jolly Ice Cream Dude?

August 26, 1967

The Born Loser takes place in a world where our conscience angels and demons actually exist, are tangible, and can interfere with our lives. That doesn't seem...great.

How does Brutus decide when to wear his toupee? He seems to just do it randomly.

Makes sense. I just assume ice cream from the ice cream truck is, like, $16 now. I rarely got to peruse the ice cream truck when I was a kid. We was po' and scraping together even a couple bucks was sometimes a lesson in futility.

I'm just going to assume that today's comic is a tie-in with the horror/slasher movie Ice Cream Man (now in theaters!) so tomorrows comic is going to be quite a shock to people.