More Than Raw

October 2, 1967

Don't be a hero, Brutus. Instead of trying to say something tough, Brutus should've done something while the robber had the gun tucked under his arm. I mean, I don't know if that's something I would do, but Brutus was willing to do this, so why not just attack?

It's a three-day weekend, Brutus can afford to have tummy bubbles from diner seafood this weekend.

I barely trust this diner with making my chicken fried steak, why would I trust it with sushi?

Wouldn't Everything Be Blurry Before Putting On Your Glasses Anyway?

September 30, 1967

Rake. Rake. Rake.

I can't believe we're missing nearly half a month of The Born Loser for September 1967. I'm sure I could find them, but just a quick search didn't give me what I needed. I'll need to try to find them and maybe put them as a special post or something.

One thing I did find was this ad for The Born Loser being added to some newspaper in 1997. I feel like if your newspaper didn't already have Frank and Ernest or The Born Loser by 1997, then maybe your readers don't really need them.

Brutus Thornapple a precursor to Homer Simpson? That's a bold statement. I wouldn't go that far. Brutus and Homer are not similar at all. Although I think you could argue that today's Brutus is more like Homer because that has been our baseline for pop culture fathers for 40 years.

"I went to the doctor today...and he did everything he could but...I am in perfect health." There's got to be a better way to open this conversation than making me worried that Uncle Ted is going blind. Love and care for your eyes, people!

After Dinner Ailment

September 15, 1967

Ok, I'm not calling the police to chat. If I'm calling the police, then I need the police in some capacity. I'm not calling to talk about my neighborhood, which is looking a little less nice now that I've been hogtied and robbed!

Have we eaten and are now just sitting and drinking coffee to settle our stomachs or something? I'm glad Wilberforce got to eat dinner, but what he's still there for?

That middle panel is definitely something a normal person says

September 14, 1967

Are...Are the Thornapples trespassing in some bear family's house?

Mm. I didn't know Veeblefester, in addition to being the CEO, was also the person who procures general office supplies.

This Could've Been an Email

September 13, 1967

Not only does Brutus' back hurt, his legs are turning into a wispy mist. That can't be good.

Why "Old Zip Coon"? Why not "Turkey In the Straw"? 😭 

Yeah, it took Veeblefester years. Mainly because Veeblefester's father first ran the company and he didn't pass away until he was 93. "Why did you call me in...Are you counting coins?"

Brutus Should Just Use Wilberforce to Cheat

July 17, 1988

Why would you wear a fake nose and glasses when meeting someone? "Cut the tension"? I'm sure there are better ways to do that than wearing something stupid on your face. Now who's the idiot?

Is Hope a cousin on Gladys' side? The women in her family certainly have a type...

I always feel that having different names for things is a way of gatekeeping. "You don't know what 'hook' and 'slice' mean? Don't make me l-a-f-f laugh!"

I hope Wilberforce is able to keep this positive attitude while he's out on the golf course for five to seven hours today.

Up, Up, and Away

September 12, 1967

Mm. Mother Gargle was always a horrid bitch. Good to know. I don't know why this argument requires waterboarding Brutus, but the 1960s were a different time.

Clark Kent is a well-respected international journalist and author who is married to a well-respected Pulitzer Prize winning international journalist and author. Being Superman is quite literally the least remarkable part of Clark Kent. Even without the punchline, comparing Brutus to Clark Kent doesn't make sense.

Late Night Friday

September 11, 1967

I'm guessing this guy is just making up a poem about the water because I could not find any poem or anything with these words. I originally thought it was from "water, water everywhere nor any drop to drink" which is from The Rime of the Ancient Mariner (Coleridge, 1834) but it's not.

Was being stranded at sea something that happened a lot in the past?

Is that Brutus' blond co-worker? I'm a little concerned that Brutus didn't realize one of his closest co-workers has not been at work.

Or is this some other blond guy Brutus knows? 

Yet Another Day, Yet Another Marital Spat

September 9, 1967

Were Brutus, Gladys, Wilberforce, and maybe Teeny were just going to share one giant steak? A least they have a big salad.

We just did this last week! These two need therapy. I'm willing to pay for some of it. Or their divorce.

House Hole

Tim Curry

1946 - 2026 

Should we give Death one more chance to take an 80-year-old in hopes that he'll snag the right one? And you just know that with every celebrity death that gets an outpouring of grief, Trump is wandering around the White House saying this:

Ben Chang is just a little less insane.

 

September 8, 1967

*slams fist on desk* Get me the suggestion box!

*slams fist on desk* Get me Grinch in accounting!

*slams fist on desk* Get me the giant check!

*slams fist on desk* Get me Thornapple!

Hmm. This giant check makes the $225 I make every other week seem even smaller...

Brutus and Gladys' life is literally falling apart. Are the walls just crumbling or did Wilberforce die during the final boss fight and he ran out of continues? "I'll just hang this picture here and no one will be the wiser..."