Zoom In On That Handsome Fella

 

Sir Patrick Stewart

1940 - 2026 

November 15, 1967

People know that recordings and actual people sound different, right? The clue here, aside from the tinny voice on the line, is that the person is just talking over you without pausing. Is this restaurant using pewter as just something fancy or are they cooking with it because, combining the low melting point of pewter and that most older pewter has lead, that doesn't seem like a good idea.

Did the recording hang up on Brutus? I love when that happens.

Wait a minute...

...Is he looking at pictures of himself? I hate to admit but I did do this earlier today but it was a sticky note with really tiny handwriting.

You know what? I don't really want Wilberforce to be hanging around either.

November 11, 1967

Art is subjective so I don't know why Brutus is getting mad and not just ignoring Wilberforce. Acknowledging him just makes him worse.

I don't hate Brutus' painting...

It's Wednesday. Plenty of time to get Mother Gargle out of the house. Y'all know my thoughts on Mother Gargle. This request is reasonable.

Happy Birthday, Brutus! Hope You Like Crap!

 

November 13, 1967

Brutus is worth more dead than alive. I've been there.

I like how exuberant this insurance? mortician? is. He really likes his job. You know what they say: "Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life."

People love getting things they don't want as a present. Get Brutus the dieting book if you want but don't get mad if it makes Brutus' birthday tense and awkward.

Madden '26

November 11, 1967

Nobody can see that skate? Somebody, at some point, should've seen it. When going to sit down. When pouring drinks. Somebody. Somehow.

"Winning is the best deodorant" is a saying that means every bad thing about a team doesn't matter or is ignored when the team is winning. Winning is the deodorant covering up the smells of a flawed team. You actually have to win for the quote to apply.

Is John Madden known for his quotes?

Even the Dog...

 

November 10, 1967

Ugh. I'd rather be cat-called by a bunch of burly construction workers than whatever these Maynard G. Krebs and Jet Screamer clones are doing. Just let a girl wait for the bus.

Okay. So I think Gladys is a decent cook. But what I think is that she experiments too much so what she cooks doesn't come out great. Just stick to the recipe. You can't go wrong with just sticking to the recipe.

 

 

 

 

 

If you or someone you know needs emotional or mental support, please contact the National Suicide Hotline at 988. 

Friday Quickies

 

November 9, 1967

A fortune teller said that this was how I was going to die.

This is the only reason Brutus won't file the divorce papers--who will monitor his balding head?

Guess You're Not Tired Anymore!

November 8, 1967

Who's in the snowball? Gladys? Just some random person? Brutus and Gladys were just skiing last week. I guess the slopes are close to home?

Brutus doesn't seem dressed appropriately for skiing.

You can't see it because it's on the left side of his face, but Gladys really walloped him.

What is he talking about? 'Window of opportunity'? What? Where?!

Pluggers, October 21, 2026

This seems like a pretty bleak Pluggers not just because it's yet another reminder that Pluggers are ever closer to death because the schools they went to are either unsafe to be used as schools anymore (damn building codes!) or everybody who lived where they did either moved away or died and the school was no longer needed.

I'm going to look at the upside though. Where I'm from, the school typically stays up and becomes abandoned. Very few are actually turned into anything because it is costly, most large consolidated schools are in rural areas and, again, the buildings are unsafe in some way. So would you rather have an empty field where your school once stood, or a dilapidated abandoned building that overshadows your town?

No, no. Large abandoned buildings are great.

November 7, 1967

Maybe you should get a job, Gladys, and Brutus can stay at home all day and do whatever it is that you do.

At least 1967 Gladys probably does more around the house than 2026 Gladys.

Wait a minute...*scrolls through literally thousands of comics where Brutus is in an office*...Brutus doesn't work in a cubicle!

Maybe being moved to a cubicle Veeblefester uses as a punishment like with whatever Brutus did on Monday.
 

TIred Tuesdays

 

November 6, 1967

I'm assuming that Brutus got the weather wrong and it was supposed to sunny and a nice day, but instead it's raining and miserable. They all at least have umbrellas and dressed appropriately? Maybe it's just a "don't we all hate the weatherman?" comic strip?

I'm tired before school every morning. It's something that began in middle school and has just continued for the last 30 or so years. I'm not a morning person.

His Name Is Error

November 4, 1967

Really, Brutus? That's what you want your child to learn at school? His dog's name? Which isn't 'Rover' by the way, but Kewpie. You should be glad Wilberforce is learning something and actually retaining information.

By the way, Tokyo was knocked out of the largest city in the world slot by Chongqing, China. Unless you want to include urban area or the entire metropolitan area. If you do that, Tokyo is still the largest city in the world.

Yeah, and AI never makes any mistakes (it gave me the wrong city when I looked up what was now the largest city in the world).

You know, in the time it's taking to have this little meeting, I could be filling out the correct form. Just pointing that out...