Coordinating Shirt and House

May 19, 1967

On the plus side, it looks like Wilberforce is gonna get knocked off the car and get a concussion from the "drive-in" sign. Unfortunately, the paramedics and having to explain why you didn't know a child was on top of your car might ruin the movie-going experience.

The sign reads "Politicians kiss babies, baby, so why can't I kiss you?".

Crocuses are low-lying flowers so I don't know if you'd be able to see them "sticking up through the snowdrift". I agree with Gladys' reaction in the last panel. I walked over here for this?!

(Not) Going Green

Courtroom sketch by Dana Verkouteren

President Trump showed up at the Supreme Court to intimidate the justices see how his Solicitor General is handling his birthright citizenship argument. Trump doesn't believe there should be birthright citizenship in the United States because he's a racist piece of shit and those people don't vote for him he thinks it only applies to children of slaves. I don't know, but the 14th Amendment is pretty clear and has been settled law since 1898. I don't think birthright citizenship will be discarded, because think of the can of worms that would open up. What I do think will happen, as has happened in nearly every other case Trump has lost, is Trump will be given a blueprint on how to eliminate birthright citizenship legally and constitutionally. Essentially he'll be told to go through Congress. The 14th Amendment can be easily (re: not easily) removed through an amendment. I mean, Trump will never get 2/3rds of Congress to approve and 34(?) states to ratify it by November or even 2028, but he can try.

It's hilarious to me that Trump controls each branch of the government and he can't advance his agenda. It shows just how unpopular his agenda is with just the people he has to work with. Since he can't push his agenda through the way he's supposed to, he's forced to go through unconstitutional, vague, and/or impotent executive orders which end up getting struck down by the courts, who usually tell Trump how to do this legally and constitutionally, which then just starts the cycle over again because Trump can't actually pass anything through Congress because he's not popular and is a lame duck president. It's hilarious, sad, and upsetting--especially during the time people are actually enforcing the executive orders or using various federal departments to hurt their own citizens.

May 18, 1967

Is this what this week in May 1967 is going to be? I'm not a fan. I love we have to clarify who did this. Brutus hasn't even been the main character for a year yet so of course we don't know who anyone is. I mean, this girl just popped up a week ago!

If Veeblefester isn't environmentally friendly by now then he's never going to be. I guess it's good that Arnie is optimistic.

Decaf Riff-Raff 5: The Never-Ending Story

May 17, 1967

One of my favorite things when dating someone is seeing old pictures of them and seeing embarrassing pictures of them. I mean, we're going to be swapping fluids and being inside each other, I should be able to see candid photos of you in the bathroom and weird-ass photos holding onto a 2-liter of Pepsi for dear life.

Jesus Christ. We had a three-part decaf coffee storyline back in September and we don't need another one. This isn't even an original decaf coffee strip. Brutus talked about drinking an inordinate amount of coffee to make up for the lack of caffeine back in 2023.

Why Is Wilberforce's Foot So Big?

May 16, 1967

Okay, I get that Wilberforce tied Teeny's sheets(?) together, but why? I feel like if a shitty younger brother were to tie things together, they'd tie together dresses, underwear, and bras. Anyway, when Teeny catches Wilberforce, she should wrap those sheets around his neck and throw him out the window.

Forever glad I'm an only child.

Shouldn't that be something the teacher teaches you? I mean, any idiot can say "Class, for your homework tonight, learn about everything. My work here is done!" If my child came home from school with homework to "find out how many inches are in a foot" I'd be concerned. The homework, if there should be any at all, should be "how many inches are these common household things and convert that to feet".

11 Angry Men...& Brutus

President Trump's healthcare plan is to get rid of the Affordable Care Act--where subsidies are used to make health insurance cheaper--and replace it with giving those subsidies directly to the American people. Most estimates puts that at each American gets around $2000 a year. I don't know about you, but most health insurance costs at least $400 a month. I get insurance through my employer and I pay about $200 a month for it. My employer pays the rest at about $350-$400. That's about $500 a month using a conservative estimate for health insurance. Somehow I don't think that $2000 a year is going to cut it considering people are looking at $6000 a year for health insurance. Maybe getting government out of health insurance will lower the prices, but I'm not going to hold my breath. If I held my breath waiting for one of Trump's policies to actually do what we were told would happen, I would've died back in 2017.

May 15, 1967

It's just the front page. Nothing good is ever on the front page.

I'm assuming the sale is happening at Gimbel's

The court makes it easy to attend jury duty. I had to spend an entire day doing jury selection and they repeatedly said they will pay any parking fees you incur while serving. Brutus must've parked illegally, but even then I feel you could argue "I was doing jury duty" and get it forgiven.

"Why are you home from jury duty so early?" What's early from jury duty? Is Gladys up to something? Start going through the closets, Brutus. Is Arnie here?!

I Agree, You Should Gravely Injure Him

February 28, 1988

This is why no one goes to church anymore, Father. On the flip side, at the park I work at, we have an old church with a bell that visitors can actually ring. The way that their eyes light up and how it captures everyone's attention (one time, it even lured an elderly woman with a walker to want to see inside the church) makes me think that maybe we should go back to ringing large bells to signal the start of Sunday.

Is Wilberforce actually a decent pitcher, it's just the batters are usually better at hitting the ball? That completely upends how good I think Wilberforce is at sports.

And of course Masher McGee is good. His parents named him Masher. That's his name! If it were a nickname, it'd have quotes around it. He's a nine-year-old boy named Masher.

Cannibal Canine

May 13, 1967

I agree that a septic tank is not a good birthday present. You could've thrown something in with that. I don't know what Gladys wants but jewelry? Maybe a new fragrance?

Look! There are four people sitting at the table eating. You don't see that anymore. I don't know if it's because of the smaller space for comic strips, a kind of laziness from the cartoonist, or what, but this is what the Thornapples should look like. Wilberforce should get to eat!

The Thornapples having a teenage daughter actually makes sense when you think about it.

Most dogs eat their own poop or the poop of other dogs so I'm sure dogs would eat each other. Especially if processed into the canned or dry dog food sold in stores.

Mother Gargle Didn't Say That, It Was the Shirelles

May 12, 1967

What are we doing here? Is this man a doctor? An insurance agent? I guess a doctor can see if Brutus has a concussion or little holes in his head. Insurance agents seems less likely. The bird probably does not have insurance and Brutus' head isn't like Mary Hart's legs.

We're going to spend an entire week in a yellow void but on Friday, the last day, you change the void to a light blue!? "Oh, gosh!" the nameless United Features Syndicate colorist intern exclaims, "I have made the background of all of this week's strip yellow! I should choose a different color for this one. It just makes sense." Blue. I can't believe it. I just can't believe it...

The Thornapples All Live In a Yellow Submarine Apparently

May 11, 1967

Does only Wilberforce know the names of his friends? Harry, Leroy are actual names "Weakeyes" and "Noodle-Nose" aren't even nicknames, they're just insults.

And who is who?!

Does...Does Brutus really believe this about himself? Brutus would be the first to admit that he is none of these things. "I can talk bad about myself, but you can't! You don't have that right!!"

🍷

May 10, 1967

Brutus and Gladys have a teenage daughter in this strip. Her name's Teeny. Her date began gushing blood spontaneously from his nose and instead of being concerned, she's upset. Brutus and Gladys don't seem to care either. This guy could be dying!

That's not how it works at all. Look, you don't have to make up an excuse to drink. You're an adult. Just drink.

What's with the yellow backgrounds this week?