Cut Those People Out of Your Life

Mother Gargle is a very toxic person. I'm not a fan of hers and wish she'd go away. I don't like the way she tries to manipulate Gladys about her marriage. What kind of behavior is that from your mother? That's when you start cutting people out of your life. "Don't come over anymore, Mama. Just stay in Erie."

Sunday Is for Shopping

"I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure." -Clarence Darrow.

Photos from Getty Images.

I mentioned to my wife this morning that I hope other politicians read how the bulk of people remember Lindsay Graham, who passed away earlier this morning from a "brief illness", and Mitch McConnell, who had a medical emergency back on June 14 and has been neither seen nor heard since prompting speculation into his death, and not want that for themselves. "I don't want people to talk about me like that!" Well, then be a better person. Don't insert yourself into people's lives, don't take away people's right, and don't attach yourself to a man who is definitely bringing about the end of your country.

I don't have much hope in that though. Most politicians, especially Republicans, are not in government to actually help people and make the country a better place, but to enrich themselves, especially after seeing how easy it is with Trump as the president. Lindsay Graham was even an early opponent of Trump. I don't know what happened but seeing him brown-nose Trump over the last ten years has been disheartening and I hate that I can't tell if it's out of necessity, actual respect, or fear. That's how I feel about any politician who brown-noses Trump. Why are you doing this and no matter what the reason, it makes you a bad person and people are not going to care when you die.

Sure, maybe a bunch of randos on the Internet saying bad stuff about you after you die isn't high on your list of why you should be a good person, but why would you use this limited time on this planet--in this life--to be a terrible person? And again, it doesn't matter what your reasoning is, it still makes you a bad person. Anyway, former Capitol Police Officer Michael Fanone probably says it best "Rest in Piss" to both Graham and McConnell. They could've continued making the country a better place after 2016, but instead chose to make it worse for everybody for reasons we will now never know.

Gladys is looking forward to shopping with Brutus? Okay. It's bold of Brutus to still ask if he could not go shopping and play golf instead when Gladys responded so excitedly to them going.

What's Wilberforce going to do? Is he going to locked in his little cage or what? He certainly isn't going shopping with his parents.

Sick Leave Saturday

I don't think employers can control how I use my sick time. Especially when you don't give us personal or vacation time. So anyway, I guess I will go on vacation and call in sick every day. 

I will admit that spraining your ankle doesn't need an entire week off. Sprained ankles aren't contagious and you can still do your job if you don't need to stand or walk a lot. 

You Need a Cookbook for a Charcuterie Board?

Brutus has never heard of a charcuterie board? And what's this about having a dinner party? Do the Thornapples know enough people to invite to a dinner party? At least there'll be meat and cheese.

Daylight Brutus Time

For all I know, you got that coffee at five o'clock this morning. Your coffee being cold is no litmus test for how late someone is.

I don't know what Brutus is doing here. If I am late, the last thing I want to do is alert that fact to my supervisor. Is this some kind of kink Brutus is in to?

2s Across the Board

Jesus Hornswoggle Christ. Does Veeblefester do evaluations every other week? It seems like Brutus is getting evaluated or reviewed at least once a month. Is he on an improvement plan or something?

Admittedly, this is the best evaluation Brutus has gotten in a long time.

And Most Adults Don't Get Two Months Off for the Summer

Yeah, work sucks. I know. And I have a job I kind of like!

I adore Wilberforce's wide-eyed innocence in the second panel. "When I grow up, I won't have any homework at all!" Oh, you ignorant, simple son of a bitch...

What's In a Name?

No one has ever said that. I would almost say Veeblefester said this, but Veeblefester seems more like a person who would purposely forget your name as some kind of power move.

Are You 4th Grade Going On 4th Grade?

Fourth grader reading at a second grade level? That's not too bad considering most adult Americans read at a seventh or eighth grade level. Although you want to start turning the tide now, Wilberforce. You don't want to be in middle school and at the same reading level. That's not good for anyone involved in your education.

Don't forget about my post on the Independence Day comic book miniseries from yesterday. If you would like to support me or this website, you can tip me in the corner or throw some money at the About page.

Uncle Ted Presents A Stay-At-Home Fourth!

For some reason, this is giving big "It is your birthday." vibes. Now, if you'll excuse Dennis, he has to go march on Washington with those other white supremacists.

Mm. Wilberforce is not on board.