They Have, Like, Two More Weeks

September 5, 1967

He got to 240 within five minutes which seems pretty impressive. I know there are 300 seconds in 5 five minutes so you can get to 240 in that time, I just get distracted and slower as I count because I get bored.

Was he counting out loud the whole time and she just woke up, or did he just get to 240 before she got annoyed?

I'm sure if you get right down to it and dive deep into interrogating the children, there is probably something they like about school. But we don't really want to know because it's either going to be stupid or sad.

Tuesday Shorts

August 30, 1967

Why are we painting chairs? That chair is clearly has fabric on it and shouldn't be painted at all.

They don't cancel your card for spending money. They cancel it for not paying. That'll happen in a couple months.

Angry Brutus Saturday

 

August 14, 1967

I don't know what Art looked like back when he was 18-22. I do know what Chip looked like. I'm sure Brutus looked fine in 1942. Teeny and Wilberforce don't seem to think so, and Gladys appears to be giving up some secrets. Hmm.

What does this have to do with anything? I don't even understand Brutus and Mother Gargle's arguments anymore. Brutus doesn't interact with enough for us to know if he's a yes man or not. At least outside of his job.

And Most Adults Don't Get Two Months Off for the Summer

Yeah, work sucks. I know. And I have a job I kind of like!

I adore Wilberforce's wide-eyed innocence in the second panel. "When I grow up, I won't have any homework at all!" Oh, you ignorant, simple son of a bitch...

Are You 4th Grade Going On 4th Grade?

Fourth grader reading at a second grade level? That's not too bad considering most adult Americans read at a seventh or eighth grade level. Although you want to start turning the tide now, Wilberforce. You don't want to be in middle school and at the same reading level. That's not good for anyone involved in your education.

Don't forget about my post on the Independence Day comic book miniseries from yesterday. If you would like to support me or this website, you can tip me in the corner or throw some money at the About page.

I Don't Think People Go Around Calling June 6th 'D-Day'. It's Not Memorial Day or Thanksgiving.

Hey, there. Hi, there. Ho, there. For 🌈🏳️‍🌈Pride Month🏳️‍⚧️🌈 and the end of our week-long rerun-a-nanza, we are going to promote Lucy and Sophie Say Good Bye. Running in Chicago Tribune from March to October 1905, Lucy and Sophie confuse, confound, and anger people around them just for taking too long to say good-bye to each other. While not explicitly said, Lucy and Sophie, obviously, are just really good friends.

July 25, 1967

Tubs overflowing is such a weird trope. We, as modern people, are used to bathtubs having an overflow drain so the tub doesn't do this while you inexplicably decided to answer the phone while filling the tub. Apparently, even some tubs today don't have an overflow drain so you can fill the tub fuller and have a tub with a clean, modern aesthetic. Whatever.

"Look, Pop, school is out and I don't have to learn anymore. See ya!" And, hey, 'D' is passing! So there's that...

I haven't paid attention to June 6th since Charles Schulz died.

June 6, 1993

The Last Days of Wilberforce Thornapple

July 11, 1967

Oh, God! It's a gigantic bird with an upside down face! Feets don't fail me now!

Birdwatching is another thing pop culture said was going to play a bigger part in my life. Look, I take walks in nature and have nothing against birds, but I've never specifically gone out to bird watch. But that's all pop culture in the past said would happen. You'd go out birdwatching and get stuck in quicksand.

This is what you're spending your Saturday doing?

And no wonder you have to go to school past Memorial Day. You're only doing six hours a day!?

This Report Is Good

It's clear that Trump is building a bunker so when he inevitably has to leave in 2029, we will be unable to get to him. He claims the ballroom is for security, but that only makes sense if Trump never leaves the White House. Is that what he plans on doing? If the 2028 election is between JD Vance and Kamala Harris (for example) and Harris wins, will Trump just barricade himself in the ballroom and drone-attack and snipe anyone that comes to carry him out? And if Vance wins, is Trump just going to live in the White House with him? No other president has needed a massive ballroom or an underground impenetrable bunker, but this president needs one?

Also, let's not forget that groceries are up about 30% and gas is hovering in the low- to mid-$4 range, not to mention prices going up due to tariffs and everything just being more expensive. President Trump is building a ballroom so he can receive bribes from corporate oligarchs and then cower in fear when the people have had enough, but we have to tighten our belts and just...wait. "This is peanuts. I appreciate everybody putting up with it for a little while. But I don't even think about it." "[I] don't think about Americans financial situation."

To be honest, Trump has said he'll barely be able to use the ballroom because it's scheduled to be finished in late 2028, but I don't think he'll be able to use it at all. He'll be dead by 2029, either naturally or other means.

And now...comics.

June 28, 1967

Probably because Brutus drops every ball they throw at him or he misses and the ball flies by him. It ruins the fun when you constantly have to pause and wait for someone to chase the ball.

This is how imagine Butch Kapinski looks. But I know Butch is probably a chubby kid with a buzzcut and, probably, a dick nose.

I expect an 8- or 9-year-old to repeat words when writing. I think you need to come down off your high horse, Brutus. And what is Wilberforce doing a report on? Is all the information in his head because he has no books or even a computer near him.

I refuse to acknowledge the 'thesaurus' comment.

Are We At School On a Sunday?

March 20, 1988

I can't tell if this is sucking up or if Veeblefester tells his employees to do this. Either way, it's very demeaning. Although, I will find it hilarious if Veeblefester told everyone to call and wish him a happy birthday knowing he changed his phone number and didn't tell anyone.

I surprised whoever this is stayed on the line. I have no patience for telephone bullshit.

About every couple of years, there is some discourse (I know, right!?) online about how true Paul Revere's ride was. No, it didn't happen exactly the way the media and Longfellow's poem said. Revere was joined by William Dawes, Samuel Prescott, and Israel Bissell who went down different routes. He also didn't shout "The British are coming!" as this was all supposed to secret and yelling that would've alerted British sympathizers as well as patriots. Anyway, the Internet was the best thing to ever happen.

Frankly, the teacher should be surprised Wilberforce got the actual poem correct. It is Wilberforce after all.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can throw your money around on the About page.

Why Is Wilberforce's Foot So Big?

May 16, 1967

Okay, I get that Wilberforce tied Teeny's sheets(?) together, but why? I feel like if a shitty younger brother were to tie things together, they'd tie together dresses, underwear, and bras. Anyway, when Teeny catches Wilberforce, she should wrap those sheets around his neck and throw him out the window.

Forever glad I'm an only child.

Shouldn't that be something the teacher teaches you? I mean, any idiot can say "Class, for your homework tonight, learn about everything. My work here is done!" If my child came home from school with homework to "find out how many inches are in a foot" I'd be concerned. The homework, if there should be any at all, should be "how many inches are these common household things and convert that to feet".

Amazon? Yes, ma'am-azon!

The Amazon. The answer to both questions is the Amazon. Typically, we use 'largest' to mean 'longest', which in that case, the Nile is the longest river. Who bases rivers on actual size or basin area?

I'm going to use this strip to comment on the notion that I worry about Chip using AI for his comics. I first felt my Spider-sense going off in this strip where the art is just a little off. But I can chalk that up to a bad ink/coloring job that slipped through. But it really started to hit me here, the 3-part Wilberforce/Money saga, and these speech tails. And, lastly, this seems like a strip he used AI for. Saying the Amazon is the largest/longest river in the world is a mistake AI would make. Is AI being used to help write the strip and touch up the art? I hope not. Maybe I'm just being nitpicky about today's strip.

Are Knights of the Round Table a Thing Kids Today Know?

March 18, 1967

wut...?

"25 years of marriage, huh? That's a pretty long time. You know what else is also pretty long? What Brutus doesn't know won't hurt him, babe!"

And I'm assuming that's his wife sitting with him on the couch. Meanwhile, he's seated away from her and leering at Gladys. Poor thing. She seems like such a nice woman.

When did we start learning about surrealism? Middle school? Maybe fifth grade. I'm trying to remember when I really got into Salvadore Dali and did a Cyclops/Mona Lisa mash-up. It certainly wasn't whatever grade Hattie is supposed to be in right now.

I Found No Evidence of a Tyrone Pupnik

October 25, 1987

Well! I expect this kind of treatment at Kroger, but not at the Thriftway! I'm usually more abused by employees in a small grocery store than a big chain. Not that there are many small grocery stores anymore.

The muttering text doesn't even fit saying "Have a nice day" so what did she really say?

"You mean to tell me that I could've been Gladys Pupnik?" What's Tyrone Pupnik doing now? Is he upper management compared to Brutus' mid-management? Does he work in a tea kettle factory instead of a tea cozy company? Does Tyrone make the tea?

Chip is actually an alumni of Lakewood (Ohio) High School, just like Brutus here. Chip became a Distinguished Alumni (whatever that is) in 2014.

A look at the Topeka, Eskridge & Council Grove Railroad posted yesterday. If you want to support me or this website, you can do that through the About page.

Toothpaste Was Probably One of the Better Choices

*Sigh* Someday. (You can add Noem, RFK Jr., Patel, whoever you want
to either side of who I have labeled Vance and Johnson.)

I'll be honest, this is the only logical way out of this. Even if we do elections in November and can get Trump impeached, Vance is still there and Trump will still be around doing what he wants, just using Vance to get his way. Trump could also just leave office and we vote in a new president in 2028, but Trump has exposed so much of what we need to change as a country.

Clearly the guardrails put in place cannot be enforced if those put into power to enforce those powers do absolutely nothing. I don't understand how MAGA can see everything they claimed President Obama was going to do happen and be fine with it, but I guess that's why we consider it a cult. All these years, they were just projecting. Republicans and conservatives worried about Obama taking their guns, locking them up, or killing them because deep down, that's what they want to do to Democrats and other liberals.

And don't worry. I understand the irony of me alluding to Hitler/Mussolini for the Trump Administration, but there needs to be consequences of great magnitude to insure that someone else who might want to do this, will think twice.

February 21, 1967

ACAB includes dog catchers. When I watch TV or movies, I often see things and am like "Nope, I'd be out." I gotta chase this dog around, trying to catch it? I'm out. I'm going to break into this house over the holidays, but a little brat just shot me in the balls with some little steel balls? I'm out. I'm not going to break my body mentally and physically for my job. I can't. I won't.

I wonder how Chip came up with toothpaste as his solution to the correction fluid situation. He's just running around the house in a panic and frustrated trying to find different white colored things he can smear over ink.

Chip's wife, watching him try to finish this comic.

The Next Billie Eilish

September 20, 1987

Is Gladys okay? Should I be concerned about her health or her drinking?

Does Gladys need to use the car? Why is she walking away from it? Look, I get that you could just chalk it up to "Gladys isn't the sharpest tool in the shed" or whatever, but this goes beyond that. Far beyond...

I always like seeing people I know doing things I would never think they were good at. It would make sense Hurricane Hattie would be good at singing considering that she probably broke the arm of one of the other kids at the concert just last week.

Of all the throwaway panels in the world, this is the throw-awayiest.

The annual holiday post is up. 1959's Little Gabe and the Golden Stars by Walt Scott. If you would like to support me or this website, you can click the link at the top of the page.

What do you want for Christmas, Wilberforce? Real estate.

Supergirl from Warner Bros. and DC Studios comes out in June of 2026 and, just based on what little teases we've had, I'm excited. I've always been a Supergirl fan whether it's the Silver Age lost cousin, the protoplasmic alien who then becomes an angel, or the modern lost cousin, Supergirl has always intrigued me because she's Superman but without his upbringing. She had to learn to be super on her own. She makes mistakes and her moral compass may not be pointed true north.

The movie is based on Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow which was a miniseries from June 2021 to February 2022 by Tom King and Bilquis Evely. A True Grit-esque space adventure where Supergirl tries to help a young girl after her father is murdered, it is a wonderful with beautiful art by Evely. While there are many stories of Supergirl that could be adapted, Woman of Tomorrow makes the most sense as it is an action-packed and heartfelt story that is easily accessible since it just came out a few years ago and it comes from a normal origined Supergirl. Anyway, I plan on checking out this movie. It's nice seeing Superman movies actually being made for Superman fans who love the character and are inspired by him.

I don't think I ever mentioned this, but back in 1997 or 1998, I wrote a Superman story where he's in a trenchcoat most of the time. because I wore a trenchcoat most of the time. You can imagine my frustration when Smallville had Clark wear a trenchcoat as part of his costume.

And now Supergirl is wearing one. Is the trenchcoat making a comeback? Should I start wearing one again?

January 26, 1967

What the hell song is this? I looked up the lyrics and I couldn't find them. Did Art just make up a song or new lyrics to a song called "Autumn Air"? I don't know what he's singing or if this guy is a popular singer or not, all I know is that he swallowed a fly. I hate when flies just hang around you. Aren't there any other, smellier, people you could buzz around? Wait. Are you suggesting that I'm the smelliest one in the room?!

There's only, like, one more week of school (ymmv). Most any work given out now is just busy work and won't be graded. Though I will point out that Wilberforce should've sent that letter to Santa shortly after Thanksgiving. Santa/your parents are already done shopping for you, you little ingrate.

You can check out the awesome teaser trailer for Supergirl here.

Thanksgiving Homework

January 11, 1967

"This side up" "Team lift" "Fragile" No box is going to tell me what to do!

The last few years, my school district has been giving us the entire week of Thanksgiving off. We used to go Monday and Tuesday and get Wednesday through Friday off. That Monday and Tuesday were basically pointless because the kids were ready to leave, some had already left, and you are ending a lesson but reluctant to start a new one. I can't imagine going to school Monday through Wednesday. Why don't they get Wednesday off? Are we really supposed to start our Thanksgiving travels after school lets out at 3:00?

Everyone Is Familiar With Brutus

January 5, 1967

I love bird names. So many letters just to say "Eastern towhee".

I understand why Brutus is looking at that woman. She's gigantic! She's over six foot tall, she has to be. She's okay, right? Her gargantuan height isn't going to kill her is it? She looks like she's living her best life though.

Hmm. Wilberforce and Hattie must be in different classes this year. Or maybe the teacher dyed her hair black in the last week.

It would've been funny if yesterday's comic was Brutus actually setting up today's strip. "Hey, Pop, can you help me with my homework?" "Sure, what do you need help with?" "What's a gnu?" "Nothing much, what's gnu with you? Hyuk hyuk!" But again, I don't have a successful syndicated comic strip.

You Know What Grinds My Gears...?

We have officially entered 1967 in our reprints of the daily Born Loser classics. Brutus and his family are not quite yet the stars (although I've been tagging them as such) but all the characters are there--Brutus, Gladys, Wilberforce, Veeblefester (currently called Veeblefetzer), and Mother Gargle. I have noticed that we get a bit more Agnes Dooley (the maid character) and Apex Doob in the coming month which I am incredibly excited for.

If you would like to further support these classic comic strips, you can go to the Support link at the top of the page.

January 3, 1967

Women be shopping, amirite? Look, I understand not wanting to spend money but if you got it, spend it. It's 1967, things are so much cheaper and better quality and very few things have succumbed to the darkness that is capitalism.

I think I've asked this, but was women buying new clothes really a thing that happened a lot back then like pop culture would lead us to believe? I know it was a major plot point on many episodes of I Love Lucy but that's not real life.

There are 7 hours in a school day, you putz. I don't like it when kids complain about going to school. I didn't even like when kids complained when I was a kid. We have to do it, just hold your nose and close your eyes and get through it.

Tingley

 

December 27, 1966

I'm going out on a limb here, and considering it's still around Christmas time, is that supposed to be mistletoe? Maybe she's trying to grow it out enough so it can strangle Brutus.

Hurricane Hattie knows more than you, teach. She's just going through the motions until she can finally take over the world in ten to twelve years.