After Dinner Ailment

September 15, 1967

Ok, I'm not calling the police to chat. If I'm calling the police, then I need the police in some capacity. I'm not calling to talk about my neighborhood, which is looking a little less nice now that I've been hogtied and robbed!

Have we eaten and are now just sitting and drinking coffee to settle our stomachs or something? I'm glad Wilberforce got to eat dinner, but what he's still there for?

Can We Call Him Morty Miata Now?

Dolly Parton

1946 - 2026

"Love to hear that Dolly Parton sing!" 

September 7, 1967

I'm glad that Wilberforce is ACAB, but maybe save that for when you can get your own consequences.

Yeah, we're worrying about boulevard stops when kids are just flopping around unprotected in the backseat.

Who's "they"? I have a coworker who drives an orange Dodge Charger and if you saw him, you would not think this guy would drive a car like that. I don't think anybody says "you can learn about a person by the type of car they drive to work" and you can't convince me otherwise.

Sometimes Brutus drives. And once, Veeblefester gave him a lift.

I Want to See Gladys In High Heels

September 6, 1967

I always considered Brutus' hair as "bald" or maybe, and I'm being very generous here, "balding". Thinning makes it seem like he has hair on top and in front.

Maybe someday I'll go through all the jobs that Brutus has held before Art settled on him being a tea cozy salesman for Veeblefester. It'll be a long list like Homer Simpson's employment history.

Look, I have mad respect for the job title of "Mom" but what's Gladys got going on that's so rough? Was she spending hours cleaning up rivers of dog vomit? Her only child is old enough that he needs limited supervision and she never seems to run errands.

How does Wilberforce know the "Ginger Rogers backwards and in high heels" trope?

This Monday was so bad it sucked the color from life.

What's Mother Gargle Got Against Charles Laughton?

August 12, 1967

This time it's just traffic cones. Next time, people might not be so lucky.

I'm assuming Mother Gargle watched the 1939 version starring Charles Laughton and Maureen O'Hara. I don't care who stars in that story, everybody is ugly--Quasimodo, Frollo, the gargoyles. If someone wants to compare you to something in The Hunchback of Notre-Dame just turn around and leave.

Brutus' Crossed Arms Look Like Stumps

November 29, 1987

Now this makes a lot more sense then this. I can certainly believe Veeblefester would employ Brutus to push his car to save gas (re: money) than Veeblefester stopping and picking up Brutus who needs a ride based on some old family story about Henry Ford.

I don't like when Brutus has an existential crisis. Those aren't funny and I don't want to further precipitate his slide into depression. But I do want to question the "know-it-all" when Brutus was a kid. Really? Was Brutus pretty smart as a child? It's a shame the adults in his life were terrible, but thus is the life of an American child.

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You wear your glasses all the time, why are you just setting them down?

Michael J. Nelson (center) with Crow T. Robot and
Bill Corbett (left) and Tom Servo and Kevin Murphy
(right). Photo from Murphy's Instagram.

If you haven't heard the news, the original (next to original?) cast of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is going to make four new episodes. If you don't know MST3K, it ran from 1989 until 1999 and again from 2017 to 2018 and again in 2022. It mocked bad movies using the premise of a guy trapped in space with his robot friends. It's partly the reason younger Gen X and Millennials are so sarcastic. Dubbed the RiffTrax Experiments, this will be a continuation from the Mike Nelson era (1993-1999) of the show. I will admit that I am on the fence about this. Although I will happily watch all four episodes and maybe even pledge money to their Kickstarter.

To me it seems strange that no one wanted to be a part of the 2017 revival when original creator Joel Hodgson was bringing it back, but suddenly everyone is on board. Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy (who voiced Tom Servo) and Bill Corbett (who voiced Crow) had their own movie-mocking enterprise in RiffTrax which is very popular so you could see why maybe they didn't want to be a part of it, and Murphy and Corbett ultimately did return as Professor Bobo (Murphy) and Brain Guy (Corbett) with Mary Jo Pehl's Pearl Forrester for a guest appearance. But I'm glad to see everyone back and hope there are no hard feelings between each other. It's something to look forward to in 2026 when there might be very little to look forward to.

March 23, 1967

Years ago, a friend of mine got a speeding ticket for going 45 in a 35. I looked at the ticket and asked him where he got pulled over. He said "In front of the McDonald's on 23rd Street." I looked at the address on the ticket and it read "900 block of E. 23rd St." McDonald's wasn't on East 23rd Street, it's on West 23rd Street. I looked and the speed limit for the 900 block of East 23rd Street is 45. I encouraged my friend to actually go to court and fight it. But he didn't. What I'm saying is Brutus isn't parked, he is idling and the sign doesn't say he can't do that.

We just talked about Uncle Ted's glasses last week. He didn't get a new prescription, but new frames. I guess his eyesight is fine except for having to move his chair one foot closer to the TV.

Toothpaste Was Probably One of the Better Choices

*Sigh* Someday. (You can add Noem, RFK Jr., Patel, whoever you want
to either side of who I have labeled Vance and Johnson.)

I'll be honest, this is the only logical way out of this. Even if we do elections in November and can get Trump impeached, Vance is still there and Trump will still be around doing what he wants, just using Vance to get his way. Trump could also just leave office and we vote in a new president in 2028, but Trump has exposed so much of what we need to change as a country.

Clearly the guardrails put in place cannot be enforced if those put into power to enforce those powers do absolutely nothing. I don't understand how MAGA can see everything they claimed President Obama was going to do happen and be fine with it, but I guess that's why we consider it a cult. All these years, they were just projecting. Republicans and conservatives worried about Obama taking their guns, locking them up, or killing them because deep down, that's what they want to do to Democrats and other liberals.

And don't worry. I understand the irony of me alluding to Hitler/Mussolini for the Trump Administration, but there needs to be consequences of great magnitude to insure that someone else who might want to do this, will think twice.

February 21, 1967

ACAB includes dog catchers. When I watch TV or movies, I often see things and am like "Nope, I'd be out." I gotta chase this dog around, trying to catch it? I'm out. I'm going to break into this house over the holidays, but a little brat just shot me in the balls with some little steel balls? I'm out. I'm not going to break my body mentally and physically for my job. I can't. I won't.

I wonder how Chip came up with toothpaste as his solution to the correction fluid situation. He's just running around the house in a panic and frustrated trying to find different white colored things he can smear over ink.

Chip's wife, watching him try to finish this comic.

Dog Rules

November 26, 2025

I like how it looks like Jimmy is marching down the street giving everyone the finger. "Fuck you, Westfinster! Respect your God, Jimmy!"

January 12, 1967

The cop pulled him over from the front?

A boulevard stop is apparently when you yield to the traffic on a priority street, like from a smaller street or private drive. I've never heard it called that, but I wasn't born during the Great Depression.

Dog show. I will choose dog show 100% of the time. I hope Kewpie is ready and willing to fight for this dog show, because I am.

Six A.M. Smells

September 28, 1966

It took me a minute but Blackie has killed at least four people in this shoot-out. Good for him!

I like how the sheriff star on his hat is just an asterisk. Just a tiny butthole on his head.

I'm the same way. I will wake up like an animal with an alarm, but if you just let it happen, I'm in a better mood. I hate waking up in the morning. I especially hate waking up and then having to do stuff.

The + symbols in the eyes when these characters are excited are weird. +s and Xs are a symbol for death. They'd be much more at home in the first panel.

See?

Bald Is Beautiful

March 30, 1966

So is Rocky in there? Or is Rocky so sure that Detective Not-Yet-Brutus won't get backup and actually do anything? At first I thought it was the moon rising, but then I realized it's the sun going down and the moon appearing later.

Is he at the docks?

I swear to God if Brutus ordered something from Hims...

Brutus, you look fine. I'd actually recommend you just shave whatever hair you do have. You'd look like...well, I don't want to say the name of one of the handsome famous bald men...

Never Steal Anything Wet

February 26, 1966

How "stolen" is this car? If the police know it's missing then that could be a problem, but if no one knows then a stolen police car could be an asset. People won't look twice at it, it won't be pulled over, and you can play with the lights and siren.

I'm glad to see our mobsters back. I mean, I don't think it's exactly the same mobsters, but it's nearly a month later. Mobsters die all the time.

Is Beach Blanket Bingo a boring movie? I mean, it's a stupid teenager beach party film but isn't it one of the better ones that most people know? I've never seen it, but I have seen Catalina Caper and that isn't boring at all.

Weigh Your Weight Away

I wrote this post about John Quincy Adams back before the 2016 election. Adams is quite possibly the most qualified person to ever run for president. Sadly, dirty D.C. politics and Andrew Jackson would screw up what could've been a very prominent legacy.

February 22, 1966

Now you might be thinking that the officer will understand and take the dog stealing his hat as a little joke. Ha ha. Right? Well, all cops are bastards so this man will at least get a long lecture about watching where you play with your dog all while using his nightstick to get his point across.

Did the bone knock the hat off? Did the dog jump to take the hat? Was the hat already on the ground? Is the policeman lying dead in an alley?

Ok, but are either of you going to use the bathroom...?

The Night Before Crimmis

January 26, 1966

I don't know how infrastructure was back in the 1960s but good luck not stepping on a crack while walking on a sidewalk these days.

I love when policemen argue like family and friends. Just kiss already.

I'd rather have visions of sugar plums dancing in my head for a dream than some of the ones I've been having. Hanging out in a laundromat? I haven't stepped foot in a laundromat since 2005.

Ah, Sweet Love

Organized in 1897, the Topeka Women's Club built and moved into their beautiful brick building in 1925. Due to declining membership, the Women's Club sold the building to the Kansas Insurance Department in the 1980s. When the department moved out in 2020, the building remained abandoned until purchased to be renovated into an event space The Beacon.

I didn't include pictures of the many Tiffany stained glass windows in the original post but pictured here is the window honoring education that was installed in the theater.

June 15, 1986

If you're going to jaywalk, do it better. Don't just run out in front of the cars. Wait until there's some space. Or, if I'd rather, just walk the extra 50-75 feet to the nearest crosswalk.

In the first panel, Brutus is clearly at a crosswalk/intersection. You can't just wait for the light to change? Then you deserve to get hit by a car.

Well, this marriage isn't going to last. What? They've been together more than ten years? I do not want to pay Wilberforce's therapy bills.

Brutus interrupts her twice, but one of those times is in the throwaway panels so getting mad at Brutus over one instance makes Gladys seem like a huge jerkass. Knowing what your spouse is going to say is cute. Not according to Gladys, I guess.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

And Then Eggs

October 29, 1965

I absolutely love the hairy legs and the high heels. That is some delightful detail. But I am wondering what country they are supposed to be in. Ghana? Myanmar?

Eggshells apparently contain your daily intake of calcium so eat up! Just don't puncture your throat on the sharp edges(!). Though, to be fair, I don't think you should hear and feel the way the shells crunch as you eat.

Why Don't You Both Hush Up?

September 1, 1965

It's going to be fun seeing how many jobs this proto-Brutus has. Will it be more or less than Homer Simpson?

Shakespeare Didn't Say That

August 20, 1965

This would be my luck. I'd be sent to prison and when I finally orchestrate my escape that's when I'd be pardoned or my conviction vacated or something.

Of course, I would never wind up in prison so if I ever am in prison, it's because I was framed and serving time for a crime I didn't commit so me orchestrating an escape would make sense because of our deeply flawed criminal justice system.

I wonder what Smirdly did and how he got ahold of a hacksaw.

"Har, har! That's hilarious. Just put in the order and get my food."

Happy Birthday, Mother Gargle! Hope You Like Crap!

July 15, 1965

The United States entered the Vietnam War in March 1965. This riot could also be because of the Voting Rights Act which would be signed into law in August 1965. I guess we'll know which protest this is for when we learn the degree of violence the police use to stop it.

Is that "WAF" or "WAP"? It's "WAP" right?

Eldercactus

"Why can't I just spend a dollar? She's not my mother."

And you know Brutus just grabbed the first thing as he walked through the doors. Chances are, Brutus just bought whatever was on this poorly displayed table:

Diner Dilemma

Get reacquainted with Brimstone. You know Heathcliff. You know Garfield. Get to know Brimstone. Created by Vahan Shirvanian (1925-2013), Brimstone initially appeared in the comic No Comment a gag-a-day pantomime strip. No Comment began April 9, 1979 and was syndicated by King Features. Eventually the pantomime was dropped and an elephant became a recurring character. Shirvanian then introduced an orange and black cat named Brimstone. No Comment, now fully starring Brimstone, ended on April 25, 1982. Four books reprinting No Comment strips were published, three of them focusing only on Brimstone.

You can read more about Brimstone from King Features here. My post on Brimstone can be found here.

June 28, 1965

He's standing in quicksand in case you can't read that sign. Why are we waiting 200 seconds? This marshal deserves to drown in quicksand. Just count to ten and start blastin'.

No one is making you eat there! Bring your own lunch! Have something DoorDash'd! Just go someplace else! There has to be something just as close as that diner. There just has to be...

The final Brimstone daily from April 24, 1982. Brimstone apparently left the gas station and found
a home with a pretty young girl.