Wouldn't Everything Be Blurry Before Putting On Your Glasses Anyway?

September 30, 1967

Rake. Rake. Rake.

I can't believe we're missing nearly half a month of The Born Loser for September 1967. I'm sure I could find them, but just a quick search didn't give me what I needed. I'll need to try to find them and maybe put them as a special post or something.

One thing I did find was this ad for The Born Loser being added to some newspaper in 1997. I feel like if your newspaper didn't already have Frank and Ernest or The Born Loser by 1997, then maybe your readers don't really need them.

Brutus Thornapple a precursor to Homer Simpson? That's a bold statement. I wouldn't go that far. Brutus and Homer are not similar at all. Although I think you could argue that today's Brutus is more like Homer because that has been our baseline for pop culture fathers for 40 years.

"I went to the doctor today...and he did everything he could but...I am in perfect health." There's got to be a better way to open this conversation than making me worried that Uncle Ted is going blind. Love and care for your eyes, people!

You wear your glasses all the time, why are you just setting them down?

Michael J. Nelson (center) with Crow T. Robot and
Bill Corbett (left) and Tom Servo and Kevin Murphy
(right). Photo from Murphy's Instagram.

If you haven't heard the news, the original (next to original?) cast of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is going to make four new episodes. If you don't know MST3K, it ran from 1989 until 1999 and again from 2017 to 2018 and again in 2022. It mocked bad movies using the premise of a guy trapped in space with his robot friends. It's partly the reason younger Gen X and Millennials are so sarcastic. Dubbed the RiffTrax Experiments, this will be a continuation from the Mike Nelson era (1993-1999) of the show. I will admit that I am on the fence about this. Although I will happily watch all four episodes and maybe even pledge money to their Kickstarter.

To me it seems strange that no one wanted to be a part of the 2017 revival when original creator Joel Hodgson was bringing it back, but suddenly everyone is on board. Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy (who voiced Tom Servo) and Bill Corbett (who voiced Crow) had their own movie-mocking enterprise in RiffTrax which is very popular so you could see why maybe they didn't want to be a part of it, and Murphy and Corbett ultimately did return as Professor Bobo (Murphy) and Brain Guy (Corbett) with Mary Jo Pehl's Pearl Forrester for a guest appearance. But I'm glad to see everyone back and hope there are no hard feelings between each other. It's something to look forward to in 2026 when there might be very little to look forward to.

March 23, 1967

Years ago, a friend of mine got a speeding ticket for going 45 in a 35. I looked at the ticket and asked him where he got pulled over. He said "In front of the McDonald's on 23rd Street." I looked at the address on the ticket and it read "900 block of E. 23rd St." McDonald's wasn't on East 23rd Street, it's on West 23rd Street. I looked and the speed limit for the 900 block of East 23rd Street is 45. I encouraged my friend to actually go to court and fight it. But he didn't. What I'm saying is Brutus isn't parked, he is idling and the sign doesn't say he can't do that.

We just talked about Uncle Ted's glasses last week. He didn't get a new prescription, but new frames. I guess his eyesight is fine except for having to move his chair one foot closer to the TV.

Suddenly I See...

August 31, 1966

Everything about Agnes here is great. From the tattoo to leaning on the broom and that cigar dangling between her fingers *chef's kiss*.

*gets new glasses* "Wow! I've never seen so well in my life! *looks in mirror* Oh, god. I'm hideous... *sobs*"

Being rejuvenated is more of a feeling that you don't need good vision for, but whatever Uncle Ted.

Cooking Mama

January 9, 1978

Glasses help you see, not make people look better. Mother Gargle isn't going to suddenly be pleasant and easy to look at just because you have glasses.

Why can't Mother Gargle be pleasant? Who hurt her?

From 2021.

Keep Your Hands Where I Can See Them

September 13, 1976

Look at Hattie's mom. She's terrified!

I like how Brutus had to tie Hattie up in order to drag her back home. That's the Hattie I know and love. And you know she can slip out of that rope at any time.

I am just going to ignore everything about what's going on in this strip and focus on the dog mug. I'm thinking it's a personalized one of a loyal pup Uncle Ted owned and lost years ago. Jake was an amazing dog. Such a good boy.

Much better than this Brutus guy.

Wednesday Quickie

Nah, we don't need to say that.

Solo: An Uncle Ted Story

I'm not on board with this Uncle Ted-heavy strip.

How can your bifocals be upside down? Surely you didn't put them on upside down. Are they new glasses and the eye doctor put them in upside down? I just...today's comic seems irresponsible, honestly.

Secret Identity

I know Gladys is using Clark Kent as an insult here but Clark Kent is pretty awesome. Even as a journalist, he stands up for truth and justice and works to find corruption in every aspect of government, business, and in every day life. He's also a nice person with a steady job, cares about this planet and its people, and has a really good build despite wearing glasses.

Not to mention Clark was/is able to get Lois Lane, Lana Lang, and Cat Grant so there's also that.

1122: What an Oddly Worded Second Panel

I don't care how many strips we get telling us that Brutus needs glasses, we are never going to see Brutus in glasses other than reading glasses.

Should Be Wearing Glasses All the Time If Your Eyesight Is That Bad

Brutus' face is not conducive to wearing glasses. His nose his too bulbous, his ears too odd looking and his eyes, too close together. Also, I don't think we've ever seen Brutus in glasses. He was doing the bills a couple weeks ago and he wasn't wearing them. I know what Chip should ask Santa for Christmas. A sense of continuity.