Decision 2026

 

In 1888, H.D. Booge bought some land hoping to turn it into a suburb of Topeka, Kansas. This was just one of many business ventures he would come up with. Although you might consider the term "business venture" a nicer way of saying "scam".

Take a look at Chicago Heights and several other of Booge's money-making attempts.

 

 

 

October 5, 1967

Speech disorders are no laughing matter! If this guy is employed by a company, then good on that company for hiring someone with a speech impediment that makes singing Italian stereotype songs difficult. If he's self-employed, does he still make decent money? Is it a lot of pity fares?

Mm. So Brutus is still indecisive. This will not do. Not do at all.

I feel Brutus goes out of his way in order to not make a decision. You can't be blamed and things can't be your fault if things just happen!

I Want to See Gladys In High Heels

September 6, 1967

I always considered Brutus' hair as "bald" or maybe, and I'm being very generous here, "balding". Thinning makes it seem like he has hair on top and in front.

Maybe someday I'll go through all the jobs that Brutus has held before Art settled on him being a tea cozy salesman for Veeblefester. It'll be a long list like Homer Simpson's employment history.

Look, I have mad respect for the job title of "Mom" but what's Gladys got going on that's so rough? Was she spending hours cleaning up rivers of dog vomit? Her only child is old enough that he needs limited supervision and she never seems to run errands.

How does Wilberforce know the "Ginger Rogers backwards and in high heels" trope?

This Monday was so bad it sucked the color from life.

Even Wilberforce Is Confused "You mean Dad?"

June 12, 1988

Isn't there somewhere else you can go to get away from the soap opera, Brutus? There is no need to act like a 6-year-old.

Calm down, Wilberforce. You are nine. Life changers and new situations are still a few years away. At least Wilberforce has a father he can talk to about stuff. Some of us had to be our own fathers. Wait. What?

Brutus Came First, Brutus Should Be the Eldest Child

May 15, 1988

Who's on first? Just keep your car for 3000 more dollars! Or lease a car, I don't know how that works but I've heard about it! I'm surprised Ace Motor Sales waited until the last panel to hang up on Brutus. I would've been done at panel 2 or 3.

Here's Mother Gargle not helping again. To be fair, lots of people have raised children, it's not some huge accomplish. The worst people in the world have raised children or have been child-rearing adjacent. How about we wait a few years to see how Wilberforce will turn out?

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The Best Advice

It's been a busy weekend. Yesterday, the third installment of Dusty Chaps went up, and I did a quick look on social media at an old edition of Robinson Crusoe we have on display at the store. Go check those out and if you would like to support me or this website, you can throw some money at the About page.

April 17, 1988

"Skinny Skooby" is a terrible name for a diet supplement, especially one that I'm assuming is supposed to be like SlimFast. It should be called something like "ChocoDiet" or "DrinkWeight". "Skinny Skooby" sounds more like something in 2009 than 1988.

Hey, Padre, stop haranguing the children. I know that Reverend has a name, I don't think I've actually seen it in print yet.

Based on my limited knowledge of Uncle Ted, he doesn't seem like a "born loser" like Brutus. If anything, he's just a normal man going through life the best he knows how. So, I guess it makes sense that Brutus goes to him for advice.

This also makes me question if being a "born loser" is hereditary. I always figured Uncle Ted was Brutus' father's brother so does the "born loser" trait come from the mother's side? Or is calling yourself a "born loser" just abdicating responsibility for why you are a terrible human being?

Brutus Would Rather Go To Therapy But Can't Afford It

What's wrong with his hand?!

One of my favorite books is, well, it is my favorite book, East of Eden by John Steinbeck. It's a family chronicle detailing the lives of the Trask family and Hamilton family in Salinas, California. One of the characters, Cathy Ames, is just evil. She uses her attractiveness to manipulate and ultimately destroy people. One of the things that happen as Cathy gets older is she develops arthritis in her hands and it's suggested that her hands age much more than the rest of her as she uses a lot of beauty cream and lotions on them. I'm just making observations, but if my hand looked like that, I'd wear gloves.

June 22, 1967

Jesus Christ, you can't not smoke for a four floor elevator ride? Can you take the stairs? Can you smoke in the stairwell?

I like that it's not even "You can talk to me." (there's not even a period so she's not even saying a sentence) Gladys just goes "You talk to me" indicating, as Brutus complains, she does not listen. "Work, and capitalism in general, is beating me down, honey. I don't know if I can handle it anymore." "Mm-hmm. That's great. More coffee?"

Tuna Tuesday

May 23, 1967

Yes, every man--every human--must face up to responsibility at some point in their life. Unless you are politician. Unless you are a CEO. Unless you are a celebrity. Unless you are unbelievably wealthy. Unless you are six degrees separated from the right people. Unless...

What's Brutus doing? Is he doing a "everything the light touches is our kingdom" thing?

I like tuna. I should eat more tuna. Not eight cans worth of tuna, but at least tuna keeps.

We're a beret family now.

Mother Gargle Didn't Say That, It Was the Shirelles

May 12, 1967

What are we doing here? Is this man a doctor? An insurance agent? I guess a doctor can see if Brutus has a concussion or little holes in his head. Insurance agents seems less likely. The bird probably does not have insurance and Brutus' head isn't like Mary Hart's legs.

We're going to spend an entire week in a yellow void but on Friday, the last day, you change the void to a light blue!? "Oh, gosh!" the nameless United Features Syndicate colorist intern exclaims, "I have made the background of all of this week's strip yellow! I should choose a different color for this one. It just makes sense." Blue. I can't believe it. I just can't believe it...

But He Has That Pencil In His Ear Like He Was Working...

April 28, 1967

What's going on? Is Brutus drunk? Is he having an "episode"? Does he have...what are those called? The vapors? The doldrums? Whatever it is, Gladys is not amused.

Oop. He got caught.

This week has been very up-and-down for Brutus. He's sleeping half the day away, he's getting yelled at, he's getting caught sleeping, Veeblefester's nose has lost all its color. Who knows what Thursday and Friday will bring?

What Did He Expect?

April 20, 1967

I like Sally. I sometimes wish I had a troublesome neighbor girl who bothered me. Kind of like Dennis the Menace, but more in the vein of today's Hurricane Hattie. Maybe Elmo from Blondie. I don't want them to vandalize my property, I just want them say and do funny things around me and consider me a safe person to talk to.

Did someone else write 'disappoint'? Or at least the 'oint' part?

I am officially going to be working at a historic site in my city for the foreseeable future. So I guess my day wasn't disappointing. Hopefully I will be greeting guests at our 1870 mansion for years to come.

Brutus' Crossed Arms Look Like Stumps

November 29, 1987

Now this makes a lot more sense then this. I can certainly believe Veeblefester would employ Brutus to push his car to save gas (re: money) than Veeblefester stopping and picking up Brutus who needs a ride based on some old family story about Henry Ford.

I don't like when Brutus has an existential crisis. Those aren't funny and I don't want to further precipitate his slide into depression. But I do want to question the "know-it-all" when Brutus was a kid. Really? Was Brutus pretty smart as a child? It's a shame the adults in his life were terrible, but thus is the life of an American child.

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Wait Until Hattie Learns There's a Skiing Event Where You Shoot Guns

November 22, 1987

I will be honest that I miss living in an era where you had to call people in order to get information. You want the temperature? You have to call. You want to know what the official languages are in Djibouti? You have to call the library. You want to know if our lives are controlled by nature or nurture? You have to call the psych department at the local university.

You would think Brutus would absolutely be against "heredity" making him, and by extension Wilberforce, who they are. At least Brutus gets $10. $10 that is technically his money anyway since he's the only one who works and he and Gladys are married, but $10 nonetheless.

This is a great example of why you rarely use current events in your comic strip. You created this tribute to a great skier, who is inspiring Hattie to become an Olympic champion, and all people will think about while reading this is...

Anyway, he's to Hurricane Hattie learning to ski. I know she's stuck in an infinite comic strip time loop, but let's encourage every little girl and all of their dreams.

Notice No One Is Sitting Near Him

March 4, 1967

Turtle shells don't look like rocks. Gladys is right to be apprehensive. Brutus clearly doesn't know what he's doing. I'm more outdoorsy than Brutus.

People are being dragged out of their homes in freezing weather by federal agents, people are being gassed in the streets, the president is allowing pedophiles and murderers get away with their crimes, meanwhile he's also pardoning people who actively and purposely hurt and stole from other people because they toss him a few dollars. But, sure, YOU have problems, Brutus.

I'm gonna go outside and drown myself in the river by stepping on a turtle that looks like a rock.

R 💘 L

Trump lied--I know, right? Donald Trump lying?--about the Insurrection Act today. He claimed it was invoked by nearly 50% of the presidents dozens of times. The Insurrection Act has only been invoked by 15 presidents (there's only been 45) and only 29 times. Trump claims President George H.W. Bush used the Insurrection Act 28 times. In reality, Bush 41 only invoked the Insurrection Act twice. Once to suppress looting in the Virgin Islands and, at the request of city and state leaders, during the Los Angeles riots after the Rodney King verdict.

If you look at the list of invocations, the Insurrection Act is only used as a temporary solution taking roughly 24 hours. It's not something used to take control of a city and use as an excuse to stop elections. President Ulysses Grant used the Insurrection Act the most with 6 times. And most of those were white supremacist uprisings after the Civil War.

Anyway, I know that Trump is a moron and he's constantly lying and lies so much that he can't really keep them all straight, but doesn't anyone else find his lying tiring? This is easily findable information. Now, I can understand your average Trump supporter not knowing or understanding or knowing where to get the information that as a part of NATO, the United States is required to defend other NATO countries and they are required to help defend us, so making threats against Denmark/Greenland seems like bad politicking but this Insurrection Act stuff is just maddening. And I swear that sometimes he just brings up stuff like this as some form of gloating. "Hey, look what I know. I bet none of you have heard of this. I'm big brain man! I passed three cognitive tests."

February 28, 1967

"Rotten...Rotten...Rotten...both work and home. I hate you all."

Kewpie's still a fan though.

Oh, well Happy *mumbles random numbers*th Anniversary, Veeblefester. Of course their marriage has lasted. Someone stands to lose a lot of money if they get divorced and neither Rancid or Lividea want to do that. They both have become accustomed to a certain lifestyle and can't go back to being one of the poors.

Sunday Q&A

August 16, 1987

Brutus has a sister?! I wonder if she looks as much like Brutus as his mom does. I like when Brutus has his own family and not just Uncle Ted. They know to stay away and live their own life, unlike Mother Gargle.

Two of these questions are very easy to answer. Lightning is caused by warm air and cold air becoming charged due to the static. The sky is blue because the water droplets in the sky are reflecting the sun. What wouldn't Wilberforce understand about that? As for the other questions, the jury is still out on if the chicken or egg came first but most suggest the egg came first and there are twelve months in a year due to the lunar cycle and to coincide with the seasons. These are all very baseline questions that most of the general population should know. Maybe Brutus was kicked by a horse in his early 20s, I don't know.

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Self-Identified Rebel

November 26, 1966

Don't apologize. It's clear the stairs aren't there so why would he walk out? You can probably put those back. He won't need them anymore. Or keep going, maybe run him over.

I'm just imagining Brutus here as President Trump, who also can't really use airplane stairs.

"Why are you like this, Brutus? What are you rebelling against?" "What do ya got?" Brutus snarls while smoking and wearing sunglasses.

I don't believe for a second that Brutus ever rebelled in his life. I mean, look at him. People who rebel don't look like that.

Mr. Wrong

November 19, 1966

Hmm. We all know what Calvin Coolidge looks like. What do the others look like?

Bronislau "Bronko" Nagurski, 1908-1990
Photo from 1937.

Thelonius Monk, 1917-1982
Photo from 1947.

These seem like two reasonably attractive men. I get what the joke is but it's only offensive if you want it to be offensive. Own that look! If anything, the real insult is Calvin Coolidge. He looks nothing like either of these men.

Yep, she's better. I, once again, wonder why Brutus says this stuff in front of Mother Gargle. Maybe Brutus likes being dunked on by Mother Gargle. Maybe his own mother used to do that.

Fore! Cast.

June 21, 1987

Jesus, Veeblefester and his company has been through a lot. Maybe that's why Brutus is never fired. No one is sure if he's good luck or bad luck. Did he save the company from bankruptcy or help cause the bankruptcy? Did Brutus being around break Veeblefester's leg or did Brutus keep Veeblefester from dying? Who knows?

Brutus should go out and play golf now instead of waiting. I like how Uncle Ted seems more technologically inclined than Brutus.

President Trump has declared, or at least suggested because they all use weasel-words so when they are called out they can go "That's not what I said!", that coverage of him is "illegal" and "not free speech". This follows the crackdown on people making snarky and/or poor taste comments on Charlie Kirk's death and the firing of Jimmy Kimmel. I don't necessarily talk about politics on here because the comics don't warrant it, but if the federal government starts putting limits on speech, then we no longer have free speech. It's right there in the Constitution--IT'S THE FIRST ONE!!

You can go read Saturday's post on Boswell Park in Topeka, Kansas. If you wish to support me or this website, you can go here.

Take It Easy

September 13, 1966

Assuming this guy works at a toy factory, in what world does a child want a wind-up toy of this random man? "It's the hottest toy this season: Thornapple from Engineering! Wind him up and watch him go!" Who's the audience for that? Me and maybe two other people?

Is this like a Small Wonder situation where he built dozens (hundreds?!) of small human-like toys and not one horrifying human-like toy?

"Kill. Murder. Destroy."

It's not (completely) your fault, Brutus. We were promised that we could have a good job for 30-40 years that pays well to raise a family on and corporations broke that social promise by prioritizing making the people who don't actually do any work more money. Burn down the system, kids. Burn. It. Down.

Kitchen to Clean? Yard to Mow?

August 1, 1966

Yeah, yeah. You know what I usually say with these type of comics. I want to point out how these monkeys remind me of my Mom's coconut monkey. When she passed, I, of course, got it. It's older than I am. It's currently sitting on a shelf in the living room. It doesn't eavesdrop and gossip like these monkeys clearly do.

Do the Thornapples not have regular cable TV? What are they doing? Your lives are boring even with wi-fi. I never see you on a computer and barely see you on your phones. Y'all always have things to do around the house, and here you are just sitting on the couch.

If you plan on protesting, be safe out there.