Brutus Is Going to Get Hit With a Wooden Spoon

August 31, 1967

Where do Brutus'(?) feet go? On the wheel hump? Seems uncomfortable and kind of dangerous--as we can see.

I had to write a motorcycle scene in this story (main character was riding on the back of his girlfriend's motorcycle) I am writing and I have never been on a motorcycle so I just treated it like the character was riding a roller coaster. That works, right?

Why is Brutus completely discounting boxed brownie mix? Is Gladys so bad at baking that she can't even stir together a mix, eggs, and oil?

Frozen brownies you just put in the microwave? I need to try this new technology!

He Needs a New Bike So He Can Better Represent Cleveland

August 7, 1967

We're just going to ignore that Brutus is running around in a bunny costume. I don't know what color the costume is supposed to be, but I imagine it being pink.

He looks like a deranged Easter bunny. A pink nightmare.

We should follow Tyrone home so we can get a glimpse of Tyrone and Naomi at home. He can regale us with his cool dog catcher stories.

I could've sworn that Wilberforce mentioned a bike earlier in the summer, but I can't find it--or it never existed. I remember lots of these strips. Birthdays, anniversaries, 98% of my students, all completely forgotten, but I can find a specific Born Loser strip with a vague description.

"Pop, can I have a new bike? Pop, can I have a new bike? Pop, can I have a new bike...?" "Everyday for the past two months 'Pop, can I have a new bike? Pop, can I have a new bike?'"

Put Your Legs Under the Desk

August 3, 1967

Is...Is that God? No, it's probably just some advertisement on a building. You don't have to listen to those...unless it's about giving her English muffins this year.

Has Brutus just been sitting like that all morning? His knees, hips, and feet are going to hurt like hell when he goes to stand up.

If Brutus doesn't want to work, he shouldn't be so blatant about it. Hang in the break room, take longer in the restroom, Oh, I have to run out to my car for something, I was talking with Arnie about the Streisand account. Don't just sit at your desk.

I wonder how the Wimberley account went? Not great, I assume.

Don't Ask Questions You Don't Want to Know the Answer To

"I heard ICE is in town and I want to see how they hold up to someone just as violent as them. Also, do you have any gas-soaked rags?"

This is such an odd request and mainly it's because there's no context. What kind of bottle? Do you want something in it? What are you going to do with it? I don't know about Brutus but I don't really have random bottles just lying around.

My Leg Goes to Sleep If I Sit Like That

Big Nate, June 13, 2026

I missed it, but Big Nate dailies have come to an end. Lincoln Peirce has decided to just focus on Sunday strips and, I'm assuming, his popular run of Big Nate graphic novels. On the plus side, Peirce has said he doesn't want reruns to continue in newspapers so that opens up a lot of real estate. Good on you, man.

Baby Blues and Zits will also be winding down over the next year so I'll grab those finales when they happen.

What is Brutus doing? Is he just sitting there with his chin in his hands? Look, I'm not necessarily judging, Mother Gargle is in the wrong, always is, and should die, but Brutus just sitting there like that is weird. At least turn on the TV or something.

More Like Zeta...Maybe Theta

June 15, 1967

Did Brutus rock a little too hard? Does the open window mean anything? Did someone yell at Brutus from outside? "Ha! That's Uncle Brutus, he's moving kind of slow at the junction!" I'd be humiliated by a sick Petticoat Junction burn, too.

I get what Brutus is saying but I don't think anyone should call themself a "beta" anything. Calling yourself a "beta" just brings up a connotation that I just don't want to see in my newspaper comic strips.

Close Enough

June 7, 1967

six-seeevenn six-seeevenn

I hope the screen door is all right. It seems like a quality screen door. Will keep people in and out of your house.

Mr. Gretch?

This comic took quite the turn. "Be happy, Mother Gargle, it's Spring! Spring is great! Give me a Shakespearian sonnet!" That would be like me going "I hear it's your birthday! Happy birthday! Here's a passage from Dostoyevsky!"

Can You Even See the Mustache In the Newspaper?

May 26, 1967

I don't know what's going on here. Some kind of sewing machine accident? The internet, if you can trust it, says this is a sheet metal folding machine. I don't see it. Maybe some kind of a pulley system?

If you know what this is, let me know on social media.

Instead of sporting his typical toothbrush mustache, Brutus has opted to comb his mustache to the side. Or at least, I think that's what happened. Brutus has always had a mustache so I don't know why he considers it "something new". He just combed it.

Mother Gargle Didn't Say That, It Was the Shirelles

May 12, 1967

What are we doing here? Is this man a doctor? An insurance agent? I guess a doctor can see if Brutus has a concussion or little holes in his head. Insurance agents seems less likely. The bird probably does not have insurance and Brutus' head isn't like Mary Hart's legs.

We're going to spend an entire week in a yellow void but on Friday, the last day, you change the void to a light blue!? "Oh, gosh!" the nameless United Features Syndicate colorist intern exclaims, "I have made the background of all of this week's strip yellow! I should choose a different color for this one. It just makes sense." Blue. I can't believe it. I just can't believe it...

All I Want for Christmas...

February 6, 1967

I have an entire trashbag of plastic clothes hangers in our spare bedroom. I'm saving them because they may come in handy if I ever have enough clothes or adopt three more people who have clothes to hang up in a closet. I refuse to keep wire hangers--those are terrible.

Are those framed footprints on the wall?

I like the image of Brutus sitting on Santa's lap and that Santa seems unfazed by this fully grown adult man sitting on him.

I'm also interested in learning more about the people in line. Does Wilberforce get a turn or did Brutus take up his time? Are those Arnie's parents with Li'l Arnie? That woman in orange does not find Brutus' shenanigans amusing. And what's with the Brutus-like man by the tree? I'm going to call him Thin-Brutus...No. Divorced Brutus.

Money Hoarder

It all starts out as fun and games. Two athletes from each state and territory--one boy and one girl--will travel to Washington, D.C. for The Patriot Games, a competitive celebration of America's independence. We don't know all the details, because President Trump just pulled this idea out of his ass earlier today, but this isn't an ideal prospect and seems very...dystopian coded.

Sigh. 37 months and 2 days left. May the odds be ever in our favor.

February 2, 1967

What's this thing supposed to do? I'm going with it drills into the floor while also drilling into the ceiling (provided your floor-to-ceiling height is ~5 1/2 feet). I don't know why you would need something like that but that's what marketing is for.

Thing.

Sounds like Veeblefester needs yet another visit from four ghosts this Christmas. Some day it's going to sink in. Fingers crossed it will be this year.

Where's Brutus Supposed to Be?

December 9, 1966

Ooh. I love when my freshly clean clothes smell like a damp basement.

What's a Idaho Baking Potato? Are you just asking for a potato? I guess we know whose pocket Art Sansom was in back in 1966. Big Idaho Potato.

South Carerdddd The only difference is that Brutus isn't the fucking president of the United States.

To be fair, it looks like everything in that room has gone missing except the desk. Some sort of supermassive white void...

Next up on this year's Halloween Week is "Ghost of A. Chantz". Dominic, Ryan, and MaryJane win a radio contest and all they have to do is spend a night in an old haunted, abandoned house. This story is more humorous despite appearing in Liberty Horror #4 (2020).

Favorite Chair

July 5, 1987

I am always fascinated by weird things falling out of the sky. Weird jellyfish like things. Frogs. Golf balls. Blood (really just oxidized rain). Most have explanations and I think I can explain what is happening here. There is a nearby popcorn factory that has some malfunctioning vents causing the popped popcorn to escape and blanket the area. It kind of happened to coffee creamer back in 1969. Of course, my theory only works if there's a popcorn factory within a four-block radius.

The big question is: Would you eat some of this popcorn?

You better not be in my ass groove!

The chair is molded to Brutus' body shape. It also smells like Brutus' farts and a little bit like his pee. There are just some pieces of furniture you don't sit in when you're at someone's house.

The J.D. Small Ranch/Careyhurst is the featured article for yesterday. If you would like to support me or this website, you can Support at the top of the page.

Evening Alone

June 28, 1987

I find the man yammering about authorizing the invasion of Normandy 43 years after the fact less crazy than Brutus and Veeblefester jogging together. I can understand eating lunch and/or dinner together. I can understand playing golf together. Jogging I don't get. You're in those stupid suits and sweating. I don't want to see my boss like that, nor do I think my boss wants to see me like that.

Has Wilberforce been on this school field trip for two weeks? How many schools do overnight field trips anymore? I'm sure the ones that do have a very specific demographic.

Casablanca? There aren't any recent movies with romance and suspense? There has to be at least one. Oh, well, might as well put on a movie you've seen numerous times since you are just going to fall asleep anyway.

I've updated research on Yda Hillis Addis who was originally featured back in 2009. If you would like to support me or this website, you can click Support at the top of the page.

So you want granite countertops? You can just say so. You don't have to make a pun.

September 26, 1966

So when you offend Brutus, he climbs a tree? Not that I'm complaining...it's better than lashing out or something. I'm just wondering how he got up there. He must be pretty good at shimmying up trees.

siiiiiiiiigh...If you need me, I'll be in a tree.

What's for Dinner? *posts at 11 in the morning*

August 26, 1966

Your guess is as good as mine here. Is it funny because he's a named partner and has to clean the floors? Is part of the joke in the door that we can't make out? Whatever's going on, Thornapple is embarrassed!

CLINCH
ABISCH
SCHLEP
HENLAYER
&
THORNAPPLE

I guess...?

They've been eating this meatloaf since Sunday? How big was this loaf?

Look, I get having leftovers constantly can get boring, but I've never had a meatloaf I didn't like. Gladys probably just makes it wrong.

Don't You Mean Spring Has Sproinged?

April 15, 1966

I don't like it when family members do this. I never know if I need to remind them who I am or if they are joking around and/or being cute. Anyway, hire me if you want to ruin any family gathering. I'll even dress like this kid if you pay extra.

This kid sounds like the kid in Spike Jones' "All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth", right? Definitely sounds like George Rock.

Brutus spent somewhere between $60-100 on a pogo stick for what is kind of a dangerous bit that could get him or someone hurt and possibly fired and/or sued? I mean, it's his money. And he seems better at pogo-ing than I would be.

Thank you for your support and readership!

No Spoon, Radio

April 8, 1966

I research one-room schoolhouse and the early days of public schools and the stories I read about the mischief pulled on the teachers is always interesting. Usually it's not very violent though. And never have one of the student tried to blow up the teacher.

Can Brutus just not wash a spoon? Do the Thornapples just throw away all their dirty silverware?

Are the Thornapples Even Catholic?

April 6, 1966

Is this the crew of the Mary Celeste? Or maybe the Carol Deering. If the captain hand-picked his crew then he is a very bad judge of character. All of these people are clearly shady-looking as hell.

Wh...What's getting fatter? The Tuesdays? The years? I feel you are talking about your body, but where?

I thought today was a rerun because of the copyright date. I guess they put the wrong copyright on today's strip because last year's Shrove Tuesday strip was this.

The Games Would Be Shorter

February 14, 1966

How did that ladder get over this light pole? I don't know, but I'm enjoying the ride.

It's like with football. Those damn last five minutes.

How many TVs do the Thornapples have? Wilberforce looks like he's being held hostage watching basketball. If they have 2 TVs then maybe Gladys is watching something Wilberforce wants to watch even less. Like K-dramas.