Four Candles? There's No Way Gladys Is 40

Recently, my students had to read "The Monkey's Paw" by W.W. Jacobs. Written in 1902, it's become a classic tale about unintended consequences and being careful about what you wish for. One of their assignments was to write an ending for it. Those who know it, know that the story ends with Mr. White using his third wish to wish away whoever is knocking at the door, presumably his own deceased son, but the ambiguous ending leaves just a little room for interpretation. To give the kids kind of an idea, I wrote my own ending, adding a little twist and another unintended consequence courtesy of the paw. If you wish to read the original story, you can read it here.

"What happened?" Mrs. White shrieked. "What happened to our son?"

"I wished whoever was at the door to return being dead. Our son would've been a monster. A disfigured monster. I wanted to spare you that," Mr. White said.

Mrs. White ran over to her husband, crying. "Oh, my Herbert..."

Herbert, still in the cemetery, had awoken, air filling his lungs for the first time in ten days. Engulfed in blackness, Herbert panicked, began pounding on the top of the coffin. If anyone had been in the cemetery, no one would hear him anyway. Soon, the pounding and panicking would stop as the air ran out.

The next day, there was another pounding at the door. Practically paralyzed with mourning, Mrs. White didn't move. Mr. White went to the door and opened it to one of the local constable. "Sorry to bother you this early, sir. We are inquiring about a Mr. Abernathy Meggins. He was out visiting the family of an employee who had died. The family of a Mr. Herbert White. A neighbor reported that they saw him here last night."

Mr. White's eyes widened. The pounding at the door. The wish. What if the pounding at the door wasn't from his reborn son? What if...?

"Sir?" the constable made eye contact with Mr. White. "Would you like to step out here and talk?"

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Marvin

Has Grandpa here ever been around kids? They're loud. They could be sitting right next to each other and they're screaming at each other about their own private business then they get all mad if they discover you listening to them. Then be quiet!

Hi & Lois

Hi should just pay someone. Paying someone has to be cheaper than the medical bills if Hi falls and breaks his neck.

Marmaduke

It's good to see that Marmaduke just can't do anything he wants. Don't go tampering in God's domain, Marm, They'll get you.

Luann

Come on, Toni! Brad's horny!! You better be making sex popcorn in there!

Mallard Fillmore

As some of you may know, Bruce Tinsley, the original creator of Mallard Fillmore, quietly stopped producing the strip late in 2019 and the reins were handed over to Loren Fishman. From what I've seen, the arguments are a bit more intelligent than what Tinsley used and the art doesn't look like it was drawn by a child using their foot.

By the way, I've seen this scenario happen in real time on Twitter. Someone discovered some F-level celebrity followed a pro-lifer and essentially spent the rest of the day ripping their account apart. Social media is fun.

Heathcliff

It must be nice to just take the, what is it? Lasso tool? On Photoshop and just move the character around and not have to redraw it seven times.

The Born Loser

That is a pretty small cake. I get that it's only three people but that cake looks like it would only produce four good-sized pieces.

What a minute! Where's Mother Gargle?! That's something I never thought I'd say but it's her daughter's birthday. You'd think she'd be here.

I've Never Noticed Resemblances

Beetle Bailey

Wait a minute. Back on Sunday, Beetle got in trouble for enacting their training. Since Halftrack now believes their training is important, here's hoping Beetle's punishment has been reduced.

Baby Blues

You could also teach your kids not to do things like this.

Or, just not have kids.

panel from Blondie

That dog looks really familiar. Where have I seen him before?

!!!

Luann

I'm liking this guy.

Mallard Fillmore

No one is forcing you to use the restroom with other people, Mallard. Also, no one is beating you up or threatening your life when you walk into a restroom. This argument that transgender people are freaks of nature doesn't work when you use an anthropomorphic, suit-wearing, talking duck as an avatar.

1226: I've Killed Off People In Five of Today's Strips

The body was found, pulverized into the ground by a bowling ball. Witnesses claimed that Phil was just playing catch with his loyal Great Dane, but none saw what happened. But they did see and it terrified them all for the rest of their lives.

Does Puddles have a spinal deformity? I ask because Puddles is vaguely reminiscent of this dog that is currently the ugliest dog in the world:

I believe this was the first Calvin and Hobbes strips where I began to question whether what happened was in Calvin's imagination or actually happening. Calvin's still cornered by the bike and is even planning on spending the rest of his life living on the roof while if this was in his imagination, the bike would become lifeless upon his parent's return.

I guess it's good that murderers, rapists and thieves can still maintain friends despite being murderers, rapists and thieves. Bad news for fans of tabloid talk shows though.

I hate when I'm looking up at the clouds and wind up getting my face ripped off by a squirrel.

Or, they can just figure out a way to keep the cube shut and be rid of their County Weirdly problem once and for all.

I can't believe they are trusting me to use a shovel and dig a hole, Daddy Keane thinks, imagining clubbing his children and wife and then tossing their bodies in the hole. As the shovel goes into the ground, hitting the rock, Daddy's face twists in pain and he collapses.

"Don't forget who's in charge here," Billy said as they all stood over Daddy Keane. "We know what you're thinking but it won't work. We're here forever."

"We may act like kings now but soon we will stretch ourselves too thin. There will not be enough food or water and it's hard to conclude what will finally end us--famine, drought or war--but a mass extinction is coming and it's coming hard."

Does Brutus look thinner in today's strip? Maybe Brutus has been sleeping more.

Saturday and Sunday In One Convenient Package

I'll give you the details on my Saturday later but for right now I have both the Saturday and Sunday comics for you.


Coincidentally, 13 and a quarter inches is also the length of Gunther's...fabric scissors.


Why are there only four crackers on the table? It seems like she's hosting some sort of dinner party or something along those lines since she bought good crackers and people are asking for dip. Also, who's the dip the Fat Broad is talking about? She's not married or anything, I don't think.


I thought of a better idea for today's strip. Enjoy...

Ah, what you can do with the cut and paste feature in Paint and a prediliction for gay jokes.


Nancy and Sluggo seem to be friends with benefits as it appears that Nancy is now seven or eight months pregnant.

I wonder if Aunt Fritzi knows...


Do people really call it "leaf debris"? Just call it what it is: fallen leaves.


What's with the giant chasm?


Yep, being romantic costs money. I should send bills to my ex-girlfriends to repay me for dinners, movies, jewlery, etc. I gave them during our relationships. Not all of them though, just select few.


O.......kay.

No more LSD for Chip.

Someone Get Me a Chair

I don't care how old or rare the painter/painting is, it's still an ugly picture and since it was a gift and I can't eBay it, it'll go in the basement.


Luckily the bottom of the last panel hides his erection. No one needs to see that.


Oh, sure. An ant in a post-apocalyptic future can win the lottery but I can't even win a free ticket.


Yeah, well, "The best defense is a good offense."

No, your conversation is not boring, it's just that we're standing up. Why are we standing when there are chairs right over there?

Wilberforce Gets an "F"

You'd think the guys would learn not to make fun of the Fat Broad. The snake, unfortunately, is just the victim of a hate crime.


Heathcliff has had a series of strokes in today's strip and soon Mr. Nutmeg has one which causes him to force his wife to bathe him and his cat in the backyard blaming their troubles on sand fleas.

Also, Dawn Warren has the most unique cat ever. A cat that hides and pounces on you? Someone give that cat a series.


At least he wants to go somewhere. I've seen comic strip husbands say they don't want to go anywhere and it's their way of saving money. At least Drabble here wants to go somewhere with his horrid shrew of a wife.


Sweaty pits or not, they'd still date her.


Ok. I will.

Yep, son. I got a pig when I married your mom. Unfortunately we can't kill and eat her because that would be murder and cannibalism.

Number 200

Wow, 200. I never thought I would continue this blog as long as I have. Of course, if I didn't have any readers, I probably would've ended it a long time ago. It's the readers and fellow comic bloggers that helped me along so a part of this celebration belongs to you also. It's been slightly mind-numbing to do this nearly everyday but I have enjoyed it and while this blog originally started out to assist my hatred of the comic strip The Born Loser, I have now developed a kind of respect for it, even though it is still pretty darn awful.

I don't plan on changing this blog too much, even though I have switched it over to my own tauycreek.com and changed the name to "Watch This Space" but I am going on a vacation starting September 1st. August 31st will be the last entry until September 20th. Reasons for the vacation are, wanted to spend time with my son, spend time polishing my second novel, focusing on my other writings (stuff that makes me money) and the main thing: moving. Also, I feel I am burned out by comic strips lately. I plan on keeping my role in "The Daily Comics Review" every Saturday and I'll be back before you know it. Remember, there are dozens of wonderful comic blog sites out there so there won't be a lack of reading.

Now, onto the comics.

Damn. No wonder those "Brian Is a Dope" shirts sold out. But at least the "Brian Was Right" shirts will be worth more money.

What's the deal with the ice machine? Is it part of a joke that I'm missing?

A belated birthday cameo from Alley Oop. Plus Peter and Stewie Griffin. Second best Lio ever.

Nothing should perk up your day more than a raptor receiving a blowjob--then not holding up his end of the bargain.

I've done some pretty stupid stuff to get girls to like me (all failed) but getting a tattoo was not one of them. I'm wondering what Brad's mom will say--if he goes through with it. I'm thinking he won't but I was wrong about Grandpa Jim.

I don't lie about going to the gym...I'm in decent shape in respect to the size I could be.

This strip is dedicated to my fiancee who went to see "Mamma Mia!" and didn't drag me along.

Same here. Jonathan Silverman has never let me down.

Who's weird now?

I'm so glad Marcie from Peanuts has been able to work steadily the last eight years. The origin of the word s'more is unknown but more than likely came from a contraction of "some" and "more" as hinted here and confired by Wikipedia.

Theoretically, shouldn't big hands be useful in bed? I'm just saying...

Ah, the plight of our country's bankrupt health care system is even affecting nursery rhymes characters. I'm worrying about Little Miss Tuffet who not only got bitten by a brown recluse but got food poisoning from something called curds and whey.

Any intervention where people call you a moron is my kind of intervention.

Hope someone does that to the person (or persons) who broke my license plate a couple months ago.

Whee!! The sacks of money are back! I'm wondering what kind of business Veeblefester has. It's a job where the top ranking people take home millions of dollars while the underlings get nothing so...that's no help. Let's see what the readers think. Answer the poll on the side and on Sunday we'll see what the winner is.