If You Don't Have the Money Just Say So

Lola

"I don't want happiness. I want a few bucks so that I can buy coffee. At no time did I mention that having money would make me happy. I just want coffee. Cof. Fee."

Family Circus

Don't we normally poop ourselves when we die? I guess this is just talking about an accident where Billy's body is so mangled that his clothes have to be cut off. Wait, the underwear would just go too so there is really no good reason to wear clean, hole-free underwear except for your own sense of self-satisfaction.

Hagar the Horrible

Conservative Joke:
Sounds like President Obama took some ideas from Hagar the Horrible when writing the Affordable Care Act.

Liberal Joke:
Sounds like Republicans take their health care ideas from Hagar the Horrible.

Aren't Pickles and Relish the Same Thing?

Mark Trail

I hope Mark Trail is going to show how nature would respond to an apocalyptic event. I'm just going to assume that all this has to do with, oh, I'm going to say coral reefs.

Crock

Oh, Camel, you'll be long dead before they put any relish or pickles on you.

Lola

I love abominations of nature as much as the next person but he should really have a shirt on. No one needs to see that.

Heathcliff

Presented without comment.

Doomed! DOOOOOOOOMED!!

The Amazing Spider-Man

Yes, I think the dance that Dr. Strange has just made up is fascinating but, Spidey, Mary Jane, there is more important stuff happening, like, ten feet away from you.

Lola

Back in 1991 there was a song called "Feed Jake". The main point I ever got from the song was the guy asking that if he "should die before [he] wakes/Feed Jake". The song was performed by a band called Pirates of the Mississippi who I had never heard of despite that Jake song being one of my favorites back when I liked country music. Doing more research I learned that the music video was very progressive for its time and that some people interpreted the song as depicting two gay men. Check it out for yourself:

"Boss"

Marvin

How come only Jeff is being punished. Someone came to him and asked him to sign those purchases. There should be at least two people getting fired and maybe investigated for fraud.

Hagar the Horrible

I like this guy. I hope we see more of him.

Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids

I hate generic knock-offs of popular corporate animations.

The Lockhorns

Someone had finally had enough and stabbed one of those awful manspreaders in the leg with a fork. How much do you want to bet that it was Loretta and they were in their own car?

Lola

Nope. Still only two. There are still only two choices for restrooms. Not a difficult choice to make.

She's So Happy It Crashed, Too

Frazz

Why are these kids still in school? Aside from year-round schools, are any public schools still open in middle- to late-June?

Nancy (from 1949)

When I first glanced at this strip, I thought the dripping ice cream in the back was the dead truck driver's limp and bleeding arm. But then I was like, wait, the driver would be laying dead up front.

Hagar the Horrible

The Vikings first encountered the Inuit people in 982. Interaction was, reportedly, sparse but the interaction between the two spelled doom for the Inuits on Greenland. Here, we see Hagar leading this poor Skraeling to his death while Crazy Eddie rapes his wife, probably.

Lola

Yeah, cops have to obey the laws when pursuing criminals. Speeding down the interstate at 110 miles-per-hour? Don't worry, cops can only go the speed limit so you're fine.

Crock

Hey, kids, it's a comic strip telling you that committing suicide could be helpful to you or your friends! I wouldn't recommend listening to it.

Family Circus

1226: I've Killed Off People In Five of Today's Strips

The body was found, pulverized into the ground by a bowling ball. Witnesses claimed that Phil was just playing catch with his loyal Great Dane, but none saw what happened. But they did see and it terrified them all for the rest of their lives.

Does Puddles have a spinal deformity? I ask because Puddles is vaguely reminiscent of this dog that is currently the ugliest dog in the world:

I believe this was the first Calvin and Hobbes strips where I began to question whether what happened was in Calvin's imagination or actually happening. Calvin's still cornered by the bike and is even planning on spending the rest of his life living on the roof while if this was in his imagination, the bike would become lifeless upon his parent's return.

I guess it's good that murderers, rapists and thieves can still maintain friends despite being murderers, rapists and thieves. Bad news for fans of tabloid talk shows though.

I hate when I'm looking up at the clouds and wind up getting my face ripped off by a squirrel.

Or, they can just figure out a way to keep the cube shut and be rid of their County Weirdly problem once and for all.

I can't believe they are trusting me to use a shovel and dig a hole, Daddy Keane thinks, imagining clubbing his children and wife and then tossing their bodies in the hole. As the shovel goes into the ground, hitting the rock, Daddy's face twists in pain and he collapses.

"Don't forget who's in charge here," Billy said as they all stood over Daddy Keane. "We know what you're thinking but it won't work. We're here forever."

"We may act like kings now but soon we will stretch ourselves too thin. There will not be enough food or water and it's hard to conclude what will finally end us--famine, drought or war--but a mass extinction is coming and it's coming hard."

Does Brutus look thinner in today's strip? Maybe Brutus has been sleeping more.

That's Not How That Works

One quick post before I start writing on my novel for NaNoWriMo.  I'm hoping to get a couple chapters posted here for all to view and verify that I am indeed writing a second novel.

Why do airline pilots go through basic training?

Oh my God!!  Lola is turning into the Hulk!!

Or having a seizure.  It's hard to tell which.

That's what I want for Christmas.  A cell phone that doubles as a flask.

"I'm sorry, Daddy.  I'll do harder.  Please don't hit me with the Jack Daniels bottle again."

I'm pretty sure that won't happen Brutus.  Although it is fun to think about.

I Painted My Toenails...Why Not the Dog?

No snarky comment. No insult to the storyline. Just a thank you and good-bye to Lynn Johnston who has entertained us for these many years and let us into her life on a daily basis.

No old woman--especially Lola--should ever be in this type of position. It's...unnatural.

I had a crush on Supergirl from the 1996-2003 series. Ooh, she was hot. I've also had a crush on Vampi and Jessica Jones from Alias (the Marvel comic book, not the show). But I never acted like this.

I actually watched some table tennis this year and it was so addictive to watch. But I was wondering if you, the reader, think that Get Fuzzy has gone downhill over the last year or so. It used to be a very original strip but now relies heavily on Satchel being stupid, Bucky mixing up words and Rob getting aggravated. Maybe I just spend too much time reading comic strips...

"Rape and murder..."

Ooh-hoo yeah. Oh God, those lips, those eyes, that...dorsal fin.

I did some research and from what I found, painting the dog's nails doesn't hurt. They even have toenail "pawlish" made especially for dogs so unless Wilberforce used actual household paint, I wouldn't be punishing him.

And I wish they'd actually show Kewpie once in a while.