Or Wilbur's Flotsam Hair Is Floating Its Way Through All the Comic Strips

I sincerely hope that Wilbur is stranded on the ugly part of a private hotel beach. If only Wilbur would walk 50 feet in any direction then he'd find his way back to civilization. But Wilbur's too lazy/stupid to do that and won't wander further than 5 feet from the water.

At least he still has his glasses somehow.

Gladys is the only one that makes dinner so why is she getting upset? It's probably your hair, Gladys.

Whenever I see someone mention hair in food, I remember this Garfield strip from 1979.

Tauy Creek Digest #49: Garfield Alone

The following comics are from a Garfield storyline in October of 1989 where Garfield wakes up completely alone. It's an oddly jarring piece of work with different art style than what was normally used in the comic at the time.

According to the 20th Anniversary book, Jim Davis wanted to do something different with Garfield for Halloween and came up with this short story. As he said, what's scarier than being alone?

I can't remember where I read it but Davis said the "experiment" only lasted a week because he didn't want to alienate readers or upset the syndicate.

40 Years a Cat

Garfield is turning 40 today. That's great and all but there are several other comic strips that are celebrating an anniversary this year that I hope gets as much coverage as Garfield has been getting from GoComics. Gasoline Alley will be celebrating 100 years in November. Nancy, who just got a new artist, will celebrate 80 years if you don't count the time it was Fritzi Ritz. Heathcliff, the original orange and black cat, will be celebrating 45 years this September. Here's hoping those strips get a little love as well and not just from their creators.

I find it kind of aggravating that all of the arguments between Brutus and either Gladys or Mother Gargle are kind of like the comments section on newspaper sites or social media platforms. And just like those places, what they are arguing about is probably unknown to them and completely pointless.

Yes, MJ, I'm Going To Do It In My Birthday Suit

Garfield Classics 12/22/1977

My cat Shadow played with ornaments. Batting them around with his paws. He stopped after a few years but would still occasionally bat one around. Atticus likes to chew on Christmas trees for whatever reason. The first day we had the tree up he vomited about six times. Each time the vomit had tree needles in it. He stopped chewing on the tree since then. Katy could not care less about either of our trees. Or us, the people who take care of her.

The Amazing Spider-Man

You would never catch a DC superhero in the middle of the desert in their underwear.

Heathcliff

Merry Christmas, everyone.

"We've Spent 56 Years Trying To Get Rid of Those 'Little Things'"

Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids

It seems as if Slylock is less concerned about the Mystery of the Missing Vanity and more interested in the Mystery of Is Harry Ape's Mom Also an Ape? Why is Foo Foo Cat just now reporting her vanity stolen? Honestly Harry may have gotten away with this caper if he just threw the newspapers away. Also...Hey, is that a dragon wearing a top hat in the Your Drawing panel?

Family Circus

I love that both Thel and Bil are looking at Gran'ma like "What the hell is she talking about? Big things? What? Just put the damn plates on the table."

Mary Worth

"Here's your vicodin. The doctor said it should help relieve the pain."

"I know what vicodin does, Mom. I was a freaking drug addict."

Dennis the Menace

Wait. They teach about Snow White in Sunday School? I've got that thing all wrong then.

Heathcliff and Garfield

It's finally happened. Heathcliff and Garfield have finally become basically the same comic strip.

1237: Welcome To Parenting, Brutus. I Hope You Know How.

This reminds me of a scene in I Love Lucy where the gang is heading to California and are in Ohio when they see a sign for Aunt Sally's Pecan Pralines. They pass signs all along the highway including pointless ones that read 1 mile, 500 feet, 100 feet and just around the bend. Fred notes that how does Aunt Sally have the time to make pecan pralines when she's busy making signs. They end up passing it and have to back up and discover that it was housed in an old shack and that it's out of business. "See, I told you she was spending to much time on those signs," Fred says.

In my Earth Space Science class this last year, we had a student teacher so we got really in depth with what makes a planet. We learned that under the classification of what a planet is, Pluto had to be dropped because it hadn't "cleared its neighborhood" meaning that Pluto wasn't the dominant gravity in its orbit. Pluto shares its orbit with the Kuiper Belt so Pluto had to be reclassified as a dwarf planet.

I don't think that's a good sign when your body starts falling asleep piece by piece. Jon should probably get Garfield to Liz to make sure he's okay.

"Yeah, that's great Mark but that grizzly has eaten our dog and is now trying to break down the sliding glass door in kitchen."

I'm not a Marvin fan. I find the constant poop jokes crass. But this comic is saying what I think and occasionally tweet--baseball is boring as f@$k.

Dropping pizzas? That's daring. Almost as daring as dropping turkeys from a plane on Thanksgiving.

Is Earl going to fly away with the car, stop the car or smash the car into a rock like the actual cover to Action Comics #1?

Has Curtis not been to a movie in the last 15 years? These days there are previews before the the previews.

"If only Dad said 'Dad's' instead of 'Dad is'," cried Wilberforce as he rested the frozen peas on his freshly blackened eye. "Why does Dad have such an irrational hatred for the apostrophe?"

Bye Week? Read Stull

I'm beginning work on my webcomic today so I'm going to try to stay offline for as long as possible to work on it. Although I have an important post to try to get done for Monday so I don't really know how that's going to work. But, hey, you all should check out Stull #22, it posted yesterday and it is awesome.* If you don't read it then Stull may just have to come to a premature end.

Brutus clashes horribly with that chair.

As someone who doesn't like/watch/enjoy/care about football, this strip does not speak to me. In other comic strip news, Garfield uses the name Wilberforce.

*Your definition of "awesome" may vary.

Back to School Bonanza

School will start or has started for probably everyone lately so there will be an extended post today featuring more than just The Born Loser. But with all good news, there has to be some bad news. This will be the last regular posting for "Losers Are Made, Not Born". As some of you may know, I have not been happy with the quality of the commentary on the strips lately. While I usually don't outright make fun of the strip, I try to keep my comments moderately humorous or at least thought provoking. That hasn't been happening lately and I am disappointed with what's being posted. So what's going to happen? Well, I'm going to take most of next week off and start posting the Born Loser strips where I can actually come up with something to say or ones that pique my interest. I am still looking for contributors to start their own features either on a daily or weekly basis so if you are interested, let me know.

And now, on to the comics:
Garfield

Now Garfield confuses me more!! I always thought Jon could understand Garfield but he can't? So Jon is a psychopathic weirdo with issues like Garfield Minus Garfield portrays him? AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Crankshaft

Is it wrong for a Crankshaft strip to make me laugh? Well, this one did because we've all done it. Found something on the Internet that fit what we were talking about and copied it, not knowing what it really means.
"Likely as not a ruined head gasket
Spitting at every power stroke, if not a crank shaft
Bearing knocking at the roots of the thing like a pile-driver:
A machine involved with itself, a concentrated
Hot lump of a machine
Geared in the loose mechanics of the world with the valves jumping
And the heavy frenzy of the pistons."

Funky Winkerbean

"Because, honestly, his life didn't suck as much as it could."

The Family Circus

Looks like the Keane family is floating down the Cahulawassee River. Luckily, Billy has a "purdy mouth" and Bil loves to squeal like a pig.

Blondie

Do they even make trading cards anymore? I was once so proud of my comic book trading cards but now they are worthless. Worthless!! When are trading cards going to make a comeback. Soon, I hope.

Archie

Hmm. Let's see. What gesture do the kids use these days? Ah, the thumb's up. That's a timeless classic. Much like mother-in-law jokes and husbands are lazy on the weekend gags.

Beetle Bailey

That's not how the brain works. You don't just have random things you're thinking about bouncing around in there. Oh, well. What does a computer know about how the human brain functions.

B.C.

That's right, B.C. Encourage children to ask women where their tan lines are. I can hear my son at school now: "Hey, Emma, show me your tan lines." Oh, and let's also encourage impressionable girls to accept money in exchange of taking off their clothes.

How'd this get past the editor?

Apartment 3-G

"So that's who's been living in my vagina the past three months..."

Born Loser

What's Brutus eating? A flattened biscuit? An irradiated peanut? I don't know.

Better Late Than Never

I knew it was Garfield's birthday back on the 19th but I didn't really care. With this birthday, Garfield turns 30 which makes him ten years older than the average lifespan of a cat. He should be dead by now especially with the he eats and I know walking on his hind legs can't be good for him.