Back to School Bonanza

School will start or has started for probably everyone lately so there will be an extended post today featuring more than just The Born Loser. But with all good news, there has to be some bad news. This will be the last regular posting for "Losers Are Made, Not Born". As some of you may know, I have not been happy with the quality of the commentary on the strips lately. While I usually don't outright make fun of the strip, I try to keep my comments moderately humorous or at least thought provoking. That hasn't been happening lately and I am disappointed with what's being posted. So what's going to happen? Well, I'm going to take most of next week off and start posting the Born Loser strips where I can actually come up with something to say or ones that pique my interest. I am still looking for contributors to start their own features either on a daily or weekly basis so if you are interested, let me know.

And now, on to the comics:
Garfield

Now Garfield confuses me more!! I always thought Jon could understand Garfield but he can't? So Jon is a psychopathic weirdo with issues like Garfield Minus Garfield portrays him? AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Crankshaft

Is it wrong for a Crankshaft strip to make me laugh? Well, this one did because we've all done it. Found something on the Internet that fit what we were talking about and copied it, not knowing what it really means.
"Likely as not a ruined head gasket
Spitting at every power stroke, if not a crank shaft
Bearing knocking at the roots of the thing like a pile-driver:
A machine involved with itself, a concentrated
Hot lump of a machine
Geared in the loose mechanics of the world with the valves jumping
And the heavy frenzy of the pistons."

Funky Winkerbean

"Because, honestly, his life didn't suck as much as it could."

The Family Circus

Looks like the Keane family is floating down the Cahulawassee River. Luckily, Billy has a "purdy mouth" and Bil loves to squeal like a pig.

Blondie

Do they even make trading cards anymore? I was once so proud of my comic book trading cards but now they are worthless. Worthless!! When are trading cards going to make a comeback. Soon, I hope.

Archie

Hmm. Let's see. What gesture do the kids use these days? Ah, the thumb's up. That's a timeless classic. Much like mother-in-law jokes and husbands are lazy on the weekend gags.

Beetle Bailey

That's not how the brain works. You don't just have random things you're thinking about bouncing around in there. Oh, well. What does a computer know about how the human brain functions.

B.C.

That's right, B.C. Encourage children to ask women where their tan lines are. I can hear my son at school now: "Hey, Emma, show me your tan lines." Oh, and let's also encourage impressionable girls to accept money in exchange of taking off their clothes.

How'd this get past the editor?

Apartment 3-G

"So that's who's been living in my vagina the past three months..."

Born Loser

What's Brutus eating? A flattened biscuit? An irradiated peanut? I don't know.

Glady's Wandering Eye

Yes, the massive hand of Uncle Sam is asking for more money. But of course when a 17 foot Uncle Sam demands money you better give it.

As for the taxpayer's bailout? November 4th, effective January 20th.

Also, check out Mallard Fillmore everyday at Duck and Cover and see what Mallard's raving about.


Something about this strip looks familiar. Is it the joke? No. It's something about the characters. Hold on just a minute...


OH SWEET JESUS ON A WAFFLE CONE!!! That girl is slowly infiltrating the Archie comic strip. Someone tell the Archie Joke Generating Unit that she must be stopped. Heaven forbid if she actually makes the strip funny!!


I like it.


There's nothing funnier than Zoe falling off the roof and landing flat on her head thus shattering her second, third and fourth vertebrae. Hammie would like it.


Does poor Lois go through Trixie crying every time they go through the express lane? Hi should've gotten the operation after the accidents that were Dot and Ditto.

That's right. The drugs didn't kill Alan. Ray Jenkins didn't kill Alan. You killed him, LuAnn. You killed him with affection and encouragement.

Marmaduke suffers from a phony addiction that's really more of a fetish.

Now we shall make love and afterwards you will stroke my chin beard. My awesome chin beard.

HA HA HA!!! She's old and gonna die soon.

Meanwhile, Jeffy has been hypnotized by the Number 7. The numeral who ate his cohort 9 is now wanting Jeffy to kill. Kill. KILL!


He couldn't do any worse than the real people running the banks.


HOLY MOTHER OF PHYLLIS DILLER!! What's wrong with Gladys' eye? I know the art in BL is never all that great but her eye is on her cheek.

Also, the romance of yesterday's strip has vanished.

On her cheek.