@tauycreek: March 2025

Monday, March 31, 2025

Monday Quickies

May 2, 1966

Oh, and Thornapple looks so confident and ready to prove himself in that third panel. His rumpled suit looks how I feel.

March has sucked. February sucked. 2025 has sucked. I can't wait until this suck year is over. That is, if we don't die.

Sunday, March 30, 2025

I've never had to give a speech before. I know me, and I know I wouldn't like it. The closest I've come is I had to give a little speech to run for sheriff of this fake city my class took a field trip to in middle school. I was not elected sheriff, but instead was hired as a meter reader. My speech trying to garner votes of my fellow classmates clearly did not resonate.

I spent hours on my speech and read it. I didn't leave it up to ad-libbing because all that gets me is a panic attack.

The Weasels are so bad, the coach doesn't even bring a second ball to practice. Also, the coach just lost $8 because of Wilberforce.

Maybe the ball rolled into a alternate realm of fantastical creatures?

All aboard the Candy Line Express! If you would like to support me or this website, you can throw some money my way.

Saturday, March 29, 2025

Eye Spy

The boat, The Born Loser, is upside down and sinking into the sea. The captain hangs onto the bottom for dear life shouting at his friends, "Whatdaya mean I'm captain and I'm supposed to go down with the blasted thing?!" Meanwhile, his friends are floating away on a lifebuoy apparently cheering and holding up glasses of celebratory champagne.

April 30, 1966

It's clear this is just some guy who owns a boat and took his friends out on it, right? Ha ha! His friends are going to let him drown. What'd be even funnier is if the woman is his wife and she and these two guys are going to sail off into the sunset and she's going to get railed by both of them on a deserted island. Eiffel Tower!!

Gladys walks in with her purse, looking glum. "I found the eye drops the doctor recommended for my dry eyes." "That's good. Do they work?" Brutus asks. "Yes, as soon as I saw the price, I started crying."

Eye drops aren't generally expensive. I mean, I guess $15 for 10 milliliters of liquid can seem kind of steep. Especially when you miss getting it in your eye and in your lashes, on your eyelid or basically anywhere else around the eye.

The Pixies "Candy Line Express"

The Pixies was published by Magazine Enterprises, debuting in 1946. The series lasted five issues, returning in the 1955 as "Pee-Wee Pixies" and then "The Mighty Atom" through different publishers but just reprinting the original stories.

In this story, the first in the first issue, the Pixies are out of candy and everything else sweet because they are out of sugar. To get sugar, Pete takes it upon himself to build a railroad and a train. When the engine turns up missing, Pete becomes The Mighty Atom to find it. Wait. What?

Friday, March 28, 2025

4:55 P.M. On a Friday

A man wearing a top hat floating in a hot air balloon waves his cane screaming "Scat! Shoo!" at a flock of birds heading toward him.

April 29, 1966

I guess Hans Pfaall won't be making it to the Moon today. This isn't even a hot air balloon, it's just a balloon. How's he gonna get down? He's just gonna stay in the air until the balloon deflates. Or, I guess gets punctured by 30-40 feral geese.

FINALLY!! 🎊🎉🥳I support Brutus' downward spiral we're going to see over the next month or so. To be fair, Brutus was a DEI hire before DEI was a thing so this was probably coming anyway. Arnie's the next to go. For obvious reasons.

Thursday, March 27, 2025

Did Brutus Take Off Work for Opening Day?

A man is sitting in a chair reading and just having picked up the telephone. "No, just reading, Harry. Why? What's up? Two of 'em, huh? Sure, be right over!" We cut to the man on the other end of the line. "I better warn you, Quincy. Yours is a real dog. You don't care because you know I'm a great kidder and you'll be right over? Fair enough, pal!" Next to the man are two women. A beautiful woman sits across the sofa with dark eyes and stylish blonde hair. The other woman is short and dumpy with frizzy hair, an angry scowl and big nose, and smoking a cigar.

April 28, 1966

So that beautiful woman is going to hook up with Harry here? I probably shouldn't scoff. Harry, as much as I hate to admit it, kind of looks like me.

Hey, Tallulah, if you'd quit posing on that couch, Bertha could have a seat, too. Are these two women friends or what's going on here?

Brutus is in his green chair in front of the TV. Wilberforce is standing next to him. "It's opening day for the baseball season, son. A great day for born losers everywhere!" Brutus exclaims. "Why's it a good day for born losers?" "This is the only time where all the teams are undefeated."

Hey, readers, it's baseball opening day. The crack of the bat, the roar of the crowd. That's right, baseball's back! The boys of summer and The Born Loser a winning team! There. That's over. Although I do believe we will see several more baseball-themed comics over the next seven(!!??!!) months.

Wednesday, March 26, 2025

Wednesday Quickies

A man sits on the ground nursing a black eye after being punched by a large man walking by with a beautiful woman. A dog in a hat and feather stands next to the man with the black eye and a suitcase labeled 'Thornapple and his talking dog'. "Talking wasn't enough. I had to teach you how to whistle..."

April 23, 1966

Whistling is one thing. You taught him to wolf whistle? That's the one kind of whistling I would not teach a dog.

He at least seems apologetic about it.

Brutus and Veeblefester are standing in front of each other. "What do you mean I'm..." Brutus begins, but is interrupted by a yawn. "Too laid back?"

Laid back doesn't mean 'tired'.

Tuesday, March 25, 2025

Welcome to the Bungle

April 22, 1966

I wish that key word and sign weren't so jumbled by the scanner, so we could clearly understand what's going on. This is clearly some relationship counslor who is asking proto-Brutus and proto-Gladys to find compatibility(?). It's not going to work since proto-Gladys is being mean just to be mean.

There have been file cabinets promoted before Brutus.

We're mixing metaphors, here. Is it survival of the fittest or law of the jungle? Can it be both? I don't care.

Monday, March 24, 2025

Late Night Car Wash

A group of men are seated along a long table. There are four men on either side of another man and a monkey smoking a cigar. The man next to the monkey is standing and declares: "And now, with a new slant on Darwinian theory..."

April 21, 1966

Oliver?!

What kind of meeting is this? Some sort of Darwin Society? Are those even a thing? I thought they were, but according to search results they are just something I made up.

Anyway, thanks Bill Copeland of Sarasota, Florida.

Brutus and Arnie are standing at the white picket fence dividing their property. "With the weather starting to warm up last weekend, it gave me the incentive to finally wash the car," Arnie says. "How about you, Thorny?" "Nah...but I did leave my car out in the rain."

I washed the car a couple weeks ago and it rained, which whatever. I don't care. But then, like, two days later it rained again. It rained mud because of all the ash from wildfires. So, now my car needs to get washed again.

Sunday, March 23, 2025

H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

Brutus is standing on Veeblefester's porch as it starts to rain. Veeblefester's butler says "One moment, please," and goes off to inform Veeblefester that Brutus is here. "A Brutus Thornapple is here to see you, sir." "I'm just starting my first course," Veeblefester says as he sits at a table with food on it. "Have him wait until I am finished with dinner." The butler goes out to Brutus, still on the porch, and now getting rained on in a downpour. "He's having an after dinner brandy. You may see him now." Brutus, dripping wet, goes up to Veeblefester. "Yes, Thornapple? What is it?" "You invited me to dinner..." Brutus says.

December 14, 1986

Does Veeblefester not have a sitting room that Brutus could sit in until Veeblefester is ready for company? I mean, I guess Veeblefester doesn't even have a covered front porch so why would he have a sitting room?

Is that a harp in the background of the fifth panel?

Brutus is sitting in his green chair watching TV while Wilberforce stands next to him, apparently also watching TV. "Are you enjoying the hockey match?" Brutus asks. "Why have they stopped playing? Is it halftime?" Wilberforce asks. "Well, not exactly. In a hockey match, a break is called an intermission, not halftime. Because there are two intermissions in a hockey match," Brutus explains. "How do they take two intermissions during halftime?" Wilberforce asks. "Because hockey is divided into three periods, not halves or quarters." "So hockey has two halftimes and three quarters? Are you missing with me?" Wilberforce fumes.

That's not what Brutus said at all, Wilberforce. Three periods, an intermission between each period. He even explained it's not halftime. It's the first thing he said!

Learning they are called 'intermissions' hurts more than learning a soccer field is called a 'pitch'.

If you would like to support me or this website, there are multiple ways to do so in the Support link at the top of the page.

Saturday, March 22, 2025

Boy Loves Dog

A scientist pours a liquid into a test tube with another liquid. It's very wafty as a faint cloud whisps around the room. A pretty secretary sits behind the scientist at a typewriter. As the cloud wafts around more, the pretty secretary is transformed into a hideous beast. Another scientist says something to first that is illegible due to the scanning of newspaper.

April 20, 1966

I don't know what that one scientist guy is saying (I only recognize the word 'Thornapple'), but I at least get the gist of the comic. I'm hoping this is some sort of new perfume although I don't think perfume are made in test tubes and beakers. But, maybe!

Wilberforce is sitting in the green chair this time with Kewpie sitting in front of him. "They say dogs are a man's best friend...I know I may just be a kid, Kewpie, but I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship," Wilberforce says to Kewpie.

Kewpie will be long dead by the time Wilberforce is a man.

I originally thought Wilberforce was going to give Kewpie a treat, but he was just going in for a scratch of the chin. I bet Kewpie wishes it was a treat though.

Anna Faidley

Anna M. Faidley was born in Evansville, Indiana in March of 1846. She married John Peter Faidley on August 21, 1895 in Topeka, Kansas and moved with him to Wakefield, Kansas, where he worked on the railroad. John would die in 1918 after being hit by a train while sitting down to rest on the tracks.

Anna practiced as a "mental scientist and magnetic healer" while in Wakefield. She promised to cure any disease without drugs and her ads were prominent fixtures in the local newspaper.

From the Hutchinson News, February 5, 1923: "Declaring in a long note that she had read her Bible through carefully and found nothing advising against suicide, Mrs. Anna M. Faidley, 77, ended her life early today by gas asphyxiation. 'It seems there is no place in the world for old persons,' she wrote." Outliving most of her close family and faced with the possibility of homelessness due to who she was living with planning to move, Mrs. Faidley decided to "end it all."

If you or someone you know is having emotional distress or suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Hotline at 988.

Friday, March 21, 2025

Mascot Madness

A man walks by another man who is reading a newspaper while walking. The man with the newspaper walks into a light pole with a loud CLUNK! The man walking by starts laughing so he isn't paying attention that he's about to walk right into an open manhole.

April 19, 1966

It is funny when people hurt themselves. The newspaper guy is fine. His ego will just be bruised for a couple days. Now proto-Brutus will be very hurt. Bones will be broken and that's if he survives.

Brutus and his blond coworker whose name I forget are at work, standing in front of the watercooler. The blond guy strikes up a conversation "Your office March Madness brackets are perfect. What's your secret?" Brutus answers "Actually, I let my son fill them out." "No kidding? He must be a college basketball expert." "He picked each bracket based on how much he liked each school mascot."

I was going to fill out a bracket for my work fantasy thing but the first game had been on for three minutes when I logged in. Oh well.

Screenshot from a Threads social post by Heather Buchanan reading: "Made my first march madness bracket, mostly based on how I reacted upon seeing the mascots. Go Xavier! And all the teams with dogs!" with a picture of the Xavier Blue Blob.

Thanks for your support and readership!

Thursday, March 20, 2025

Don't You Mean Spring Has Sproinged?

A mother shoos her little boy--wearing a Lord Fauntleroy outfit and beret--into the other room. "Now run in and say hello to your aunts, darling. They love you very much!" The boy goes into the other where two women are. They begin cooing and fawning over him. "Whose little man are you?" asks one. "Yes, who is this little man?" asks the other. "Sheesh!" the boy says, upset, and goes back to the room with his mother. "They don't even know who I am!" he yells.

April 15, 1966

I don't like it when family members do this. I never know if I need to remind them who I am or if they are joking around and/or being cute. Anyway, hire me if you want to ruin any family gathering. I'll even dress like this kid if you pay extra.

This kid sounds like the kid in Spike Jones' "All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth", right? Definitely sounds like George Rock.

Veeblefester stands at a file cabinet doing some filing(?) as a 'sproing sproing' noise happens in the distance. We close-up on Veeblefester's face, which is horrifying, as the 'sproinging' gets closer. Brutus then bounces by on a pogo stick shouted with delight "Spring has sprung!" as he sproings away.

Brutus spent somewhere between $60-100 on a pogo stick for what is kind of a dangerous bit that could get him or someone hurt and possibly fired and/or sued? I mean, it's his money. And he seems better at pogo-ing than I would be.

Thank you for your support and readership!

Wednesday, March 19, 2025

Bald Knob

A man walks out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, dripping wet and leaving puddles on the floor. He answers the phone exclaiming "No, this is 1-01-6!" emphasizing the 6.

April 14, 1966

These type of jokes are always good for a chuckle, but I always question if the phone call is worth getting out of the shower. It never is. Besides, if it was actually important, they will call back. They will call back repeatedly.

Brutus and Mother Gargle are angrily staring at each other with their arms crossed. "Why must you constantly be getting in my hair?" Brutus asks. Mother Gargle covers her mouth to snicker and points at Brutus' head. "I mean that figuratively!" he says.

Why does Brutus set himself up like this? He's just asking for some kind of retort or insult or comment. He leaves himself open like that and he's just going to lose.

I would prefer some kind of *snort* or other stifled laugh sound, not a tee-hee like some four-year-old girl. Mother Gargle hasn't tee-hee'd in 75 years.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can utilize the new Support page at the top. Thank you for your support and readership!

Tuesday, March 18, 2025

Late Berate

A man is on his knees, angrily pulling bubblegum off his mouth and face. His kid, sitting on the floor watching TV says "Can I help it if you kiss me when I'm blowing a bubble?"

April 13, 1966

Ew. This is why men are always withholding when showing affection to their children. And it's going to be hell getting the gum out of proto-Brutus' mustache.

Brutus is walking into work, being immediately greeted by Veeblefester. "Why must you always be late, Thornapple?" Veeblefester asks. "Well, Chief, you have to allow time for my long commute to work," Brutus says. "You'd arrive late even if you lived next door to the office!"

Does Brutus think his 8-5 work schedule mean even his commute to work and back home should take place during those hours? I mean, I guess it's worth a try. More power to him.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can utilize the new Support link at the top of the page. Thank you for your support and readership!

Monday, March 17, 2025

"Everybody Is Irish on Saint Patrick's Day" Is the Only Acceptable Cultural Appropriation Apparently

A boss is tied up to a chair. "It was my hope that you'd all accept my 'No bonus, no overtime pay, one-week vacation, or else' ultimatum in better spirit!" while four employees are giving the boss a hot foot, pouring water on his head, smoking(?!) and about to detonate dynamite tied to his leg.

April 12, 1966

You know, if a boss offered this kind of ultimatum now, it would be accepted. One week of vacation? Hot damn!

I am a bit confused with what the woman is doing. Smoking? Does the boss not like cigarette smoke? I get it. But I am concerned about the guy with the dynamite plunger. Won't that kill you all?

Wilberforce is sitting on the ottoman while Brutus is sitting in his green chair. "Hurricane Hattie O'Hara is so lucky to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I wish I was Irish," Wilberforce bemoans. "Let me tell you a secret...Everyone is Irish on Saint Paddy's Day, my boy," Brutus exclaims. "Just put on a green shirt, walk into any gathering of Irish people, say 'Erin Go Braugh!' and you'll be welcomed with open arms!"

Yeah, I'm not gonna do any of that. I feel this would just give the Irish an excuse to punch me.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can utilize the new Support page at the top of the page. Thank you for your support and readership!

Sunday, March 16, 2025

1-888-5ON-HOLD

Brutus is lounging in a chair with his feet up on the ottoman and smoking a pipe as Gladys walks by carrying a vase(?). She stops to look at Brutus. "Oh, I love to see a man with a pipe," she says. "It looks so macho...so virile!" "Thank you, my dear!" Brutus responds as Gladys walks away. Brutus begins smoking the pipe and bubbles begin flowing out of it, drifting through the room until reaching Gladys, who stops to look at the bubbles, angrily confused.

December 7, 1986

Hey, I get it. Who doesn't love a man smoking a pipe?

Neil Goldman from Family Guy smoking a pipe.

Mm. This just exudes sex.

Why is Gladys carrying around that vase? Or, I guess it could be a giant urn.

Brutus is on the phone. He's on his cell phone but that doesn't explain why he is holding it up to his nose instead of his ear. He is standing in a room with a big bowl of apples on what I'm going to assume is a credenza. The phone rings and then an automated voice answers "Hello, you have reached customer service. All of our representatives are currently busy. Your call is important to us. Your approximate wait time is twenty minutes...Your call is important to us. Your approximate wait time is fifteen minutes...Your call is important to us. Your approximate wait time is ten minutes...Your call is important to us. Your approximate wait time is five minutes..." Brutus gets less and less thrilled with this phone call with each passing panel. "Your call is very important to us. Our offices are now closed. Please call back another time..." Brutus just looks angry in the last panel.

I've commented before on how the cell phones in this strip look like the turtle communicators from the 1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And repeatedly commented on why these characters never hold the phone up to their ear. This strip features both of those tropes. I do appreciate that it seems like Chip is phasing out landlines in the Thornapple household. Maybe the Sansom household has ditched landlines.

What is with the apples? I've never been more upset at a McGuffin.

In case you missed it, a horror comic story "Snakes Alive" posted on Saturday. If you want to support me or this website, you can utilize the new Support page. Thank you for your support and readership!