Things We'll Do for Money

I really hope this is a week-long storyline. If anything, I hope tomorrow's strip shows Wilberforce goofing off and Brutus asking him why he isn't doing chores.

Or. Or Brutus walks in on Wilberforce making easier money by wearing yoga pants with his ass pointed at a camera while people watch on Twitch. If you subscribe he'll write your name on a dry erase board. If you gift subs, he'll write your name on his body.

Not Earned

I never did chores growing up so I never had an allowance. I think my mom offered money per good grade one time but I don't think anything came of that either. We tried to do an allowance with my son that lasted about a month or so.

To be fair, I didn't really need chores to solidify me being responsible. Getting a job at 14 and working over the last 24 years solidified that.

Are You Brutus?

What the hell is Wilberforce watching?!

Hey, Gladys, your son wants to talk with his father about something he's interested in right now. Instead of interrupting and making a rude comment, how about you just sit down and listen? Wilberforce asked Brutus, not you.

No. 6: Pinkfong and Baby Shark's Space Adventure

Back in 2018, "Baby Shark" made a huge splash on the internet. Racking up over 8 billion views, "Baby Shark" is the most watched video on YouTube. The song was released by Pinkfong, a Korean children's entertainment company. "Baby Shark" was huge as the giant numbers attached to the Pinkfong YouTube account can prove. In 2019, Pinkfong released Pinkfong and Baby Shark's Space Adventure. It's an hour-long sing-along of some random songs and about half a dozen variations of "Baby Shark".

The premise is Pinkfong, a pink fox prince, and Baby Shark are tooling around space when they wind up in a meteor storm. Pinkfong's guiding star is broken into several pieces and they have to crash land on a Dino Planet which is really when the story begins. After a song where we learn that (boom! boom!) dinosaurs used to walk, run, swim, and fly, Pinkfong and Baby Shark meet a large tyrannosaurus rex and his son, Baby T-Rex. Now, there were probably a dozen or more writers on this thing but we still get this very weird line during the Baby T-Rex song, sung to the tune of "I'm a Little Teapot", I'm a baby T-Rex short and small/This is my arm/This is my leg. What? That's the best you could come up with? I know songs don't have to rhyme but this is lazy.

Welcome to the Dinosaur World!

After Pinkfong and Baby Shark explain their predicament, Baby T-Rex thinks he can help them and then we're treated to a song about who's the king of the dinosaurs: Tyrannosaurus Rex or Spinosaurus? The song doesn't come to any conclusions. With the help of Daddy T-Rex, Baby Shark is able to spot part of Pinkfong's star in a nest of tyrannosaurus eggs. Pinkfong has the first piece of his star but oh, my! The volcano is erupting.

T-Rex has everyone throw rocks and stones into the volcano which stops it from erupting. Now, I'm no volcanologist but I would think that would make the volcano worse. Oh, well, everybody seems happy.

With a star piece in hand, Pinkfong and Baby Shark leave the Dino Planet and go to the next planet, The Jungle Planet, where we get too many songs about bananas and the animals just spend their time washing their clothes.

A song about the lion being king of the jungle/savannah plays and the roar scares Pinkfong and Baby Shark. Luckily, the lion is immediately emasculated because Joe Biden is president and the lion has fallen in love with a deer.

"I love you, deer!"

Pinkfong and Baby Shark befriend a little monkey who helps the two gather bananas to eat and find the next piece of the star. They are then off to the next planet, a Spooky Halloween-themed Planet. Here, we get the best song in the bunch about Creepy Zombies having fun. One of the zombies though kind of stands out. He's clearly in a suit and has lipstick on his cheek. Now, I'm not positive but I think this zombie was murdered by a prostitute or her pimp. Maybe there's another explanation but this is the backstory I'm going with.

Three creepy zombies
Went out to trick or treat
Everybody danced to the spooky beat.

Pinkfong and Baby Shark meet Skinny Mike, a skeleton who leads them to a pumpkin patch where the third star piece is. But before they leave, they are treated to one last song which is just "Baby Shark" but the sharks are wearing Halloween costumes.

The next planet is an 8-Bit Planet where everything is made of tiny squares. No one ever says the word 'pixel'.

The first song we get on this 8-Bit, video game-like planet is about fucking Santa Claus. That's right, Santa Claus. It's like they wanted to include a Christmas song but just couldn't bring themselves to create a snow-covered planet where a song about Santa would make more sense. More than likely, and I am just speculating here, the music videos were already made and the producers and writers had to create a cohesive story around the songs they already had and they figured the Santa song fits better here than any of the other planets. Anyway, Pinkfong and Baby Shark immediately find the star piece, play a quick game of Baby Shark Adventure on the arcade and watch an 8-bit rendition of "Baby Shark" before heading off to the next planet which just happens to be Baby Shark's home, Ocean Planet.

Pinkfong has never been to Baby Shark's home world. I don't know how they ended up together but Pinkfong has never been to Baby Shark's home world. Moving on, Pinkfong meets Baby Shark's family and they offer to help find the last star piece but they can't find anything because of the pollution. What? It's an ocean planet, how can there be pollution? So the sharks and Pinkfong clean the ocean and find the last star piece.

After a few more songs, Pinkfong puts the last star piece on the front of his ship, says his good-byes, and heads off to his own home planet of Staria. Mommy Shark (do! do! do-do, do-do!) reassures Baby Shark that he will see Pinkfong again and as it turns out, he will because the five planets they visited make the outline of Pinkfong's head somehow. Anyway, this short movie is inoffensive, very colorful, and worth a viewing if you have small children. Here's a shot from my favorite part of the show.

After being terrorized by these sharks for years, the fish
will finally get their revenge.

🎵Get on the banana rocket

Zoom zoomy zoom!

Get on the banana boat

Vroom vroomy vroom!🎶

Have Some Hard Candy 🍬

Shut up, Mother Gargle. It's just rain and Hattie lives down the block in the tipped over 24 foot RV. No need to worry.

It's like the 100+ year old woman my mom took care of for a few months who was still stuck in the 1940s and said for extra money you should pick up cans and bottles from the street. Just sitting in her chair going "Buy war bonds. Wear your galoshes. Women shouldn't be governor or president." Not like we'll be any better when we're old.

Please Don't Make Eye Contact With Me

I don't see how sleeping in that position in a chair leads to the best sleep in ages. Their bed must really be crappy or Gladys takes up too much of it.

It's strange how no matter how much you love your significant other, that one night they aren't in bed with you can lead to a good night's sleep.

💤

Ha! Classic person over the age of 40. I wish there was a way Chip could've included a clock in the background with the hands in the first two panels reading 10:05 and it reading in the last panel 10:20. Lousy small panels and bulky word balloons.

I am off for the next two months (off from my real job that is) and I'm hoping to get a lot of writing done during this time. I have things ready to go this Sunday so make sure to check it out. If you would like to support my writing or research or my non-paycheck-getting butt in general, you can buy me a coffee over on Ko-fi.

Survey Says

Why even have the 'undecided' choice on the survey? Are you satisfied or not? Putting 'undecided' basically means giving people a reason not to put 'disgruntled'.

Anyway, 67% of employees hate working for Veeblefester but only 33% have the courage to say so--even in an anonymous survey.

Washing Machine Agenda

If that's not a brand-new shirt then it's not going to shrink Brutus. But you know that. Don't go blaming the washing machine for your lack of shirts fitting. I don't and most of my shirts now fit like Brutus' shirt here.

Golden Moldy

Eh. I don't want to comment on this.

I would've much rather had Wilberforce coming out or Hurricane Hattie revealing that she's trans. It is Pride Month. That's what happens, right? Just slap some rainbow stuff on everything and call it good? Honestly, anything sounds better than this stupid Brutus Vs. Mother Gargle garbage we get about once a week.