Work Drainage

Doesn't seem to be. Brutus is still just hanging out at the watercooler. Brutus is probably having some kind of existential crisis. These things happen from time to time.

We can't all just stay home all day, watch soap operas, and eat bon-bons, Gladys.

Do Nothing

Bobbo, Brooke and Max stood in the line that had formed in the media center. They had been waiting just a few minutes and kids ahead of them got their picture taken and then went back to class. "This is going to be the best picture day I've ever had," Bobbo said, smiling big at Brooke and Max.

"What makes you say that?" Max asked.

"Ever since Kindergarten, I've never had a good picture in the yearbook. Kindergarten it was the first year of static electricity, first grade it was not having, like, any teeth, second grade was the mullet, third was the second year of static electricity, fourth was my shiny shaved head..."

"I loved that one," Max laughed.

"I liked the mullet but the static electricity has its own charms," Brooke nodded.

"Fifth grade," Bobbo loudly began "was the psychotic smile. Sixth grade was the 'picture not available' text because I was out with scurvy and seventh grade was that giant pimple next to my nose."

"It was like you had two noses," Max said.

"But this year, everything is perfect. I'm wearing a good shirt, I have no facial blemishes, my hair is combed and lying flat," Bobbo began. "I'm finally going to have a good picture for my parents to give out and in the yearbook."

"I wouldn't be too sure. I mean, you still have to get up there and smile," Brooke said.

"Yeah, what if your smile is like this?" Max contorted his face, his upper lip covered his top teeth, he closed one eye and he tilted his head slightly.

"I'm not going to smile like that," Bobbo said. "Just a simple smile, like this." Bobbo smiled daintily. His lips barely parted and his eyes seemed to sparkle.

"That's some fine work, Bobbo," Brooke said.

"I still have nightmares about your fifth grade picture," Max said.

"I was trying not to close my eyes," Bobbo said. "I don't know why I thought I had to have my eyes that wide open."

"You need to be more like me," Max said. "I look exactly the same in every yearbook."

"But you don't smile, you just sit there like a lump with no expression."

"And I look good doing it."

"It's true, he does," Brooke agreed.

"Well, we can't all look good fighting the battle of who could care less," Bobbo sighed.

The line moved forward quite a bit as several kids got their picture and left. The photographer then moved the kids up so they were closer to where the pictures were being taken. Bobbo ran some fingers through his hair and readjusted his shirt. "Your shoe is untied," Brooke said.

Bobbo looked down and saw his shoelaces untied, sprawling out from his foot. He bent down and began tying them. The door he was standing beside opened and the knob smashed him in the face. The knob went right into his eye and knocked him back.

"Oh, geez," said the teacher who came in using the door, after realizing that he hit a student with the doorknob. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so," Bobbo said, covering his eye with his hand but not actually touching it.

Brooke and Max helped Bobbo back up. He removed his hand from his eye and his friends saw the giant bruise surrounding the outside half of his eye. "Well, you can add 'black eye' to your list of bad pictures," Max said.

"Seriously?" Bobbo freaked out. "It bruised already?"

"You were hit pretty hard," Brooke said. "Here," she handed him a mirror so he could look at his eye.

"Oh, man. Somehow this makes the mullet look good."

"I don't know about that," Max said softly.

"Do you have any makeup or something that I can put on?"

"I have that mirror, some lip gloss, and a couple tampons. Why would I have makeup. I don't even wear makeup," Brooke asked. "Just ask the photographer if you can turn your head a certain way or something. They're a professional. They may know some secrets or something."

"Next," the photographer called. Bobbo went up to the stool. "Name?"

"Robert Griffin," Bobbo said. "Hey, do you have any tips for hiding this black..."

The camera flashed and clicked twice. "All done. Next," the photographer called.

"What? I wasn't ready."

"You looked fine, sweetie. Next."

"Great," Bobbo said, looking at the proofs of his pictures a couple weeks later. "At least the gaping maw that makes me look like a drooling idiot and my raised finger that looks like I'm about to pick my nose and whatever my other eye is doing in this picture distracts from my black eye."

"This is my new favorite thing," Max laughed.

"It now goes this one, mullet Bobbo, and summer teeth Bobbo," Brooke said.

"Maybe I can get some new friends before the next picture day," Bobbo sighed.  ▩

If you would like to support my writing or research, you can buy me a cup of coffee on Ko-Fi.

Kids these days, amirite? It's probably really hard for them to find something to do because they don't have phones. If they had phones, they'd still be sitting at the table but at least their hands would be doing something.

He Can't Math Why Get So Upset?

I'll try that, too. I love carrot cake. Fun fact, carrot cake and vegan carrot cake are the same thing. The only difference is the eggs. Carrot cake uses eggs while the vegan carrot cake uses flax eggs.

What the hell is this?

"That's it! To the box with you!"

It was about sixth grade when I was done learning math. My sixth grade math teacher was all "You can do this" and I was all "No, I can't." Now, my seventh grade math teacher, who was one of my favorite teachers, was all "Yeah, maybe you can't do this" and I was all "You get me". Low math expectations from that point on. It was bliss.

Marchtember 41st

Is Veeblefester going to call all of his employees in and do this? That seems really time consuming and he should have better things to do. Like go down to the warehouse, kick a ladder out from under someone and yell:

That's a much proper use of time.

Just Download an App

Gladys has been on virtually every diet ever created-slash-renamed so one would think she'd know what a calculator is for but whatever. Why is Brutus starting his diet on February 27--a Wednesday?

Work Day

You know, non-essential items. You got that kid that you don't need. Just drop him off at the fire station and that'll save you a lot of money right there.

Emfasize? Emffasize? It's things like this why Brutus never gets the raises he requests.

There Is An Extra Line

William Douthitt was born in Vevay, Illinois in 1827. He studied law and graduated from the University of Illinois in Bloomington. He came to Kansas aboard a steamboat from St. Louis, landing in Leavenworth, in 1857. He came to Topeka in 1859 and immediately began a life. Douthitt was an attorney and operated a law firm for most his life in Topeka, the last with his son-in-law, Eugene Wolfe.

Douthitt tried the first case in Shawnee County, in Tecumseh, then the county seat, which was over a promissory note. He was elected to the legislature in 1863 and was instrumental in getting the railroad and telegraphs installed in Kansas--connecting the forts and major cities in eastern Kansas. Douthitt had a house at 3rd and Van Buren and then owned an 80 acre tract of land along Kansas Avenue that stretched from Kansas to what is now Central Park Avenue between 14th and Euclid (17th) Street. Both houses have been torn down but you could see the Kansas Capitol from each house.

Views of the Kansas Capitol from 3rd & Van
Buren (r.) and 15th & Kansas.

On his land he kept a veterans' campsite where veterans could come and stay. Being just north of the fairgrounds meant that Douthitt's land was very attractive to developers in the latter part of the 19th Century but Douthitt held off on selling the land until 1897 when he deeded it to his daughters and son-in-law.

William Douthitt died of paralysis (possibly a stroke) on November 28, 1897. A funeral was held in his house and he was buried in Topeka Cemetery. Soon after his death, his land was opened for development. Polk and Tyler Streets were extended through the property and two other streets were build east to west. The first, an extension of 15th Street, was named Douthitt Avenue. The other was named Huntington Street after Douthitt's grandmother.

ca. 1905 map of Topeka showing Douthitt and Huntington Streets

The streets kept those names until the city, wanting consistency in the names of their streets, renamed Douthitt to 15th Street and Huntington to 16th. A small portion of Douthitt Avenue still exists between Central Park Avenue and Western Avenue, a nearly forgotten memorial to one of Topeka's first pioneers.

Sadly, I could not find much on Douthitt's family. He married but I could not find his wife's name, and had at least three daughters and one son--Ada, Laura, Louise, and John. After his father's death, John got caught up in a messy divorce. Louise married Eugene Wolfe in 1891 and they had two children, William and Eugene. Sadly, Eugene would pass away in 1899 of a sudden illness at the age of 34.

Lt. William Douthitt
Lawyer ~ Pioneer

This originally appeared in a somewhat different format on my Twitter. If you would like to support my writing and research, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-Fi.

I wonder how much I would have to pay Chip to never draw Gladys like in the third panel ever again.

Ad Space

What is Brutus watching that still fades out with "And now a word from our sponsor"? This isn't the 1940s or 1950s when Phillip Morris or Kellogg would sponsor an entire series. A show might now have dozens of sponsors rotating through its advertising space. And this isn't a new development. It's been like this since the late 1960s. Get with the times, Chip.

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It's funny because they have no money and no plan for retirement will end up destitute and homeless at the age of 80 or, even funnier, Brutus will have to continue working into his seventies and drop dead on the tea cozy production floor. *sigh* The American dream.

6'3" 243 lbs

You know what's funny about comic strips? Aside from that literally being their purpose? That no matter how much weight you lose, your illustrator continues to draw you in exactly the same way. I'm also constantly confused by Mother Gargle's harassing of Brutus over his weight when she has exactly the same body type as him.