Veeblefester Cares So Much

Here's how I believe this one-sided conversation got started:

Veeblefester:  "Hello, Thornapple."

Brutus:  "Hey, Chief. I was thinking yesterday during the Ovaltine-Argyle Sox game about the designated hitter. First the purpose of the designated hitter is to insert meaning here and then continue on with a long and tedious diatribe about desginated hitting."

I don't like it when people do that to me but I usually can't just tell that person to shut up. So I just typically feign interest while looking at other things to entertain me like the bark peeling off a tree or something. Sooner or later, they always get the hint.

Take That, Bush!!

The best email I have ever received, aside from a couple chain letters and an email from ex telling me what she liked during sex, is one I received when I worked for that cable company. One of the upper manager's email was hacked and this email was sent to everyone who worked at the company. Names and incriminating evidence has been removed.

The literal meaning of {redacted} might as well be nepotism. Unless you either live with {redacted} or a are a member of his band the probability of you being promoted into upper management is miniscule at best.
(I mean come on his entire band is in management and Cheryl the BSDM Nazi Grey lived with him and his wife when she began her tenure here,only moving out when a disgruntled employee threatened to take that information to the top since Cheryl wouldn't leave here alone as is common {redacted} policy though they forced that employee to quit in order to protect themselves. Then there is the scum at the front desk who called an African american employee the N word and when said employee complained about it they were pulled into the other Cheryl's office and told that they would lose their job if they didn't remain quiet about it. The best part to all of this is there are witnesses and records of everything just described. Toodles.

That email is word for word. Including the "Toodles" at the end. That place had problems. And as far as I know, still does. There was a cleaning crew who came in overnights to empty trash and clean so me and the other overnighters became kind of friendly with them. One night they came in and they came up to tell us they had to confront the man in charge because someone had...defecated in his office. The cleaning crew said "We'll clean it up this time, but if it happens again it's an additional $200."

After I received the email, I seriously thought about quitting. When both of the other people I worked with quit, I decided to leave, too. And I never looked back, no matter how desperate I was.

Well, it took 23 years but someone has finally come up with a joke poking fun at former President George H.W. Bush's campaign promise to not create new taxes (or raise the existing ones). And it's about time because President Bush the XLI has been getting off too easy.

Their Name Is Mud

Shortly after I started working for that cable company mentioned a couple days ago, I got really mad at the way the place was being run (back-to-back calls, no troubleshooting worked and it was during a switch-over so no one's equipment was working) so I left. I walked out and just started driving. I wound up in Burlington, Kansas at around two in the morning. I then noticed that a police car was following me. I wasn't doing anything so I didn't think anything of it until they finally pulled me over. Basically they were wondering why someone from Lawrence was in Burlington so I told them the truth. I got mad at work so I left and just kept driving. That answer didn't appease them and the cop muttered something about drug houses and such.

Anyway, it took a while to persuade him that I was not up to no good but he finally let me go and I returned back to Lawrence. The next day, I went to work and everybody was all "Where did you go? We tried to call you? Why didn't you come back to work?" I responded with "Something suddenly came up" and left it at that. I didn't get yelled at, didn't get punished and everybody still liked me.

Tomorrow: NEPOTISM

I'm not a big horoscope person, I like to read them and I do think my personality matches my sign but I don't get the "compatibility" part of it. If you really care for someone it doesn't matter if your two signs don't get along. Besides, it may make the marriage more interesting.

Also, Hattie, Gladys is an adult and you should call her Mrs. Thornapple. I know it doesn't trip easily off the tongue but, honestly, neither does Gladys.

...Just Gonna Lose Anyway

Yes.

I don't know what the joke is. That Wilberforce is pissed that he has to listen to the game or that he used the word "watch" instead of "listen".

100th Birthday

It's Lucille Ball's 100th birthday today and I really don't have anything planned for it. Several months ago I posted a "Thursday Comics" featuring some Lucy comics so feel free to check those out. There is a new post over at the DCR with a couple comics and a LAMNB post should be up later today.

Fridays Just Got Slightly Better

I'm now over at the DCR on Fridays and Saturday so you should head on over and check out my first Friday post. There's some Dick Tracy, Big Nate and a innuendo-esque Arlo and Janis.

He Found Those AOL CDs

When I started working overnight for a cable company, it was very easy. We had no supervisors so if for some reason someone wanted to speak with a supervisor we just told them to call back at 8 because there are no supervisors overnight. Almost every night there was this woman who called in--using a quiet, monotone voice to order a porn movie. She was very professional it. "I want to order 'Hard Bodies, Harder Sex XIV' on box 123457'. It was always on just the one box. We speculated what was going on but I just figured she really liked her porn.

One night we came in and was told one of our coworkers wasn't going to be working there anymore. We asked why and was told that he was fired because he was using his work computer to view child pornography. Turns out the guy had a rap sheet for lewd conduct with a minor and aggravated assault on a minor and for exposing himself to a minor. I should've figured something was up because I sat almost across from him and he always had his monitor turned at a weird angle and he would just sit there between calls clicking the mouse and mumbling occasionally.

I hated working that job mainly because of the way the business was run. I quit after a year. I should have a post up over at the DCR later tonight. I hope you enjoy that and yesterday and today's comics.

I don't think your therapist meant that literally. What people mean when they say "walk a mile in another person's shoes" is to think about how that person feels and see what could be...you know what, Brutus, you are an idiot. Let's move on.

People don't call it the Information Superhighway anymore. People barely call it the World Wide Web. Just call it the Internet. I don't care what lame joke you are aiming for.

The Jersey Shore--Thornapple Style

Brutus does not seem like a tan kind of guy. Also, why is it so important for people to have tans. It seems as if every girl I know can't live through the summer without getting a tan. And they never want a real tan--one given to you by the sun. They want the crappy looking fake tans that make you look like Snooki.

I mean, don't me wrong. I'd totally do her. I would just feel immense shame afterward. Does Chip get spray-on tans. I don't know why I am asking because I really don't want to know the answer.

It's a Jacuzzi-brand Birdbath, Actually

The sun needs to quit hugging the Earth because I swear things are starting to spontaneously combust.

I wish I could get this story finished. I've been working on it for a while and it's not like I've been on it for months like some of my previous ones but I am so close to being done that it's aggravating that I can't just sit down and get it done. The only problem is that I need to actually type it now. You see, like a weirdo, I hand-write everything before trusting technology with my stuff. That way I always have a copy of it if my computer or jump drive decides to be a douche. It also requires me to read the story and do some editing if the story needs it. So I literally need to write the entire story over again all so it can be published some time next year. I know. I know. Here's today's comic.

Why did we go back to black and white comics? Not that I'm complaining but I liked this strip in color. It added something to the, let's face it, minimalistic and downright boring artwork.

Back to Black (and White)

I finally get a computer so I can get online and do some writing and I have done zero to little of that. Oh well, I will at least try to get some comic strip commentary posted every day.

Luckily the Great Thornapple Vacation was just going to include camping in the backyard so it's not like Brutus will be missing anything. And since the recent temperature around here has been over 100 for the last three weeks, I can't even imagine staying outside for long periods of time.