Vacation Had to Get Away

September 29, 1966

I want to know how you didn't know someone was in the bathroom. And why are you using such shiny paint? Maybe it's varnish or something for a hardwood floor.

So Brutus, and I'm assuming the rest of the family, went on vacation and we didn't get to see it. Sure, we get a repeat of the damn Keane family and their idiotic vacation to New York City every ten years or so, but God forbid we see the Thornapples taking in the sights of beautiful Muncie, Indiana.

Actual Constructive Criticism

April 9, 1966

I think all naval mines are dangerous, I don't think we need the Imperial Japan flag on it.

Look, Brutus, I suggest you keep being the mediocre employee you are, because if you become good at your job, they will just make you work more or add stuff to your responsibilities for no extra money and that is just awful.

Bloodhound Gang

October 19, 1986

I'm assuming there is cash in the safe if Mother Gargle needs cash for...something...I guess if the furnace goes out or Wilberforce is kidnapped.

Mother Gargle steals from her daughter and son-in-law. What a good person.

Holy shit, enough about Rusty and Blue.

A "chow hound" is a cross between chow-chows and basset hounds. Kewpie is not that either.

Check out Saturday's post on local confectioner Charles Junod. If you would like to support me or the website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Monday Quickies

December 27, 1965

This is a beach priest. He has no power over you.

Cool. Now things in Brutus' house are trying to kill him.

Worthless Boy of Summer

November 10, 1965

Technically, if he were to take one of those "when will you die" quizzes, I bet it would say he's already dead. "Am I already dead?" "Oh, no. That would be terrible. It says next Thursday."

Are the Scandinavian countries different than Europe? Maybe she's just more excited about being alone with those Scandinavian men. Or Scandinavian ladies.

I'm impressed the coach puts Wilberforce up to bat so much. Even if there's a "each of your players have to be up at bat" rule, coaches usually put those kids in when the stakes are low--not five times. Although I've been following the Weasels for years now and the whole team is pretty awful.

2022.

It's Five O'Clock Somewhere

August 12, 1965

I was going to find a comic of a man that had picked to the bones by the birds he was feeding but I couldn't find one. I could've sworn Gahan Wilson illustrated something like that. Instead, I found these two Far Side cartoons.

Brutus gets a spring break? I guess it's just a vacation that happens to be around spring break. I don't know why Brutus told Veeblefester that he was leaving. Just go. Get out of there!

It's All Greek to Him

June 8, 1965

Art is going to blow up your house while you are on vacation.

Is this guy supposed to be something? Insurance agent or something? Or is he just a weirdo?

That's just the kind of joke Wilberforce doesn't understand.

I was in fourth grade and I never had to write a report on Greek mythology. It's like adults can never remember what they were actually taught in school and when. Like Charlie Brown having a read and write a book report on War and Peace. Yes, I get it's a joke, but still...

Big Dinner? It's 4, Maybe 5 People

October 5, 1977

What does losing weight have to do with going to England? Because food portions are smaller? Because England is more walkable? Because you went to the ruins of castle and the stairs to the tower collapsed, trapping you without food for four days?

Yes, sir! It's great that we're doing this the Wednesday--Wednesday?!!--before Thanksgiving. This is the best idea we've had in a long time. Perfect. No notes.

You Want Your Money's Worth

October 25, 1976

I'm going to assume that Veeblefester didn't even put a return address on the postcard or Gladys would've known who it was from. Maybe she doesn't read postcards that aren't for her. That shows great willpower and I'm impressed.

Veeblefester still sent the postcard. It's the thought that counts.

Another free plug for BritBox.

If she doesn't watch out, she's going to turn into a British mystery show. Innit, guv'ner?

Yacht Rocked

January 16, 1986

Oh, no! The Thornapples are those kind of people.

Fungus Falls sounds like a...fun(?)...place...? People just don't want to watch a slideshow of your vacation because people tend to not care about things that don't happen to them, and they don't want to take a chance and possibly see Gladys in a bikini.

Oh, Brutus just lied about having a yacht. I thought he deceived her using more nefarious methods and I was not going to be on board for that.

Rancid & Lividea's Hawaiian Vacation

Headlines found during a search:

"Prices are going up and CEOs are making out like bandits"

"As inflation eats up worker wages, CEOs get a 7.7% raise"

"CEOs are driving Greedflation, raising prices to pay themselves more"

"How corporations are using inflation to take your money"

"One thing is beating inflation in this economy, CEO pay"

"How Excuseflation is keeping prices--and corporate profits high"

"Prices at the supermarket keep rising, and so do corporate profits"

So, no, someone doesn't have to be let go. You're just greedy.

And this, again, raises questions about Brutus' place in the company. Brutus seems really high up on the totem pole but gets paid crap. Who else is above Brutus? He only talks business with Veeblefester.

I just realized the copyright is 2018 so these are old strips and I've already commented on them. When this strip first ran, I made a long diatribe about voting and a special election in Ohio. This time, I'm going believe they are arguing about what the movie Barbie is about. Gladys believes it's a commentary on being a woman with sly commentary on manhood while Brutus believes it's about a girl getting her first period.

It's why Gladys is wearing pink.

Rich people have problems, too. *draws fake tear down my cheek*

I've never seen Brutus meditate so why is he suggesting it? "Have you ever tried meditation to help you relax, Chief? I personally haven't, but I've heard about it!"

2018.

I kind of thought these were reruns when I saw the preview for this strip talking about "superfoods" which is something people haven't mentioned since 2019.

2018.

If I were put in charge, I'd whip this place into shape and then steal money. Those moneybags are just sitting out for anyone to take. I doubt he locks them up.

2018.

This is Gladys' response to Wilberforce asking "What the hell is this?"

2018.

The Veeblefesters. Can afford. To pay. For their own trip to Hawaii! Although now is probably one of the worst times to win a vacation to Hawaii considering a good chunk of an island has burned down. That won't stop a bunch of selfish white people though.

If you would like to support the people of Hawaii and the residents of Maui, you can donate through the Hawai'i Community Foundation.

Here is the link to my original post for the first comic.

Didn't Even Bring His Family--That's a Vacation!

November 5, 1975

Brutus: Picky little prick about his coffee since 1975.

Just use what I wrote yesterday, just replace "decaf" with "sugar".

Good for Brutus for taking a vacation. I haven't had a vacation since 2018. Extra props for not answering the phone. Could just silence it though. The implication here is that Brutus just took a day off to go to a nearby beach. Cleveland has beaches. I looked them up. Again, good for him.

The other day, while waiting for my tacos, that god awful Alan Jackson/Jimmy Buffett song "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere" came over the jukebox. Jesus, it's terrible.

She Forgot Because It Was the Fourth

August 9, 1974

Ugh, I can't believe Brutus used to wear that toupee places. At least it's going to be knocked off by that wave and he won't have it anymore.

Gladys is laughing because he looks stupid with that toupee and is about to get pulled out with the undercurrent and die.

No! No. No-no-no-no-no-no-no. Wilberforce's birthday was not yesterday. Yesterday was the Fourth of July. The comic was about that. Nowhere does it mention Wilberforce's birthday. "But, Brian," I hear you say "a date can be two things." Not in this case. They talked about the Fourth of July in yesterday's comic strip so that is all they did yesterday.

Where Are They Going?

At least it was when I was writing this. Not paying your bills, trying to change something and breaking it, purposely throttling usage, poor little rich boy needed attention, whatever the reason, that's bad business coming from a so-called business genius. I'm sure Twitter will be back to its somewhat functional self at some point, but until then and after you call find me here and at one of the many other social network sites. Everything is linked in my LinkTree.

November 4, 1985

That seems like a decent vacation. That's a lot of places. And it probably only cost, like, $100. I don't know what vacations cost--either back in 1985 or today because I never go on vacation.

He started in Ciudad? Which ciudad? Ciudad means 'city'. It's not an actual place name. Maybe if chubby Henry Mitchell would shut up, someone would tell him.

How could Brutus never hear of Galileo?! Even if you don't really know who he is or what he's known for, you've heard his name. Maybe Brutus is just being purposely obtuse so Veeblefester won't talk to him.

Veeblefester is so rich that he can have a car custom made for himself. Or Rancid W. Veeblefester is a legacy name handed down to Veeblefester men for generations and one of those men started a car company and let's just say that's very possible the RWV Motor Company has a shady past.

It's summer, so I don't have a job! If you would like to support me or my website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Meanwhile, Brutus Can Barely Afford Groceries...

May 6, 1974

Wilberforce likes museums? Maybe I had the little guy all wrong. I don't know what disgusting thing Brutus is referencing here but he apparently approves of it, just don't do it in public.

Yet, somehow, he pays less of a percentage in taxes than I do.🤷

You know what we should do? Storm Veeblefester's mansion, kill him, eat him, and take his money.

Summer Days

April 15, 1974

This is how my wife when I start in on role playing. "You're family does not approve of me..." "Are you okay, Brian? Is this a bit?"

Have you met Mother Gargle? She would definitely approve of a dashing millionaire playboy wooing her daughter over Brutus any day. "You're rich? Here's my daughter. Do whatever you want with her!"

You think vacations just grow on trees, kid?

"No-cation? Gee, Pop, can't we even go to a museum or the zoo or something?" "Of course not. Have you seen the economy?"

Ice To See You Today

November 4, 1984

I was going to say after the third panel "Just tell him you've heard this before. Quit just listing cities. Talk to me about what you did in those cities." But then I saw that he didn't skip a beat after Brutus shouted out that his life was now in shambles. It appears the only way to stop him is with death. It doesn't look like anyone else is around...

"Okay. After I get up, I'm gonna start winning."

"This year sucks!"

*just dies*

Just pick one of those as the joke. Hope your 2023 is merry and bright.

Can't Get No Satisfaction

August 14, 1973

$70?!? You're spending way too much on the sun. Who's your sun guy?

I guess they do have the beach to themselves which is a nice perk.

Isn't him admitting defeat a win? Ugh. I don't care. What I do care about is that it's only Tuesday and Mother Gargle and Brutus are already fighting with each other. We still have four to five more days of this. Meanwhile, Gladys, Wilberforce, and us suffer.

Please don't fight. It's Turkey Jesus' birthday.

Teenage Dream

June 30, 1967

Wait. So Brutus and Gladys have gone on an African safari? That doesn't seem like a very Thornapple thing to do. Was this something a lot of married couples went on in the 1960s?

The average height of a rhinoceros is only about 6 feet. Even if Brutus is shorter than the average man, that is one huge rhino.

I don't know what Brutus was trying to do with this. Did he really think this was a good thing to say or did he not think it through?

Large cars? Are we talking about limousines because any car that would be a teenager's dream is small.

Learn-ed

July 3, 1973

While a part of me is hoping Brutus and Gladys are in a park so half the town can see Brutus on display, it's still funny even if they are in their own yard where just the neighbors can see Brutus stumbling around with a chair down his pants.

Is Wilberforce still in school? Maybe he's in summer school which makes sense considering all the mistakes he seems to make. Wilberforce is going to be the only kid in America who comes out of school dumber than when he went in.