More Like Crap-titude

The world was happy yesterday with the prospect of President Donald Trump possibly being dead. He hadn't been seen since Tuesday or Wednesday and had nothing on his schedule for this Labor Day weekend. He then apparently went golfing with his grandchildren, returned to rant and rave and conduct policy over social media, and woke up to go golfing again this morning.

If these are actually pictures of him from the last couple of days, he looks terrible. "Quit making jokes. Trump is alive and well!" Is he though? Sure he might be alive--the jury is kind of still out on that--but is he well? If not, that's fine, we the people just need to know. We spent four years speculating on Joe Biden's health so why not spend another four years speculating on Donald Trump's health? It's only fair.

Anyway, someday Donald Trump will die and the majority of people will be happy about it. And he has to sit with that. Sure, he may not care. He may get angry and decide to make policy based off his hatred of people wanting him to be dead. "Wishing someone dead should be as illegal as actually making someone dead!" I feel we should continue to act like President Trump is dead and as a first act of remembrance, the Epstein files should be released. Burn in Hell, you old bastard!

May 31, 1987

Is this a Christmas play (the strip came out in May after all) or is it a generic Sunday School-like play? It's nice to see Marcie and Lucy from Peanuts making a cameo in this Born Loser.

What was the rest of Hattie's line? Sure, she comes out saying "I bring you good tidings" but what's her next line? She actually has to give the tidings.

I can't get over the "I printed out this email from Wilberforce's school..." He printed out an email. He didn't just bring the laptop over or point it out on his phone. He printed out the email. Is he going to put that in Wilberforce's scrapbook with all his other achievements? I'm just kidding, of course. Wilberforce has no other achievements?

I will be the first to admit we need to do something about our educational system. It fails kids routinely and just pushes kids down the line whether or not they are ready. If Wilberforce isn't ready for third grade, then why is he in third grade? Because our system is set up to just pass him along. And no wonder he's not ready, he comes from a man who prints off emails.

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The Whole Week!!?

October 8, 1966

I guess pants are part of the suit... What kind of bet was this? On the bus?! Is Brutus allowed back on the bus? Is the other guy?

Is that a boot scraper attached to the step?

Why are you teaching about Mount Rushmore? First of all, colonizer bullshit. Second, saying there are four presidents on it will be moot in about two years when Trump has his ugly mug sandblasted into it, long thick red tie and all.

Hot Fudge Thursday

September 27, 1966 + "Care to give me a little hint?"

I am a huge proponent of the public education system, yet am very vocal about how it routinely lets our children down. I'd give you reasons, but I don't have time for that. And if you don't think it happens at your or your kid's school, then I got a bridge to sell you.

This teacher definitely drinks, right? She's probably kind of drunk now.

You don't want to go out for ice cream with your husband? And you said "Marvy"? I think that's two boxes on the divorce form.

Sometimes Why?!

August 30, 1966

Is this part two from yesterday? If you are going to sleep at your desk either keep your door shut or have a bed built underneath the desk.

So "Thornapple" is a regular character now, right? Should I start tagging him? I don't think he's technically Brutus yet though. Not yet, but a close facsimile.

"A?" He wasn't sure about "A"?! And I could go on all day about how stupid Wilberforce is, but what teacher does this? Teachers don't "assign" crap over the summer because they aren't going to do the work and you will never see these kids again. Also, vowels? Wilberforce is in second or third grade. He should already know his vowels.

Late Start

July 22, 1966

Well, the horses aren't worried at all. They are going to proudly, and angrily, run toward certain death.

Is this supposed to be General Custer? Good riddance, then.

Wilberforce isn't starting summer vacation until June 9th?! We started ours late because of our snow days, but we were still done before June. Barely.

You don't seem that sick since you are yelling from your room and down the stairs.

I Will Judge This Book By Its Cover, It's Beautiful

July 20, 1966

He clearly got some sort of space disease. He should be lucky his body didn't freeze, depressurize, and his heart explode from being in space and that suit clearly not being safe. I do hope this is more of a disease situation and not a chest-burster situation, because then both these men are dead.

Is Hurricane Hattie going to read the classic Caldecott Medal-winning children's tale about the passage the time and slight commentary on urban sprawl called "The Little House" by Virginia Lee Burton? That book may not be very long (about 40 pages) but you could write a dissertation on the themes and nuances in the illustrations.

Droned

June 20, 1966

How much would you tip this guy back in 1966? Fifty cents? Maybe giving him a cookie or two would be a better tip. I don't know.

Yes, yes, drone is only spelled one way. Wilberforce is an idiot. But whenever I did vocabulary we needed to know the definition, so which 'drone' is it?

Mathing

June 15, 1966

Did Thornapple not see that gigantic sign hanging up next the entrance? Maybe he always walks around with his eyes closed so he doesn't see advertisements. I also find it odd they don't have signs inside the store.

I don't know if anyone else in education has this issue, but it's kind of difficult to explain to students that when you add or multiply you can transpose the numbers (34+63=97, 63+34=97, 9x8=72, 8x9=72) but you can't do that with subtraction or division (12-4=8, 4-12=-8, 49÷7=7, 7÷49=0.14...) so Hattie is already ahead of those kids.

Whatever Happened to the Heber Institute

The only photograph of the Heber Institute

As early as 1856, a group of Episcopal churchmen settled in Prairie City, Kansas and established a congregation under Rev. Charles Reynolds. At the urging of Bishop Thomas Vail, a college was established and construction of a two-story stone structure had begun.

The building was constructed by George Miller and H.E. Dodge, but due to a lack of funds, the school was scrapped for the time being. The school building, which had one room on each floor, was used as a meeting house. One of the more famous uses was a visit from Horace Greeley who spoke in front of 400 people. The building was complete enough to open the Episcopal Church's State School for Boys, now named the Heber Institute. The Institute was named for Rev. Heber of New York. I could find no record of who Rev. Heber was. Despite a push to get some kind of upper-level school in Prairie City, it's close proximity to Baldwin City and Baker University doomed any endeavor.

Dr. Henry J. Caniff finally got a school in the Heber Institute building in 1858 and called it District 1, it being the first organized school district in Douglas County. The old Heber Institute was used as a school and community meeting place for numerous years until 1903. At some point between 1858 and 1871, the district number was changed to 78 and in 1903, it was decided to consolidate Prairie City Number 78 and Peach Grove Number 45 into Prairie City Number 87. With this, a new school was built with brand new furniture on land donated by Robert Miller, which burned down in 1919 and was replaced later that year. This building still stands at the corner of North 150 and East 1550 roads.

As for the Heber Institute building, it was sold to Timothy Keohane and Capt. Nathaniel Cradit who dismantled the building in 1905 to construct a story and livery on High Street. It later served as a Ford dealership, a recreation club, and barbershop. Today, the building is used as a fitness center and apartments.

South and southwest elevation view of Keohane & Cradit Building, 2023.
📷Megan Bruey and Stan Hernly

You Wanted to Know

My governor, Laura Kelly, sent a letter to Secretary Linda McMahon of the Department of Education asking for some funding back. Someone responded in the comments "We don't rely on money to teach kids." He then says a couple more things then goes "Pay teachers fair wages...". Ignoring the idiocy of saying we don't need money and then saying give teachers money, this person clearly doesn't understand how much money goes into schools.

It was left over money from Covid so I don't know what it would actually be going toward but Covid money was given to schools for health-related stuff (more nurses, supplies, upgrades to things), extra paraeducators, extra social workers, and to help pay for "learning loss" things like after school and summer school programs. He actually says later in a response that "the money isn't going to teachers", but it probably is because summer school and after school programs are not part of a teacher's salary. They get extra pay for that because that stuff tends to fall outside of their duty schedule.

Don't get me wrong, pay teachers, get rid of the bad ones (whatever that means) and just let teachers teach. But we all know that isn't going to happen.

Pay the teachers with what, Ryan?

PAY THEM WITH WHAT?!

May 14, 1966

I've mentioned before how I don't understand how everyone on an island doesn't just get swept into the ocean by a large wave and this island doesn't ease those concerns.

Did the hammock wash up on shore? Physics aside, what happens if he actually falls asleep?

But, seriously, though. Isn't this what restaurants do? They make up the specials from what's expiring or what they bought cheap recently? I mean, sometimes it's what they have too much of, but it can also be those other two things, right?

No Spoon, Radio

April 8, 1966

I research one-room schoolhouse and the early days of public schools and the stories I read about the mischief pulled on the teachers is always interesting. Usually it's not very violent though. And never have one of the student tried to blow up the teacher.

Can Brutus just not wash a spoon? Do the Thornapples just throw away all their dirty silverware?

Times They Are A-Changing...

March 7, 1966

BOI-OI-OI-OI-OING!!

AWHOOOOO-GAAA!!

HOMINA-HOMINA-HOMINA!!

NYUCK-NYUCK-NYUCK!!

♡❤💓💖💝💜🩵💘💕💞🎔♡❣🩷💛💗💖💞💙🩶

If you squeeze the hot dog from the middle, how does it squirt out like that? And why is he holding it like that anyway? He's holding it like a hamburger.

"No, all the books have been banned, because when you really look into them, every book has something someone doesn't like."

Libraries have had computers for decades. My school got a computer for the library in 1989, I think. You could play "Oregon Trail", "Number Munchers", or some word or typing game I can't remember or find online right now. You got 20 minutes every month with a second person to play.

Get the Heart Pumping

February 28, 1966

I'm all for painting NO on the wall, but on your wife? Brutus deserves whatever happens that gives him his headache.

Why is it such a big deal to go to this PTA meeting? Do both parents need to go? If she doesn't want to go without her husband, then maybe she just needs to quit.

I have never seen Brutus at the gym. Does Brutus think the diner he always goes to is a gym? He should go to the doctor and make sure his brain is okay.

And why is he covered in snow?!

Riddle, Riddle, Who's Got the Riddle?

February 12, 1966

Ha! Women! Can't play golf! Look at how she's holding the club. Perfect!

Everything I learned about golf is, interestingly, from comic strips. It's so weird how cartoonists all golf. But I also learned about golf from "The Golf Game" episode of I Love Lucy. Check it out and either impress or piss off your friends with your new golfing style.

Can't those guys just ask to play through?

Come on, Wilberforce. You didn't even try to guess the riddle!

I'm on day five of snow day which extended our winter break. No one--staff and students--is going to know how to do anything when we go back.

You know what doesn't help Wilberforce get to his bus on time? Distracting him with stupid riddles.

Leggo My Ego

What the hell kind of homework is this?

I don't see Brutus acting like this with anyone else. I don't think Brutus is an egotist or narcissist or whatever self-absorbed douche you think he is. I think he's just an average man and dad trying to impress his son. It's all really quite sad when you think about it.

ASSignment

"Let's drink it all before Wilberforce gets home from school!"

I would drink tea and lemonade everyday if I could. I don't drink enough lemonade, honestly. I should get some lemonade after work tomorrow. We have a food truck that sells lemonade and kettle corn. Park it next to the food truck that sells barbecue and the food truck that sells mini donuts and I'd have everything I need.

"Does your dad need to go to the hospital?"

We're just gonna jump into Wilberforce being back in school? And he has an assignment already? And an involved one where he basically has write down everything his parents say? It's not even a "What I did over summer" report.

When I did this kind of report, I did it in comic strip form.

All Good Things Must Come To an End

December 21, 1965

This guy should really invest in a paperweight. Or maybe do a better at putting his papers where they belong when he is done with them.

I don't know why Wilberforce is crying about summer being over when he has so many other things to cry about. I've known this kid for 16 years and his life certainly makes me want to cry.

Shut Your Hole, Woman

December 17, 1965

Good! That carpet was due for a good painting.

What's wrong with Brucie's face? Is that a young Elon Musk? Clearly this tiny man has kidnapped and killed Brucie and has taken over his life.

July 26, 2024

The number of alarms refers to the number of peppers in the chili, which I didn't know. I knew it was in relation to how spicy the chili but I didn't know how they came up with the number.

The chili I make would definitely be considered a no-alarm chili because I don't put peppers in mine. You'd hate my chili and I can feel your judging eyes on me.

Cool. I get to talk about work and school during my last week of summer vacation. I would rather be bored than go back to work. Although I do like the money. You can give me some by going into the About section and sending me a tip.

It's also kind of hot and possibly storming in and around Cleveland today so that may be part of his boredom.

Strawberry or Cherry?

December 4, 1965

I understand that using K-W-I-T for quit is supposed to show us that Lunk here isn't the brightest bulb in the pack, but the dropout rate was around 15% and it was much easier to get a decent paying job without a high school diploma back in 1965. I know someone like the comic strip elite like Art Sansom wouldn't understand, but sometimes school just isn't for some people.

Gladys makes Brutus breakfast every morning. It's nothing special, Arnie.

So Brutus is eating a cold toaster pastry and drinking cold coffee...from a Styrofoam cup?

Why don't Brutus and Arnie carpool?

I've Never Seen You Leave Ohio

Pinkie Prim was a young girl cat clearly created to get little girls to read the comics in the newspaper. The strip was created by Dick Wood and ran from 1906 to early 1911. The strip was distributed by World Color Printing. World Color was founded in St. Louis in 1903 and was an early supporter of Krazy Kat creator George Herriman. World Color would then enter the comic book business in the 1930s, something that would continue for 50 more years including printing Marvel and DC comics. World Color is currently headquartered in Quebec.

May 11, 1986

This sounds annoying. My car screams at me too much. It yells at me when the car starts, when there's low fuel, when people aren't buckled in, when a tire is low, when someone is in my blind spot and my blinker is on, when I'm approaching the rear end of a car too fast, when there's ice over the front camera. The other day it yelled at me with something new: My key fob battery was low. At least these are just a series of dings and not some voice talking to me.

Oh, Wilberforce is in summer school? That sucks.

If a hurricane is a tropical cyclone over 75mph, then a tropical depression is a tropical cyclone under that speed. Is there a carbon monoxide leak in this house? Why has everyone been so stupid lately?

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