I Hate Wilberforce's Shirt, Too

September 22, 1966

If you are this scared of walking down alleys then maybe you shouldn't be walking down alleys. I also find it odd that there's a Plum Street in an area where you have dangerous alleys, but I'm sure there's one somewhere.

You just have loose M&Ms in your pocket? Ugh, children are disgusting. Why do we keep having them?

What are they sitting on? Some kind of wooden dock?

Hanging Off the Back of the Chair Probably Isn't Helping You Stay Cool

April 26, 1987

Bo Derek does not consent! I've never had a dream (or nightmare) that made me not want to go to sleep. They may be scary or unsettling or just plain cruel, but I enjoy sleep too much. Just like in real life, you are not entitled to dream women.

Why is it so hot in the house? I don't care if it feels like a 115 outside, it should be vastly cooler indoors even with just the shade and lack of air flow. I thought Gladys was not going to give a shit this year.

Hottest day of the year...so far. We still got August to get through.

🠄 What started as just wanting to know more about this elephant debacle turned into researching the elephant. While I never found out what happened with Myrtle and Singh after their stop in Topeka, I think it's interesting nonetheless.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can check out the support page at the top. You can also contact your Congresspeople and urge them to do something about releasing the Epstein files (because Trump clearly doesn't want that information out) and ending starvation in Gaza.

One Last Hair

September 10, 1966

Just wipe the mustard off with a napkin. It doesn't require becoming a thorn in the hot dog stand guy's side. Also, you'd get less wet--although I guess you would've had to get out in the rain to order and get the hot dogs.

There is someone in the backseat of the car, right?

"It's okay, Dad, you just talk to your hair. We don't mind."

I've often wondered if I would just shave my head or just go bald naturally whenever I start to lose my hair. I guess it depends on how I look. I mean, Brutus doesn't look silly with his bald head. Maybe it's because he doesn't have a forehead. The bridge of his nose just becomes his skull. My head doesn't do that.

Don't forget to follow me on social media which is linking above in the About page. You can see some photos from my tour this weekend of our local abandoned Security Benefit Clock Tower which has sat abandoned since 2004.

🠄This 'Help' was scrawled on the wall of the Security Benefit building in some sort of once-viscous brownish liquid that I hope was once ketchup and not, you know, poop.

Cool Breeze

April 19, 1987

This is how I always feel when I have to comment on a golf comic. I can only say so much about it. The ball is only half a foot from the hole! Just wake up and tap it in!!

Yeah, and? Turn off the furnace and let me enjoy my chilly house and glass of ice tea on this hot summer day.

"You've got the air conditioning running full blast! I can't make my brown-tinted AI slop when the house is this cold!"

If you haven't seen the new Superman movie, please do so. You won't regret it. I want to go see it again. In the meantime, Superman and Batman are on the trail of a vampire in this review of Action Comics Annual #1 from 1987. If you would like to support me or this website, you can click Support at the top of the page.

Ms. Yuck

September 8, 1966

I love these rain showers. Oh, cool. You're going to rain just enough to get me wet, get my car dirty, and make it feel like we're in an oven afterwards. Cool. Cool cool cool.

Has Hurricane Hattie tasted an oyster? Usually kids just hate something because it looks gross and looks like it would taste gross. I'm impressed Hattie has at least tried oysters. Maybe you should tell Hattie and Wilberforce to start looking for pearls.

Stay Hydrated💦

August 20, 1966

I think Thornapple has enough self-confidence since he's currently hiding out angrily under his desk to get away from you.

Where'd he put his chair?

We're getting a lot of watercooler love the last few days. I feel it's some sort of colossal joke at me, but I know I'm far to unimportant to warrant that kind of attention.

And of course Brutus is going to spend a lot of time at the watercooler. It is his memorial watercooler after all.

The Brutus P. Thornapple Memorial Watercooler

March 29, 1987

Why is Brutus wearing a top hat? I've never seen him in a top hat before and I don't think I've seen him in one since. I guess Brutus is trying something different. Something he will probably stop doing because it caused him to fall into the sewer.

Who are those kids? Why are we just creating random children when Wilberforce and Hurricane Hattie are already established characters?

Didn't you hear him? Weren't you listening? Veeblefester specifically said the naming rights would be paid for. My reaction wouldn't be "Golly, Chief!" but "How much is this stupid idea going to cost us? Me, specifically?"

Naming the watercooler for Brutus does make sense since that's where Brutus spends most of his day.

You Hit One More Person It's Technically a Spree

A neighboring county's sheriff's office posted back in March that a horse was found dead. Believing the horse to have been shot, the sheriff went well out of their way to find out who did it. Getting the Kansas Bureau of Investigation, K9 units, detectives from other agencies, and even veterinarians from Kansas State University in on the investigation, the sheriff ginned up anger from all across the United States and got about $10,000 donated as a reward to catch the perpetrator. Whoever killed this horse was clearly going to have a public hanging.

Then, about a week ago, they posted that the cause of death was discovered. Traumatic brain injury. They caused all this anger and finger pointing for absolutely no reason. Going through the comments on the post, most of them are going "Heh. Yeah, that's a horse for you. Always hurting themselves." Then why wasn't that the go-to explanation until you discovered more? When someone actually did call them out on it, the person was attacked with "They were doing their job" and "Everyone matters or no one matters". But they didn't do their job. They claimed it was murder, got other people to do the work, and couldn't find or do anything until they actually knew what happened. And let's be honest, they did more for this horse than most cops do for a missing or dead person, because they thought it was going to be easy. They even admitted in their posts that criminals that do this tend to talk about it so keep your ears open for people talking about it. The social media for this sheriff's office is run almost like a meme account. It is clearly run to generate views and interactions, so I guess mission accomplished. And all it took was turning neighbors against each other.

Yesterday, my story For Ashlea posted. It's the first thing I've written that I've posted since 2022. It took a lot of convincing myself in order to get it scheduled. Please check it out, and I hope you like it.

February 8, 1987

I guess that's not Brutus' hat? How many hats has Brutus lost now? At least four, I think. Maybe he should stop wearing them. It's the 80s, most guys don't wear them anymore.

I'll be honest. I initially checked out on the word 'oopsie'. I had to go back and read this again. Were they able to get the Thornapple family truckster off the other car or did Gladys get a ride, from I assume a police officer, and the car is still on top of the other?

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Phone Bemoan

from Heathcliffcomix Instagram

The boys all just came from running over Garfield. What's Scratchy doing here? He's not a comic strip character.

January 11, 1987

I guess building a snowman is a young man's game? I don't know. I've never built or helped build a snowman in my life.

Why is Brutus sitting on the giant snowball?

He should memorize a number or two. Businesses still tend to have landlines. You can also ask someone to borrow their phone. "Can I borrow your phone?" "Yeah, sure." "Damn it!" "What's wrong?" "None of my numbers are in your contacts!"

Brutus needs to be honest with himself that even with phone numbers memorized, Wilberforce would be useless in an emergency.

In case you missed it, I believe I have found myself a new nemesis in The Brain. Although I don't think I'll go to this well as much as I do with Capt. Kid. If you would like to support me or this website, you can throw some money at my Support page.

Tuesday Night Quickies

May 21, 1966

Women. Can't drive. Can't take a joke. Can't golf. These kind of strips aren't going to get old at all.

It's a Tuesday. He was probably outside during school and going to and from school. Leave him alone.

C60kout

It's Superman Day! Superman represents the best of us. He is someone many of us need to imitate at this moment of time. He shows love and empathy for all the people of Earth. We should all do that.

"Not a single one of us is background noise. When one of us disappears someone should notice. Every person is a star. A life. A heart. And when a voice is silenced by darkness another must rise to see that justice is done."

-from Action Comics #792

May 18, 1966

This is how Angelo Grotti entered the insurance business.

This man has a five-fingered approach to selling: 🤜💥

Gladys looks unsure. Probably because even though Brutus is doing the cooking, she'll probably still be stuck with making a homemade potato salad or something. I guess she better grab her chef's hat and Brutus' cookout apron that reads "Hi, Hungry! I'm Dad!" on it with spatulas for exclamation points.

Monday Quickies

May 2, 1966

Oh, and Thornapple looks so confident and ready to prove himself in that third panel. His rumpled suit looks how I feel.

March has sucked. February sucked. 2025 has sucked. I can't wait until this suck year is over. That is, if we don't die.

Late Night Car Wash

April 21, 1966

Oliver?!

What kind of meeting is this? Some sort of Darwin Society? Are those even a thing? I thought they were, but according to search results they are just something I made up.

Anyway, thanks Bill Copeland of Sarasota, Florida.

I washed the car a couple weeks ago and it rained, which whatever. I don't care. But then, like, two days later it rained again. It rained mud because of all the ash from wildfires. So, now my car needs to get washed again.

Forward Ho!

April 11, 1966

"This is our land now! Make it stop raining!"

Not on board with the bit of racism or colonialism, but I do like BIPOC aggravating the white man.

I don't understand how this would help you get out of work. "Oh, I set my clock the wrong way so I'm late." Ok, well we are still docking your pay and taking two hours of your sick/personal time. Companies aren't even sympathetic to you being late during weather events, they certainly aren't going to be sympathetic to your dumbassery.

Man's Luxurious Hubris

March 12, 1966

Thing is, she couldn't do that again if she tried.

I don't see how the ball could hit that tree and then practically go straight up, but what do I know? I don't really know physics.

Dolores and Gladys. I'm not gonna judge that team until I see a spec script. Do we have to keep the beret though?

I'm pretty sure if you installed a heated steering wheel on your 2014 whatever you have, the car would explode.

Using "January First" Instead of "January 1st" Almost Broke Me

September 21, 1986

Well, to be fair, it's 1986 and smut and drivel are the only things on TV. I don't have the heart to tell Mother Gargle what's going to be premiering in 6 months, but the Thornapples probably don't get FOX yet anyway.

If you just casually glance at today's comic, it kind of looks like Brutus and Arnie are holding hands and I think that's neat.

Would hot chocolate really hurt his diet that much?

And why did Brutus and Arnie switch places in between the last panels?

We took a look at Action Comics #579 by Jean-Marc and Randy Lofficer, Keith Giffen, and Bob Oskner and definitely not guest-starring characters from Asterix. If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Never Steal Anything Wet

February 26, 1966

How "stolen" is this car? If the police know it's missing then that could be a problem, but if no one knows then a stolen police car could be an asset. People won't look twice at it, it won't be pulled over, and you can play with the lights and siren.

I'm glad to see our mobsters back. I mean, I don't think it's exactly the same mobsters, but it's nearly a month later. Mobsters die all the time.

Is Beach Blanket Bingo a boring movie? I mean, it's a stupid teenager beach party film but isn't it one of the better ones that most people know? I've never seen it, but I have seen Catalina Caper and that isn't boring at all.

Does Veeblefester Do This With Every Employee?

February 10, 1966

Classic born loser. This would be the strip I'd choose as a header photo if I wanted to showcase the quintessential Born Loser comic.

I like how everyone is standing cautiously away from him and are probably hoping the rain doesn't follow him onto the bus.

My salary could at least follow the increases in cost-of-living and inflation. I'm not saying Brutus deserves the Moon because he's clearly just an average employee, but he does deserves the bare minimum in salary. As we all do.

🎵I'm Free from Your Spell🎶Oh, Free, Free, Free Now, Baby🎵

February 7, 1966

I appreciate this kid's entrepreneurship. Most people I know drink iced coffee in the winter so cold lemonade in the winter is nothing surprising. We drink lots of cold stuff in the winter. I don't know why that one girl is acting so snooty, but we'll show her. We'll show her *slowly shakes fists*

I looked up that "fickle, fickle" thing at the beginning. I found nothing. I guess Art came up with it himself.

Mother Gargle sucks. I know it. Brutus knows it. You even know it! Let her stay in Erie where she belongs.

Watch we'll see Mother Gargle again within the next two weeks. You are never truly free from Mother Gargle.

Monday Quickies

December 27, 1965

This is a beach priest. He has no power over you.

Cool. Now things in Brutus' house are trying to kill him.