You Hit One More Person It's Technically a Spree

A neighboring county's sheriff's office posted back in March that a horse was found dead. Believing the horse to have been shot, the sheriff went well out of their way to find out who did it. Getting the Kansas Bureau of Investigation, K9 units, detectives from other agencies, and even veterinarians from Kansas State University in on the investigation, the sheriff ginned up anger from all across the United States and got about $10,000 donated as a reward to catch the perpetrator. Whoever killed this horse was clearly going to have a public hanging.

Then, about a week ago, they posted that the cause of death was discovered. Traumatic brain injury. They caused all this anger and finger pointing for absolutely no reason. Going through the comments on the post, most of them are going "Heh. Yeah, that's a horse for you. Always hurting themselves." Then why wasn't that the go-to explanation until you discovered more? When someone actually did call them out on it, the person was attacked with "They were doing their job" and "Everyone matters or no one matters". But they didn't do their job. They claimed it was murder, got other people to do the work, and couldn't find or do anything until they actually knew what happened. And let's be honest, they did more for this horse than most cops do for a missing or dead person, because they thought it was going to be easy. They even admitted in their posts that criminals that do this tend to talk about it so keep your ears open for people talking about it. The social media for this sheriff's office is run almost like a meme account. It is clearly run to generate views and interactions, so I guess mission accomplished. And all it took was turning neighbors against each other.

Yesterday, my story For Ashlea posted. It's the first thing I've written that I've posted since 2022. It took a lot of convincing myself in order to get it scheduled. Please check it out, and I hope you like it.

February 8, 1987

I guess that's not Brutus' hat? How many hats has Brutus lost now? At least four, I think. Maybe he should stop wearing them. It's the 80s, most guys don't wear them anymore.

I'll be honest. I initially checked out on the word 'oopsie'. I had to go back and read this again. Were they able to get the Thornapple family truckster off the other car or did Gladys get a ride, from I assume a police officer, and the car is still on top of the other?

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Couldn't They Just Write the Special On a Board?

June 13, 1966

Car horn don't typically "die". They do rely on an electrical current to work so I guess a horn that won't stop blaring could eventually drain the battery. I've never had a horn malfunction so can a horn keep blaring if the car is turned off? I guess so, because you can still honk the horn if the car is off. I'm thinking about this and perusing this Boss Horn website too much. Women drivers, amirite?

Hope you like oysters in brown gravy, Brutus!

That was the most disgusting thing I could think of that this diner might have. I spent too much time learning about how car horns work.

You Can Put Maple Syrup On Whatever You Want

May 17, 1966

One thing I love about these old strips from the 1960s are all the "women amirite?" scenarios we will definitely see. This is the second women driving strip in just a year. At least this lady's head didn't go through the steering wheel. Not that it could...

Better make it quick. It's 7:00 and Wilberforce has to be at school at 8:35.

Is Brutus already gone? Brutus doesn't get French toast/pancakes/waffles? I guess this is to make up for all the times Wilberforce misses dinner.

Tuesday Quickies

November 30, 1965

Who's Princie? Another kid? A dog? It's not like you are moving at a high rate of speed, just open the door and lean out.

Gladys couldn't just leave the mail in the box outside their house? Maybe it needs a stamp.

Brutus is in the doghouse and he didn't even do anything. Even whatever is in his mug is scared.

Kids These Days

November 13, 1965

Her head went through the steering wheel. I guess she's fine. I'm assuming the wreck happened right outside and involves a neighbor, which won't make going outside and doing yard work awkward at all.

Make it not 98 degrees by noon? That'd be the first thing I try.

Every summer I see people complaining about kids not playing outside. Kids play outside where I am. There's a group of kids playing outside as I'm writing this. I don't know what's wrong with your neighborhood where kids don't want to play. Those of you complaining about kids not playing outside, do you oppose every new park initiative and want everything kids could do to make money for the city? Do you call the police whenever you see more than three kids in a park? Maybe that's the problem.

The Monday Blerghs

October 1, 1976

When you really think about it, giant billboards advertising things seems like a very dangerous distraction. When you think about it further, having a radio seems like a distraction as well. I guess the way it works is that you can either read something or listen to something but you can't do both at the same time. That causes accidents.

He just threw up in his mouth a little.

Brutus looks more hungover than tired. Can he even remember Sunday?

What Do You Know Sunday?

Just let him read the damn book. I reread books all the time. I do it because I like them and I notice something new every time I reread.

Huh. I always pictured Uncle Ted living in a retirement community or senior living facility. Apparently, he still has his own house and is looking forward to watching his family have to sift and sort through his garbage from the afterlife.

Actually, looking at you, I would've guessed immediately that you played football in school.

I'm glad to see Hattie harassing Brutus. It's been awhile. We haven't seen her in a new strip since July 5, and she hasn't bullied Brutus since February.

"I know I said 'I love cheese' which to you probably means 'Give me a lot of cheese', but to me it means 'Give me all the cheese you have.'"

You just keep working that grater, cheese monkey. You'll probably want to grab another block as well. I just going to sit here and smile.

This is not a great way to handle potential sales calls. You should be having a secretary or receptionist transfer calls the sales staff, not have whoever gets to phone first gets the sale.

Has Uncle Ted seriously never heard about E-ZPass, TollTag, PIKE Pass, whatever your state calls it? Did he seriously think Brutus just zoomed through the toll and began thinking about turning in his nephew and if there would be a reward? Did he not see the massive signs along the toll road that explains how to stop paying at the toll booths?

I guess we're even. Uncle Ted doesn't know about cashless tolls and Brutus doesn't know what an MRI is. Maybe that's why Uncle Ted had an MRI done.

Can we get to eating and drinking now, or are those sandwiches and lemonade just for decoration?

Daily posts will return tomorrow since the start of the school year has settled down. If you would like to support my writing, research, or website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Where Are They Going?

At least it was when I was writing this. Not paying your bills, trying to change something and breaking it, purposely throttling usage, poor little rich boy needed attention, whatever the reason, that's bad business coming from a so-called business genius. I'm sure Twitter will be back to its somewhat functional self at some point, but until then and after you call find me here and at one of the many other social network sites. Everything is linked in my LinkTree.

November 4, 1985

That seems like a decent vacation. That's a lot of places. And it probably only cost, like, $100. I don't know what vacations cost--either back in 1985 or today because I never go on vacation.

He started in Ciudad? Which ciudad? Ciudad means 'city'. It's not an actual place name. Maybe if chubby Henry Mitchell would shut up, someone would tell him.

How could Brutus never hear of Galileo?! Even if you don't really know who he is or what he's known for, you've heard his name. Maybe Brutus is just being purposely obtuse so Veeblefester won't talk to him.

Veeblefester is so rich that he can have a car custom made for himself. Or Rancid W. Veeblefester is a legacy name handed down to Veeblefester men for generations and one of those men started a car company and let's just say that's very possible the RWV Motor Company has a shady past.

It's summer, so I don't have a job! If you would like to support me or my website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Saturday Quickie

August 7, 1974

Ironically, Brutus has been pretending to be a cop, sneaking up on people, and pulling them over. I wouldn't doubt it. It's 1974-Brutus. That guy is a wildcard!

Kids hate everything, amiright?! Wilberforce gets to eat today. I'm so happy.🥲

I have a tuna casserole recipe that's pretty good. Tuna, broccoli, noodles. It's pretty good and kid friendly.

35, 55...It All Looks the Same Without My Glasses

January 25, 1974

"Who is Rancid W. Veeblefester and why do they have such a stupid name?" the old flower woman wonders aloud before going back to selling her dead merchandise.

Have you ever driven through a town where they have a speed trap? The ones that I normally see are where there is a sign that reads "Speed limit 55 unless posted" right in front or behind a sign that reads "Speed limit 35" or vice versa. Yeah, I love being confused when I'm driving. That's good for everyone involved.

That cop seems awful close to Brutus' car. And this town must not have much going on if the policeman has time to pull over Brutus.

Ba-Da-Ba-Ba-Ba I'm Hating It

March 17, 1985

Ugh. This is a terrible way to begin your school day. I feel like I would do the same thing if I had to sing this every morning while my teacher conducts us. Is this really an important part of the school day?

Why don't you get out of the way?! You just sit in the drive-thru snacking on your fries while people are behind you, waiting? This is far more aggravating than singing a good morning song everyday at school.

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Don't Blame the Car for Your Ignorance

November 29, 1973

Those are all Santa's helpers, dear.

Or being Santa Claus is just one big scam.

Did he test drive the car just to see how good it parks? Seems like a waste of that salesman's time. And he had the car long enough to get a ticket? And you didn't notice it was in a no parking zone? Seems to me that you got yourself that ticket and it's not the car's fault at all.

Also, the car doesn't find the parking spot, right? You drive it to the spot and the car parks itself. Well, I guess as long as no one died.

Veeblefester Really Cut Down That Server

October 19, 1973

There are just some things I really like about cartooning and comic strips when you can see the artist putting themselves out there for readers. Charles Schulz's shaky lines in Peanuts will always be my favorite. I like it when people can't draw hands or feet--it's a fun quirk. Another thing I like is bad perspectives with vehicles.

That officer is a car and a half tall! How can a big woman like Gladys fit into a car that small? Who cares? It's a comic strip. Onto the comic for October 20th.

I like that when Chip really wants to be mean to whoever is working at the diner, he uses Veeblefester instead of Brutus. Brutus would never be that much of an asshole to a fellow worker bee. Veeblefester would, but, again, Veeblefester would never eat at a diner.

Winter Break Quickie

September 12, 1973

Where'd Brutus get that car? Brutus can't afford that. Instead of wondering if he should spank Brutus(?!), that patrolman should be checking the plates and VIN to see if it's stolen.

"Being old is great! Ha ha ha! Ha ha *breaks down crying*"

Secret Squirrel

December 15, 1984

This is your reminder to generously tip your wait staff.

Of course you didn't see a squirrel with you gawking at your ice cream cone in every other panel. Just take the cone off your nose and get back to eating it--it's fine! You should be glad he just stopped suddenly to not hit a squirrel and didn't just drive into a brick wall to end the suffering he calls life.

I guess Wilberforce doesn't get to go on a Sunday drive and get ice cream either.

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Officer's a Little Close Isn't He?

For some reason yesterday, pictures wouldn't upload onto here. I don't know what the problem was as I tried about every 30 minutes for about four hours and it would never upload. Whatever. I just posted my commentary on my Twitter. Sadly, you will also get commentary on it today.

Meanwhile, June is just off-panel crying because May, July, and August get love from these two.

I'm hoping Wilberforce falls into an open storm drain after making that May-niac comment. Or that Hattie pushed him into oncoming traffic.

I'd order her out of her car, stick a breathalyzer in her mouth, and then make her answer a bunch of questions about driving before hauling her in for reckless driving. Maybe hundreds of dollars in fines and up to a year in jail will keep Gladys from being stupid.

The Fast Lane

You know, I don't think any transportation department around here uses barrels anymore. Just cones. Maybe I'm wrong and I just haven't been paying attention...while driving through construction zones...

Seriously, Brutus? You think you qualify for "living in the fast lane"? You? Really?

How Many People See Your Driver's License Photo, I Mean Really?

My driver's license is also about to expire. I'm not sitting forlornly at the kitchen table about it though. I've never had a DL photo I didn't like. It's just a photo used for identification, it's not your senior picture. You just stand there and smile or don't smile. I tend to try some kind of Mona Lisa thing. "What's he hiding beneath that smile?" the police officer will think as he writes me my ticket.

Driving Miss License, Part 2

For years I had my weight at 150, it was only recently that I bumped my weight up to 220. That's not my actual weight but who cares? If the state doesn't seem to care, why should anyone else?

Driving Miss License

I see people complain all the time about their drivers license picture and I don't get the big deal. People make the DMV people seem like sadists. "Don't wear your glasses." "Do wear your glasses." "Stand taller." "Turn your head slightly." "Make your face better." I think I've only ever had one say "Don't smile" which I don't do because it's a drivers license photo, not something that's going in a magazine or the yearbook. Oddly enough, the picture my family used for the funeral home pamphlets after my Grandma died came from her drivers license.