King of Over the Hill

September 7, 1966

SHOOT 'EM!! Who cares if they are in the shape of heart and spelling MOM, you could probably down two or three of them since they are all clustered together like this!

Uncle Ted, you've been over the hill for years now. Hell, Brutus is over the hill now, too.

I'm more concerned that usually polite baristas are going around calling people of certain ages "old-timer". "Medium hot mocha with cinnamon for the old-timer!" "Large wrinkled middle finger for the whippersnapper, you dick."

Suddenly I See...

August 31, 1966

Everything about Agnes here is great. From the tattoo to leaning on the broom and that cigar dangling between her fingers *chef's kiss*.

*gets new glasses* "Wow! I've never seen so well in my life! *looks in mirror* Oh, god. I'm hideous... *sobs*"

Being rejuvenated is more of a feeling that you don't need good vision for, but whatever Uncle Ted.

Friday Quickies

August 12, 1966

I think Brutus is going to go bowling anyway.

The best thing about the good old days? When he had rules and law in relation to the government.

Dizzy Up the Brutus

August 8, 1966

Why would you hang your nice clean clothes directly over mud? water? oil? Just get those shorts pinned and try to get that string tied back together.

This is why clotheslines are typically made of wire.

Cool. Another symptom of old age we can gladly talk to Wilberforce about.

Has Brutus started any new medications? Maybe Gladys is slowly poisoning him. Does that coffee taste different, Brutus?

Wilberforce Is Really Curious About Old People

August 6, 1966

What does Veeblefetzer do here? He's clearly not the president/CEO/owner like today's Veeblefester, but he has clearly worked his way up the ladder over the last 35 years and he is appreciated by the rest of the office three dying flowers worth. Are those from the parking lot...?

I love Miss Henlayer's hair. Pure. Sixties.

This is a Family Circus joke. I even did a search trying to find a Family Circus that says it. I couldn't find one, but maybe it was in a Sunday strip which are harder to search. Anyway, I'm not saying Wilberforce is better than this, but Chip Sansom should be.

You don't have to be old to wear glasses, Uncle Ted.

Is This a "How I Met Your Aunt" Situation?

May 19, 1966

Say it with me: "Women, amirite?" This reminds me of a joke I read in one of those men's magazines. "Before their wedding, a bride gave the groom an amazing blowjob. Talking to his best man, the groom goes 'I just got the best blowjob of my life!' Talking to her bridesmaid, the bride goes 'I just gave the last blowjob of my life!'" Marriage, amirite?

I feel a lot of people didn't know it was Husband Appreciation Day yesterday. I didn't see anything about it except for this comic and a MeTV post about who's your favorite classic TV husband. Gladys isn't on board.

January 4, 1987

I like the guy calling Brutus "Madam". I had a guy do one of these for me one time. I'm not buying your stupid vacuum though. The one I have works fine and didn't cost $2,200. Thanks for getting up that stain though. I feel there's a clause that you don't get the vacuum if there's no power, but maybe not. I'd be more concerned about Brutus forgetting to pay the electric bill.

What is Brutus wearing?

This is a dark Born Loser as Uncle Ted admits he really only tells stories so when his brain has been eaten away by old age, his grandchild can remind him of all his good times. Time marches on and Death comes for all.

Is this what we're losing with the new GoComics?  The throwaway panels are missing. I know they don't need to be seen, hence the name 'throwaway', but I'd expect the company who owns/distributes the comic to be able to show the entire comic. This isn't the shrinking newspaper comics page.

Saturday's post was about the Grote Twins. If you would like to support me or this website, you can leave some money in one of my tip jars.

More Like Crappy Meal

February 8, 1966

I don't think we talk enough about how we shoved Native Americans off their land in the eastern United States. Many of the Midwest tribes we talk about were originally east coast tribes. I know we've all heard to joke that the Lenape sold Manhattan Island to the Dutch for $24, but really they sold it for around $1,150. Still not a great deal for the Lenape.

One thing I like is the mean, sneaky-pete looks on the white colonizer's faces. What I don't like is that is implies the sale only happened because a woman said to take it. This is some Adam & Eve Biblical bullshit.

I should look more at kid meals when I just want a little snack. I know a lot of old people who just order kid meals. These old people are definitely onto something.

Although I disagree with the toy. They suck now. Cardboard pieces of crap most of the time.

Autumn of His Life

If I had to guess, I would say Wilberforce's biggest fear is getting old. He talks a lot about getting old with both Uncle Ted and Brutus and while he tends to be kind of a jerk about it, I feel Wilberforce's attitude masks his fear.

Thursday Quickies

December 16, 1965

Hey! More death in this comic strip!

Skipper and Smee? We're mixing pop culture references now.

July 25, 2024

Hmm. Someone watched that Christmas episode of The Office where Dwight is selling Princess Unicorn dolls, the hottest toys of the season, and says "Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-ka-ching!"

Maybe don't watch the Olympics tonight, Brutus. They're clearly depressing you.

(440)555-1213 Is a Made-Up Number Anyway

December 1, 1965

I apologize that this week has been kind of hit-and-miss with posts. I didn't plan it, it just kind of happened. Anyway, what do we have here? The filing department is turning important into paper airplanes? That can't be good. Hope this business doesn't get audited or something? What's the 1965 equivalent of Enron?

That does seem kind of rude. But I guess it all depends on how you take it and how you perceive yourself. I do hope that Uncle Ted used some of the moves he learned in the military on that clerk. What war was he in? World War I? II? Korea? Vietnam? The timeline's fuzzy.

Eh. Why are you still paying for a landline anyway? You should be glad it's been disconnected.

Why is the ear piece green and the mouth piece red? Is it just to add some color?

Wrinkle In Time

November 24, 1965

Ooh, more Quincy Madison! I think he appears once or twice more in 1965. I like him. I think it's interesting that Quincy will walk through atomic fallout for his Emilie, but getting married is a bridge too far.

I wonder if we were anywhere close to getting The Born Loser starring Brutus Thornapple Quincy Madison?

Part two?! This isn't a joke or even remotely funny. This is just an explanation. I do have to hand it to Brutus for not using this opportunity to mock Mother Gargle.

Ageism In the Comics

November 23, 1965

What I don't like about this comic is that he has two hats. I get that it's cold and god forbid a businessman be seen without a hat on, but this annoys me.

I'm glad his plan didn't work.

Wilberforce really hates old people. I would agree that it's just a kid being a kid, but he seems really vindictive and not just curious. "How does it feel being old?" "How's those wrinkles treating you?" "Surprised you woke up this morning!"

Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope

November 19, 1965

I don't usually compliment this comic strip because it's usually so meh, but I do want to give credit where credit is due. I love the phrasing of this strip. "Me? Paint myself into a corner?", the scoffing noise, the seemingly sinister implications of "escape hatch" which is just the door leading out of the room. The dastardly set-up (for some reason) makes the joke of the strip even better. Take it down a few notches, Brutus. You remembered not to paint yourself into a corner. Congrats, you did the bare minimum.

I'm just imaging Brutus, who shouldn't want to talk to Mother Gargle in the first place, walking by and going "Hey, Mother Gargle. Not dead yet?" and getting more frustrated and louder each time he repeats it because she can't hear him.

Wilberforce, put your own damn clothes away. And scrub out your own skidmarks.

This is a weird question to ask in your own house. You hear someone talking then it is obviously one of the three people who live in your house. She should also be able to recognize her own husband's voice. Unless Brutus uses different voices when he talks to himself. If so, that's some very impressive insanity.

Ever since I left Twitter, I've been on all the other social networking sites, but none of them have come close to what I had on Twitter. I want to be able to step away but I have a website to think about. I guess I could just stop updating my website...

Hey, whatever gets you to show up.

I bet they didn't even catch a tire or a boot. That's how loser-y these two are. They are also so loser-y that maybe they caught malaria, West Nile, or Zika from those mosquitoes.

The Baldness or Weight Gain Wasn't the First Sign?

September 25, 1965

*Sigh* Yet another woman chose the bear.

For those who don't know, the Internet is aflame over the fact that more women would rather be lost in the woods with a bear than with a man. Men are, of course, upset at this.

Glad this guy is in a hospital, it looks like he smashed his head pretty good on the floor.

You're just now getting the first sign that you're old?! My knees have been popping when standing up since I was 30. If I sleep just slightly off, my body alights in fiery pain. My son graduated high school 4 years ago. A student at school estimated my age as "55, 58?"!!

Young Vs. Old

Felix the Cat, June 4, 1933

Most of the early Felix comic strips deal with Felix wanting to be adopted. Everyone is always so mean to him. I'd adopt him.

It was from old comic strips that I learned where the phrase ix-nay came from. "Nix" is a mostly obsolete way of saying "No". Most likely due to The Three Stooges shorts, "ixnay" and "amscray" (scram) entered into the American lexicon, becoming the only Pig Latin words to become mainstream.

Those kids are worried about a goat but are perfectly fine with a cat the size of a small child being able to talk and ride a bike?

Speaking of Felix the Cat: The Felix the Cat Nintendo game is available on the Nintendo Switch now! Help Felix save Miss Kitty from the Professor. This port retains it's playability, it's cuteness and originality, and great music. If you've never played it, I highly recommend it.

September 14, 1965

Is this something kids did back then? Draw circles on the ground and goad other kids into fights? I guess the more things change, the more they stay the same.

I don't like either of these kids. I kind of want them to beat each other to bloody pulps.

Instead of drawing a small circle around himself and challenging Hurricane Hattie to a fight, Wilberforce is gutting Uncle Ted like a fish. "How does it feel to be old, Uncle Ted? You are probably closer to death than I am to my birth and I'm 9. Is the Grim Reaper a constant sight in your peripheral vision? Get wrecked, old dork!"

Good News/Bad News

August 21, 1965

Good news! At least this oasis isn't a mirage. Bad news! This guy is still going to die.

Good news! Uncle Ted has never had to use memory aid pills. Bad news! Uncle Ted sundowns earlier and earlier every day.

I Don't Mind Getting Up, It's Having to Do Things I Don't Like

July 2, 1965

What are we test piloting? We have airplanes that do this for us now. Are in ancient times? Is this an Icarus thing? Icarus has bigger problems than a cliff.

I find this hard to believe. Old people have the most erratic sleep schedule I've ever seen. They're up between 4 and 6 every morning. Maybe at the latest, 8 to 9. But an old person sleeping until noon? That's not real.

I Used to Be With It

June 10, 1965

Your guess is as good as mine about this strip. Is it a large bird wearing a human skin suit? Is he wearing some sort of weird shoe? We may never know.

I don't like all the generational conflict that passes between the generations. We are all great in our own way and we all suck in our own way. I'm not going to take the bait of today's strip except to say that Brutus is Gen X.

The Diet and Resolution Were Never Going to Work

January 18, 2008

I'm going to consider all the strips between 1965 and January 17, 2008 to be "Classic Born Loser" so I should get to January 17, 2008 some time around 2060, give or take a year or two.

June 1, 1965

Crime just runs rampant in this comic strip, doesn't it?

I will be honest, you know how cartoons tricked us into thinking things like quicksand, piranhas, and random sticks of dynamite were going to be a more common part of life? I thought that being tied up would also be one. Here I am, 89-years-old and I've never been tied up.

He lasted until the 18th. Most resolutions are abandoned by February 1st. Or sooner.

Why is that donut even in the house? You can't just leave donuts in the house and not expect me to eat them.

It'd be hilarious if Brutus got out, went to a donut store, and brought that donut home to eat. Take that, self-discipline!

Make Your Face Better

January 13, 1977

You are in a disguise, holding out a hat, I'm assuming on the street, what did you expect to happen? I don't even know what's going on here. I'm guessing Veeblefester dropped some money into Brutus' hat and Brutus is mad Veeblefester didn't recognize him or gave him such a paltry amount? It's one of those two scenarios but that's meeting this comic more than halfway.

Oof. You should see my driver's license photo. It's rough. It's a couple years old--taken during COVID lockdown--but it's rough. And I look roughly the same now. I don't know why today's strip is calling me out and being a jerk, but it's just a comic strip and I'm an adult so I can take it.