Just a Little Burnt...

October 12, 1966

I don't know. Your overreaction to "kids being kids" makes me think Wilberforce here will be doing this again. Maybe even when you are wrapped in a towel about to get in the shower.

They were fine a second ago...

Um, what's holding up that apron? It must be Brutus' ample bosom because I don't see shoulder straps.

The Friday Special

October 11, 1966

I love the performance from this waiter. I love his overacting. I love him saying "Now I can afford to have the operation" which is always a great addition when talking about someone being cheap. I love the violin comment. And I love that he's saying this loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear and that they clearly love the performance as well. Bravo! Bravo.

"Golly-Neds" as used here is an old-timey colloquial used mainly in West Virginia, which is probably how Art heard it since Ohio is just a stone's throw from West Virginia.

Anyone who has read a BuzzFeed listicle knows restaurant/diner specials are what's leftover, what's about to expire, or what the place ordered cheap so Brutus should already know this. I find it hard to believe Brutus has never read a BuzzFeed listicle.

Eat Farts, Gladys

October 4, 1966

What are some things we were shown in movies and TV shows that we all thought would be more common than they turned out to be? Quicksand, piranhas. I would also argue being cooked alive by hostile uncontacted tribes. I was led to believe I'd be walking through the woods and coming upon more savage indigenous peoples than I've actually run into (zero).

Wait. Kids are supposed to accomplish something when off from school over the summer? I thought they were just supposed to have fun and be kids. This is your reminder for next summer, kids. Make a plan to accomplish something. Maybe start a garden or rebuild a classic car. The world could use more sonatas or maybe great novels, TV shows, or movies. It's not life unless you're working 24/7/365.

Diner Whiner

October 3, 1966

What the hell kind of bird is that? He says they got it at Easter so a chicken? Kind of scrawny and reminds me, for some reason, of the dodo bird in Porky in Wackyland.

The last of the dodos.

Look at Gladys sitting there with her tea. "Them's my boys," she proudly thinks.

Does Brutus think du jour is some kind of flavor and not "of the day"? Was "tomato" not written with the soup du jour? I have a lot of questions for this comic. But I always have questions when Brutus is shown eating at this diner.

"TGIF. Right, Brutus?" "That's right, Uncle Ted! Oh, shit! I forgot to go to work today!"

Now we're eating seafood at the diner? What is it with this place? Is it cheap? Does it have a good atmosphere? Is it literally the only place to eat in this city besides the fancy restaurant and the fast food place?

Can We Go Back To Talking About Malts?

May 17, 1987

I don't know. Is it? I think no, it's just frowned on. It's so weird how many comics hang their entire punchline on readers knowing the rules of golf.

It's nice to see a woman playing golf, though. Unless her being a woman is supposed to be part of the punchline. It's so hard to tell sometimes.

Ok. What would you like to do? You want to go out to a nice dinner? See a movie? Paint the town red as it were? Then you gotta make plans. Doesn't mean we'll be going out because maybe Brutus will get a gallbladder attack like I did yesterday. Hard to enjoy a Saturday when you can barely move and are spasming all the time.

Yes, please stop Mother Gargle from talking about all the dates she used to go on in high school. I have nothing against stories like that, but I do have something against How I Met Your Grandfather-esque stories that last about two seasons too many, has no character growth, and an unsatisfactory ending.

Take a look at Saturday's post on the Towhead Creek Bridge. If you would like to support me or this website, you can leave a tip on the Support page.

Hot Fudge Thursday

September 27, 1966 + "Care to give me a little hint?"

I am a huge proponent of the public education system, yet am very vocal about how it routinely lets our children down. I'd give you reasons, but I don't have time for that. And if you don't think it happens at your or your kid's school, then I got a bridge to sell you.

This teacher definitely drinks, right? She's probably kind of drunk now.

You don't want to go out for ice cream with your husband? And you said "Marvy"? I think that's two boxes on the divorce form.

I Hate Wilberforce's Shirt, Too

September 22, 1966

If you are this scared of walking down alleys then maybe you shouldn't be walking down alleys. I also find it odd that there's a Plum Street in an area where you have dangerous alleys, but I'm sure there's one somewhere.

You just have loose M&Ms in your pocket? Ugh, children are disgusting. Why do we keep having them?

What are they sitting on? Some kind of wooden dock?

In for a Pound

September 20, 1966

At least people like you. Wait. That watling scale (is that what it's really called?) probably says that to everybody.

Why would you make a meatloaf if you don't have enough, you know, meat? It's usually a pound of meat, right, for one meatloaf? You didn't have a pound of ground beef? Why do you have random amounts of beef under a pound just laying around?

It's All Pig

September 12, 1966

On a casual glance with this comic, I initially thought "Oh, no! Their buddy (probably Thornapple) has been turned into a vampire! What a horrible night for a curse!" But he's just stuck in his sleeping bag and apparently we can't just pull that down to get him out?

It's fried ham slices/pieces. How can you not tell the difference? Has Brutus never seen bacon and/or Canadian bacon before? Is today is first day on Earth?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 988. If you are a part of the LGBTQ+ community and need help, you can contact the Trevor Project.

One Last Hair

September 10, 1966

Just wipe the mustard off with a napkin. It doesn't require becoming a thorn in the hot dog stand guy's side. Also, you'd get less wet--although I guess you would've had to get out in the rain to order and get the hot dogs.

There is someone in the backseat of the car, right?

"It's okay, Dad, you just talk to your hair. We don't mind."

I've often wondered if I would just shave my head or just go bald naturally whenever I start to lose my hair. I guess it depends on how I look. I mean, Brutus doesn't look silly with his bald head. Maybe it's because he doesn't have a forehead. The bridge of his nose just becomes his skull. My head doesn't do that.

Don't forget to follow me on social media which is linking above in the About page. You can see some photos from my tour this weekend of our local abandoned Security Benefit Clock Tower which has sat abandoned since 2004.

🠄This 'Help' was scrawled on the wall of the Security Benefit building in some sort of once-viscous brownish liquid that I hope was once ketchup and not, you know, poop.

Ms. Yuck

September 8, 1966

I love these rain showers. Oh, cool. You're going to rain just enough to get me wet, get my car dirty, and make it feel like we're in an oven afterwards. Cool. Cool cool cool.

Has Hurricane Hattie tasted an oyster? Usually kids just hate something because it looks gross and looks like it would taste gross. I'm impressed Hattie has at least tried oysters. Maybe you should tell Hattie and Wilberforce to start looking for pearls.

So you're saying that I buy a kids' meal without a kid, who might be home by the way, I don't get a toy?

September 3, 1966

Are we making chicken strips? Because this starts out like my chicken strip recipe. This is much better loser material than yesterday's comic.

At least they have a book to keep them entertain as they float on vast wasteland of the ocean.

Uh, no. I paid full price for the kids' meals so I am entitled to the toy. I don't even care if they are the same thing at this point.

And It'll Be Four of the Same Toy

September 2, 1966

How is this being a loser? He's not drowning and he can clearly swim. There better be sharks or piranhas coming or something. This comic is called The Born Loser and I expect to see some loser behavior.

Jesus Christ! Even the cashier is concerned. She can't have Brutus' death at the hand of the four kids' cheeseburger meals she will ring up on her conscious.

It's just lunch (I'm assuming). You don't need a giant meal, just enough to tide you over until dinner. Kids' meal and an apple pie should be fine, Brutus. Are you just eating because you're bored?

Is That a New Phrase In These Cooking Shows That Are All the Rage?

April 12, 1987

Is it this test pattern? Because I could watch it all day.

This one, not so much...

God, remember when TV networks would end at a certain time because who would be up at two ayem(?!) watching TV? Such a simpler time. I'd ask why Brutus isn't watching Nick at Nite, but Fernwood 2 Night is probably on.

Why is cooking so hard for Gladys? You just follow the instructions. I'm a complete moron and I cook things perfectly fine. That's also such a weird trope--a housewife that can't cook. "This character is so dumb, they can't follow a simple recipe, hyuck, hyuck!"

Culinary arsonists seems like a cool descriptor, but I feel it cheapens all the real arsonists out there burning down warehouses, businesses late on protection payments, and fathers who are wanting to start a new life without their family.

Check out the long-winded origin of Firehair! from yesterday. Go see the new Superman movie (I'm seeing it Tuesday). And don't forget to click Support at the top of the page.

That'll Learn 'Im

August 27, 1966

Well, this batch of whatever is ruined. That also looks like it will be hard to clean. I expect more from someone who has two ovens.

Have you heard car horns lately? They're all wimpy these days. Brutus is waiting thirty seconds before honking his horn? No wonder people walk all over him. Five seconds. Ten seconds tops because thirty seconds at a stop light is a long time.

I was stuck at a light yesterday. East- and westbound traffic got a green light as did southbound, but northbound never did. I just turned right and went to the next block. No horn required.

What's for Dinner? *posts at 11 in the morning*

August 26, 1966

Your guess is as good as mine here. Is it funny because he's a named partner and has to clean the floors? Is part of the joke in the door that we can't make out? Whatever's going on, Thornapple is embarrassed!

CLINCH
ABISCH
SCHLEP
HENLAYER
&
THORNAPPLE

I guess...?

They've been eating this meatloaf since Sunday? How big was this loaf?

Look, I get having leftovers constantly can get boring, but I've never had a meatloaf I didn't like. Gladys probably just makes it wrong.

You Know You Can Buy Sandwich-Making Stuff That Isn't Peanut Butter and Jelly, Right?

August 22, 1966

Oh, but daddy!! I love him!! At least he's dressed normal and his pants don't seem as high-waisted as father's trousers seem.

Does Brutus not have any other things to make a sandwich with? Are there never any leftovers--which I guess wouldn't matter if Gladys has been gone all week. How come he isn't going to the diner? Is it closed again after yet another failure of health codes?

Gladys can just visit Mother Gargle? Then why does Mother Gargle visit here so often?

Pizza Night

August 9, 1966

I feel like we keep seeing a variation of this trope, but I could only find one other instance of it. How are you lifting that up anyway? You don't even know what it is, so at the bottom of Lake Erie that treasure chest will remain.

They're not really having pizza are they? Oh, it's worse. They're gonna make their own pizzas using tortillas aren't they?

The Last Donut

August 3, 1966

Is it me or is he holding the nail between his fingers? I usually hold the nail with my index finger and thumb thus reducing the strike zone if I miss the nail with the hammer. The grawlix and fancied censored word is spot on though.

Did Brutus get any donuts? From his phrasing it sounds like he didn't. Gladys got out early this morning and just bought donuts for herself. The box looks like it holds, at most, six.

Hand of Fate

July 26, 1966

"Please no eating food in the art museum, sir."

So what's the worse violation here? Leaving trash on the floor or vandalizing the painting by eating the fruit in it?

I find it hard to believe Wilberforce doesn't know what fate is as an 8-or 9-year-old. Especially since he asked about it back in 2023, got the same answer, and made the same joke.