Worry Wart

October 14, 1966

Based on the expression on his face, Wilberforce isn't exactly sure why he painted your chair either. You know when you get an impulse and you just do something? That's what happened to Wilberforce.

"Orange crate" seems oddly specific.

I feel that if I had more money, I'd have fewer worries. Maybe that's just me.

And I feel it's your partner's main job to not make life harder for you, so thank you for the compliment.

The Last Labor Day

October 13, 1966

The song they're singing sounds familiar but I've already spent way too much time trying to look it up. And look, if she's that eager to sing love songs with who I'm assuming is a stranger then she probably wasn't ever yours to begin with.

That horse is not amused.

Didn't we elect Trump to specifically bring down costs? Instead all Trump did was suck and not die.

Maybe Gladys should get a job. Even something part-time. And then next year when child labor laws are abolished, Wilberforce can get a job.

The Friday Special

October 11, 1966

I love the performance from this waiter. I love his overacting. I love him saying "Now I can afford to have the operation" which is always a great addition when talking about someone being cheap. I love the violin comment. And I love that he's saying this loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear and that they clearly love the performance as well. Bravo! Bravo.

"Golly-Neds" as used here is an old-timey colloquial used mainly in West Virginia, which is probably how Art heard it since Ohio is just a stone's throw from West Virginia.

Anyone who has read a BuzzFeed listicle knows restaurant/diner specials are what's leftover, what's about to expire, or what the place ordered cheap so Brutus should already know this. I find it hard to believe Brutus has never read a BuzzFeed listicle.

Blond Coworker Doesn't Know Anything About Anything

October 7, 1966

Farted during a presentation? I know people farted back in the 1960s. I think there's a chapter on President Lyndon Johnson farting in the White House in one of his biographies. Were fart jokes and embarrassment from farting a thing back then? Society's reaction to farting has changed so much over the existence of humans.

I like how he leaves his cane, briefcase, and hat on the floor as he crawls under the bed. However, that means he's still in his suit which is probably pretty uncomfortable under there.

The stock market isn't real and the numbers are made up. You might as well keep your money in a mattress. This country is a sinking ship and we should all get off while we can.

Have labubus become popular enough to warrant a mention in a legacy comic strip? I just recently heard about them and have seen exactly one (1) in the wild.

Gonna Break His Thumbs

May 10, 1987

The joke here, of course, is that Brutus only says her looks are improving after the light has been turned off. Maybe it would play better if we could see Gladys' face in the last panel. Not that I want to see more of this borderline blackface...

Ok, but let's be honest, there's a huge difference between losing your money at the casino--something you can just stop doing and walk away from--and losing your money because of, say, medical issues or some other tragedy. Unless you are going to take up a collection, maybe you shouldn't be talking about it. And if Hayes has a problem that he can't walk away from the casino, then maybe someone should urge him to go get help.

In case you missed it, take a look at the small farming neighborhood of Jaketown in central Wabaunsee County, Kansas. Never more than a handful of families, Jaketown is memorialized by a three mile road bearing its name.

School is starting for us. If you would like to donate to my wife's teacher wishlist, you can go here.

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I Hate Wilberforce's Shirt, Too

September 22, 1966

If you are this scared of walking down alleys then maybe you shouldn't be walking down alleys. I also find it odd that there's a Plum Street in an area where you have dangerous alleys, but I'm sure there's one somewhere.

You just have loose M&Ms in your pocket? Ugh, children are disgusting. Why do we keep having them?

What are they sitting on? Some kind of wooden dock?

Veeblefester Said Surrounded By Sacks of Money

September 14, 1966

You don't hear about witches using bombs very often. I guess that's a witch. I guess it could just be a very sinister person wearing a dark trench coat and one of those floppy slouch hats. Anyway, I wonder what they are going to blow up.

It's easy to say "money isn't everything" when you have a lot of money.

"It's okay you didn't get the raise. It's not like groceries haven't gone up 3% since January and utilities keep raising rates, and wages have been stagnant for about four years, and everything is going up because of profits and tarrifs. We'll get by somehow. Maybe we can sell Wilberforce or they'll reopen those mines children used to work in."

Wilberforce and Gladys Must Be Off On One of Their Adventures Again

August 25, 1966

I am on record that credit and credit scores are stupid and should be illegal. I guess I should go ahead and go on record that loans and interest rates are garbage as well. You shouldn't be paying more on interest than the amount you owe. And once you essentially pay off the equivalent of the principal, the interest goes away and you just continue to pay on the principal. Anyway, just another reason I will never elected to public office.

Congrats on Thornapple paying back his loan. I don't understand why loan people are such smarmy pieces of shit. You gave me $7000 and I paid you $8500 so how about you keep your attitude to yourself?

"Absolutely! I don't even know why I'm watching this crap," I say. "Let's get some snacks and really make this an afternoon! Maybe we still have some ice cream!"

The Brutus P. Thornapple Memorial Watercooler

March 29, 1987

Why is Brutus wearing a top hat? I've never seen him in a top hat before and I don't think I've seen him in one since. I guess Brutus is trying something different. Something he will probably stop doing because it caused him to fall into the sewer.

Who are those kids? Why are we just creating random children when Wilberforce and Hurricane Hattie are already established characters?

Didn't you hear him? Weren't you listening? Veeblefester specifically said the naming rights would be paid for. My reaction wouldn't be "Golly, Chief!" but "How much is this stupid idea going to cost us? Me, specifically?"

Naming the watercooler for Brutus does make sense since that's where Brutus spends most of his day.

Pizza Night

August 9, 1966

I feel like we keep seeing a variation of this trope, but I could only find one other instance of it. How are you lifting that up anyway? You don't even know what it is, so at the bottom of Lake Erie that treasure chest will remain.

They're not really having pizza are they? Oh, it's worse. They're gonna make their own pizzas using tortillas aren't they?

I, Personally, Love Money

August 5, 1966

I feel of the three men mentioned here, only La Guardia now deserves a mention. Napoleon wasn't all that great and isn't Nero the guy that just sat around while Rome burned? La Guardia was also the only one actually short and rotund. He was estimated to be about Five foot even or five two. Both Napoleon and Nero were considered average height for their times.

None of these purported important men wore a shirt like that though. That might hold you back a little.

Look, I am all for the important things like friends and family. But never discount the importance of money. Money helps keep a roof over your head and put food in your belly. I wish we didn't have to rely on money, but we do.

It's weird Brutus is bringing this up. First, saying there's more important things than money and then bringing up an example that's only doable because of money. Second, just the phrasing. "There's more important things than money...like a BRAND NEW CAR!" It's just weird.

And if the Thornapples were going to Disney World, we'd have a strip of them leaving and a strip of them coming home with no Disney adventures in between.

Leave Early Anyway

August 4, 1966

Maybe Brutus should throw a tantrum. Stomp your feet and jump up and down a lot. It won't work, but it will at least be a nice little show.

How are we talking about this five dollar raise? Is it five dollars per paycheck or five dollars over the year? If it's over the year, why can't he have a raise? You can't afford to add $0.19 to his paycheck, you capitalist pig?

Bowling for Golf

March 1, 1987

I am always a person who says to charge what you are worth. Doctors (and lawyers) are not required to talk to random people about their ailments or lawsuit possibilities. Why would you bill her? No one made you talk to her about her gall bladder. You could've told her to just make an appointment and walked away.

What kind of party is this and why is Brutus here?

Brutus would somehow figure out a way to be bad at bowling, too. Drop the ball on his or someone's foot, throw the ball into the other lanes, somehow jam the ball return mechanism so he doesn't get his ball back. The list of screw-ups is endless.

Hey, the throwaway panels are back.

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Another Dollar Lost

Before we get started on today's Born Loser strips, just pointing out that summer is among us so I am out of work for the next couple of months. If you enjoy what pops up here, you can click on the Support link at the top of the page and support me or the website.

If you didn't see, there's a new post about my arch-nemesis, Capt. Kid. He says he knows famous actress Not Rita Hayworth because he's a liar and needs to seek therapy.

February 15, 1987

If this happened today, Brutus would've been beaten by the other restaurant patrons and arrested. Ha ha. We're living in a terrible timeline.

And Brutus, you're fine. No need to be embarrassed or worried. No need to make a federal case out of going into the wrong bathroom. It's 1987, not 2025.

"He says whatever I tell him to say." "I was with Hurricane Hattie at whatever time you say the crime happened. You can't pin this on her, pigs!"

You taught Kewpie to talk? You were only gone 15 minutes.

Using 'Monsieur' Very Loosely

June 22, 1966

Do you need to go somewhere, Alice? There are places you can go that will protect you from him. Can you go stay with someone? This guy does not seem to be as cool and fun as his namesake tiles.

You don't need an appetizer. It is just you. Just get some extra food or a side with your meal if you are that hungry.

The waiter's face in the third panel. "Oh, geez. Sounds like I'm getting a $5 tip with this one."

Droned

June 20, 1966

How much would you tip this guy back in 1966? Fifty cents? Maybe giving him a cookie or two would be a better tip. I don't know.

Yes, yes, drone is only spelled one way. Wilberforce is an idiot. But whenever I did vocabulary we needed to know the definition, so which 'drone' is it?

Four Bags of Money

June 18, 1966

Everyone named Hercules sounds made-up, like a character in a novel or TV show or something. This is no different. The names Hercules seemingly portrays strength, but when you look, most people named Hercules are nerds and dorks with the occasional soldier thrown in.

In 17 years, Brutus has only had 3 raises totaling $13? Also, Brutus hasn't had a raise in nine years? Those both somehow seem illegal, but it probably isn't.

At Least It's In a Vase

January 25, 1987

Why does Brutus look like he's really pulling one over on her and getting a bargain in the fifth panel? She's a businesswoman and probably kind of a sleazy one. Well, not sleazy, just looking out for number one.

I like the veil. Adds a layer of mystery that kind of makes the $25 worth it.

Ooh, a dandelion from your own yard. Yes, very thoughtful.

There actually is a Children's Day. It's an international holiday usually used to bring causes that highlight child welfare across the world to light. This year, in the United States, it is on June 8. Hopefully there are still dandelions around to give to Wilberforce that day.

A brief history of the Heber Institute posted yesterday. If you would like to support me or this website, you can click on the Support page.

Blow Her Kisses!!

June 2, 1966

Is a moth flying out of his wallet? I'm going to assume that's what's happening.

Quincy Madison is really a ladies man. I don't like that he seems to bounce between some kind of simp to a man of action, but The Born Loser isn't really known for its character development or continuity.

19-I wish they would've left on the original signed date-83

"Come on, Gladys. You can't be mad at me for sneaking out of that party and leaving you alone with a suit of armor. That happened 10, 11 years ago."

O...K...?

I am against AI. No one is stopping you from creating anything, just start creating. Oh, it's not good? Well, keep working at it and you'll get better. But I'm also against AI helping us learn things. ChatGPT isn't a search engine and it will just make things up. The screenshot to the left is a list of 10 "lesser-known facts about Snoopy". Clearly, much of it is gathered from AI. It was posted to one of those non-official random Facebook Pages that anyone can create and no one was calling it out despite being weirdly incorrect about a lot of it. Let's go through it, shall we?

1. Snoopy doesn't have a full name and if he did, it wouldn't be "Snoopy Von Peanuts" as Schulz was not quiet about how much he hated the name "Peanuts".

2. While Snoopy was inspired was Schulz's dog, Spike, Spike was an English Pointer. Spike (drawn by Schulz) actually appeared in a "Ripley's Believe It or Not" comic about being able to eat nails. Andy, Schulz's favorite dog, was a mixed breed.

3. Snoopy wasn't always a dog? He was, but clearly the AI got confused because Snoopy originally started out as a regular dog who seemed to roam the neighborhood. It took awhile to establish that he was really Charlie Brown's dog and even long to turn Snoopy into the character we all know today.

4. Snoopy does have an entire family. You may have seen his family tree popping up around the internet. Snoopy's family consists of siblings Andy, Olaf, Rover, Spike, Marbles, Molly, and Belle. Belle also has a son, giving Snoopy a nephew.

5. Snoopy's favorite food, at least based on appearances in the strip, are chocolate chip cookies.

6. It's weird that the most complicated fact is also the most correct. The World War I Flying Ace is probably Snoopy's most famous alter ego having appeared in "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown". But is it a "lesser-known fact"?

7. Another correct fact. Peanuts first debuted on October 2, 1950, with Snoopy making his first appearance on October 4.

8. He's a global icon. Yeah, this is also correct.

9. The Peanuts television specials began in 1965 with "A Charlie Brown Christmas", but the first Peanuts feature film was "A Boy Named Charlie Brown" in 1969. "Snoopy Come Home" was the second.

10. While Snoopy is shown typing on top of his doghouse trying to write the great American novel, "expert in typing" is odd phrasing. What is his words per minute? How accurate is he?

May 26, 1966

Ugh, why is that water fountain so close to Veeblefetzer's office? Just so he can harass his employees? Seems like a very specific bit for someone who has "Don't Tread on Me" written on his door.

I looked this up and nothing was helpful. I just want to point out how pissed off people get when it looks like our sports are being rigged. Pine tar. Deflategate. Doping. Pete Rose.