Pizza Night

August 9, 1966

I feel like we keep seeing a variation of this trope, but I could only find one other instance of it. How are you lifting that up anyway? You don't even know what it is, so at the bottom of Lake Erie that treasure chest will remain.

They're not really having pizza are they? Oh, it's worse. They're gonna make their own pizzas using tortillas aren't they?

Opening an Umbrella Indoors Is Why He's a Born Loser

The Iowa Blue Beard--William Mawhor was placed on trial for the poisoning of his sixth wife. It was then revealed that four of the last five of his wives also died in a similar manner. Friends consider him just a misfortunate soul. Is William Mawhor a cold-blooded killer?

June 22, 1986

It took me a couple reads to see that the kids are digging for worms. I'm assuming to grind up into a smoothie or something like Beavis and Butt-Head would do.

I can't believe these kids are digging up worms, but the punchline is "Brutus is dumb". He's definitely getting a worm smoothie.

Why is the umbrella black? He's watching baseball so I can assume he's watching the Guardians so why isn't the umbrella navy blue or red? Sunday is really the only time the actual comic artist does the coloring. Has Chip been watching The Umbrella Academy? Did Wednesday really make an impact on him?

If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope

November 19, 1965

I don't usually compliment this comic strip because it's usually so meh, but I do want to give credit where credit is due. I love the phrasing of this strip. "Me? Paint myself into a corner?", the scoffing noise, the seemingly sinister implications of "escape hatch" which is just the door leading out of the room. The dastardly set-up (for some reason) makes the joke of the strip even better. Take it down a few notches, Brutus. You remembered not to paint yourself into a corner. Congrats, you did the bare minimum.

I'm just imaging Brutus, who shouldn't want to talk to Mother Gargle in the first place, walking by and going "Hey, Mother Gargle. Not dead yet?" and getting more frustrated and louder each time he repeats it because she can't hear him.

Wilberforce, put your own damn clothes away. And scrub out your own skidmarks.

This is a weird question to ask in your own house. You hear someone talking then it is obviously one of the three people who live in your house. She should also be able to recognize her own husband's voice. Unless Brutus uses different voices when he talks to himself. If so, that's some very impressive insanity.

Ever since I left Twitter, I've been on all the other social networking sites, but none of them have come close to what I had on Twitter. I want to be able to step away but I have a website to think about. I guess I could just stop updating my website...

Hey, whatever gets you to show up.

I bet they didn't even catch a tire or a boot. That's how loser-y these two are. They are also so loser-y that maybe they caught malaria, West Nile, or Zika from those mosquitoes.

My Signature Looks Like Crap On Those Dumb Screens

August 10, 1965

How long has Mr. Brutus P. Thornapple had his dentures? I guess I shouldn't judge, I had a friend who got dentures at, like, 25 or something. I don't think he's lost them in the Gulf of Mexico or the Ohio River though. You should be able to keep those in your mouth. But, again, I shouldn't judge.

Is this our first mention of Brutus P. Thornapple?

The main reason I give kids about having to learn cursive is for a signature and so they can read older documents. Plus, you never know who writes in cursive so it's just a good skill to know. I don't know how much time, if any, is spent on teaching cursive because I don't work in an elementary school, and cursive isn't on state testing and teachers aren't going to go over stuff that isn't on that test.

And Wilberforce doesn't care about paying for things. He's just going to scan his fingerprint and the money will be deducted from his government income account because robots do everything in the future so no one has to work.

Have You Tried Turning It Off and On Again?

I have decided to fully leave Twitter. I stopped posting on it back in November but kept checking every couple of days or so. Every time I thought about getting back on, waiting on some sort of stability, it would never happen. Something would always happen that kept me away whether it was bigotry and racism, right-wing brigading, or just a stupid tweet from the current owner.

I finally came to realize that going back was never going to happen and I couldn't keep sticking around and giving Twitter and Elon Musk that attention. Neither of them deserve it at this point. The only thing I will miss is that most of the views to this website came from Twitter. I am on other social media which you can find in my Linktree or the About page. Over winter break, I plan on finalizing my decision and deleting my Twitter account. As much as I don't want to, why leave something like this up to rack up bot Likes, retweets, and messages. Seriously, since Musk's takeover I've gotten 15 new followers--all spam or sex bots. Anyway, I don't know what's going to happen. Since getting off Twitter, I've gotten a lot more writing done so maybe you will just have to read what I write in books and short story collections.

September 5, 1973

I don't see how how it's any fun for Gladys sitting in the boat and watching Brutus smoke and fish.

I guess she just comes along because she wants to hurl insults at her husband. Or she doesn't want to stay home and take care of Wilberforce.

As someone who used to work tech support for a cable company, I understand the frustration on both sides. Believe me, I wish I could teleport into your house and just do everything but I can't. If you can't do it then we'll send out a tech. They'll be there whenever the hell they'd like and may or may not charge you.

Cool Cats

July 28, 1974

Is Hattie wandering around the neighborhood trying to sell these worms? Maybe she's just very proud of the worms she has dug out of the ground. Either way, she probably wasn't going to put a worm in Brutus' coffee but she certainly is now.

Hattie doesn't seem like the coolest kid in school to me. I mean, visually and aesthetically she is. She smokes, has a pet skunk, is kind of a bad ass but that doesn't translate to coolness.

Hattie reminds me of this woman that I work with and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Nuts to Milk

September 18, 1972

Even if Brutus knew it was treasure chest filled with gold, how is he supposed to get it out of the water? What's he going to do? Figure out a way to remember where he was? Go back to shore? Learn how to scuba? Rent scuba equipment? Dive down to the bottom of the lake/gulf/ocean? Then what? Fail at lifting the chest? Swim back up to the surface? Return to shore? Rent a boat that has a hook on it? At this point, he's spending too much money and now having to share the gold with people. He's better off believing he snagged a log.

I love almond milk. I know how bad it is for the environment so I never drink it anymore. Although I'm seeing that cow's milk uses more water and more cow's milk is produced than almond milk so now I don't know what to do.

Is Gladys going to pour herself a glass of almond milk or did she just set the carton on the counter for no reason?

Father's Day Catch Up

Happy Father's Day to me.

And I guess to every other father out there.

Except you bad fathers. You know who you are!


Who's Wilberforce spending the night with? Hattie? HAWT!! Hattie doesn't have pillows Wilberforce can borrow? That seems weird. I've spent the night at very few places but never had to bring my own pillow. That just seems really complicated.

Also, is this strip written correctly? I know that Gladys is implying that all Brutus does is watch TV and bowl (forgetting he also eats a lot, golfs and watches losing baseball teams) but for some reason it seems badly written.


Ew, fishing. Obviously I'm not a fan but I have been three or four times. Caught nothing.

I tried to look up the Centerville River (as seen in this strip) and couldn't find it. I even with the City of Centerville's website and they have nothing about a river. Anyway, I find hard to believe Brutus and Wilberforce actually caught the fish. They probably just picked up dead ones along the shore. Brutus is a born loser after all.


"'Oh, dear'"? Veeblefester is the President and CEO of a tea cozy manufacturer who has yet to ask for or recieve a bailout in these troubling economic times. His company has managed to practically wipe all other tea cozy manufacturers off the map and despite just making tea cozies, his company has managed to produce more pollution that every energy company combined and he says "Oh, dear"?

AAAAUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!