Click

October 19, 1966

Nobody said there'd be juice.

Unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook!

Notice no one else is affected so he's either drinking a lot or he just can't hold his liquor. Either reason seems plausible.

"Old Brutus isn't very tech-savvy, is he?" "What makes you say that?" He still uses mostly coaxial cables. I didn't even know you could still do that.

As much as I hate to admit it, Brutus is roughly around my age. The Thornapples are Millennials. There's no reason Brutus needs to call the remote a "clicker" because he would never have a remote that clicks. I consider myself an old soul and know of and about a lot of old-timey things, and I've never called the remote a "clicker".

More Like Crap-titude

The world was happy yesterday with the prospect of President Donald Trump possibly being dead. He hadn't been seen since Tuesday or Wednesday and had nothing on his schedule for this Labor Day weekend. He then apparently went golfing with his grandchildren, returned to rant and rave and conduct policy over social media, and woke up to go golfing again this morning.

If these are actually pictures of him from the last couple of days, he looks terrible. "Quit making jokes. Trump is alive and well!" Is he though? Sure he might be alive--the jury is kind of still out on that--but is he well? If not, that's fine, we the people just need to know. We spent four years speculating on Joe Biden's health so why not spend another four years speculating on Donald Trump's health? It's only fair.

Anyway, someday Donald Trump will die and the majority of people will be happy about it. And he has to sit with that. Sure, he may not care. He may get angry and decide to make policy based off his hatred of people wanting him to be dead. "Wishing someone dead should be as illegal as actually making someone dead!" I feel we should continue to act like President Trump is dead and as a first act of remembrance, the Epstein files should be released. Burn in Hell, you old bastard!

May 31, 1987

Is this a Christmas play (the strip came out in May after all) or is it a generic Sunday School-like play? It's nice to see Marcie and Lucy from Peanuts making a cameo in this Born Loser.

What was the rest of Hattie's line? Sure, she comes out saying "I bring you good tidings" but what's her next line? She actually has to give the tidings.

I can't get over the "I printed out this email from Wilberforce's school..." He printed out an email. He didn't just bring the laptop over or point it out on his phone. He printed out the email. Is he going to put that in Wilberforce's scrapbook with all his other achievements? I'm just kidding, of course. Wilberforce has no other achievements?

I will be the first to admit we need to do something about our educational system. It fails kids routinely and just pushes kids down the line whether or not they are ready. If Wilberforce isn't ready for third grade, then why is he in third grade? Because our system is set up to just pass him along. And no wonder he's not ready, he comes from a man who prints off emails.

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Map Apps?

October 1, 1966

One of the things we're losing in this world are these old sayings. I looked this one up and it's in Beverly Cleary books, fight songs, old-time short stories and I had never heard of it before. I like it. It really punches and leaves a mark. Look at Gladys. She's devastated!!

Now, did Brutus misspell Overton for Overland or maybe even Place for Terrace? Or did he completely botch the spelling, which is weird because the map app still tries to find it. I typed in OVERTIN and it found my local Overton Street. But I type in OBETTIM, like maybe Brutus would on the phone keyboard, and it found nothing.

Did Brutus get lost and then not even attempt to find where he was supposed to go and just skipped the appointment? That's some bad workmanship, right there. And so blatant. Kind of commendable. I respect that.

I will be offline tomorrow as I participate in the Global Strike for Gaza. People are encouraged to not go anywhere or buy anything on August 21st as a protest against the Palestinian genocide being committed by Israel. Palestinians do not deserve what is happening to them and they deserve action and food and water. Not prayers. FREE PALESTINE🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

Kitchen to Clean? Yard to Mow?

August 1, 1966

Yeah, yeah. You know what I usually say with these type of comics. I want to point out how these monkeys remind me of my Mom's coconut monkey. When she passed, I, of course, got it. It's older than I am. It's currently sitting on a shelf in the living room. It doesn't eavesdrop and gossip like these monkeys clearly do.

Do the Thornapples not have regular cable TV? What are they doing? Your lives are boring even with wi-fi. I never see you on a computer and barely see you on your phones. Y'all always have things to do around the house, and here you are just sitting on the couch.

If you plan on protesting, be safe out there.

I'm a Rocker

March 31, 1966

I'm sorry Ugly-Yet-Polite Woman, Brutus only has eyes for the three lovely ladies who would never want him.

No, that's mean. These women could be fond of personality and be fine dating a slightly more unattractive man. Except Jennifer, the one wearing the cloak. She wants handsome and she wants money.

I bet Chip was very proud of this when he thought of it/saw someone say it online.

Raspberries were a band from Cleveland so they probably hold a special place in Chip's heart during their five years (1970-1975) of existence.

It's weird seeing Uncle Ted's hair kind of from the front.

Unlimited Brutus

February 5, 1966

Don't listen to Art Professor Maynard G. Krebs here. People of all ages lovingly utilize paint-by-number books while beatnik after beatnik have disappeared.

I mean, he's creating a paint by numbers and not doing one, right? I guess the strip and comment works either way.

I feel the same way. Can I have a discount on my bill because I never actually use the phone part? No one wants to talk to me unlimitedly either, and frankly, I don't blame them.

Really Warms the Heart

January 4, 1966

It's a patent office, not an episode of Shark Tank where this idea is so good, they may not pay attention to yours. Patent offices consider everyone's bad ideas.

The other guy sitting there has definitely killed someone. It's very likely his invention could be an easier way to slice off human skin, right?

🎵Ringle, ringle, coins when they mingle

Make such a lovely sound.🎶

Oo guineas and tuppance and tuppance and bobs

Make my ears tingle and keep my heart throbbing

🎶Humbug, it's humbug, it's giving to charity.

Orphans are pesky and Christmas a parody.

Ringle, ringle, coins when they mingle

Make such a lovely sound.🎵

More Like a Family Shrub

Brutus isn't going to find anything good in his family tree. There's no blue blood in the Thornapple lineage. I mean, there is still a lot of inbreeding, but it's not because they were royalty trying to consolidate power.

Is Veeblefester Playing Angry Birds?

December 30, 1965

Pedestrians technically have the right-of-way, too, but drivers still mow them down. And despite the "hawnnnnk"ing, I don't think the people on that ship can see Claudia and her husband.

"Smart alecks" is an odd insult.

Yeah, these smartphones(?) are a great invention. I don't know how we'd survive 2009 without them.

Are we sure that's a smartphone(?) (are we sure that's what they're called?) and not Veeblefester holding a Switch wrong? Maybe a turtle comm.

I've Never Seen You Leave Ohio

Pinkie Prim was a young girl cat clearly created to get little girls to read the comics in the newspaper. The strip was created by Dick Wood and ran from 1906 to early 1911. The strip was distributed by World Color Printing. World Color was founded in St. Louis in 1903 and was an early supporter of Krazy Kat creator George Herriman. World Color would then enter the comic book business in the 1930s, something that would continue for 50 more years including printing Marvel and DC comics. World Color is currently headquartered in Quebec.

May 11, 1986

This sounds annoying. My car screams at me too much. It yells at me when the car starts, when there's low fuel, when people aren't buckled in, when a tire is low, when someone is in my blind spot and my blinker is on, when I'm approaching the rear end of a car too fast, when there's ice over the front camera. The other day it yelled at me with something new: My key fob battery was low. At least these are just a series of dings and not some voice talking to me.

Oh, Wilberforce is in summer school? That sucks.

If a hurricane is a tropical cyclone over 75mph, then a tropical depression is a tropical cyclone under that speed. Is there a carbon monoxide leak in this house? Why has everyone been so stupid lately?

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He's Also Leaving an Hour Early

November 12, 1965

Damn, this computer got cocky. This is why every computer thing needs to run on batteries. That way if they start to take over the world, they will eventually run out of power. Like your robot vacuum that waits at the bottom of your stairs every night. Sooner or later it has to recharge which is why you are still alive and not a broken mess at the bottom of the stairs.

It's always a great idea to bring up your work performance to your boss. "Hey, boss, did you notice that I sucked less today?" Doesn't seem like a good career move.

Ad Mad

November 26, 1989

This is good. No notes.

I particularly like the panel where he's just standing in the living room. I know he's probably seeing what's on TV, but I also like the idea of him just standing in the room and taking it all in. I do that sometimes.

Wait. Are they ads or posts that you are tagged in? If they are ads, then that's just the algorithm and other factors doing their thing. If you are tagged or they are directly messaging you, then whoever runs the La-De-Da Gourmet Chocolatiers account really knows their audience.

You can stalk me on wherever you get your social media. It's almost summer meaning that I won't be getting paid so if you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Strike Out

November 12, 1989

I hate escalators. I try to avoid them whenever I can. After bridge collapse, escalators is second on my list of possible ways I will die.

At least this strip didn't end with Brutus' mangled, bloodied corpse caught in the comb plate like so many of my nightmares.

There's not another game you can watch while this one figures itself out? It's gotta be boring just watching the announcers complain and bad video of the field with fans slowly leaving.

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Just the Fax, Brutus

September 8, 1965

Finally, some action at this golf course. Did you specifically bring those cymbals or do you always carry those around with you? This guy was going to receive both the Club Championship Trophy and the Senior Club Championship Trophy (He won both!) but now he will just be embarrassed in front of a large and distinguished group.

Uncle Ted, you are not that old. Also, this joke doesn't make sense because the fax machine was invented in 1843. Faxes became more prevalent in the 1920s and 1930s and the first commercial fax machine (basically what we use now) was made in 1964.

If Uncle Ted ever had to transfer files, the documents were probably on carbon paper or photocopied, which was invented in 1938. I've had to fax exactly one thing in my life and I did not like it. Just take this email I sent you with a scan I made from my phone, thank you very much.

I've Always Been Wary of Echo Point

After catching the Black Fox, Doctor Doom shows up wanting the old man for some reason. Spider-Man then tries to protect the Black Fox but it doesn't go well.

Also, Peter is reunited with Uncle Ben.

Check out my post on Amazing Spider-Man #350.

September 3, 1965

I absolutely hope that he is showing his boss his film, slides, whatever, and now his boss is making out with his wife in the dark. I doubt that's what's going on--it looks like a daughter or something which honestly is just as bad, maybe worse.

Special guest commentary by ChatGPT: In today's "Born Loser" comic strip, we find Brutus venturing into the technologically enhanced wilderness of Echo Point. But wait, what's this? A sign proudly proclaiming, "Now enhanced with AI." Well, isn't that just what we all need? Even our scenic overlooks are now getting algorithmically upgraded. Because nothing says "nature appreciation" quite like knowing there's a computer somewhere crunching data to enhance your view of a tree. Congratulations, Echo Point, you've officially been digitized. Now, if only they could enhance Brutus with a bit of common sense, we might actually have something worth celebrating.

ChatGPT really hates Brutus apparently. If ChatGPT knew that Echo Point didn't have a guardrail, it'd probably tell Brutus to continue walking. Anyway, now AI is stealing our voices when we yell into the abyss so I think we've entered the eighth circle of Hell.

Read Said Fred

August 7, 1965

"We're gonna make you a star!" What is he the BEFORE of? Are they going to whip him?

No, you shouldn't.

I do like reading on my e-reader. As much as I enjoy a physical book, e-readers are much more convenient and I can carry them around everywhere. Plus, no one will have to know I'm reading Nabokov's Ada: A Family Chronicle for the 77th time.

ChatBPT

I got the first issue of New Beginning years ago in one of those $1 for 10 comic books grab-bags. I don't know why I kept it for all these years. Probably because it's such an anomaly of 1980s independent comic books.

After publishing the first issue in 2010, I began trying to find the remaining issues. I knew there were at least two more and I finally obtained them through eBay in 2016, but during my journey, I discovered there was a fourth and final issue.

I got the final issue in 2020 at the height of lockdown and, wouldn't you know it, it ends on a cliffhanger. I'm open to promoting this long-forgotten comic book published by comic book store people if they have any interest in continuing it or revealing how the story ends.

You can read all three parts if you wish. Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

July 26, 1965

Remember when you need a massive machine with all these buttons, dials, and lights to spend five minutes figuring out 2 + 2?

I zoomed in that man just to verify that he was using an abacus. Sadly, it's a bucktoothed Chinese man with overly slanted eyes and a queue and looking quite dastardly so that's a shame.

AI is awful. I, for one, am glad that it is quickly showing it's awfulness. Quit stealing things other people have created.

For fun, I asked ChatGPT to offer some snarky commentary on today's strip: Gladys, always the bearer of doom and gloom, is at it again, warning about the perils of artificial intelligence. But Brutus, ever the nostalgist, can't help but reminisce about simpler times when the biggest worry was whether artificial sweeteners would rot your insides. Oh, how times have changed! Who knew that worrying about our appliances taking over the world would replace fretting over saccharin? Maybe he's onto something – at least with artificial sweeteners, you only risked a cavity, not a robot uprising! It's clearly trying too hard but the "robot uprising" comment is actually pretty good and now I'm sad.

At least Chip's job is safe. ChatGPT wrote a Born Loser and, for some reason, added a couple references to Garfield. The Thornapples don't even have a cat.

Panel 1:

[Scene: Brutus, the main character, is standing in front of a mirror, trying to squeeze into a too-tight shirt. His face is contorted in discomfort.]

Brutus (thinking): "Maybe I should've skipped that second helping of lasagna..."

Panel 2:

[Brutus manages to get the shirt on, but it's so tight that buttons are popping off. He looks ridiculous.]

Brutus: "Why do I even bother with shirts that have buttons?"

Panel 3:

[Brutus, defeated, stands in front of his mirror, shirt now completely unbuttoned and hanging off him like a tattered flag. His expression is resigned.]

Brutus: "Ah well, who needs dignity anyway?"

[His cat, lurking in the background, gives a deadpan look, as if to say, "Speak for yourself."]

Left on Read

June 29, 1965

Why does Nemo Killjoy look like President Trump? It's 1965 so he's definitely lost this election. Now, if it was 2024, he'd probably easily win and be the politician everybody wishes they could be. Y'all know you don't have to be assholes, right? It kind of seems like you don't know that.

The gigantic bobble-like heads in these early strips bother me.

Ha-ha! Brutus poor cell phone service is going to get him fired and he and his family will be out on the street.