I Will Judge This Book By Its Cover, It's Beautiful

July 20, 1966

He clearly got some sort of space disease. He should be lucky his body didn't freeze, depressurize, and his heart explode from being in space and that suit clearly not being safe. I do hope this is more of a disease situation and not a chest-burster situation, because then both these men are dead.

Is Hurricane Hattie going to read the classic Caldecott Medal-winning children's tale about the passage the time and slight commentary on urban sprawl called "The Little House" by Virginia Lee Burton? That book may not be very long (about 40 pages) but you could write a dissertation on the themes and nuances in the illustrations.

Poolside

December 3, 1965

I can only assume that he tested it when done fixing it and the lamp worked fine. Therefore, the problem lies with the outlet, not the lamp.

I can tell you one thing for sure. I did not need to see Wilberforce's weird body today. Or any day. Nobody needs to see that.

Read Said Fred

August 7, 1965

"We're gonna make you a star!" What is he the BEFORE of? Are they going to whip him?

No, you shouldn't.

I do like reading on my e-reader. As much as I enjoy a physical book, e-readers are much more convenient and I can carry them around everywhere. Plus, no one will have to know I'm reading Nabokov's Ada: A Family Chronicle for the 77th time.

Kewpie's Santa!!

March 4, 1989

What the hell is Wilberforce reading that it would have ophidiophobia in it?

Fear of snakes, by the way.

Merry Christmas, Kewpie. Merry Christmas to all.

The 3 Big Ones--Steinbeck, Dostoevsky, Tolstoy

March 23, 1986

Instead of eating hamburgers and egg sandwiches, we should be eating the rich.

I feel Veeblefester has already paid for the hamburger and we see no money exchange hands so hopefully this diner--or "greasy spoon"--has a least some of Veeblefester's money. I also hope Veeblefester is hit by a bus.

I am currently reading East of Eden. It's my favorite book and I'm reading it for inspiration on the book I'm writing. I like rereading my old favorites because I always find something new or interpret something a different way.

I find it cool--is cool the right word?--that I've read four of the five classic books they mention. I have not read Ivanhoe.

If you would like to support this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

What Do You Know Sunday?

Just let him read the damn book. I reread books all the time. I do it because I like them and I notice something new every time I reread.

Huh. I always pictured Uncle Ted living in a retirement community or senior living facility. Apparently, he still has his own house and is looking forward to watching his family have to sift and sort through his garbage from the afterlife.

Actually, looking at you, I would've guessed immediately that you played football in school.

I'm glad to see Hattie harassing Brutus. It's been awhile. We haven't seen her in a new strip since July 5, and she hasn't bullied Brutus since February.

"I know I said 'I love cheese' which to you probably means 'Give me a lot of cheese', but to me it means 'Give me all the cheese you have.'"

You just keep working that grater, cheese monkey. You'll probably want to grab another block as well. I just going to sit here and smile.

This is not a great way to handle potential sales calls. You should be having a secretary or receptionist transfer calls the sales staff, not have whoever gets to phone first gets the sale.

Has Uncle Ted seriously never heard about E-ZPass, TollTag, PIKE Pass, whatever your state calls it? Did he seriously think Brutus just zoomed through the toll and began thinking about turning in his nephew and if there would be a reward? Did he not see the massive signs along the toll road that explains how to stop paying at the toll booths?

I guess we're even. Uncle Ted doesn't know about cashless tolls and Brutus doesn't know what an MRI is. Maybe that's why Uncle Ted had an MRI done.

Can we get to eating and drinking now, or are those sandwiches and lemonade just for decoration?

Daily posts will return tomorrow since the start of the school year has settled down. If you would like to support my writing, research, or website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

The Great Portland Adventure (Not Shown)

Why does Mother Gargle get to dictate the menu? Is she helping pay for it? Is she helping cook it? It'd be one thing if she just showed up once a month but clearly she's been here for more than a week and we're on our second, maybe even third liver and onion dinner.

We're not at that point yet. Things that are in the can will still air, production has stopped on most everything else. Besides, there are hundreds, maybe thousands, of shows out there you can watch. You don't have to succumb to any of these things--especially the reality shows.

I don't even want to glance at the comments on this strip about how schools don't teach cursive anymore. They don't have time, people. They have to make sure the kid's reading comprehension is up to par before the four standardized tests they have to take during the year.

I thought Mother Gargle had recently sent Gladys a letter and I was like "But she spends 50% of her time at her daughter's house", but then I realized that it's probably a letter from when Gladys was in college or something. Replies for Gladys asking for money.

Common mistake I assume as most people are going to Portland, Oregon and not Portland, Maine.

Brutus had to drive to Portland?! That's an 11-hour drive! He had to have stayed in a hotel! Did Veeblefester pay for that? What about gas?! Good lord, now that's a business trip!

We had to come up with a one-word description of ourselves when we started back up at work. I didn't come up with one--I refuse to be dumbed-down to just one word. But I should've said 'steady' and saw how many people asked themselves "Steady? What the hell is he talking about?"

"I didn't go shopping, I stayed home and shopped." Brutus is now shopping online for how much quicklime he would need to dissolve Gladys and if it would damage his bathtub or pipes.

He's reading the manual for a universal remote, which is weird considering all it has is the instructions on how to program the remote and the codes all in seven different languages. What are you expecting to find? A way to remove laugh tracks? A way to give the vaguest description and still be able to find the actor you want to watch? A way to mute Gladys when she starts complaining about you watching too many sports games?

Jackie Torrence

Jackie Torrence, The Story Lady, was born in Chicago in 1944 but was sent to live with grandparents on a farm in a small town in North Carolina. It was there she developed a love for stories and telling stories. When school started, she moved in with an aunt in Salisbury, North Carolina.

She left college to get married to a minister which took her all across the South to impoverished churches. Sadly, the marriage ended in divorce and Jackie back in North Carolina with a young daughter. She took a job at the library in High Point where, after telling a couple of children a story, her life changed. She soon became known for her storytelling, the way she told them, her gestures, and facial expressions. She quickly learned that she could make some extra income telling stories at birthday parties, book groups, and schools. After an appearance at the National Storytelling Convention, Jackie was soon traveling across the country to tell stories. She had newspaper interviews and appearances on late-night talk shows alongside her usual appearances at schools, conventions, and corporate retreats.

Sadly, Jackie Torrence died in Salisbury, North Carolina, of a heart attack in 2004. She was only 60 years old. She has a story, written by but not read by her, in our school district's eighth grade Language Arts textbook. We read the story, discussed it, and then watched a few videos of her actually telling a story. The students enjoyed the stories we watched, were surprised to discover that she was Black woman, and that she died relatively young.

Here are two stories from Jackie Torrence. One was one that we watched, The Golden Arm, and the other is a special presentation episode from 1981 that aired on CBS, Two White Horses: A Mountain Tale.

And that, is the end of that.

Winter Break Quickie

September 12, 1973

Where'd Brutus get that car? Brutus can't afford that. Instead of wondering if he should spank Brutus(?!), that patrolman should be checking the plates and VIN to see if it's stolen.

"Being old is great! Ha ha ha! Ha ha *breaks down crying*"

Wrong and Right

August 28, 1965

You see hot foots a lot in old comedy routines. This comic made me wonder if the hot foot was really a prank that was used as prolifically as it seems. It seems like a really dangerous prank. The only real-life mentions of hot foots come from several baseball players so I guess the dugout gets really boring or something.

I highly doubt Wilberforce learned anything. That's not his thing.

The Thornapple House Actually Has Books?

October 9, 1974

Just the same two notes over and over? I guess that's what I would do if I had a tuba.

Did Brutus buy or is he renting that tuba?

For Whom the Bell Tolls is better, in my opinion. The Great Gatsby is meh. I'd recommend something else. I would also choose the rambling magnum opus that is East of Eden than The Grapes of Wrath. But Dr. Seuss is good, too. A book is a book and don't let anyone tell you what you're reading is garbage or "doesn't count".

Peter Rabbit Is a Stupid Book About a Stupid Rabbit Who Steals Vegetables from Other People's Gardens

July 6, 1973

I know it's hard to imagine even though I've posted on here before but Wilberforce actually used to look like this. I don't know why. It's disturbing and weird.

I'm the same way. I don't like wasting my day offs. I like getting up early so I have as much of the day as possible and then I go to bed late. Cut to me waking up at noon.

That's a Thick Cookbook

Let me tell you the recipe for my family specialty, Southern Braised Brisket. The origins of his slightly sweet yet still savory delicacy begin in North Carolina where my 6xGreat Grandfather settled on a farm after the American Revolution...

I agree. Stop reading cookbooks. I just need the recipe, I don't need a long story to go with it. I don't care if it is for copyright purposes.

That's Still Reading

I don't think I've ever seen Gladys read anything except the newspaper or a magazine--which counts by the way. Brutus reads the same things so remember that when you point a finger at someone, you have three fingers pointing back at you.

Have we stopped calling it 'closed captioning' and are just calling them subtitles now?

Yes, Stare At a Book

Yesterday, Asheville, North Carolina police found Night Court actor Harry Anderson dead in his home, he was 65. Anderson got his start as a street magician and self-proclaimed con artist who then made it big by performing his act on Saturday Night Live. He then landed a recurring role as Harry the Hat on Cheers in 1982 before becoming Judge Harold T. Stone on Night Court. After Night Court ended in 1992, Anderson took the role of Dave Barry in the series Dave's World until 1997. Since then, he's been relatively dormant making a couple guest spots on Son of the Beach and 30 Rock. His last major role was as Professor Kaman in the Christian film Leap of Faith.

Harry Anderson had a huge influence on me. His presence on Night Court helped mold me as a teenager when I watched in reruns. Because of Anderson, I wanted to get into law and become a judge. I wanted to start wearing fedoras. I wanted to learn magic. I wanted to start liking Mel Torme. The Mel Torme thing actually happened. I'm listening to Mel as I write this. Even after Night Court, he continued to inspire me. I wanted to be a syndicated newspaper columnist, a loving but sarcastic and lackadaisical father and husband. I wanted to convey professionalism but look like myself even if that wasn't professional. A lot of who I am is because of how much Harry Anderson inspired me.

Harry Anderson is the first celebrity death that makes me feel like I lost a member of my family. That's how important he was to my world. When I created a television series, I specifically based the father on Anderson and secretly hoped that if it was ever made, he would actually be cast. I named the main character in my Zeke & Harry stories after Anderson. When I had to create a pseudonym for one of my jobs, I chose "Brian Anderson". I am huge fan of the play "Harvey" because of Anderson. I read Stephen King's "It" because Harry Anderson starred in the television adaptation.

Even though I never met Harry Anderson, I always wished him a happy birthday on social media. Somehow, something I wrote or something I saw always came back to Harry Anderson. Even though he was mostly retired, I will miss his presence. The world of comedy and magic are a little dimmer now. Harry, my hat's off to you.

Here's to ya, here's toward ya, if I hadn't of met ya, I wouldn't'a know'd ya.

Harry Anderson

1952-2018

I am an advocate for reading. I try to get my kids and my students to read when they have nothing else to do. It can be so hard to do that because for a lot of my kids, the only time they read is when it is for a grade which makes reading not fun, work, and, sometimes, punishment. Unlike me, who grew up with books so reading is more fun than work.

I used to read to my son, usually before bed. Because of that, I think he has a decent respect for reading and can do it if he has to. Doesn't mean he wants to but being able to read is a huge step up from a lot of what I see.

Yes, He's the Son of That Taft

The official portraits of former President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama were revealed earlier this week. Their uniqueness is what makes me really appreciate them more. The other official portraits are all roughly the same--the difference being President John F. Kennedy's which shows him with arms crossed and head looking down. These are difference mainly because they were painted by African American painters. Kehinde Wiley painted President Obama while Amy Sherald painted Mrs. Obama.

It will be fun to scroll through the other presidential portraits and come to this one and not seeing the man standing or sitting at a desk in an office or in front of a book case or even in front of American or military flags but in a lush green garden that almost makes the man a secondary object in his own portrait. As for Mrs. Obama's portrait, I can't find the words to describe the grace, dignity, and beauty of Mrs. Obama or that dress.

Thank you all the readers and supporters. Became a Patron here or you can buy me a cup of coffee.

The Taft-Hartley Act, actually the Labor Management Relations Act of 1947, was a bill written by Senator Robert Taft and Rep. Fred Hartley, Jr. It became a law despite President Truman's veto. The law, which is still in effect, was essentially written to strangle the power that unions had. It discouraged strikes, which surged after World War II ended, and prohibited radical leaders from controlling unions. The bill was heavily supported by business lobbyists and was a bipartisan bill which was how Congress was able to override Truman's veto. Efforts to make changes to the law during the Carter and Clinton administrations failed due to Republican opposition and lack of Democratic support.

I'm trying to make the effort of reading more this year. So far I think I'm doing pretty good. Don't think I'll read a book on the Taft-Hartley Act though, not because it sounds boring but because I don't think there's really a book about it. Although the damage it did to worker's right still resonates today.

Do They Only Have the One Chair?

Greg Clarke/The New Yorker

"He knows the genealogies of English kings, the birth names of all five Marx Brothers, the Köchel numbers of the major works of Mozart, the batting averages of the top-ten all-time hitters in both leagues, the differing effects on Superman of the various colors of Kryptonite. He has read every important book, seen every major film, listened to every great symphony. When we listen to classical music in the car, he whistles ostentatiously along with even the most complex and atonal themes. He remembers people’s names, details, and particulars. When examining an anxious young patient, he is able to call not only on large swaths of medical knowledge but on a disarming command of pop-cultural information that helps put both children and their parents at ease: he knows the name of Underdog’s archenemy (Simon Bar Sinister) and of Barbie’s little sister (Skipper); he keeps up with the intricacies of daytime soap operas and baseball box scores.

There is really no point, I have already decided, in even trying to pass myself off as a doctor, a would-be doctor, or a pint-size future version of my father. No matter how hard I try, and this is an assessment my father seems to share, I will never know as much as he does or be as intelligent as he is. “You are a very smart boy,” he has informed me, a few times now, after I came out with some unexpected fact or precocious bit of perception. “Of course, you’ll never be as smart as me,” he always adds, smiling in a way that seems apologetic and mocking at the same time."

Michael Chabon has a new piece in The New Yorker, "The Recipe for Life" about his father. You can read the rest of it here. Chabon's new book of essays Pops: Fatherhood In Pieces, is out in May.

I don't understand the weatherperson's last two panels. The cold will affect you indoors--you may hear creaks, groans, etc. Are they talking about people or the houses? Either way, it's kind of strange.

I'm shocked today's strip isn't about the Super Bowl.

1265: It Probably Started With Getting Pregnant In the First Place

Yeah, Wilberforce is a lost cause. Honestly, the thing you should do now is pack up stuff you absolutely need, run off during the night and change your names, leaving Wilberforce as a ward of the state. I know that seems harsh but it's the best solution for both parties.

1239: I Always Thought Gladys Was the Reader In the Family

My wife and I are part of a book club. We joined it in an effort to make more friends. Mission accomplished but they aren't really friends we hang out with. My wife has her teacher friends to hang out with. I have...no. But I...not that one either. It seems that I have no friends. I'm sad now.

1206: They're Still In School?!

Oh, Facebook, you never seem to disappoint with your users' veiled hint of bigotry.

First, her name is Caitlyn. Continuing to call Caitlyn "Bruce" is akin to me calling you Emily when your name is Alison. For someone who cares about world hunger, maybe you should be more respectful to people by calling them by the name they want. I'm not even going to comment on the incorrect pronoun usage except for this sentence here.

I also think people don't understand how solving world hunger would work. Hint, it would involve deposing numerous tyrannical leaders and basically taking over two continents. Why don't we focus on the hunger we have here which can easily be solved by equality and basic human decency. Lastly, how is our country being run into the ground? If your complaining about the president or Congress or the governors or state legislatures that are duly elected by the people then what are you really upset about? To change that, you would need to change our jingoistic, xenophobic and all-around holier-than-thou attitudes that we have and those are three things that you seem fine with based on your other Facebook posts.

Why do teachers in comic strips always assign summer reading? These kids are not going to be in your class next year. If it's just a suggested list then why does it seem mandatory? This kind of setup may work if these kids attended a one-room schoolhouse or even a consolidated school in the early 20th Century but not in today's modern school system.