Lovin' a New Oven

October 15, 1966

Why is she being ruled ineligible? Is it because she's a girl? I think you could fight that. I know Title IX isn't going to be a thing for six more years, but I think Mary Josephine has a case.

Does she have two names to underscore the facts she's a girl to the readers. "Mary" wasn't quite enough?

You painted the kitchen earlier this year. You were going to get new countertops just last month. Now a new oven? What's going on with the Thornapple kitchen?

Vacation Had to Get Away

September 29, 1966

I want to know how you didn't know someone was in the bathroom. And why are you using such shiny paint? Maybe it's varnish or something for a hardwood floor.

So Brutus, and I'm assuming the rest of the family, went on vacation and we didn't get to see it. Sure, we get a repeat of the damn Keane family and their idiotic vacation to New York City every ten years or so, but God forbid we see the Thornapples taking in the sights of beautiful Muncie, Indiana.

So you want granite countertops? You can just say so. You don't have to make a pun.

September 26, 1966

So when you offend Brutus, he climbs a tree? Not that I'm complaining...it's better than lashing out or something. I'm just wondering how he got up there. He must be pretty good at shimmying up trees.

siiiiiiiiigh...If you need me, I'll be in a tree.

I'd Rather Play at the Park But Sure Let's Learn Some Words

September 15, 1966

I'm terrible at plumbing stuff but I've never had this happen. How would this happen? You know what? I don't need to know. What happens between a man and his plunger is none of my business.

Curiosity is when you don't know if President Trump's name is in the Epstein files but you want them released just so you know who we should go after, if not criminally, civilly. Ignorance is when you don't know if President Trump's name is in the Epstein files so you go to great lengths to cover the files up including offering immunity to the woman who trafficked the victims, point fingers at other people, and just say that the files don't exist. Wait. That's not ignorance. That's called "conspiracy". If Trump isn't in those files, he's certainly behaving like he is.

I hear kids do this all the time. They learn a new word and immediately want to tell their friends about it, and their friends are excited that not only did their friend learn something, their friend now gets to teach them.

Next Window Please

August 19, 1966

Do you pull that out from under the table every time someone comes over? Seems like an inconvenience to do that all the time. I would just have everyone gather around the dining room table. "Brutus made it with the $700 power tools I bought him for his birthday!" "Wow! Brutus made the entire table?!" "No, the little block under this leg that keeps it from being wobbly."

$700 sounds like a lot for 1966.

Well, why didn't you read the signs? This would never happen where I live because driver's licenses are handled by the state while license plates are handled by the county so they wouldn't even be in the same building.

The Last Donut

August 3, 1966

Is it me or is he holding the nail between his fingers? I usually hold the nail with my index finger and thumb thus reducing the strike zone if I miss the nail with the hammer. The grawlix and fancied censored word is spot on though.

Did Brutus get any donuts? From his phrasing it sounds like he didn't. Gladys got out early this morning and just bought donuts for herself. The box looks like it holds, at most, six.

Tuesday Quickies

June 27, 1966

Oof. This is not a good look for you, Quincy. Or anyone. Just cuz she's not hanging on you and is just sitting there doing a cat's cradle...? doesn't mean she's losing interest in you. Can't we just be in the same room and enjoy the silence together?

You're greeting me at the door and immediately throwing this at me? At least let me get my pants off, Gladys.

Is This a "How I Met Your Aunt" Situation?

May 19, 1966

Say it with me: "Women, amirite?" This reminds me of a joke I read in one of those men's magazines. "Before their wedding, a bride gave the groom an amazing blowjob. Talking to his best man, the groom goes 'I just got the best blowjob of my life!' Talking to her bridesmaid, the bride goes 'I just gave the last blowjob of my life!'" Marriage, amirite?

I feel a lot of people didn't know it was Husband Appreciation Day yesterday. I didn't see anything about it except for this comic and a MeTV post about who's your favorite classic TV husband. Gladys isn't on board.

January 4, 1987

I like the guy calling Brutus "Madam". I had a guy do one of these for me one time. I'm not buying your stupid vacuum though. The one I have works fine and didn't cost $2,200. Thanks for getting up that stain though. I feel there's a clause that you don't get the vacuum if there's no power, but maybe not. I'd be more concerned about Brutus forgetting to pay the electric bill.

What is Brutus wearing?

This is a dark Born Loser as Uncle Ted admits he really only tells stories so when his brain has been eaten away by old age, his grandchild can remind him of all his good times. Time marches on and Death comes for all.

Is this what we're losing with the new GoComics?  The throwaway panels are missing. I know they don't need to be seen, hence the name 'throwaway', but I'd expect the company who owns/distributes the comic to be able to show the entire comic. This isn't the shrinking newspaper comics page.

Saturday's post was about the Grote Twins. If you would like to support me or this website, you can leave some money in one of my tip jars.

Personal Worsen-al

October 28, 1986

Wastrel never got a proper education because Mother Gravesite had to work all the time to support Wastrel and any siblings he had. Father Gravesite, if that was even his name, abandoned the family before Wastrel was even born. Instead of going to school, Wastrel would just wander the neighborhood. But, to be fair, Wastrel learned more roaming the streets and alleys of the Kingsbury Run area of Cleveland than he ever would in a school.

It's cool Wastrel is able to go see the eye doctor. This comic must take place right before we started hating the homeless and mentally ill.

I'm not taking a day off to do work around the house, I'm taking a day off to avoid having to work.

Don't get me wrong, I'm spoiled since I get most of the summer off so I can do work around the house during Fall/Winter/Spring/Summer Break. I wonder what Brutus needs to catch up on.

Chang Kim, born in Korea, died in Topeka. Read about Chang Kim's sudden death working for the railroad and when his wife came from Korea to sue. If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

White People

September 14, 1986

Is the same raise Brutus was kicking his telephone over last week? Is Veeblefester standing next to the water cooler like a commoner? That I don't believe.

Mm. I'm torn between Surrender Flag White and Poltergeist White. I'm leaning Poltergeist White, but I would paint my kitchen a nice blue with a vintage-looking tile backsplash. Maybe a blue a little lighter than the sweater Brutus is wearing.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Tuesday Trash

January 12, 1966

I don't even know what to say here. You're both terrible.

Why couldn't you do that? Does Brutus have to do everything around here?

Leaf-ing November

That seems like a massive amount of leaves on the ground. I would just leave them there. Why is Brutus getting so upset? "Oh, Mr. O'Hara doesn't give Hattie chores, huh? Well, we'll see how many chores she does after I burn their goddamn house down! Working makes you a man! Working puts hair on your chest! Working builds character! Working is the only reason to be alive!"

And Hattie may not rake her own leaves, but she will rake the leaves of others. For $10.

For You, Brutus, I'll Charge Double

She's doing labor and therefore should get paid. Your time and energy are worth something. Never undervalue yourself.

Why does she have to be Old Mrs. Twomby? She's probably only 62 or something which is only, like, twelve years older than Brutus. Does her house look haunted? One of my favorite tropes is when all of the houses in the neighborhood are nFormal ranch houses but for some reason there is a 1800s Gothic Revival castle-looking house that has at least three floors and a turret. It's a street of Brady Bunch houses and then BAM! it's the Munsters.

Lazy Saturday Quickie

It's probably fine and can last another week. Everybody stop working. It's Saturday!

Poolside

December 3, 1965

I can only assume that he tested it when done fixing it and the lamp worked fine. Therefore, the problem lies with the outlet, not the lamp.

I can tell you one thing for sure. I did not need to see Wilberforce's weird body today. Or any day. Nobody needs to see that.

Basics? That's Everything!

Since summer started, I haven't been writing as much as I had planned. I had grand schemes to get to work on my next novel and my young adult novel, but it hasn't happened yet. It still might. I don't know. I think I take for granted how inspirational my students can actually be. Also, to be honest, much of my writing is to avoid doing my job. I'm hoping to do better and getting things done over the next month or so before having to go back to work.

But, even though I haven't been doing much writing, doesn't mean there isn't stuff to read if you haven't read them already. The focus this week is on Virgin Mari. Mari is a young woman who likes to have fun. When a mysterious voice tells her she'll die the next time she has sex, Mari attempts to change her lifestyle, but her life may be making a change she didn't expect. (Virgin Mari contains a lot of sex so reader discretion advised.)

I will be taking Monday through Wednesday off to focus on writing and outlining, along with submitting a couple more queries for my novel. I will be back on Thursday, playing catch-up.

March 30, 1986

I'm assuming the sweater doesn't have arm holes. It's hard to tell since the scan came out so dark. Since this comic also was published in March, we're getting into warmer weather where Brutus won't necessarily need a sweater.

He seems really excited in the sixth panel. A little too excited.

Where in all the posts about money does it claim that the Thornapples have enough to remodel the kitchen? I guess they could use the equity in their home or take out a second mortgage. Doesn't seem worth it though.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi. Until Thursday, I remain...

Green Yards of Arnie

November 18, 1965

We're getting our fairy tales crossed today.

This godmother has a wand, but neither wings nor floaty crowny things.

Even green is pushing it for me.

We have vines that grow everywhere that I have to trim and cut back. It's weird how I can completely cut the vines apart, yet they keep growing. Nature cannot be tamed.

Sit Back and Relax

October 28, 1965

Please don't do this. There are plenty of other ways to murder your husband that don't involve endangering other people and first responders. Don't want to burn half the state down.

It's nice that the assisted living facility let Uncle Ted keep his recliner. They're gonna have to shut that singing down though.

Perhaps a Ghost?

October 21, 1965

What is with the hats lately? There's this thing. Tall boy. Tall derby. Porkpie Thing. The Quincy Madison. Tall derby II. And feather in his cap. Today we got Not Quite Tall Boy and Butt Hat. Could the men of 1965 not figure out a standard hat to wear?

That man was fully expecting to get squirted in the face and he has never been so disappointed.

He has been weight-lifting!

I think Brutus just farted really loud coming down the stairs and is trying to lie about where the noise came from. I don't know how he intends to lie about the smell.

Day of Rest

December 17, 1989

I understand how frustrating this would be, but why are you calling Veeblefester? He doesn't want to talk to you and you calling him is weird in the first place. He's your boss. I try my hardest to not have to talk to my boss.

Hey, Gladys. If you aren't going to help with the work, then you don't get to criticize it. There also appears to be five more hours of sun so he has plenty of time to trim those hedges. Or you could do it.

Ugh. Need to replace that picture of Mother Gargle with a picture of Kewpie.

Steven Kraan

It's almost summer which means I won't be getting paid. If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.