In for a Pound

September 20, 1966

At least people like you. Wait. That watling scale (is that what it's really called?) probably says that to everybody.

Why would you make a meatloaf if you don't have enough, you know, meat? It's usually a pound of meat, right, for one meatloaf? You didn't have a pound of ground beef? Why do you have random amounts of beef under a pound just laying around?

I, Personally, Love Money

August 5, 1966

I feel of the three men mentioned here, only La Guardia now deserves a mention. Napoleon wasn't all that great and isn't Nero the guy that just sat around while Rome burned? La Guardia was also the only one actually short and rotund. He was estimated to be about Five foot even or five two. Both Napoleon and Nero were considered average height for their times.

None of these purported important men wore a shirt like that though. That might hold you back a little.

Look, I am all for the important things like friends and family. But never discount the importance of money. Money helps keep a roof over your head and put food in your belly. I wish we didn't have to rely on money, but we do.

It's weird Brutus is bringing this up. First, saying there's more important things than money and then bringing up an example that's only doable because of money. Second, just the phrasing. "There's more important things than money...like a BRAND NEW CAR!" It's just weird.

And if the Thornapples were going to Disney World, we'd have a strip of them leaving and a strip of them coming home with no Disney adventures in between.

Can't Even Let Him Compliment Her Daughter

March 10, 1966

Could a mask fit over that nose? I don't care. I hope he gets away with it. Seems like he will. "Yeah, he's ugly, but I don't think I can describe him."

"That reminds me, speaking of sticking to ribs..." and then Brutus stabs Mother Gargle between the ribs with a knife. I'm glad they locked Wilberforce in his room for dinner tonight so he wouldn't see such violence.

Weigh Your Weight Away

I wrote this post about John Quincy Adams back before the 2016 election. Adams is quite possibly the most qualified person to ever run for president. Sadly, dirty D.C. politics and Andrew Jackson would screw up what could've been a very prominent legacy.

February 22, 1966

Now you might be thinking that the officer will understand and take the dog stealing his hat as a little joke. Ha ha. Right? Well, all cops are bastards so this man will at least get a long lecture about watching where you play with your dog all while using his nightstick to get his point across.

Did the bone knock the hat off? Did the dog jump to take the hat? Was the hat already on the ground? Is the policeman lying dead in an alley?

Ok, but are either of you going to use the bathroom...?

Outdone

I'm glad the dryer didn't ruin the turkey. Although I guess we don't know how the dryer came out.

I am just going to assume that Wilberforce has eaten and is just curled up on the couch relaxing while the adults just stand around for some reason. Pull up a chair! Sit down! I swear, this house does not have enough places to sit!

H a p p y    T h a n k s g i v i n g

Belly Belly Nice

December 29, 1965

I feel like the fault is not on the one-way street. Those things just don't pop up out of nowhere.

For some reason, I don't have an issue with the word 'belly' like I do with 'tummy'. I mean, this is still a weird context for saying 'belly', but at least it's not 'tummy'.

Perhaps a Ghost?

October 21, 1965

What is with the hats lately? There's this thing. Tall boy. Tall derby. Porkpie Thing. The Quincy Madison. Tall derby II. And feather in his cap. Today we got Not Quite Tall Boy and Butt Hat. Could the men of 1965 not figure out a standard hat to wear?

That man was fully expecting to get squirted in the face and he has never been so disappointed.

He has been weight-lifting!

I think Brutus just farted really loud coming down the stairs and is trying to lie about where the noise came from. I don't know how he intends to lie about the smell.

Time to Go Back Home to Erie, Grubby!

October 18, 1965

I guess she's a stowaway now. Time to throw her in the brig. That's a much better place for her than with her daughter and son-in-law when they are supposed to be on their honeymoon.

I'm not on board with this. I don't do body-shaming jokes. Low hanging fruit and it doesn't just insult the person being targeted but everyone with this body type. It's even more frustrating when the person doing the body shaming has essentially the same body type.

Follow me and eventually learn my opinion on "Yo Mama so fat..." jokes.

Friday Quickies

August 30, 1965

This happens a lot...

At least somebody is going to show up and help this guy, because I'm pretty sure the guy in the above link died.

I don't know about you but I absolutely would not wear a shirt that read "XXL".

Weigh Light Saving Time

August 20, 1989

No, she really is a bad sort. She's awful. You can clearly figure out if those are cookies or not. Shake the box. Smell it. Did Mother Gargle make cookies while she was visiting?

At least it seems like the snake sprung out in the privacy of his own office.

Why would you expect that scale to work properly after all the abuse you two have been giving it?

I like the way Brutus thinks sometimes. He doesn't care about his weight. Just live your damn life.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Ugh, They Said 'Tummy' Again

July 19, 1965

As far as know, and I know we've missed a few days here and there, this is the first mention of the name 'Thornapple'. It's a huge milestone. Every July 19, we should celebrate.

Why does this doctor have flasks and beakers and test tubes on his desk. If you are going to go to a doctor with this stuff in his office, you should expect that you are going to unwillingly become part of some freak experiment. This is all on Thornapple, to be honest.

Speaking of Thornapple.....

I was originally thinking this was going to be an age joke, but it instead turned into a fat joke, which I hate more. Not that age jokes are much funnier or appropriate.

This new...whatever Brutus is on here...will not even last a week, I guarantee it.

Jeans Day, Part 2

May 20, 1965

I've never been interested in the Battle of Little Bighorn. It's just never captured my attention like so much other history. Which is probably why I thought it took place in South Dakota when I looked it up. Nope. Montana. Huh.

When I was growing up, some of my favorite comic strips were ones that continued from day-to-day. Calvin floating up into the sky holding onto a balloon, the wacky misadventures of the Patterson family, even watching the Keanes go on road trips was exciting. My local paper didn't carry any of the soap opera strips so the crazy storylines of Rex Morgan, Mary Worth, and even Apartment 3G weren't on my radar back then.

I have a soft spot in my heart for things that end with 'to be continued'. It's that kind of stuff that keeps my attention. Keeps me tuning in. You probably remember the Disney Afternoon series Gargoyles and the 22-part "Avalon" storyline. That kept me tuning in every day after school.

Jeans Day

May 19, 1965

Maybe Harold Fantod is bouncing away because you are chasing him. He sees this as a game. At least those are pretty small holes and will easily be smoothed out. Should really have a construction sign up or some yellow caution tape.

I want to warn everybody that we are entering a two-part Born Loser strip about Brutus still being able to fit into a pair of jeans he wore when he and Gladys started dating. It's a dumb thing to fight about but it's made weird by the fact that Brutus still owns those jeans(!?) and that he didn't come out wearing the jeans. Anyway, here is part one of "Dating Jeans".

I definitely still have jeans from when I first started dating my wife (2008) and I still have jeans from when I first started dating (2000) since it's clear Brutus and Gladys dated shortly after high school or college. Oh, wait. No, I don't, because that's strange.

Chumbo

July 3, 1974

Why should I make her feel welcome? She's here all the damn time!

A rare instance where Mother Gargle is shown eating dinner but Wilberforce is nowhere to be seen.

Oh, good. And there's more Mother Gargle in today's strip.

Or you could just call him by his name and quit being an awful, hateful person. Just a suggestion.

Tubby Tuesday

April 1, 1974

I always thought that snails were called "escargot" because that's what the French call snails. But it's really because that's the sound snails make when they sneeze. I don't know who figured that out but what a legacy!

Interesting that the snails are French (Pierre!) yet acknowledge the sneeze in German.

"My weight's up again. I'm so discouraged! I've done and changed absolutely nothing and I'm not losing weight."

He Hasn't Been Eating Apples Either

Well, Brutus isn't going to see any results. He should've started those exercises a week ago.

I've been walking more and my doctor was very impressed with my results. Being healthier doesn't have to be torture. Or, do what you want. No one is the boss of you.

Hope Brutus Likes Being Hung Up On

How 'bout that Dilbert guy? For those who don't know, Scott Adams, the creator of the popular comic strip, posted an episode of his podcast where he said that Black people were a hate group and that white people should stay away from them. Anyway, Andrews McMeel Universal, the syndicate that distributes and publishes Dilbert has severed their relationship with Adams and that includes Dilbert.

I don't know necessarily what this means but, to me, it means Dilbert will cease being in newspapers and the Dilbert.com website will either be shut down or given to Adams to maintain on his own. We'll see over the course of the next couple weeks to a month as it will take awhile for anything to actually happen. Will Dilbert actually go away? If Adams retains ownership then probably not. Adams could just post the comics on his own website, effectively turning it into a webcomic but, I am not positive, I do think Adams stopped doing the strip years ago and has a staff of people do it for him. Similar to Jim Davis and Garfield. Whether or not he would want to go back to writing and illustrating a daily comic strip or could afford to keep a staff employed to do it for him is entirely up to him. I'm sure he'll make a good decision.

Let's get onto some The Born Loser. Chip will hopefully never say or do anything wrong.

December 6, 1973

The Born Loser: Quantumania. 

Is he real? Is he the reflection? Who knows? He's a ghost!

Again, I don't presume to understand what kind of contracts go down between a tea cozy company and whatever companies they do business with but I'm starting to think the sales tactic is just reading a script like those shady pharmaceutical or insurance companies.

"The Chief gave me the best advice when making a sales call. 'K-I-S-S' Keep it simple, stupid. Great advice. Hurts my feelings every time."

Just Don't

I watched the first two episodes of the Night Court reboot? Revival? Whatever you want to call it. While I don't believe this series is anywhere near or will become the classic the original 1984-1992 series was, it wasn't that bad. Starring Melissa Rauch (The Big Bang Theory) and John Larroquette, Rauch plays Judge Abigail "Abby" Stone, the daughter of former night court judge Harry Stone. Abby is just as optimistic as her father and it's a shame that the court system is just as jaded as it was back in the 80s. I get these are TV shows but still.

Judge Stone persuades former Assistant District Attorney Dan Fielding (Larroquette) to return to the night court as a public defender. He makes it clear that this is only temporary. Larroquette is still adeptly able to play Dan Fielding and his droll wit, yelps, and physical comedy harken back to those original nine seasons. Abby and Dan are joined by ADA Olivia (India de Beaufort), court clerk Neil (Kapir Talwalkar), and bailiff Donna "Gurgs" Gurganous (Lacretta). Apparently, no one has a last name.

The cast is all good. Like I said, this show has potential and my major criticisms could all be washed away in a couple episodes. First, we don't really know the characters. What little we know about them really came from a psychic that was being arraigned shortly after the show began. In the original series, we learned about the characters through the way they talked to each other when discussing the newly appointed judge. And keep in mind that 3 of those 6 characters would be gone by the end of the second season. The other thing is they relied way to heavily on the original series. The pilot was filled with nods and inside jokes from the original series that would pass over the heads of people who aren't familiar with the show. This was tamed down with the second episode but it's strange that the spirit of Judge Harry Stone (or Harry Anderson) hangs so heavy on the series. Again, all that could change next week.

One scene, when Abby was trying to convince Dan to return to the night court and he asks "Why me?" Taking a beat, Abby responds "Because there's no one else." A sad reminder of the passing of both Anderson and Markie Post, who played public defender Christine Sullivan.

I recommend checking this series out (Tuesday at 7PM CST on NBC, streaming next day on Peacock), if only to see how it expands and improves on the original series, which is very outdated in a lot of ways. But I also recommend the original show which you can find on FreeVee.

October 25, 1973

Is Brutus really going to buy clothes from guys that wear those pants? And that tie? The 70s were wild, man!

I'm assuming that it's not really Brutus' job to care about the tea cozy designs, it's just his job to help sell them. You would think that Brutus would've already been yelled at about sharing his opinions and that he would just stop doing that.

Some people never learn...

Did He Do a Fortnite Dance In Front of You As Well?

October 13, 1973

Yeah, that doesn't make you lighter, it just puts all the weight on that one foot. And it wouldn't change anything anyway. Your weight is based on how much gravity is pushing down on you.

Nice boxers, though.

It's "bruh" and quit letting things like this get under your skin, adults. Y'all got so upset when the youths started calling you "boomers" that it really stopped being funny. Throwing tantrums just because you don't understand these young people? Come on, people.

And clearly, Brutus forgets about Classic Wilberforce. There are some older strips I haven't posted here yet that show just how big Wilberforce was for his britches. Today's Wilberforce doesn't hold a candle to old Wilberforce.

To Be Fair, Brutus Did Break a Sweat Lifting His Legs Onto the Ottoman

October 6, 1973

Why is Brutus being so mean to Wilberforce? "That was a stupid bet, you dumb sonuvabitch! This is why you're still a kid--because you're stupid! Now gimme that lovely, shiny dime!"

Gladys is very unimpressed with those ankle weights. And Brutus looks very disappointed that they don't work unless he is moving. Let's be honest, Brutus is never going to get into shape and the sooner he (and everyone else) realizes it, the better off we'll all be.

I feel this is a conversation Chip actually had with his wife.