Oversleep

October 6, 1966

Tulip seems like fun.

If we didn't have that little nose wiggle line in the first panel, Brutus would look dead. Kind of like I commented on before.

We're Not Even Sure Biff Is a Friend

September 21, 1966

That dog, I'm assuming it's a dog anyway, kind of looks like Killer from All Dog Go to Heaven.

That movie had dogs shooting other dogs with
machine guns.

Was the music already playing or did the dog put on the record before dancing with Brutus?

What is wrong with her? Why is she phrasing it like this? "I just heard about Biff Hooper. He has appendicitis. Do you have any questions?" No. Why do I even care? Appendicitis isn't contagious. Appendicitis also isn't all that serious. Get back to me when he has something communicable or terminal.

Resting Scowl Face

September 18, 1966

I don't think bulldogs actually know or understand the purpose of Yale's fight song, but whatever you think will help, I guess. You couldn't just beat the dog with your umbrella or go into one of those doors?

Eli Yale, or Elihu Yale, was the primary benefactor for Yale University, for those that don't know. I even had to look up what the hell is Bulldog thing was about.

Brutus knows you aren't supposed to tell women to smile anymore, right? Now Mother Gargle has even more of a reason to be a complete menace to him. He's tired of scowling now, just wait, it'll get even worse now. Brutus will wish he were dead.

Worst Independence Day Ever

It's a sad day in the history of your country when fucking Hi & Lois shows more fight and backbone than a majority of the people actually elected to fight and show backbone. This is a legacy strip, it's only goal is to stay the course, not ruffle feathers, and give readers a light chuckle (not a guarantee). Not upset the populace by suggesting that we might have to fight a tyrannical ruler again.

And look at their faces, with the exception of Trixie, the Flagstons absolutely know that fascism is here, several of their neighbors are Nazis and nothing set up to keep this from happening is going to work. Dot's thrilled to start fighting though.

August 23, 1966

Just to the front door? I would think you could make it to the mailbox or the street (whichever is further). Maybe the bathroom is further away. I could definitely make it to the street with toothpaste at my house.

It's amazing how the Fourth of July turns people into inconsiderate scofflaws. "Hey, my dog gets anxious with fireworks, can you go easy this year?" I'll make sure to point the loud ones at your house. "The neighbor down the street is a veteran with PTSD." Then he should understand that he fought for my right to shoot off loud noise makers. "Why are people shooting off fireworks? It's June 29th." It's our right and perfectly legal. All within the law (law says no fireworks until July 3 and 4). "Our city is thinking about banning fireworks." I'll still shoot them off. It's my right.

You're all jerks!

Another Dollar Lost

Before we get started on today's Born Loser strips, just pointing out that summer is among us so I am out of work for the next couple of months. If you enjoy what pops up here, you can click on the Support link at the top of the page and support me or the website.

If you didn't see, there's a new post about my arch-nemesis, Capt. Kid. He says he knows famous actress Not Rita Hayworth because he's a liar and needs to seek therapy.

February 15, 1987

If this happened today, Brutus would've been beaten by the other restaurant patrons and arrested. Ha ha. We're living in a terrible timeline.

And Brutus, you're fine. No need to be embarrassed or worried. No need to make a federal case out of going into the wrong bathroom. It's 1987, not 2025.

"He says whatever I tell him to say." "I was with Hurricane Hattie at whatever time you say the crime happened. You can't pin this on her, pigs!"

You taught Kewpie to talk? You were only gone 15 minutes.

Water, Water Nowhere

June 28, 1966

Abner's name here is Doodle? Ok. Floobush is a name. Floobush--it's a funny sounding last name. Ha ha. Doodle isn't a name. It's especially not a funny last name. It's nothing. Abner Doodle? No, thank you.

And we're supposed to believe that's a sheep?

Wilberforce, at school: "My mom goes around the house and fake waters the plants. The plants aren't real and there's no water, but that's what she does. It's sad watching Mom slip away from us, but it makes her happy. Keep watering those plants, Mom. You just keep watering them..."

My Afternoon With Hattie

June 21, 1966

Honestly, I feel you could just connect these panels and call it good.

See? That looks fine.

I've never been a fan of dog whistle jokes. I don't think they are/were as prevalent as movies, TV, and old cartoons lead us to believe.

Yes. My answer would have to be yes.

I don't know. I think Hurricane Hattie would be a fun daughter to have. I've always wanted a daughter so I'm going to grab any opportunity to be a loving father figure to Hurricane-esque girls.

Dog's Day

May 6, 1966

Wouldn't she then be a princess if she marries the frog? Maybe he's a frog prince and not a prince who was turned into a frog. Perhaps true love's kiss won't turn this frog back into a human.

I can't imagine any royal family being fine with an interspecies relationship so it probably wouldn't work out anyway.

My dogs absolutely love/hate the trash men. They get a clear view of them as they go through the alley and I can't ever tell if they are upset that they can see the trash men or upset that the trash men are stealing our trash.

Hair-Brained

May 4, 1966

I don't think there's ever been a time where people wanted to hear criticism of how they do things. Especially when you are the one in charge. I don't know why people they would know better than Birdie Tebbets, whose life was baseball for 30 years. Yes, George "Birdie" Tebbets was a real person! He was a catcher who was very good at directing the pitchers. Tebbets played from 1936 until 1952 and then managed from 1954 until 1966. I don't know, maybe what this guy said sunk it considering Tebbets would retire from the Cleveland Indians after the 1966 season. He would continue being a scout for various teams until his retirement in 1997. Birdie Tebbets would pass away in 1999 at 86.

I guess we're just ignoring all of Kewpie's fur that is on his head and focusing on the two longer hairs that I always figured were oddly placed eyelashes/eyebrows.

Why are they just staring at Kewpie?

Wednesday Quickies

April 23, 1966

Whistling is one thing. You taught him to wolf whistle? That's the one kind of whistling I would not teach a dog.

He at least seems apologetic about it.

Laid back doesn't mean 'tired'.

Boy Loves Dog

April 20, 1966

I don't know what that one scientist guy is saying (I only recognize the word 'Thornapple'), but I at least get the gist of the comic. I'm hoping this is some sort of new perfume although I don't think perfume are made in test tubes and beakers. But, maybe!

Kewpie will be long dead by the time Wilberforce is a man.

I originally thought Wilberforce was going to give Kewpie a treat, but he was just going in for a scratch of the chin. I bet Kewpie wishes it was a treat though.

Bloodhound Gang

October 19, 1986

I'm assuming there is cash in the safe if Mother Gargle needs cash for...something...I guess if the furnace goes out or Wilberforce is kidnapped.

Mother Gargle steals from her daughter and son-in-law. What a good person.

Holy shit, enough about Rusty and Blue.

A "chow hound" is a cross between chow-chows and basset hounds. Kewpie is not that either.

Check out Saturday's post on local confectioner Charles Junod. If you would like to support me or the website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Lucky? Really? $5 Salisbury Steak?

March 15, 1966

We're all familiar with Clifford, the Big Red Dog, who debuted just three years before this strip. Inspired by that friendly, lovable dog, Art introduced Hogarth, the Vicious Giant Dog. I mean, I'd buy those books.

Seems to me that Brutus still gets the salisbury steak, unless you want to, I don't know, I'm just spitballing here, fight to the death. Survivor gets the salisbury steak.

Weigh Your Weight Away

I wrote this post about John Quincy Adams back before the 2016 election. Adams is quite possibly the most qualified person to ever run for president. Sadly, dirty D.C. politics and Andrew Jackson would screw up what could've been a very prominent legacy.

February 22, 1966

Now you might be thinking that the officer will understand and take the dog stealing his hat as a little joke. Ha ha. Right? Well, all cops are bastards so this man will at least get a long lecture about watching where you play with your dog all while using his nightstick to get his point across.

Did the bone knock the hat off? Did the dog jump to take the hat? Was the hat already on the ground? Is the policeman lying dead in an alley?

Ok, but are either of you going to use the bathroom...?

Drama-Free Dog

December 18, 1965

More crime in these early strips! There are only two constants in these early strips: Crime and death.

Can none of these people who get overpowered and tied up fight back? There's a couple where it's possible they were asleep. This guy was at work!

July 27, 2024

Two strips in a row talking about smoke detectors going off.

DINNER BELL!?!? Who still rings a dinner bell to announce it's time for dinner? It is 2024 for goodness sake.

Kewpie seems like my kind of dog. Rarely barks, doesn't try to jump over the fence in order to eat the neighbors, lazy, genderqueer/non-binary.

Is Uncle Ted over at Brutus' or did Brutus take Kewpie to Uncle Ted's?

Bathe Your Children!!

December 6, 1965

Someone's getting probed tonight! Lucky bastard.

All that for $40!? That is a great deal!

We had to shave our long-haired cat yesterday because he had a couple lumps that we couldn't brush out and they were really bothering him. It was definitely not $40.

You can't get Wilberforce to take a bath?

Dine-flation

October 23, 1965

I thought it was pretty common knowledge that dog whistles are silent except to dogs. I think I learned that while watching Tom and Jerry or something. Maybe these boys are just idiots. I don't know.

So after just three cups, you might as well just go to Starbucks.

Brutus' smile got really big in the second panel. Is $2.29 a good price for an initial cup of coffee? I don't know. I typically get chocolate milk when I splurge and go to diners to eat. And you certainly aren't getting free refills on that.

Only 9 Players?

October 19, 1965

Was Alvin smoking the pipe and then quickly shoved the pipe into the dog's mouth to blame it? That dog does not look like he enjoys smoking.

It doesn't matter which order Wilberforce is in, he's still going to suck.

Garbage Week

I have been going back and forth on how I want to continue handling this website. Readership is fine, but I feel it could be better. My posts of links are buried on Threads and I have very few followers on my other social media sites. While I still enjoy doing this, I'm not sure if it's something that I should keep doing. "If you like doing it, then you should keep going," I hear you say. But if I'm just commenting into the air, then what's the point?

I'll finish out the month and figure out what to do. Maybe I'll keep doing this. Maybe I'll just post on social media. Maybe I'll stop doing this altogether and just focus on my writing. Whatever. In the meantime, you can read about one of my favorite Superman storylines where Brainiac puts Superman's mind into the brain of a kid in a mental facility.

October 9, 1965

Another person stuck in the rain? And it's to talk to your dog? Who's there with your dog, holding the phone to its ear? Or is the dog in the phone booth with this guy? That just raises even more questions!

"Tomorrow is another day"? Is that some sort of perverse threat? I've complained on social media recently, but I am not handling 2024 very well. It's been a rough year for a number of reasons. Maybe I'll talk about it at some point. That picture of Wilberforce isn't helping...

The Good Sofa?

September 21, 1965

Just based on his hair and jawline, I don't think this guy will be any better for Nancy than her current fiancée. Lateral move, honestly.

Isn't that watercooler just a water fountain?

We keep our dogs off the furniture as well. Our boy dog is fine with it, but our girl dog will sneak onto the couch when no one is looking. She also begrudginly gets off when we tell her but she definitely doesn't look like she's going to burn the house down while we sleep.