A Drum Minor

Let's get back to Captain Kid. From Comic Comics #6, September 1946. I don't understand Capt. Kid's deal. What were creators thinking when they created him? Did they have a deadline to create a certain number of characters and were just like "annoying piece of shit who's not good at anything...and he's dressed stupid"?

Today, Capt. Kid says he's a drum major. I'm sure he'll fail.

🠜 If Capt. Kid can't swim then why was he on the water. In a small boat. Alone? It's a shame Jetsam Joe will drown along side Capt. Kid. Jetsam Joe doesn't deserve that.

I hope whatever Pudgy is going to spit at Capt. Kid shatters his skull and kills him.

Why can't Capt. Kid wear normal clothes? Everyone else is! I'm not a dress code guy, but I would definitely send Capt. Kid home and tell him not to come back until we can't see his nipples anymore. And we will see them a lot in this story.

I love how Mr. Whoever-This-Is just ignores Capt. Kid. I'm sure a lot of adults do that.

Can the rest of the comic just be this black-and-white film focused on a drum major?

*satisfied sigh* Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff.

"Here's a book so that you can practice doing something you've never done before in your life."
"Throw it out!"

Mr. Whoever-This-Is should ask for a backup. Surely he can find or buy another baton, and Capt. Kid threw the instruction book away.

*mutters and grumbles* ...shove that baton somewhere...

Ha ha! Let's see that again...

I'm not a drum major, never played a drum--or any instrument--or did anything with a baton, but I do know that if you have to run after your baton, you threw it wrong.

Ha ha! Get wrecked, dork!

Get that out of my face!

Quick! Someone toss a stool where his head is going to fall!

He's not going to hurt himself falling onto the vague yellow void.

I don't think this magnet thing is going to work. Actually, it will probably work, even though it shouldn't.

He better be or this is going to be a crappy parade. At least the drummers will be good. We can just ignore whatever Capt. Kid is doing.

He can't just bend over and pick it back up? This kid is a failure in everything.

Do the thing, Capt. Kid...

Ha ha! Get wrecked, dork!

OH MY GOD! He's getting trampled by the drumline! Capt. Kid has failed and wasn't rescued by dumb luck! 🥳💃🎈🎉

Superman & Batman in "Skeeter!"

In the post-Crisis continuity, Superman didn't meet Batman until Man of Steel #3 (1986) and they weren't exactly the best of friends. I feel they had some respect for each other but since their fighting styles were so different, neither quite trusted each other. That would later change as the stories continued.

I've always been a fan of comic book annuals and specials because they can tell a longer story and not really have to fit within the current continuity. Even if I'm not reading the regular monthly titles, I may pick up an annual or special here or there. You can read my old look at the Superman Special from 1992 here.

In 1986, John Byrne rebooted Superman. There were three annuals for that year, one for each of the ongoing Superman titles. Superman Annual #1 by John Byrne, Ron Frenz, and Brett Breeding featuring Titano; The Adventures of Superman Annual #1 by Jim Starlin, Dan Jurgens, and Steve Montano that introduced Hfuhruhurr; and Action Comics Annual #1 by John Byrne, Arthur Adams, and Dick Giordano which has Batman and Superman taking on a small town overrun with a vampire. I've always been interested in this story but had never read it. The idea of child vampires has always intrigued me even though most stories about vampires, to me, are all poorly written. Anyway, thanks to Superman: The Man of Steel Volume 6 which reprints the three 1987 annuals, I am finally able to read it. Skeeter is a young girl who is a vampire. She lives in a small town who are finally fed up with her family. Skeeter then decides to embrace her vampiric ways which bring Batman and Superman into it.

A young girl, Skeeter, is being chased through a swamp by a bunch of townspeople with torches and pitchforks. We don't know her deal yet, but it can't be good if torches and pitchforks are involved. I've never understood the oversexualized take on Skeeter when I see images from this issue, because she never uses it, but whatever. I've also never understood the Mr. Peanut shirt--and it's the only thing she wears!

Skeeter is able to ditch the townspeople and returns to her dilapidated home where she laments leaving for the big city. Apparently when she returned, her mother and father were dead and she blames the townsfolk for it.

Three days later, a stranger rides into town. Well, two strangers--a Ms. Carson and a man who gets a bite to eat and a hotel room. Turns out, it's Batman in disguise. What's he doing here?

He notices that the locals are walking in pairs or in groups and wonder what is going on when the quiet is broken by a woman's scream. Batman rushes to an alley and sees Ms. Carson lying in the trash with her throat ripped out and blood drained. Just like in Gotham. A bunch of townspeople surround him in the alley and Batman has to use a smoke grenade to escape. Batman flashes back to Gotham where Batman witnessed the same thing and taps into the town's phone line to get a message to Superman.

As Batman comes down from the telephone pole, Skeeter approaches him. Skeeter is glad to see him and even hugs him. Batman is, as he should be, very confused.

Superman arrives in town and discovers that people are still awake, walking the streets, even children, despite it being four in the morning. Superman decides to make his first stop at the sheriff's office. The sheriff is very happy to see Superman. Meanwhile, Skeeter is leading Batman through the swamp, back to her house. Skeeter introduces Batman to her dead parents and is glad he can help them. Batman exclaims "Good Lord!" and Skeeter becomes afraid of him and his exclamation of "Lord".

Elsewhere, the sheriff takes Superman to the hospital to show Superman what has been going on in their town. The sheriff leads Superman to a wing that is padlocked and boarded up with armed guards. He opens the door for Superman and he is stunned by what he see.

Back with Skeeter, since Batman isn't who she thought he was, she begins to do something to him. Fearing being around Skeeter much longer, Batman crashes through the window and sinks into the quicksand outside the house. Since no one is going to help her, Skeeter decides to help on her own.

Back at the hospital, a loud noise comes from the secure hospital wing and everyone has broken out. Superman rushes off to do what he can while the sheriff calls the National Guard. The escapees are causing general terror around town but not hurting anyone. Superman uses his super speed to try to capture the escapees and contain them. With the vampiric townspeople no longer a problem, Skeeter makes her presence known, ready for a battle with Superman.

Skeeter, real name Elly Mae Skaggs as we learn, attacks Superman and slashes his chest, because she's supernatural and Superman is vulnerable to supernatural things. Clearly Skeeter is trying to hypnotize Superman to join her. She is just about to sink her teeth into Superman's neck when a wooden stake comes piercing through her chest from behind. Batman is back, having survived the quicksand, and Skeeter shrivels into dust and dies. Superman thanks Batman and I guess all the townspeople return to normal?

Back in Gotham City, they are exhuming the people killed by Skeeter. Batman explains to Commissioner Gordon that Skeeter was born back in 1865 and that she and her parents became vampires over a hundred years ago. But it's not over yet, Batman still has to pound wooden stakes into the hearts of the deceased before night falls.

Who turned Skeeter and her parents into vampires? Should we be concerned about him? How did Skeeter's parents die? It's alluded that the townspeople did something, but it's not clear. Expose them to sunlight?

Oddly, vampires would become kind of a regular villain for Superman during this period. Superman and Robin would team up in the summer of 1992 to battle vampires. Superman and Jimmy will also come into contact with vampires in early 1995. I guess because vampires are an actual threat to Superman.

Firehair!

Firehair!, or Lynn Cabot if you're nasty, made her debut in Rangers Comics #21 (Feb. 1945). The comic was published by one of Fiction House's many subsidiaries. Rangers Comics was an anthology that featured the U.S. Rangers, a ragtag group of "best specimens of American youths" recruited by the FBI.

Firehair was created by John Starr, a pen name for John Mitchell (1900-?), who wrote many western-themed comics during the Golden Age, and Lee Elias (1920-1998) who was a stalwart artist for Fiction House, Harvey, and DC from 1943 until 1980, mainly focusing on western, war, and horror comics.

Firehair was originally Princess Smith. I'm not positive if she was a princess or if Princess is her name. I think it's her name. It doesn't matter because she would be renamed to the aforementioned Lynn Cabot in issue #24.

Firehair would make her last appearance in Rangers Comics #65 in 1952. Ironically, her last appearance would feature art taken from Rangers Comics #30 from 1946 being reused to tell an all new story.

Did wealthy people really arrive in the West looking like this? "I'm here to start a new life! Where's the rich neighborhood? I brought a pan, where's the gold to scoop up?"

You at least don't stand out or draw attention to yourself.

I know she's using 'queer' in the 'weird' sense but I could see Firehair being a bisexual icon.

A new name? A new country? Are they running from something? That's the only reason you'd move out West and change your name. What crimes were committed in Boston?

I don't think the mules are going to help you find a man. That's not really their thing.

🎵Mule train, mule train

Clippity clopping over hill and plain

Seems as how they'll never stop

Clippity clop, clippity clop

Clippity, clippity, clippity, clippity

Clippity clopping along

There's a plug of chaw tobaccy for a rancher in Corona

A guitar for a cowboy way out in Arizona

A dress of calico for a pretty Navajo

Get along mule, get along🎶

What the hell does that mean?

Hey, Dad, watch the hands.

Wait. You brought what you are running from with you? I'm sure this will be explained later...

What's this guy smoking? I think I know what he's saying, but I'm being more than generous.

The writer is trying to be artistic with his words, but it's really just coming off as weird.

It's one thing to paint stuff on your face trying to look like a Native American, but it's really another level to paint your entire body to look like a Native. That's commitment. Commitment to the bit and to the outstanding amount of racism.

"We haven't had any trouble on this trip, have we?" "No. That's never happened before." Cool. That's what I want to hear when I'm travelling.

I don't like that the local Natives are helping these white people with this. But I guess if the other option is being slaughtered, then I understand.

Sure, your dad can help you. Let him just pull that arrow out of his chest, fix his bones that were crushed by the mules and wagon, and climb back into the wagon.

Everyone had to die so that Firehair could live.

Ok. That's enough. Just pillage the wagon and move on. You don't need to comment on her looks.

"...a hidden watcher comes alive..." "I'm going to be blamed for this, aren't I?" he asks himself.

"I walked through the desert with a girl-with-no-name..."

I would've brought her with me, too. It's not a good look to just leave a dying person if you truly have the ability to save them.

Oh, hey. He really does have two horns.

"The mules...The mules! Daddy! Bones breaking. Flesh tearing...!"

Judgement drums? That sounds made up. Haunting, but made up.

"We are going to be blamed for the slaughter of these white people so we should kill this other white person." I don't think that's a good idea. She's here and alive so is proof that maybe you didn't do those crimes.

What the hell is going on? "My knife defends the claim!"? Ok.

"His knife has spoken..." as he casually gestures to the knife thrown into the ground. I'm going to start doing this at meetings. I'm going to make a passionate declaration and then throw a knife in the ground and walk off like this with my arms raised to the heavens.

This kind of ended abruptly. Let's see how Rangers Comics no. 22 starts out.

Ok. Now Firehair looks younger. I thought she was in her 20s but is she a teenager?

"Babble like a fat papoose"? Don't all papooses babble? Because they are babies/children?

The white person has saved the tribe. It's a tale as old as time. And let me guess, she is better at being a Native American than the Native Americans, right?

Is this how Firehair (and the other women of the tribe) spend their day? Fighting with each other? Ladies, ladies. You're both good archers.

This white woman is far better than any of our women. She should beat all of them up.

Blaze-Face? You mean a bear? Does she not know what a bear is? Do these Natives not know what a bear is? I get they'd have their own name for it, more than likely, but Little Ax is acting like he's never seen a bear before.

What? They were looking at horses? I thought she thought a bear was just a big, furry horse.

You can't tame him! He's wild!

Is she going to tackle and fight a bear now?

Okay...

You've been calling this horse Blaze-Face for how long, but now you're going to call him Devil-Eye?

You'll never tame him. He's wild. (She's totally going to tame him, right?)

I'm growing bored by this. Firehair essentially trains Devil-Eye by the next full moon, whenever that's supposed to be. Meanwhile, the group of men who slaughtered the mule train she was with are planning another raid.

It's not really clear what the white men are trying to do. They mention all the stuff the various tribes have made and the large collection of horses. The tribes are apparently all getting together for their warrior races or whatever because it means no one will be guarding anything and all the good fighters will be distracted. Easy pickens.

Firehair has to stay back with the other women so she is able to fight back, but most of the marauders are able to escape.

Blackie...I think that's his name... is clearly plotting revenge because as long as Firehair is alive, Blackie and his gang are in danger.

Maybe his name is Fingers...

I appreciate the soap opera like continuity, but this is where I'm stopping. If you would like to read more Firehair, you can at the Digital Comics Museum.