In for a Pound

September 20, 1966

At least people like you. Wait. That watling scale (is that what it's really called?) probably says that to everybody.

Why would you make a meatloaf if you don't have enough, you know, meat? It's usually a pound of meat, right, for one meatloaf? You didn't have a pound of ground beef? Why do you have random amounts of beef under a pound just laying around?

At Least It's In a Vase

January 25, 1987

Why does Brutus look like he's really pulling one over on her and getting a bargain in the fifth panel? She's a businesswoman and probably kind of a sleazy one. Well, not sleazy, just looking out for number one.

I like the veil. Adds a layer of mystery that kind of makes the $25 worth it.

Ooh, a dandelion from your own yard. Yes, very thoughtful.

There actually is a Children's Day. It's an international holiday usually used to bring causes that highlight child welfare across the world to light. This year, in the United States, it is on June 8. Hopefully there are still dandelions around to give to Wilberforce that day.

A brief history of the Heber Institute posted yesterday. If you would like to support me or this website, you can click on the Support page.

Sources Say 'No'

February 25, 1966

The Bonnie Banks o' Loch Lomond is a Scottish folk song attributed to the Jacobite rising back in 1745. You may recognize it from a season eight episode of The Office. What you all may remember if you watched old cartoons and sitcoms is from the chorus: "O ye'll tak' the high road, and I'll tak' the low road, And I'll be in Scotland afore ye." That's where the good stuff is.

Are these two men trying to take a romantic gondola ride?

She is really leaning into that crystal ball. If my fortune teller had to look that hard to see my future, I'd ask for my money back.

The Stars Are Aligned for You--Although They Have All Burned Out

Honestly, Brutus should just carry a Magic 8-Ball with him. I bet it's more accurate, and I feel bad news sounds better coming from it. Outlook not so good. Don't count on it. My reply is no. See? It all sounds better. "Magic 8-Ball? Will my life finally emerge from the dark pit it's been in for the last four years?" Reply hazy, try again.

Anyway, to be continued...?

I'm More of a Tarot Man Myself

A box of fortune cookies (400 of 'em!) costs $36 on Amazon so if that's the size of the box Brutus will get then that's a good deal.

I've been to a fortune teller, nor do I know where one would be. Do some of them still dress like gypsies Romani stereotypes? I feel that's something we can stop doing. We know she's a fortune teller. She has a crystal ball.

Sees Some, Knows Less

March 15, 1975

Why is Brutus staring out of the window? Was he already lamenting the many never-was loves that could've been in his life? Or maybe there are two squirrels chasing each other in the yard. That's always fun to watch.

Is this $20 on top of the $50 you already charge? I've never been to a fortune teller but that sounds expensive.

Give Her Time? No One Has That Kind of Time.

November 14, 1974

I can't believe that Veeblefester is indulging Brutus wanting to get his fortune told and not making fun of him for wasting his money on this stuff.

"This is why you never get a raise, because you just waste your money on scammers and hucksters."

Let's be fair, she's not having a mood swing, she's just making fun of you and treating you like trash. She's been a delight to Gladys and Wilberforce.

He Paid Money For This

Brutus is going to go to jail. Veeblefester puts Brutus' name on all of the shady business and financial dealings the Veeblefester Tea Cozy Company makes.

Companies have learned from Enron and it's the only way to explain how Brutus is so high up in the company.

1294: Those Are Called Fetishists

Seems like a waste of money to me but whatever helps you get through the day. It is interesting that Mother Gargle is treating the palmist (really? Palmist?) like she would if she was going to the eye doctor or the ear, nose and throat doctor.

1272: Anything Should Be Better Than Brutus' Future

There's nothing better than a good episode of "I Love Lucy" but I realized something when I was watching the reruns on the Hallmark Channel a few years ago.

First, the communication between Lucy and Ricky is terrible. Many of their hijinks could be solved by just talking to each other or telling the truth. Second, it seems so loud. Is Lucy's voice always so shrill?

Eh, I'm more of a Fred and Ethel fan anyway.

Madame Claire Voyant

I had several dreams last night which harkened me back to the good ol' days of my late teens where I had good friends and a really good job. It's really sad that a job I had ten years ago is still considered the best job I've ever had. Second best if "stay-at-home dad/freelance blogger" counts as a job despite not getting paid.

I had a friend who went to a psychic when she was 17 or something like that and the psychic said that she would a young mother. She would have her first child at age 20 so I don't know what to consider that. I guess anything under 21 would be "young" but I don't know. Hopefully this fortune teller won't tell Brutus he will be a young mother.

At the Dirt Mall

Like most Americans right now, the Thornapples are living paycheck to paycheck unsure about whether the tea cozy industry is healthy or in need of a bail out but it's good to know that Brutus has enough money to waste on a fortune teller. If you're going to waste money on a fortune teller you could at least be a topless fortune teller with three nipples.

Next Strip: Palm Reader

I saw the words "crystal ball" and immediately wanted to vomit. I did roll my eyes though. I'd believe a fortune cookie before I'd believe a fortune teller.

I've only known one person to go to a fortune teller and the woman was fairly accurate. My friend was told that she would be a young mother and sure enough, she got pregnant at age 20. Now I know an unwed pregnancy isn't anything amazing but still, you have to stop and think about that. I just don't want to pay the $40 for a twenty minute session.