Thirsty for Something Sweet

August 11, 1966

I think we should start doing this to anti-vaxxers. "I don't want to get no jab!" Oh, because the needle scares you? "No, because it's a gubmint conspiracy to give us autism and control us!" I just look away, it's a little prick, and you move on with your life. "But then you get the 'tism and never contribute to society!" Not true, but that's better than getting sick with a completely curable disease🤷.

That looks like a really long needle and the doctor does look kind of psychotic.

Ha! Kids! For some reason they don't want a glass of slightly colder than room temperature water with no ice. Go figure.

Maybe Brutus has some juice or something. There's a bag of sugar on top of the fridge.

🎵I'm Free from Your Spell🎶Oh, Free, Free, Free Now, Baby🎵

February 7, 1966

I appreciate this kid's entrepreneurship. Most people I know drink iced coffee in the winter so cold lemonade in the winter is nothing surprising. We drink lots of cold stuff in the winter. I don't know why that one girl is acting so snooty, but we'll show her. We'll show her *slowly shakes fists*

I looked up that "fickle, fickle" thing at the beginning. I found nothing. I guess Art came up with it himself.

Mother Gargle sucks. I know it. Brutus knows it. You even know it! Let her stay in Erie where she belongs.

Watch we'll see Mother Gargle again within the next two weeks. You are never truly free from Mother Gargle.

A Day Without Coffee Is Like...

October 14, 1965

As someone who was tall, it was expected that I liked playing basketball and was good at it. I absolutely do not and am not. I made several kids upset at me during gym in school, but I'm not a sports guy. I enjoy dorkier pursuits.

What is this cabbage stuffed with? Dog poo and knives? I see that the cabbage is normally stuffed with beef and rice. I don't know. I'm not a fan of cabbage. Can we shove the beef and rice inside of iceberg lettuce?

Never heard anyone say this before. Is Chip phoning it in this week? That would explain why yesterday's strip was a repeat from 2019.

Christmas End

March 6, 1989

I wish someone would make me a cup of cocoa before bed. A lot of times I have a small glass of chocolate milk but a nice warm mug of hot cocoa would be nice. You don't need to put anything in it. I don't need to be dead to the world for 36 hours.

They can mention each other but neither the twain shall meet, or whatever.

Do you get the book of the year of 2023 to read in 2024 or does the subscription actually begin in December 2024?

Have You Not Seen the News, Brutus?

January 6, 1977

It's just a tonsillectomy, Doc. It's not a life-or-death operation. Dr. Kevin Malone here seems overly concerned about this. If her tonsils didn't bother her when she was a child, then why would she have them out?

2032 is apparently already here in the Born Loser-Verse. This is the America Democrats want. Thanks, Obama.

Early Lunch

August 5, 1974

If Brutus didn't want her to have his lemonade, he shouldn't have offered. There's no marriage rule that says you have to share. Was all marriage humor prior to 1994 just based on hating your spouse? After 1994, the humor came from average looking husband with a really beautiful wife.

It is. Just don't expect to get a second lunch break at your normal time, Brutus.

He brought his lunch today so he is capable of not eating at the diner all the damn time. He just chooses not to.

Nuts to Milk

September 18, 1972

Even if Brutus knew it was treasure chest filled with gold, how is he supposed to get it out of the water? What's he going to do? Figure out a way to remember where he was? Go back to shore? Learn how to scuba? Rent scuba equipment? Dive down to the bottom of the lake/gulf/ocean? Then what? Fail at lifting the chest? Swim back up to the surface? Return to shore? Rent a boat that has a hook on it? At this point, he's spending too much money and now having to share the gold with people. He's better off believing he snagged a log.

I love almond milk. I know how bad it is for the environment so I never drink it anymore. Although I'm seeing that cow's milk uses more water and more cow's milk is produced than almond milk so now I don't know what to do.

Is Gladys going to pour herself a glass of almond milk or did she just set the carton on the counter for no reason?

Love That the Jar Makes an Appearance

March 20, 1974

I think I've talked about this before but why does Gladys make something that Brutus doesn't like? Why make a shepherd's pie if no one likes it? I don't know, I guess I just bothered that Gladys, and really anybody that insists on making or ordering food that people don't like, would do this.

It's good to know that Brutus and Gladys have been denying Wilberforce dinner since at least 1974.

It came out a few years ago that you shouldn't make sun tea out in the sun anymore. It becomes a breeding ground for bacteria. Apparently, it's slightly better if you use glass but it can still be harmful. I'm sure there are still plenty of people that leave a pitcher or jar of water and tea bags on their porch in the sun though.

Years ago, a bottle of water rolled under my bed. It was under there for several months before I finally cleaned under my bed and fished it out. It had so much stuff floating in it. Moldy bits, flecks of something, something that looked like this:

Thirsty Boy

Seems strange they only have pop and tap water. The Thornapples--basically in keeping with the fuzzy timeline that the comic straddles where it's both somehow the 1960s and the 21st Century--should have some sort of powdered juice in there and maybe some tea. I'm not saying Wilberforce would want those but they aren't water.

It's Been Sitting in the Pot All Day

I always read today's strip before uploading and posting it with commentary just to verify that I am indeed wasting my life but it wasn't until I started writing this that I noticed that Veeblefester is slumming it with Brutus at their nearby local coffee dive. The 1% are just like us everybody.

While I would prefer cream and sugar in my coffee I will drink it black and strong. Depending on the kind of flavor, the stronger the better but not in a sissy way like Brutus here.

1296: Red, Red Wine

...

Oh, I get it. He had a decline in memory shortly after mentioning that drinking red wine could prevent a decline in memory. Had to think about it today. It's not my fault, I'm writing this at 12:30 in the morning.

1264: Solid Business Plan

1. Make terrible strawberry lemonade

2. Offer free refills for it

3. People buy the lemonade, hate it, don't want refill

4. Profit

1258/10: Colossus Comics

Sun Publications was a pulp publisher started in 1912 by Arthur Gontier, Sr. Sun Publications is known mainly for publishing early work by Louis L'Amour. After being raided for possessing and distributing obscene material (pin-ups used their pulps), Gontier decided to publish historical fiction magazines and comic books. Their first comic endeavor was Sun Fun Komiks which lasted one issue.

Not much exists of Sun Fun Komiks but there are a couple notable things that happen in the comic. The feature "Supersam" is the first parody of Superman and this comic apparently features the first appearance of Adolf Hitler (seen above). The entire comic is just a parody of comic books which may be why it didn't do very well. The cost of 15 cents may have also deterred potential buyers when all other more popular comics cost 10 cents.

Gontier tried again a few months later, sticking to the formula all the other comic book publishers were doing introducing an anthology series featuring a cacophony of different stories. Despite doing what the other publishers were doing including the 10 cent cover price, Colossus Comics only lasted one issue as well but it also spelled the end of Sun Publications.

The main feature of Colossus Comics was Colossus, an anti-hero who was a normal man who was given a serum that caused him to grow big and strong.

scans courtesy The Digital Comic Museum

The other stories in the comic were Lucky Lucifer, an aviation series, Tulpa of Tsang, a series that used the mystic of Chinese magic, Lum Sims, a comic similar to the comic strip Li'l Abner, and Blond Garth, a Tarzan-esque comic about a white man becoming a god to native islanders. Blond Garth was drawn by Jay Jackson, a black man who would later work on comic strips for black newspapers in Chicago.

Had there been second issue, Colossus Comics would've introduced Icarion and continued the story of Colossus. We know little about Icarion but we do have what he would've looked like had the series continued.

After-dinner drink? I've never been offered that in a restaurant. Maybe I'm going to the wrong restaurants. Or, the waiter believes Brutus has a massive drinking problem because he's dining at a fancy restaurant by himself.

1239: I Always Thought Gladys Was the Reader In the Family

My wife and I are part of a book club. We joined it in an effort to make more friends. Mission accomplished but they aren't really friends we hang out with. My wife has her teacher friends to hang out with. I have...no. But I...not that one either. It seems that I have no friends. I'm sad now.

1121: Is Uncle Ted Brutus' Last Surviving Relative?

Why are you ruining your rum with diet cola? Also, is Uncle Ted actually drinking a rum and cola while Brutus is drinking coffee or tea? Maybe it's a hot toddy.

Brutus' Head Is Half Full

Over the last year or so, I have been following the story of a deer who had taken up residence in Elmwood Cemetery in Kansas City, Missouri. The deer joined people visiting graves and attending funerals, giving them a kind of comfort.

Ella was found shot and killed on August 4th. A person was charged earlier today in her death. You can read the story, and the reason given for shooting the deer here.

Sounds like it's time for Brutus to shatter that glass and rub the pieces into Hattie's face. You can still do that to children right?

Citric Acid...But Why?

Considering Diet Soda has more chemicals in it than regular soda, I'm not surprised to see some benzoates in there. I'm not a fan of diet soda mainly because I'm not a fan of the taste of liquid rectum and I don't think it actually does anything to help but whatever helps you get through life.

Don't Pawn Your Pee Water Off On Me, Woman

I am a huge fan of iced tea but I understand people's aversion to it considering it's pretty bland unless it has some sort of flavoring in it. I typically just add sugar to it because I do not like lemon in my tea and if you give me lemon in my tea at a restaurant, I will throw that tea in your face my good sir. Not really though.

I also received my Klout perk in the mail yesterday: Lipton Tea & Honey Mango and Pineapple drink mix. I have no idea if they will be any good but I'm willing to anything once.