Saturday Suffering

October 13, 1965

I am assuming what's going on is this delivery person delivered flowers to this lady, and as a tip, she gave him a flower from the many flowers she receives from different suitors. That's my take on this poorly scanned comic anyway.

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What?! Do Uncle Ted's naps last longer than a day? You should go see a doctor about that, Uncle Ted. How is a calendar going to help? Calendars don't wake you up. What is this comic trying to say?!?

And are Uncle Ted and Brutus practically wearing matching outfits!!!?!!

50

Heathcliff made his debut on this day 50 years ago. Here, Heathcliff's wacky supporting characters are flooding the streets to honor the original orange cat that they love and fear.

I don't think there's going to be enough cake.

September 3, 1973

I'm shocked you can get a raw fish at this ice cream parlor. I guess Westfinster has always been very accommodating toward Heathcliff.

January 8, 1986

Brutus balanced that flowerpot on his head all the way home? That's pretty good. If only there was a way to monetize that. What was Brutus doing at the florist? He didn't buy anything.

I don't understand any of this. This comic is clearly only written for the golfers who read the Sunday comics. Short game? I don't know what that is, and nobody tell me because I don't want to know.

If you would like to support my writing, research, or website, you can buy me a cup of coffee on Ko-fi or another funding site.

That Golf Cart Doesn't Have Shade?

December 8, 1985

Oh, good. Brutus is getting his life together. He's stopped smoking and drinking and seems at least ambivalent that Mother Gargle is here. Then she insults him and drives him right back to smoking, drinking, and an early grave.

Brutus must feel bad about not being a good conversationalist back on July 2 (which you can read a cool BTS story here) and is trying to make up for it. Sadly, Veeblefester is not one for small talk--especially inane stuff like the weather and things he doesn't care about, like sports. I would suggest asking Veeblefester how he made his first million. Well, the first million he earned after getting a million dollar loan from his father.

35, 55...It All Looks the Same Without My Glasses

January 25, 1974

"Who is Rancid W. Veeblefester and why do they have such a stupid name?" the old flower woman wonders aloud before going back to selling her dead merchandise.

Have you ever driven through a town where they have a speed trap? The ones that I normally see are where there is a sign that reads "Speed limit 55 unless posted" right in front or behind a sign that reads "Speed limit 35" or vice versa. Yeah, I love being confused when I'm driving. That's good for everyone involved.

That cop seems awful close to Brutus' car. And this town must not have much going on if the policeman has time to pull over Brutus.

Bad Boy, Bad Boy

May 25, 1974

The flowers have apparently gained sentience and are exacting their revenge on humanity. This happens from time to time.

Is Wilberforce really a bad kid? I get the feeling he's more stupid and lazy than bad. Don't get me wrong, Hurricane Hattie is a bad influence but Wilberforce by himself is a good, albeit idiotic, kid.

Valentine Redux

Chip is copying his own garbage strip now. Only the prices have changed.

Brutus is getting pretty uppity for someone who is buying flowers at the last minute.

1292: Well, Eff You Too

I am getting a little sick and tired of all these made up "holidays". We complain that official holidays are only used for money-grubbing corporations to separate us from our cash but yet we seem perfectly fine with "holidays" where the whole reason for their existence is to spend money on cakes, pies, cookies, ice cream, coffee on either ourselves, our loved ones, our bosses, our sisters, our twins, our dogs or our cats.

1136: Gary Owens, 1934-2015

Gary Owens, voice artist extraordinaire whose trademark baritone voice was heard on Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In, cartoons like Space Ghost, Blue Falcon, Garfield and Friends, The Ren and Stimpy and numerous other guest roles, has passed away. He was 80.

Just take some flowers from the local cemetery. Gladys will never know the difference.*









*Note: I do not condone stealing flowers from a cemetery.