Sunday Night Fight

April 5, 1987

As we watch the Thornapples drift further and further away from God, let's be reminded that were, at one point, a church-going family. Brutus even sang in the church choir, for some reason. I've always found church choirs strange. If a quarter to a third of the members are in the choir then who are they singing to?

Was Gladys and Wilberforce at church? Or does Brutus just go to choir practice? Look, Gladys, you are free to grab a hamburger or whatever with a friend if you want. You can have friends!

Oh, who knows why Gladys is mad. She just gets angry. It's a family trait.

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Nyah x 6

May 7, 1966

Case history? Thornapple has a file? And apparently he's some sort of sexual deviant.

I don't care if you are a literal child in grade school, six "Nyah"s seems excessive and makes your argument weaker. Although why Brutus chose to argue with a nine-year-old girl is beyond me. Especially a nine-year-old like Hurricane Hattie.

Bald Knob

April 14, 1966

These type of jokes are always good for a chuckle, but I always question if the phone call is worth getting out of the shower. It never is. Besides, if it was actually important, they will call back. They will call back repeatedly.

Why does Brutus set himself up like this? He's just asking for some kind of retort or insult or comment. He leaves himself open like that and he's just going to lose.

I would prefer some kind of *snort* or other stifled laugh sound, not a tee-hee like some four-year-old girl. Mother Gargle hasn't tee-hee'd in 75 years.

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This Is Abuse

October 6, 1965

Atomic fallout?! I guess that explain the oddly placed ⚛⚛ in the first panel. It took me a couple read-throughs to notice the "atomic fallout" comment. This strip clearly takes place in a timeline where Russia launched their nukes. The obiliteration of two global superpowers can't stop love.

Two things: I appreciate the spelling of "Emilie", and I want to see more of Quincy Madison.

Why is that one on top already open? Did she need to use a tissue in the car or something? I also feel Gladys should be buying those at CostCo or Sam's Club. Buying them separately like that seems pricey.

Oh, cool. They're comparing notes now. Why is this a competition? What's to gain from this? Being married isn't a scorecard or whatever. God, I absolutely hate this trope and wish it would die already.

Did they put the cream and sugar directly into the coffee pot?

They Have a Framed Picture of Kewpie!! a;slkdjfljfkldsjkfsd;fkld

September 28, 1965

Let this be a reminder: Never be kind.

I'll admit, I react like this guy in the last panel at least a dozen times a day.

If they schedule a day every year to angrily stare at each other, why can't they have a truce on all the other days? Honestly, I don't understand how Gladys hasn't taken Wilberforce and run off, creating new identities and starting a new life away from Brutus and Mother Gargle.

I Make a Joke About the Chair Being Green and Today It's Colored Magenta

March 19, 1989

Brutus has moved on with his life. Maybe Gladys is still mad because of her posture. Who sits on the couch like that?

I wonder if that chair is green, like in the current comic strips.

So we're not actually talking about memorizing the whole speech, just the opening lines--which is all anyone ever remembers anyway? I think Wilberforce can remember "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal." I mean, the Kennedy one is good as well. I'm partial to more obscure quotes. Everyone is going to be quoting Washington, Lincoln, Kennedy, all the big prezzies. My choice would be "I cannot ask for heaven success, even for my country, in a cause where she should be in the wrong. May our country always be successful, but whether successful or otherwise, always right." This is from John Quincy Adams in response to Stephan Decatur's statement "Our country! In her intercourse with foreign nations may she always be in the right, but our country, right or wrong."

I'm glad that even Wilberforce knows that quote isn't from Lincoln, but he should be more concerned about the weird indoctrination, which is why I'm more partial to quotes from presidents that point out the United States' many, many, many flaws.

Steven Kraan

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I See a Snowflake, Too

January 7, 1978

I've gone my whole life without having to come to fisticuffs. Why do we need to yell and fight each other all the time? You were disrespected? If I beat up everyone who disrespected me, I wouldn't have a job and I'd probably be in prison. Or dead. Dead's also a possibility.

What is that hat? Can't just draw a normal stocking cap? I guess it's time to come to fisticuffs.

Back to the Past

January 4, 1978

Who's letting Brutus give a speech? Maybe he just saw a podium and decided to do a bit or something.

Ah, man. And Brutus just won one a couple weeks ago.

Actually, we've entered a time hole and this comic is a rerun. Not just any rerun because it also ran in November of 2021 after first being printed in 2019. I wasn't doing commentary in the latter half of 2019 but I was in 2021.

He's just now learning this. Keep in mind, he has been in business for many, many years and this should've been one of the first things you learn.

Actually, that explains a lot about how Brutus is at his job.

From 2021.

Chivalry Is Dead

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Now, onto comics.

August 16, 1977

Hit him with the coffeepot, Brutus!!

When did Brutus loan him the money? I personally wouldn't have but I never believe I'm going to get paid back and am too introverted to come out and ask for it back. If it's been more than a month, this guy's a jerk.

He doesn't even look trustworthy so this is probably all on Brutus.

If my wife and I rarely fought then I would maybe apologize even if she was the one who was wrong but Brutus and Gladys fight all the damn time so, no, Brutus shouldn't apologize. And he shouldn't wear that undershirt either.

Chili and Plants

I had jury duty all day yesterday so I just decided to stay offline. I should do that more often. We all should. We all should just log off and never return. Onto today's post, I guess.

October 19, 1976

BRUTUS' MOM!!??!! Or is this Brutus in women's clothing trying to do some kind of Mrs. Doubtfire thing? Wilberforce has clearly never met this woman before or was very young when they did meet. Where have you been for roughly 7 years? You owe him 7 years of birthday, Christmas, Valentine, and Veteran's Day presents.

If the chili is spicy enough to rocket your body into the air, he should really have a second pair of pants. I'm a little disappointed that this is a fart joke. What is this? Marvin?

That belt doesn't look long enough to strap yourself in.

Why is that plant there? Is it so we don't think they are just arguing in a void? Are we to assume she's going to throw that plant at Brutus? When the pot inevitably shatters, Brutus needs to jam one of the sharp pieces into her windpipe.

Rancid & Lividea's Hawaiian Vacation

Headlines found during a search:

"Prices are going up and CEOs are making out like bandits"

"As inflation eats up worker wages, CEOs get a 7.7% raise"

"CEOs are driving Greedflation, raising prices to pay themselves more"

"How corporations are using inflation to take your money"

"One thing is beating inflation in this economy, CEO pay"

"How Excuseflation is keeping prices--and corporate profits high"

"Prices at the supermarket keep rising, and so do corporate profits"

So, no, someone doesn't have to be let go. You're just greedy.

And this, again, raises questions about Brutus' place in the company. Brutus seems really high up on the totem pole but gets paid crap. Who else is above Brutus? He only talks business with Veeblefester.

I just realized the copyright is 2018 so these are old strips and I've already commented on them. When this strip first ran, I made a long diatribe about voting and a special election in Ohio. This time, I'm going believe they are arguing about what the movie Barbie is about. Gladys believes it's a commentary on being a woman with sly commentary on manhood while Brutus believes it's about a girl getting her first period.

It's why Gladys is wearing pink.

Rich people have problems, too. *draws fake tear down my cheek*

I've never seen Brutus meditate so why is he suggesting it? "Have you ever tried meditation to help you relax, Chief? I personally haven't, but I've heard about it!"

2018.

I kind of thought these were reruns when I saw the preview for this strip talking about "superfoods" which is something people haven't mentioned since 2019.

2018.

If I were put in charge, I'd whip this place into shape and then steal money. Those moneybags are just sitting out for anyone to take. I doubt he locks them up.

2018.

This is Gladys' response to Wilberforce asking "What the hell is this?"

2018.

The Veeblefesters. Can afford. To pay. For their own trip to Hawaii! Although now is probably one of the worst times to win a vacation to Hawaii considering a good chunk of an island has burned down. That won't stop a bunch of selfish white people though.

If you would like to support the people of Hawaii and the residents of Maui, you can donate through the Hawai'i Community Foundation.

Here is the link to my original post for the first comic.

Saturday Quickie

December 16, 1975

Gladys is just going to stand like that for the next two hours...

What else are you going to put in there? Most people do burgers and hot dogs or variations on burgers and hot dogs.

Even with that new-fangled grill, Brutus is still somehow going to burn the hot dogs and set his chef's hat on fire.

His Existence Is What's Wrong

October 30, 1973

Everyone knows Brutus is bald. Then why is he wearing that toupee?

How do you know she's mad, Brutus? She always looks like that.

Can't Get No Satisfaction

August 14, 1973

$70?!? You're spending way too much on the sun. Who's your sun guy?

I guess they do have the beach to themselves which is a nice perk.

Isn't him admitting defeat a win? Ugh. I don't care. What I do care about is that it's only Tuesday and Mother Gargle and Brutus are already fighting with each other. We still have four to five more days of this. Meanwhile, Gladys, Wilberforce, and us suffer.

Please don't fight. It's Turkey Jesus' birthday.

Mrs. Thornapple

August 9, 1973

Who's allowing Brutus to give a speech? And mind-boggling? Too many offbeat references and turns of phrase?

Or else what? You gonna slap me around? There are places I can go that will protect me from you. Are you going to somehow make my life miserable. Sorry, babe, I'm the born loser. And that you married me is more of an indictment of you than me.

Mall Rat

August 1, 1975

Brutus doesn't look like he'd miss her at all. Their heights seem very opposing in this strip. It's also very telling that Gladys isn't taking Wilberforce with her. It's good to know that even in the early years, they forgot and abandoned Wilberforce a lot.

Is Brutus wearing suspenders with no shirt?

I'm assuming all the bags are still out in the car and she needs help carrying them all in. Sorry, Gladys, you bought all that crap, you get to lug it all in.

Unless the mall she goes to is anything like my mall where 60% of it is empty. Then maybe she wouldn't spend as much.

Know-It-All

I wish I had a dollar for every time Brutus argued with Mother Gargle or Gladys. I'd be able to pay for the domain registration for this thing. And you know they are arguing over something stupid and you know that Gladys and Mother Gargle are just as wrong as Brutus half the time.

If Gladys Is Mrs. Right Then Brutus Is Mr. Right

Holy crap! Gladys is Miss Right? Miss Right is wanted in eight states for the murder of 15 people! From Arizona to Ohio, she has left a bloodstained path on this great country of ours. I hope the proper authorities read this comic and bring this killer to justice!

Gladys can shove her "you are 100% wrong"s in a sack.

Please Stop Fighting 😢 It's the Holidays

I can't ever tell which one is more of a petulant child. I also can't understand why Brutus always has to be the one to lose all of their marital spats. It's not the 1960s anymore. Husbands are allowed to win arguments every once in a while.

Slobberknockers

Brutus and Gladys are fighting again. You know, when the Lockhorns fight, that's funny because they are abusive, manipulative, and just plain awful to each other. Brutus and Gladys are just posturing.