He's Fine

March 14, 1966

Remember kids, never do anything nice for no one!

Are there any stores that still honor some random number with free stuff or a trip? Maybe local stores do but clearly your local Kroger isn't. $100 of free groceries? She'll be able to buy three dozen eggs!

I love the tiny carts and that she dropped the one thing she was purchasing.

Now she's dressed like it's freezing cold outside.

I don't believe the doctor phrased it like that at all. He has a cold. Why'd you even take him to the doctor for a cold?

And what's with Wilberforce's hands in the last panel?

Replacement

February 11, 1966

We cured the common cold and the only side effect is that it shrinks you? Sounds like a good deal to me. It also seems like something that could be fixed easily. Sadly, whatever is causing the explosive bloody diarrhea could not be isolated.

Anyway, get vaccinated!

I have to appreciate that Veeblefester hired a fresh, young go-getter ready to prove himself and his seasoned employees are standing around the watercooler talking about it.

You two need to stay away from the new sales rep.

This Is Abuse

October 6, 1965

Atomic fallout?! I guess that explain the oddly placed ⚛⚛ in the first panel. It took me a couple read-throughs to notice the "atomic fallout" comment. This strip clearly takes place in a timeline where Russia launched their nukes. The obiliteration of two global superpowers can't stop love.

Two things: I appreciate the spelling of "Emilie", and I want to see more of Quincy Madison.

Why is that one on top already open? Did she need to use a tissue in the car or something? I also feel Gladys should be buying those at CostCo or Sam's Club. Buying them separately like that seems pricey.

Oh, cool. They're comparing notes now. Why is this a competition? What's to gain from this? Being married isn't a scorecard or whatever. God, I absolutely hate this trope and wish it would die already.

Did they put the cream and sugar directly into the coffee pot?

It's Clear Today's Strip Was Made When Half the Country Was Under a Foot of Snow

June 25, 1965

Get your vaccinations, people!

At least they are in a submarine so the measles(?) outbreak can be contained. The general public is fine.

It's not funny, Mother Gargle. Brutus could've died.

That Doesn't Look Like a Monstera Plant...

November 7, 1977

Hattie's pet skunk is allowed to be in people's houses? I wish I had a pet skunk. I wish the pet skunk was still around.

Covering her mouth isn't necessarily going to make the sneezes quieter. My sneezes can be just as deafening whether or not I cover my mouth.

I like that more people are doing this. I don't really want to take care of a plant, but I want one around. I can't wait until we start getting doomsaying articles about how the fake plant industry is killing ourselves, the planet, whatever, in a couple years.

Hot Chocolate? It's 73 Degrees In Cleveland

September 14, 1976

Whenever Hurricane Hattie hangs out at the Thornapple's house with her pet skunk, Wilberforce becomes slightly tingly. What's that about?

So, Brutus does help with the dishes? It wasn't clear before.

"Guess what? I have a fever. And the only prescription is more football..."

Gladys' unmoving response ("Do you want some chicken soup or something?") means she doesn't really care about her husband's fever or knows he's just setting up some kind of bit. Either way, she regrets coming into the room.

I'd Rather You Were Teaching Him to Drive a Car

November 24, 1985

It's cool that Veeblefester is at work with a cold, spreading it to all his employees. The one person at work who probably has paid sick leave and he comes in anyway.

Calm down, Gladys. This happens all the time. Wilberforce is 9. Practically a man.

They just left and didn't say where they were going? And what they chose to do was golf?

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"Get Me Elmer from the Cleaning Crew, I'm Going to Make Him My Executive Vice President"

November 3, 1973

Well, this is something I've never seen the modern Wilberforce do. Be horny. Getting the chicks by flashing that wad of money around the church collection plate.

This would've been the perfect strip to callback to Agnes. It's weird how Brutus being sick is one of the few multi-part strips. What's funny is that Elmer is probably just sitting in Brutus' chair at his desk and he's not even doing any work. Whatever Brutus does was probably just split among other people. Remember, Brutus is not very important.

Brutus, take a step back. You're getting germs all over the fruit.

Only Gladys Has Legitimate Gratitude

August 17, 1973

Why would you even say that? Just say "Ok" and move on. I'm not even laughing at the actual joke but at Veeblefester's trust in Brutus. All Brutus has to do is not change a damn thing but instead Brutus will begin charging $8 a month for Tea Cozy Blue.

Mother Gargle was just there on Tuesday!

I've been very bombarded with being thankful and showing gratitude this year. I guess three years of pandemic does that to people. Anyway, I'm grateful for many things and am grateful I have so many great people in my life. From my family and friends to my coworkers and students. They all make me a better person. And I can't forget my dedicated readers--all 20 of you. May you all have a happy and safe holiday season.

H A P P Y    T H A N K S G I V I N G

In the Mail? How Long Has Brutus Been Sick?

Before we get to today's comic, there's a couple of announcements I would like to throw out here. First, I'm going to be keeping up my history, gravestone, and comic posts on social media over the summer. History posts will be on Mondays, gravestones will be on Wednesday, and comics will be on Friday. If you enjoy any or all of these, please engage with them on social media: Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I'm still figuring out how I want to post these comics on the website.

Next, the creator of My Dad Is Dracula, a wholesome comic that you may have seen bouncing around the intersphere, has created a plush of his two characters: Dad and Son. Get yours today a few months from now by going here.

Covid has finally punctured the comic strip bubble the Thornapples live in. "Cold." Sure. Or maybe he has monkeypox. Or something else. We're living in the plague-times now.

Love how Brutus blames the papercut on his mother-in-law and not on, you know, the whole point of the strip, him being a born loser.

If you would like to support my writing, research, photography, or comics, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Why Are They Just Staring At Brutus As He Walks By?

I was not expecting a three-part storyline. I wonder if Brutus is going to the doctor today or if he just decided, like everybody else would, that he's just sick and can deal with that himself.

That robe probably doesn't smell pleasant anymore.

Sick Day

Luckily Brutus has a doctor appointment tomorrow so he can get a note from the doctor excusing his work absences as required by the Veeblefester Tea Cozy Company Contract Updated Volume 41 (revised 2020), Section 4, Subsection C, Number 5.

Don't be like Brutus spreading your gross germs around to everyone. Go get your vaccine to stop the spread of not just regular COVID but that delta variant and that delta variant variant. Y'all yelled about herd immunity last summer, well, herd immunity doesn't work unless at least 75% of the population get sick or get vaccinated. Quit arguing and/or whining like a baby and get vaccinated.

Everything Hurts and He's Dying

Brutus should be happy he got an appointment in the same week. Aren't most doctors booked out at least three months? Maybe Brutus' doctor isn't very good. Or maybe my doctor is overly popular.

Mister Thornapple, Really?

Gee, I'm sorry. So you don't want me to use the 10 personal/sick days that you give me? Then why give them to me. Also, I can use those however I want. If I need a day off just to chill then I'll take a day off just to chill. If I really am sick then I will take a day or two and be sick. I'm sure there are more pressing issues that you should deal with other than my absence and the reason behind it.

Patient 0

It's probably just allergies but, yeah, Brutus now has the flu. I hear a lot of people saying that they get sick when they get their flu shot which means it's working. You are being injected with dead flu virus so your white blood cells, believing there is an intruder in your body, go to work and essentially make you sick. You then become immune to that flu virus so you don't get it anymore. And chances are, you'd probably be sicker longer if you actually caught the flu and not gotten a flu shot but, whatever, that's just science. And the government is spraying us with chemicals from the sky.

1210: It's Good Advice, Sicky McGee

A Facebook friend got all upset at someone she ran into who couldn't believe that she had become a nurse. The someone's reasoning was that this friend was always a jokester and immature. A magician.

Okay, maybe not a magician.

Anyway, her rambling post almost became some kind of existential crisis as she began to believe that everyone she knew felt that she was some irresponsible, jokester idiot and then began wondering why people can't assume that because you are now in your 30s that you are not the same person you were in high school. I would assume that it's because except for the education you received and fairly respectable job, you are the same person in high school. You have the same friends, you're in a long-term but fairly non-committed relationship and you are just as comfortable going out to get drunk as you are staying home and watching TV. As far as I know, you even have the same likes and hobbies.

Van Wilder grew as a person more in 90 minutes than you have in
14 years.

Meanwhile, I can guarantee that she also assumes everyone she went to high school with has not grown at all. I do the same thing. We all do. Unless I remain in touch in someone, I assume everything I knew about them has remained the same unless I learn otherwise. The problem I had with her pity diatribe is that she equated "responibility" and "being adult" with "lame" and "boring" which is something she does. She makes fun of people who get married or have kids, she likes being untethered to things and people unless they are used to make her life look better. "Being adult" doesn't mean getting married, having kids, being lame or being boring. It's about contributing so society and doing more good than harm.

I think what that person was trying to say was that while, yes, in high school she was kind of immature, she was commenting on how adult she had become. "Back in high school, you were an immature little girl but now you are a nurse contributing something our world. Good for you." In other words, instead of getting offended and needing your Facebook friends to validate yourself, take it as a compliment that someone noticed, even backhandedly, that you have grown as a person. Or don't and be fine with knowing that you have grown and don't need validation from anyone to prove that.

Fight through it Wilberforce. Get out of that bed and go do something. Sometimes you just need to power through your illness. I give this advice to everyone--except cancer patients because they never seem to appreciate it.

1146: Mother Gargle Is Beyond Caring About You

Maybe the doctor can help Brutus figure out why he just goes up to people and says "I have an appointment with my doctor" like they are supposed to care. Sure, here it's your mother-in-law but when has she ever shown even the slightest interest in your life?

Also That Chair Doesn't Look Comfortable

I think Brutus feels bad because of the Elephant Man-esque proportions of his nose, ears and odd arm lumps.

Really? Gladys Can't Hang a Picture?

And Gladys can't do these things because...?

I'd rather be forced to do odd jobs around the house, which was my original plan for today, but instead I'm sick.

Lines Under the Eyes Mean 'Sick'

I've actually never used this saying because most dogs I've ever known were well taken care and either never got sick or was immediately taken to the vet, so I decided to search for the origin of the saying "sick as a dog."

And found nothing. The only things I could find pointed to the saying originating in the 1700s and may come from the fact that since dogs eat everything they find, they tend to get very sick, or that back then dogs weren't well taken care of and thus when they got sick, they got really sick, or that back then dogs were given food that was not fit for human consumption thus ending with them getting sick. Either way, Kewpie is very insulted by the saying which takes dog progress back 300 years.