Can I Get Peanuts and Crackerjack At a Football Game?

October 18, 1966

This insurance agent looks like he might die soon. But he probably has insurance.

Brutus dies within the next week. It's clearly murder. "I wonder who did it," the police ask. "Brutus was loudly threatened with death by an insurance salesman last week." "Hmm. I guess this case will remain...unsolved."

Someone could probably rewrite "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" to fit football. We should also play "Baby Elephant Walk" at football games more. Creating or rewriting songs to be about football is probably cheaper than paying for the rights to actual songs.

Check In

May 10, 1966

Better nothing than this:

While the sketch above is from 1983, a continuation was made in 1987 that had a song with it. It's strange how it's still relevant.

People talking in movie shows

People smoking in bed

People voting Republican

Give them a boot to the head!

If Brutus isn't working, then what is he doing? Is he writing a story? Drawing penises on the desk? Wait. I know what he's doing:

Cool S

He's my post about what's going on with Brutus' office.

Green Giant

April 7, 1966

At least he gets a mountain named after him? At least until we go "woke" and start calling it by its original indigenous name.

Apparently the Thornapples are going through a mint green phase for their house. I'm not going to link to all of them, but most of the backgrounds in the house are mint green.

Another Monday

March 29, 1966

I feel this is how a lot of people react when they discover their brain isn't something people want. I would say 99% brains are unremarkable. Especially when you stick your tongue out at people.

Good lord, just fire Brutus already! Does Brutus have a clause in his employment contract where he is guaranteed employment for one year and since this is a comic strip, the year never technically ends?

Was Veeblefester just standing there? Maybe they're on kind of a catwalk overlooking all the slave labor used to make the tea cozies.

Is Hattie Brutus' Best Friend?

February 23, 1966

Viva la Revolution!!

Living in a country where firing squads might become the norm, I hope there are some out there able to convince the soldiers to direct their rifles over to the commander. I'm surprised he was allowed to talk enough to sway opinion.

Aren't roosters and crocodiles essentially the same thing? Modern day dinosaurs? My amalgam of crocodile and rooster--croosterdile--makes a bit more sense. But I give this riddle a solid 4.7 out of 5. It's way better than Gladys' pathetic attempt.

Everybody Wants a Log

January 25, 1966

I'm not a huge movie person, but did actors die on the set a lot back then? Is this why Russell Crowe wasn't in Gladiator 2? Did Paul Mescal kill him accidentally on set? Has anyone seen Russell Crowe in the last year or so?

Remember 2019? Before the world turned upside down? I had stopped doing Born Loser posts in May of that year but returned because 2020 happened and I was home a lot! So I never got to comment on this one or probably any of the others that we'll see this week. I am disappointed that we won't get an original Christmas strip this year though.

It's an artificial fireplace log, Brutus. It's not really going to burn.

Dope Springs Eternal

November 20, 1965

I've never been stranded on an island before. It's on my to-do list. But these islands never seem big enough to even rise above the water. Wouldn't an errant wave just wash you into the sea? I mean, islands in the middle of the Pacific freak me out anyway. I don't see how the people of Napari, Te Tautua Village, or Adamstown do it. Just hoping you don't get swept away into the ocean like Wilson the Volleyball.

Brutus is going to get yelled at, fired, and possibly thrown out a window. And it's a holiday week, too.

Worthless Boy of Summer

November 10, 1965

Technically, if he were to take one of those "when will you die" quizzes, I bet it would say he's already dead. "Am I already dead?" "Oh, no. That would be terrible. It says next Thursday."

Are the Scandinavian countries different than Europe? Maybe she's just more excited about being alone with those Scandinavian men. Or Scandinavian ladies.

I'm impressed the coach puts Wilberforce up to bat so much. Even if there's a "each of your players have to be up at bat" rule, coaches usually put those kids in when the stakes are low--not five times. Although I've been following the Weasels for years now and the whole team is pretty awful.

2022.

Better, Better, Better

August 27, 1965

Those guns seem awfully close to him. I guess they want to make sure this guy dies despite the firing squad being the most reliable, quickest and possibly least painful way to be executed.

He should really be restrained.

How is Brutus so bad at his job? He's in sales. You make phone calls and send papers over to the accounting department--at least that's how it's shown in The Office. I have never and absolutely will never work in sales so all I learn about it is from pop culture.

Cool. Veeblefester Just Stands At Doors and Waits Too

May 21, 1974

Will he still be holding his martini glass when you turn him into a lamp?

I'm a pretty macabre guy but even I find Gladys a bit too happy at the prospect of her husband dying. If you need a lamp, just go out and buy one.

"You don't remember the meeting? We talked about you getting a promotion, and I just laughed and laughed."

Mother Nature Is Angry

February 8, 1974

Brutus' uncle is just giving away the game of Monopoly piece-by-piece? Is this some sort of complicated way to get the family together a bit more? "My family loves playing Monopoly but they never get together anymore. I have an idea..."

I remember in 2012 when it snowed on May 2. It happens--especially if it gets cold and you live near a massive lake--or several massive lakes.

Or, it's the end of the world. Truthfully, I hope it's that.

Saturday Quickie

February 8, 1974

If you want to leave someone out of a will, always leave them a dollar or something nearly valueless so that they can't contest the will. If you just leave them out, they could contest the will under the possibility that you were accidentally left out. Make sure your non-loved-ones know you don't like them. Leave them in that will and give them individual Monopoly pieces.

I feel like that should count. But I'm always looking for ways to make golf seem more interesting.

Death Waits for No Golfer

"There are some mornings that I don't even recognize him, he's so obsessed with golf. He's not even very good at it but still subjects himself to it every other weekend or so. I've prepared myself for the inevitable but I worry about the other kids whose fathers subject themselves to golf."

It's nice that Uncle Ted's high school buddy died doing what he loved but that doesn't change the fact that he keeled over on a golf course, which are very difficult for paramedics to get to. It's very possible that if he was doing nearly any other hobby, Uncle Ted's high school buddy would still be alive.

POB #5: Idilia Dubb

God in heaven, what has happened! Do I dream, or is it reality? In the flight, I have
ascended the swaying stairs of an old castle ruin, and just as I have reached the plateau of them, a
terrible crash comes upon my ear, which makes me sink down into the depths of my soul. With a
bated breath and covered eyes, I listened for a moment, then
turning and looking, what I had to see! - the stairs had collapsed behind me! For a time I stood
as if frozen, without reflection, without thoughts-almost without feeling. I felt as though I was no longer living. Oh, it would be so
been! Only too soon did I return to myself and to my existence, which is without a doubt a horrible, lost one.
I can not find any way to get down there. The walls are high, with only a few projections, very distant from
each other. No pole, no rope, no help far and wide.

O father! O mother! O George and dear Marie! How will you look for me, cry and moan! And I
am here on this lonely, abandoned, desolate tower, and have no means of giving you a sign of my life

I've called all day, but no one has heard me. My voice, I believe, is not enough. At
the edge of the hole into which the staircase is cast down, I do not dare me, lest I go down
would fall. In the first moment of terror, I hurried to him, but the dizzying depth and
darkness of the darkness gave me so much relief that I half-faintly staggered. All the
sheets of my sketchbook I have copied and thrown down one by one. Some I saw over the trees,
others flying into the water. Oh, I could have done it! But I close the high wall of the parapet.
In vain I tried to swing myself up to the edge; My powers were not enough. As long as I
could move the arms, I blown with the handkerchief. Nothing helped. And yet I know, father,
mother, George, Marie, you are looking for me with heart, and let me seek. Will no one come to this tower

O my God! I cried all day. Now comes the night. It's getting cold and chilly. I hear the trees
rustling under me in the evening wind; Over me the night birds are rising with heavy swinging wings.

God in heaven, have mercy on me! -

Huddled in a corner, bitterly crying and sobbing, I finally fell asleep. I am
freezing, hungry; The tongue sticks to my palate. Father of all creatures, will not you send me salvation? Should
I be lost forever? Parents, siblings, do not you know? If any of you were here, I
would find him! My heart would lead me, my poor heart, who will be afraid, pain, hunger, and thirst, and
suffocate my own tears. Again I have called, blown, made all sorts of exertions. My
hands, my knees, my whole body are sore. My eyes, my lips burn. In my ears I have
Terrible whirring. O, my God, O my God, shall there be no help to me? One hundred times it was as if
I heard human voices; Clearly I meant to hear the mother calling me. Oh mother, your poor
child, your Idilia! Do not you urge a dark train of your soul here! Marie, George! You must hear me! Hear!
Hear! Your sister, your poor, desperate sister!

Free! All in vain! In Death, I began to loosen loose stones with the nails from the mortar,
and to impregnate them into steps. My fingers bled terribly, and when I once went in pain to the mouth
and felt the warm fluid, I could have ripped myself to drink my blood. My
blood was so good to me! Oh God! It had been my only food for 48 hours. Already I have
chewed on the straw of my hat. But as terrible as I am for food, the horror of my situation makes me forget the
needs. The whole day I piled up the loose stones. Finally, towards sunset
Their height seemed to me considerable enough to reach the edge to which some board steps have led,
but which are now rotten and shattered. I climbed them. The land lay far ahead of me. How quiet, how
happy all! I saw in the surrounding villages smoke the chimneys and
ride a steamboat on the Rheine . Violently I blew with the cloth and thought to notice that I was blown again! The lucky ones
down there thought it was a greeting of joy. Ah, they did not know how much the sign of distress and
despair was! The band's music sounded on the back deck, the bank, the hotel, their arms
The loves! What waves me? Death from all corners of this gruesome ruin. And what kind of death? Father,
mother, George, Marie, would you let me die so terribly, so terribly?

Am I still alive? - It seems to me that I've been up here for an eternity. The tongue sticks to my mouth, I
can not call. My clothes are hanging in shreds; My hair is disheveled; I think I am deaf;
I hear nothing more, the world is as extinct. Yesterday, two burrows
flew up , and sat down on the edge, weary with the flight. It was the last happiness that was my part, a greeting
from the world, from life. When they flew away, I watched them for a long time, I thought they had to fly straight
to mine and bring them news of my misery.

This is, I believe, the fourth day! Day? The Fourth Amendment to Hell! Yesterday I felt as if I was listening.
Everything was terribly dead and still; I was as in the grave, without feeling, without thought or sense. Suddenly I heard
my name as if from afar, as we call from our house in Edinburgh. I pulled myself up and
climbed up again the piled stones; Already I could not see any more! It lay like a veil
before my eyes. In the sway, the underlay dissolved, and I fell with the stones to the ground.

How long I lay, stunned by the trap, I do not know. All I know is, my death is certain. Once
more I will pray for the salvation of my soul, for you, father, mother, George and Marie. Then I will see whether I
still have strength to drag myself to the dark hope of the tower and to fall down. Oh, why did not I do it
right away.

Father in heaven, be merciful to my soul.

Idilia Dubb and her family were originally from Scotland. In the late spring of 1851, The Dubbs, Idilia, her mother and father and brother and sister took a trip to Germany. On their trip, they visited Lehneck Castle in the city of Lahnstein along the Rhine River. Idilia, wanting to record a view of the river, climbed the dilapidated stairs in the abandoned castle to the top of the pentagonal tower. With her sketchbook in hand, she was to start drawing the magnificent view from the castle but the wooden stairs collapsed trapping her in the tower.

No one knew that she had went up there and all expected her for dinner that evening. When Idilia didn't show up, the police were notified and a search went out. Everywhere and everything was searched. The only place that wasn't was Lahneck Castle. Fearing the worst, Idilia's family hesitantly and despondently, returned to Scotland. Idilia screamed and waved at whoever she could from the tower but no one heard, no one saw, no one cared, no one came.

In 1860, Lahneck Castle was finally going to undergo repairs. Workers climbed to the top of the tower and found a skeleton in tattered clothes, some pages of a sketchbook nearby. Words scrawled on the pages told the story of the final days of Idilia Dubb. Her parents were brought in from Scotland, her remains identified and taken home.

Most people agree that Idilia Dubb did not really exist, that her diary is a fraud, and that her tale of tragedy is just that: a made-up story. Researchers have been unable to find evidence of the Dubb family anywhere in Scotland and that her diary is in such good condition despite being exposed to the elements for nine years.

Is the story of Idilia Dubb a complete fabrication? Is it a mix of truth and fiction? We will likely never know.

Tauy Creek Digest #37: The Death of Charles Kizer

Everything was normal Saturday, October 20, 1917. Charles Kizer went to work at the farm of William Zirkle, something he had been doing since the summer began, and when the work day was over, he left the Zirkle farm and headed home. He would never make it.

Charles Kizer, at the time 33-years-old, was the son of Alex and Mary Jane Kizer. The Kizers owned land half a mile east of the Shawnee County line along present-day North 1500 Road. Based on what I can tell from newspaper articles, Kizer would spend the week at the Zirkle farm then return home for the weekend. The Zirkles lived in Monmouth Township in Shawnee County about three miles west of the Kizers. Charles was last seen Saturday evening after eating supper. What was strange was that he had left with his hat and overcoat but not his actual coat. Kizer was missing for a week. A search party was organized the Sunday morning after he didn't return home and while his footprints were found in numerous places, they were did not lead to Charles. His disappearance gripped Kanwaka and Clinton Townships and his parents thought the worst.

Headline to Lawrence Journal-World, Oct. 22, 1917

Charles Kizer's body was found in the corn field of John Hultz five miles southwest of the town of Clinton. That Charles was so far from home, Mary Jane knew that it had to be foul play. Charles had left the Zirkle house at around 9:30 at night. Initially it was believed that Charles suffered a "bout of insanity" but showed no signs of anything being wrong when he was at the Zirkle's. His body was taken to Cross Undertaking for an autopsy. Sadly, the doctor found no cause of death and it was determined that Charles "had a mental aberration" and died of exposure.

Autopsy report from the Lawrence Journal-World, Oct. 30, 1917.
Note Kizer's name is spelled wrong.

Charles' body was returned to his parents where a funeral was held on October 30. He was buried in Clinton Cemetery. On November 21, a card of thanks was in the Lawrence Journal-World thanking friends, family, and neighbors for their kindness and floral offerings during the death and funeral of their son and brother.

Card of thanks. Lawrence Journal-World, Nov. 21, 1917.

Mary Jane must not have ever gotten over the loss of her son as newspaper reports mention several bouts of sickness when friends and relatives would visit, back in the days when going across the county was considered news. Mary Jane passed away, at her home, on April 6, 1922 and was also buried in Clinton Cemetery. Alex would pass four years later in 1926 and was buried next to his wife.

The Kizers were a prominent family in Douglas County with the family name scattered throughout Kanwaka and Clinton Townships, mostly in Bloomington.

Tauy Creek Digest #26: Status Update

Every morning was a routine for Owen. He would get up and go downstairs, get some coffee made, and sit down to check his social media on his phone. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr, he'd check them all. His wife, Emma, usually came down shortly after him and today was no different. "Morning, honey. Do you remember that funeral we went to last February?"

"You mean the one for your Mom?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's the one."

"Of course I do, why?"

"This," Owen held his phone out for Emma. Pulled up on the screen was a Facebook status reading: "There is no better donut in town better than Joe's. MMmmmm."

"Oh, that is weird," Emma said. "Maybe it's a scheduled post."

"Pfft. Mom barely knew how to use Facebook let alone a site that could schedule something. Also, why would she schedule something almost two years ago? And, why an update about eating? How would she know she'd be eating Joe's doughnuts two years into the future?"

"I don't know. Comment or Like it and see what happens. Maybe it's a Facebook glitch. Maybe Facebook reposted a status she had already posted."

"That's a very disturbing glitch then," Owen looked back at his phone. "Should I report it?"

"You do what you want, honey."

"She's dead, right? We buried her."

"Do you want to go to the cemetery and make sure she didn't dig her way out and shuffle to the library to use their computers?"

"She also stopped to get doughnuts. Don't forget that. Also, she doesn't need to get out of the grave. Does cell signal go six feet underground?"

"And through a thick wooden casket and whatever they use as a casket vault?"

"Is that a 'no?'"

"Maybe her account was hacked. I say report it. Send her a chat message and see if someone responds."

"What if someone does respond and it's really her?"

"I don't think it will actually be her," Emma said. "If someone starts talking to you, ask them a question only she would know."

Owen stared at his phone and his Mom's status update. "Corey never updated his status after he died."

"What?"

"My Facebook friend who died five years ago. He's never updated his status."

"I guess you just want to sit there and act surprised about this," Emma sighed. "I've already given you ideas of what to do. Do them or don't. I don't care."

"Aah! Someone just Liked the status!" Owen exclaimed.

"Do they not realize she's dead?"

"Either that or they didn't notice whose profile it was," Owen locked his phone and stood up. "I'm going out. I need to check out a couple things before I go ahead and report this."

Owen left the house and started driving. After driving across town, he pulled into the parking lot of an apartment complex. He went upstairs to what used to be his Mom's apartment and knocked on the door. The new occupant answered and looked questioningly at Owen. "Yes?"

"Hi, my name is Owen and my Mom used to live here. She died a couple years ago and I wanted to ask you if you've seen her around lately. Has your computer mysteriously turned on or have you felt any cold spots in your apartment?"

The person closed the door on Owen.

"Thank you for your time."

After the apartment, Owen drove to the cemetery and parked near the row his mother was in. Her name, birth and death dates were carved into the stone. Grass grew evenly over the grave and hadn't been disturbed since it was filled. He got out his phone and went back to the post. There was now five Likes under the update.

Owen returned home and tossed his phone onto the counter. "I don't know," he said, frustrated. "I guess I'll report it. Their Help section says to contact them so we'll see what they say."

"I can't imagine what you must be feeling with all of this," Emma said. "You seem to be handling this well."

"It's just some weird hack or something. Instead of posting spammy malware-laden articles about celebrity nip slips, they post legitimate sounding status update to confuse people. It makes perfect sense. There. Email sent. Facebook will get back to me as soon as possible," Owen went back to the status update and smiled. "Heh, look at this."

Underneath the update was a comment that read 'Aren't you dead?' Both Owen and Emma chuckled at it. Owen then Liked the comment.

Tauy Creek Digest #3: Back From the Dead

It took a couple weeks but I finally found a route that I liked to run. North along Garfield to 15th, west to Collins Trail and then follow that until reaching 19th Street and then back home. It was a good route with an equal amount of everything a runner should encounter. It also went through some decent neighborhoods with houses I liked to look at. Over the next couple of weeks I became very familiar with my route and what I saw when out on my runs.

After a couple weeks, I began noticing someone looking out of the window of one of the houses I pass by. It happened everyday for a week and it was like they were purposefully waiting and watching for me. As I would look when running by, the figure started looking familiar to me. Finally, I stopped at the house and went up to the door. I knocked and waited for an answer. Shockingly, the door opened and I was amazed at who I saw standing before me.

"John?" I questioned.

"Hey, Ben. Long time, no see," John welcomed and shook my hand. "I've been seeing you running. Kept thinking I'd go out and meet you or you'd come up here. I'm glad you finally did."

"It's great to see you, man. I went into the house and John closed the door. "It's been a long time. We've all really missed you. You know, since you're supposed to be dead."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that," he gritted his teeth in a cheesy smile. "I had to. My life had just gotten so complicated that I needed a clean slate."

"A clean slate? Your friends, your sister, all mourned you. How did you even get away with it?"

"Jenna works for a mortuary. She helped make sure no one knew I didn't die."

"We had a service for you," I said.

"And I really do appreciate that. Jenna told me about it. Said everyone was very sad. I wish I could've been there."

"You were supposed to be!"

"I said I was sorry. I had to start fresh. My exes were all up in my ass, I had been taking more and more drugs, and drinking way too much way too often. Let's not forget my chronic unemployment."

"And killing yourself off had made all that better?"

"Yeah. I haven't heard thing one from my exes, my drug use is minimal and I haven't had a drink since my death," John happily said.

"What were your exes upset about?" I asked him. We sat down on the couch, on opposite ends, which started making this all seem normal.

"They just wouldn't leave me alone. Always arguing with me, coming to me when the guy they were seeing hurt them in some way. I swear to God that I had sex with them more often while we were broken up than when we were dating."

"Yeah, that sounds terrible," I sarcastically moaned.

"But like I said, I needed a clean slate."

We continued talking for several hours until we had finished catching up. As I left, John made me promise not to tell anybody. I reluctantly made the promise, unsure if I was going to keep it but who would believe if I did tell them. We shook hands again and I waved good-bye as I ran back home.

+*~*+

The next day, I drove to John's house to see him. I walked up to the door and knocked. It took longer for the door to open but, then again, he wasn't expecting me. Instead of John, there was another man. "Yes?" he answered.

"Um, I was here yesterday and there was a man here. His name is John," I said.

"Oh. John called me last night. He said that he had to leave right away. He told me to keep the rent for the month so I didn't question it. Cleaned the place up good, too," the man opened the door for me to show me a completely empty house instead of the well-furnished one I saw yesterday. "He'd been here only a couple of months. He was probably my best tenant. Oh, well."

"And he didn't leave you any forwarding information?" I asked.

"Nope, and the only phone number he gave me was a landline."

"And that didn't seem strange?" I questioned.

"As long as they don't do significant damage to my property and pay the rent, I don't care what my tenants do."

I sighed frustratedly. "Thank you. Sorry to bother you." I walked away, the landlord closing the door behind me. I got back in my car and drove away, thinking about my now twice-dead friend.

No. 44: Life After Alison

One

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to a funeral before,” Aaron said as he, Myrna, Wendy and Dennis stood in front of Alison’s casket.

“You’re 28. I find that hard to believe,” Myrna said. “Have any of your relatives died? There is no way you’ve never been to a funeral.”

“My great-great grandma died back in 1988 and I remember visiting her before she died but I do not remember going to a funeral.”

“I still find you never going to a funeral slightly unbelievable,” Myrna said.

Dennis tilted his head slightly to get a better look and Alison. “She looks so natural. Almost like she’s just asleep.”

“Are you okay?” Wendy patted his back.

“With this?” he spread his arms, motioning to the coffin “yeah. I am a little uneasy with my name being mentioned in the obituary.”

“Why?” Myrna asked.

“We were just dating--boyfriend and girlfriend. Sure we were living together but it makes it seem like we were going to be married.”

“I thought you loved Alison…” Aaron said.

“I did. I do. But I…we didn’t even know if we were going to get married or what. I’m probably just over thinking this and letting something that means nothing get to me.”

“We were all just together last weekend. Remember?” Wendy asked, looking at Myrna. “We went to see a movie and get some dinner. She was in such a good mood.”

“It’s not like she knew she was going to die,” Myrna said. “It is surreal that we all were just talking to her at some point six days ago and now we’ll never talk to her again.”

“Has anyone seen or talked to Stanley?” Dennis asked, looking around the funeral home.

“I called him when the visitation started,” Myrna said and snuck a peek at her phone. “He didn’t answer. I left a message and I’ll call him again when we start heading out to the cemetery.”

“I wonder why he’s not here,” Dennis said.

“She looks so natural,” someone said coming up behind them.

“Nathan,” Wendy backed up, “what are you doing here?”

“Alison and I dated for four years. Of course I’m going to come to her funeral.” Nathan stepped closer to the casket and looked in. “She still wears the ring I got her?” he asked, looking at a simple gold ring on her pinky.

Dennis quietly walked away from the group. “It’s just jewelry, Nate. Her still having it doesn’t really mean anything,” Myrna said and followed Dennis. “I’m sorry Nathan is here,” she said to him.

“It’s okay. He has every right to be here. They did date for four years.”

“You weren’t around for it. It was a terrible relationship,” Myrna said. “You are so much better than Nathan.”

“Why did she keep in touch with him?”

“They have a detailed history together. Also, the town’s not that big,” Myrna responded. “And I think he kept coming back and she was too nice to tell him to quit bugging her.”

“She was nice, wasn’t she?” Dennis’ eyes watered.

“She was.”




Both of them knew their relationship was getting boring. They’d been dating for over four years and engaged for two of them. Alison had taken to handling the boredom by discovering new hobbies and letting Nathan fuck her in the ass for something different in the bedroom. Nathan decided to combat the boredom by cheating on Alison with Jessica Ivy.

Jessica was a junior in high school, a good three years younger than Nathan who had just graduated from high school with Alison. At first, Nathan tried to keep his relationship with Jessica secret but after a few months stopped caring and even bought Jessica with him when hanging out with his and Alison’s mutual friends. Alison had a feeling that Nathan was cheating on her and with who but never confronted him until she walked in on them when she went to see him at his apartment.

“I know what you’ve been doing,” she began after sending Jessica out and making a partially dressed Nathan sit down on the couch. “I’ve known for awhile. The reason I haven’t said anything is because I’ve also checked out on this relationship. I haven’t gone as far as you but nothing about what we have is satisfying to me anymore.”

“So…what’s next?”

Alison slid her engagement ring off her finger and handed it back, holding the gold ring between her thumb and forefinger. “I think we should end the engagement and go our separate ways.”

Nathan took the ring from her. “So we’re breaking up?”

Alison cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. “You have to ask?”

“Can we have sex one last time?” Nathan asked, smiling in his fake innocence way that all girls, it seemed, thought was adorable.

“I think you are dating Jessica now and I don’t feel comfortable being the other woman,” Alison smiled. “Bye, Nathan,” she turned and left the apartment.

Two

“What are you doing here?” Caroline asked as she entered the coffee shop.

“I’m scheduled today,” Stanley responded.

“Isn’t today your friend’s funeral?”

“Yeah. I decided not to go,” Stanley said. “Plus this place doesn’t allow bereavement leave for friends. Sure, seven grandparents die; take off as long as you want!”

“Are you okay?”

“No. I’ve been Alison’s friend since college. We went well together. I was always there for her. In college, before she met Myrna, I was the one always there for her. She’d come to my dorm in the middle of the night. She’d talk to me when her boyfriend was being a jerk. When they finally broke up I was there. I waited a respectable amount of time and then asked her out. She always said she wasn’t ready but would then go out on a date a couple nights later. When she wasn’t dating anyone and she got drunk enough, she’d come to me. No funny stuff. Just kissing and cuddling together in bed. I’d always ask her out and she’d always reject me but I stayed her friend because I liked her and her company but now that she’s gone, I wonder if it was worth it,” Stanley revealed.

“Not worth it? You had ten years of friendship with someone you loved. How could that not be worth it?”

“I wanted more, Caroline. Why didn’t she just give me a chance? I’ve never understood why girls never seem to give guys who they are friends with a chance. I’m a nice guy. I would’ve treated her well.”

“Maybe she didn’t like you in that way?” she shrugged.

“Then she should’ve told me. If I ask you out and you are not interested then say so. She kept making up excuses and maybe not stringing me along but If she would’ve just said she wasn’t interested in me…” Stanley trailed off from there.

“If she would’ve told you she wasn’t interested, would you have stopped pursuing it?”

“I don’t know,” Stanley sighed. “Maybe I wouldn’t have stuck around so long but I also wouldn’t have been following around a girl who clearly had no interest in me for nearly ten years like a stupid puppy on a leash. Maybe I could’ve just been friends with her.”

“What are you going to tell your friends when they ask you why you didn’t go to her funeral?” Caroline asked.

“They were her friends, not mine. There’s a part of me that doubts we’ll ever see each other again,” Stanley said. “I did help her make a huge change in her life though,” Stanley smiled oddly as he looked at Caroline.

“What’d you do?” she asked, smiling back.

“I got her to quit drinking as much.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She used to drink all the time. She invited me to drink with her one morning, we nearly slept together and that helped get her act together.”

“Really? You two almost had sex which caused her to sober up?” Caroline stifled a laugh. “I don’t believe it.”

“No, really. The thought of sleeping with me cures women of becoming alcoholics,” Stanley laughed. “She never did thank me for that.”




It was about eleven in the morning five years ago and Alison had invited Stanley to her apartment to hang out. When he arrived, she had already downed several beers. “Stanley!” she yelled. “So glad you made it!” she hugged him.

“You invited me over,” he said.

“I know. I need someone to drink with and watch these cartoons with me,” Alison pointed at the television.

“Drink? It’s eleven in the morning,” Stanley faked a chuckle.

“I know. That’s why I invited you over. Otherwise, drinking this early is just sad.”

She handed Stanley a beer then walked over to the couch and flopped down on it. Stanley opened the beer and sat down on the couch. Alison placed her feet on Stanley’s lap. For the next hour, they sat in almost complete silence watching Nickelodeon. Stanley only made it through two beers but Alison had polished off five, not including the one she was drinking when he arrived.

Stanley had been massaging Alison’s feet for the last ten minutes which was something she liked and that he liked to do. “You should come up here and lay with me,” she offered and scooted closer to the edge of the couch.

Stanley pulled himself next to Alison, awkwardly placing his left arm over his head and his right arm around Alison’s waist. “It’s a little cramped,” he said.

Alison turned slightly. “I like being close to you,” she kissed him. He kissed her back and began rubbing her stomach. She stopped kissing him and grabbed his hand. “Grab some boob, Stanley!” and she placed his hand on her breast. She went back to kissing him and he gently fondled her left breast. “Oh, yes…” she moaned.

Alison scooted back into the middle of the couch so Stanley was now on top of her. They continued kissing, Alison holding Stanley close to her. Stanley stopped kissing her and pulled away. “What are we doing?”

“We’re making out,” Alison said. “And don’t tell me you don’t like it because I feel your boner,” Alison pulled Stanley closer to her and leaned up to whisper in his ear. “You need to kiss me more, fondle my boobs, tear my clothes off and fuck me.”

Stanley pulled back again. “You’re drunk.”

“And horny. I know you want to fuck me. You should take advantage of my offer.”

Stanley sighed, got off of Alison and stood up. “It wouldn’t be right,” he began. “You are in no condition to have sex with anyone right now. I’m going to help you upstairs to your bedroom and then I’m going to go home, okay?”

Alison looked innocently at Stanley; one of her eyebrows was raised, and nodded. “Okay,” and began sitting up. Stanley helped her stand and then took her upstairs.

Three

Myrna and Wendy became good friends because of Alison. Alison had always mentioned Myrna and Wendy to each other but neither of them had met until Alison’s 21st birthday. Myrna and Wendy became close because they had to carry Alison home that night and then they stayed up talking.

It was a week after the funeral when Myrna met Wendy for lunch. The three of them met for lunch occasionally when Alison was alive. Wendy was already sitting at a table with someone when Myrna came into the diner. The girl sitting next to Wendy was cute, about the same size and build as Wendy and had really short blond hair.

“Hi, Wendy,” Myrna sat down across from the girls. “Who’s this?”

“This is Amanda,” Wendy smiled at Amanda who took her hand under the table. “She’s my girlfriend.”

“What?” Myrna smiled and looked back and forth between Wendy and Amanda.

“We’ve been together about three months. We told Alison a couple of months ago and we were going to tell everybody last week but then Alison died and we decided to wait until everything with her death and the funeral died down.”

“I wish you would’ve told us sooner. Anyways, congratulations!” Myrna exclaimed. “How did you meet?”

“Alison and I went to a gay night at a bar—she liked being hit on by lesbians—and that’s when we met,” Wendy said.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” Myrna said, smiling at both of them. “You are happy, right?”

“I think we are,” Wendy looked at Amanda.

“I’m happy if you’re happy,” Amanda smiled back.

“I do think this being my first relationship has helped in understanding what I want from my significant other,” Wendy revealed. “Also, Alison’s parents gave me some photo albums that have a lot of pictures of us. They also have quite a bit of Nathan, Eric, Dennis and other boyfriends of hers. They thought it would be best if we kept them and divided them up between each other.”

“Maybe we can all come over some weekend and get those sorted. Talk about old times and reminisce,” Myrna suggested. “Are there any good pictures of the three of us—you, me and Alison?”

“Not that I saw,” Wendy shook her head. “There’s always at least one boyfriend in every picture it looked like.”

Myrna chuckled. “Alison sure liked men.”
“I think she liked what came attached to the men,” Wendy joked.

“Speaking of men, have you talked to Stanley since the funeral? I’ve tried calling him but he’s not answering or responding to my messages.”

“I haven’t talked to him,” Wendy answered. “He was more Alison’s friend anyway.”

Myrna nodded. “When did you come out to Alison?”

“It was when we were living together after she broke up with Jason but before she met Dennis.”




Wendy had been Alison’s best friend since elementary school when they met in third grade. As they grew, it was clear that Alison was the more personable of the two and while Wendy was able to go out and have a good time with her friends, she was normally Alison’s exact opposite. Wendy was quiet, kept to herself and never went out unless it was with Alison. The two girls acted more like sisters than friends.

The main difference between Alison and Wendy were their relationships. Alison seemed to always have a boyfriend while Wendy never did or even showed any interest in getting one. Alison usually brought this up in a joking manner and then offered to set Wendy up with someone which Wendy always declined.

Several months after Wendy moved in and a couple months after Alison and Jason broke up, Alison was moaning from her bedroom with one of her random guys, keeping a decent rhythm with the squeaking bed. Wendy rolled over and attempted to ignore the noises so she could fall asleep.

It seemed as though she was only asleep for a few minutes when Alison came into her room. “Wendy? Are you awake?”

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to sleep with you,” Alison said as she got into bed with Wendy, which had been a common occurrence since sleep-overs began back in the third grade. They laid in silence for about a minute until Alison farted.

“Alison!” Wendy shrieked and rolled over slightly. “Did you get into bed with me just to fart?”

Alison rolled over on top of Wendy. “Not necessarily,” Alison leaned down and kissed Wendy on the lips. Wendy laid there in shock as Alison lowered herself to Wendy’s waist and began removing her panties. “You have a very hairy pussy,” Alison said to Wendy, commenting on the tangle of dark brown hair between her legs. Alison began going down on Wendy.

Her breathing became stuttered and soft moans escaped her lips. Wendy’s orgasm mounted and she reached down to hold Alison’s head. Her eyes opened and all was quiet in her bedroom. She sat up and looked around the room, breathing heavily. She sighed loudly then flopped back down on her pillow.

Wendy had known since middle school that she wasn’t what anyone thought she should be. She did not start fawning over boys like many of her classmates did, she didn’t really start fawning over anyone. Around the time Alison and her other girl friends were dating and losing their virginities, Wendy continued to avoid that lifestyle. She finally admitted to herself in college that she was gay but didn’t tell anyone because her being a lesbian didn’t affect her or anyone else’s life.

Wendy decided to tell Alison mainly because of the dream but also because of all the secrets the two of them had shared as friends. When Alison came home from work, Wendy was sitting at their kitchen table.

“Hi, Wendy, what’s going on?” Alison smiled, wondering why Wendy was sitting at the kitchen table since it had mainly become a place to keep mail and other important papers in the last few months.

“I need to tell you something,” Wendy said. “I’ve known for awhile but I’ve never told anybody since it didn’t really matter or affect anyone. Anyway,” Wendy breathed deep. “I’m gay.”

“Nooo…” Alison purred. “You went to prom with that guy who was in love with you.”

“That was in high school and he was in love with me, I was indifferent about him.”

“What was his name?” Alison scratched her head. “It started with a ‘B.’”

“I can’t remember. I just remember that his tux looked weird, he didn’t comb his hair and he had a massive zit on his cheek. Even if I wasn’t gay, he was not getting lucky that night.”

“You said you’ve known for awhile. How long?”

“Since middle school at least,” Wendy said. “How are you doing?”

Alison walked up to Wendy and she hugged her. “I am so glad you told me. You’re my best friend and I love you so much.”

Wendy hugged Alison tighter and her eyes teared up.

“How much does this turn you on right now?”

“Shut up,” Wendy said as they continued hugging.

Four

“I wish I could’ve gone to the funeral but Jess and I had an appointment with the doctor. Wow, 27. She had so many years left in front of her,” Eric said as he looked at a picture of him and Alison that Myrna had given him.

“I know,” Myrna began. “It really made me think twice about what I’m doing with my life. I’m happy that your life has gotten better. Happily married, baby on the way. You must be really excited.”

“I am very excited,” Eric answered. “I never realized how much I wanted children until she told me she was pregnant.”

“That’s great,” Myrna said, uneasy. “Oh, I’m just going to ask. Do you ever wonder how life would be different if we had stayed together?”

“I have. And I don’t think our lives would be any better. Think about it, Myrna. I had a crappy job, bouncing from relationship to relationship, we had sex on our first date. Life wouldn’t be good. There’s a chance that we’d still be together and there’s a chance that we would be happy but our lives would be completely different and I don’t think for the better. Do you still paint?”

Myrna laughed. “No, I don’t. I’ve moved onto other things.”

“That’s too bad. I always liked your paintings but I get it, it’s hard to make money being a painter. You should still do it though, even if it is just a hobby.”

Myrna blushed then continued eating. They changed the subject to Alison and reminisced while they ate. After lunch, they walked out of the restaurant together and said their good-byes and parted ways. Myrna got out her phone and started calling someone. Dennis’ voicemail picked up and Myrna hesitated at leaving a message but decided to hang up instead.




It was about one month after Alison and Eric broke up when Myrna received a phone call from Eric. “Hey, Myrna, what’s up?”

“Um, nothing much,” she replied, confused. “What’s going on? Why are you calling me?”

“I was wondering if you’d want to go out with me this weekend.” Eric asked.

Myrna sat up straight on the couch. “I don’t know. I mean, you just broke up with Alison and I don’t know if the wounds are still fresh or…”

“Alison broke up with me so she probably doesn’t care and if I’m calling you and asking you out then clearly I am ready to try to move on. Besides, it’s not really a date; it’s just two friends going out for dinner.”

Myrna smiled. “That’s sounds good. I’ll see you Saturday.”

Saturday came and Myrna and Eric had dinner together and then went back to his place where they started drinking and talking. “So why do you still work at Walmart?”

Myrna laughed which came out as more of a snort. “I don’t know. It’s just a job. It pays the bills.”

“You should be doing something else. Something that is relevant to your degree,” Eric said.

“I know but what can I honestly do with an art degree? I mean, I read that the Louvre is hiring people to create more masterpieces but I feel I should start small like with the Art Institute or the Guggenheim.”

“You could try applying to small museums around here as a part-time tour guide or something. Call the art center and see if you can set up a showing of your paintings.”

“Why do you care what I do with my paintings?” Myrna asked.

“I like you, Myrna. I’ve liked you since I met you and why would I not want someone to follow their dreams?”

Myrna blushed and turned bright red. “Thanks, Eric. Alison doesn’t like my paintings.”

“And what museum does Alison work at?” Eric asked.

Myrna chuckled. She looked at the clock on the VCR and started to stand up. “It’s getting late. You should take me home,” Eric shot up and grabbed Myrna started to stumble.

“Neither of us is in any condition to leave this apartment,” he held onto Myrna and his left hand accidentally brushed against Myrna’s breast. “Sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Myrna said and they kissed. They continued making out for more than a couple of minutes. Myrna pushed away and turned toward the door. “I should really go.”

“No. Stay. Why do you want to leave so quickly?” Eric asked her, taking her hand.

“I feel like I’m betraying Alison. You guys just broke up and…”

“She broke up with me. Right now we’re just friends. There is no reason that you should be thinking that you are betraying her.”

They went to bed together, fully clothed with a decent amount of space between them in bed. When they woke up at seven, they had migrated to the middle of the bed and Eric had his arm around Myrna and their bodies were pressed together.

Eric held her tighter and spoke softly in her ear “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” she started to stretch.

Eric realized that he had an erection that was pressed into her lower back and he quickly readjusted himself. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. It happens,” she said as she rolled over to face him.

“See? I told you nothing would happen last night,” he smiled at her.

“That doesn’t mean nothing won’t happen now,” Myrna bit her lip before leaning in and kissing Eric. They pressed their bodies together and Myrna rolled and pulled Eric on top of her and removed his shirt.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Eric asked as she took her shirt off.

“Definitely,” she said and kissed him again.

When they were finished, Eric drove Myrna home and they made plans for that evening. Myrna took a shower and as she was getting dressed, her phone rang.

“Hey, Alison,” she answered after looking at the screen.

“What the hell are you doing?” Alison shouted.

“Right now?” Myrna was confused. “I just got out of the shower…”

“Why did you fuck Eric?”

“What?”

“I know you slept with Eric. Why did you do that?”

“First of all, why do you care and how is it any of your business and second, how did you found out?”

“I talked to Eric a little bit ago and he said he spent the night with you. He didn’t specifically say he had sex with you but I know you pretty well so I just figured you and him did it.”

“And what if we didn’t have sex? What if you are just jumping to conclusions and nothing really did happen between me and Eric?”

“Is that what happened?”

Myrna thought about lying and was silent for a few seconds. “Again, why do you care? You and Eric broke up,” Myrna said.

“That doesn’t mean you get to jump into bed with him. You can’t date him, Myrna.”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” Myrna started to get angry. “I like Eric, Alison, and if I want to continue seeing him then that’s my right. You don’t have to like it but considering it’s Eric and mine relationship, your opinion doesn’t really matter!”

“It’s me or him, Myrna. Let me know what you decide,” Alison hung up.

Myrna threw her phone on the bed but it started ringing again. “Eric?” she answered.

“Hey, Myrna. Did Alison call you?”

“Yes. Why did you tell her that we were together?”

“I just said I spent the evening with you and she immediately took that to mean that we spent the night together and had sex,” Eric said. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Alison loves jumping to conclusions about stuff like this,” Myrna said.

Eric chuckled. “Yeah. But the reason I called is to cancel our date for tonight.”

“What? Why? If it’s because of Alison…”

“I don’t want you to lose your best friend. Dating me will just cause problems not only between you and Alison but you and all of your friends. I really enjoyed our time together and maybe someday we can try this again,” Eric said, his voice breaking. “Thank you for an amazing night, Myrna.” Eric hung up and Myrna once again threw her phone onto her and she began crying.

Five

For the last four years, Aaron owned and operated a restaurant called Ingredient. It served typically popular cuisine but it also had a bar attached to it. For the last four years, Alison had been telling Aaron that he was going to make it but nearly a month after her death, Aaron was locking the doors.

Aaron was behind the bar pouring himself numerous shots of whiskey. He had invited his friends and loyal customers to a final gathering to say good-bye but only he was there.

“You’re going to what?” Alison asked him shortly after he announced his intent to open a restaurant.

“I’m opening a restaurant. I got approved for the loan today,” Aaron had never looked happier. Wendy, Myrna and Nathan congratulated him but Alison kept her composure.

“Do you even know how to run a restaurant?” she asked.

“I’ve seen how it’s done and I have a degree in business. I specifically went to school to learn how to run a business.”

“And you’re going to be the head chef as well even though you’ve only been an assistant chef since getting out of college?” she asked.

“What are you getting at Alison? Do you think I shouldn’t do this?”

“No. I think you should do what makes you happy but maybe you could go into a partnership with someone who has experience as both an owner and as head chef,” Alison explained. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“That’s part of owning a business—any business, Alison. If it succeeds, great, but if it doesn’t then at least I tried and can try again in the future.”

“Then you go for it, Aaron,” Alison said.

Aaron poured himself another shot. “Bitch,” he muttered.

The outside door of the bar opened and Dennis walked in. “Aaron? Is no one else here?”

“Nope. I’m the only one. Besides you, now.”

“Has anybody been by? Myrna? Wendy?”

“Nope. I even invited Nathan and I don’t particularly care for Nathan,” Aaron said and poured him and Dennis a drink. “I know it’s wrong to speak ill of the dead and I know you were dating her but Alison’s a bitch!”

Hearing that did not shock Dennis and he quickly downed the shot Aaron gave him. “How come?”

“She didn’t want me to open this place but wanted me to do whatever made me happy and then I had to hear every time Ingredient was doing bad ‘Oh, it’ll get better. You’re just in a slump’ blah, blah, blah. I didn’t listen to her the first time so why did I listen to her the next forty-seven?”

“Say what you will about Alison but she was jealous that you opened this place. She always played it safe. She was on the pill but still made me wear a condom. She had jobs that someone would have to try to get fired from. She went to school to become a nurse. She would say she was being practical or smart but she was playing it safe. I don’t think she took a chance on anything in her life,” Dennis said. “I was going to break up with her.”

“Noooooo…” Aaron breathed, drunkenly.

“I loved her but I couldn’t see myself spending the rest of my life with her.”

“Is that why you were so uneasy when your name was printed in her obituary?”

“I think that would make anyone uneasy,” Dennis laughed. “But I felt guilty because I had been thinking about breaking up with her and then her dying but when I really think about it, I wanted to break up with her because she was kind of a mean person. And I really came to realize that during Stanley’s birthday party last year.”

“I remember that,” Aaron said and poured them both more to drink.




"Thanks for coming with me to pick out a shirt," Myrna said as she and Dennis walked into the store. "I need someone to tell me what looks hot and what is not."

"No problem. We need to spend more time together anyway," Dennis said.

"I like spending time with you. I like you much better than Alison's previous boyfriends," Myrna said. She began rifling through some shirts on a rack, looking at them, pulling them out and holding them up. "Definitely trying these two on," she said, laying a light blue shirt and a black shirt on her arm. "What did you get Stanley?"

"I just got him a gift card," Dennis shrugged. "I don't really know him very well except for a few things. And he likes to read so I got him a gift card to a bookstore."

"That's more than I got him," Myrna said as she grabbed a couple other shirts off the rack and headed to a dressing room. She began removing the shirt she had on and continued talking. "I got him a nice card that includes an IOU. I don't even know why we are throwing him a birthday party. We've never had one for him before." She pulled a red shirt over her that had slightly puffy sleeves and waist.

"I think it's because it's his thirtieth and this is all Alison. We're only doing it because of Alison," Dennis said and watched Myrna walk out of the dressing room. He eyed the shirt but mainly focused on the cleavage the shirt revealed.

"You like it?" she asked.

"It does something for me," he replied.

She looked down at her chest and smiled. "I like it too," and she went back into the dressing room. "Have you ever spent any time with Stanley without Alison?"

"I don't think so," Dennis said. "Stanley is more Alison's friend. Everyone else is just kind of there. I like Stanley but if it wasn't for Alison I don't think I'd choose him as a friend."

Myrna came back out of the dressing room in a simple green shirt. "What about this one?"

Dennis looked the shirt up and down. "Is there something about green shirts that make boobs bigger?"

"So I take it you like it?" she chuckled.

"Yes but I'm serious. It's a scientific fact that green shirts make girls hotter," Dennis said.

"Okay," Myrna laughed as she rolled her eyes. She went back into the dressing room.

"I honestly don't plan on staying very long. Can you take Alison home when the party is over?"

"Probably. If not I can probably get Aaron to," Myrna came out of the dressing room in the black shirt. "This one?"

"It's nice. Hey, after this, do you have any lunch plans?"

"Lunch?" Myrna said from the dressing room. "It's almost three."

"It doesn't have to be a big lunch. Just go somewhere and have something small. I missed lunch so I am hungry."

"Sure we can grab something," Myrna came out of the dressing room in the blue shirt. "What do you want? What sounds good?"

Dennis stared at Myrna in the blue shirt. He didn't hear what she had asked. The shirt was tight on her and highlighted her flat stomach and big breasts. The shirt also went well with her blue eyes and reddish hair.

"Dennis! What sounds good?" Myrna asked again.

"What?" he snapped out of it. "Oh! Well, I'm thinking something Mexican."

"I'll take that as a ringing endorsement for this shirt," Myrna smiled, looked down at her chest and placed her hands over her breasts.

"Yeah. It was good."

"Good? You forgot how to listen and talk when you saw me walk out," she laughed. "I think I know what shirt I'm wearing tonight. If you can handle it."

Myrna bought her shirts and she and Dennis left the store. "Is fast food all right or do you want to go to a restaurant?"

"Fast food is fine."

Dennis and Myrna sat in the fast food restaurant and ate their food and talked more about the party. "And I find it weird that Alison is holding the party and her favorite bar. Not Stanley's, hers."

"Well, that's just like Alison. The party is for someone else but she has to be front and center during it."

"I know," Dennis laughed. "I love her but sometimes she makes it hard to."

"You love her?"

Dennis seemed taken aback. "Yeah. I thought I mentioned that."

"Not from you. Alison's mentioned that you've both said 'I love you' but I didn't know you really did. It's only been a year."

"That's ample time to fall in love," Dennis said. "I actually fell in love a while ago but didn't want to say anything until I knew she felt at least a little bit of the same thing."

"I have the feeling this party is going to be a disaster," Myrna said.

"Aren't all birthdays?" Dennis asked jokingly.

"Yeah but this will be a disaster party that no one will admit was a disaster and when someone brings it up things will get awkward," she explained.

"We'll just have to make sure it's not a disaster," Dennis said.

After their meal, Dennis dropped Myrna off at her apartment. "I'll see you tonight at the bar around eight," she said, getting out of the car. She leaned back into the car. "Thanks for looking at clothes with me."

"You're very welcome. Thanks for eating with me."

"You're welcome as well," Myrna chuckled. She then leaned closer and kissed Dennis on the lips. Dennis knew he should've pulled away but he touched her cheek and kissed her back. When they parted, Myrna spoke "I knew this party would be a disaster..."




The party had been going on for a couple of hours and Alison was already pretty drunk. Dennis and Myrna stayed away from each but kept making passing glances.

"It's present time," Alison sat three bags on the table in front of Stanley. "Open mine last," Alison pulled one of the bags away and pushed the other two closer.

Stanley opened one of the bags and pulled out a couple of movies. "Awesome. I love these movies. I don't know why I don't already own them."

"Well you do now," Wendy said. "And now you need to invite us over so we can all watch them."

"Those movies are good. They are so stupid but it's like the producers knew that so they told the actors to treat it that way," Dennis said.

"I didn't know you liked those movies," Alison said. "You usually hate movies like this."

"I like stupid movies. What I don't like are stupid movies that think they are doing something new when it's really just the same crap," Dennis said.

Stanley began opening the second bag. "This is from Dennis and me," Myrna began. "I dropped his gift in my bag so it didn't get lost."

"Thanks," Dennis said.

"No problem," she smiled.

Stanley pulled out a couple of gift cards, one from a bookstore and the other for a grocery store. "Books and food? I love books and food!" he exclaimed. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Dennis and Myrna answered in unison.

"Open mine now," Alison bounced.

Stanley opened the bag and pulled out a wrapped gift. He tore open the wrapping and saw that it was a toy. An action figure. "What the...?" The figure was from a Japanese cartoon he'd never heard of and was a child-like figure wearing a kimono robe and an odd orange hat. One of the accessories that came with it was a pacifier.

"I saw that and immediately thought of you," Alison said.

"Oh, gee. Thanks," Stanley said sarcastically. "So you saw this baby-like character with a pacifier and thought of me?"

Myrna had walked around the table to Dennis. She leaned down to his ear "Told you it would be a disaster."

Six

Myrna walked up to Dennis’ front door and knocked. After several days of wanting to call him and talk to him, she finally worked up the nerve to call and ask him to lunch. It was a little after ten in the morning but Myrna was ready to see Dennis and talk to him. Dennis lived in a small rental house he and Alison had lived in for the last four months of their relationship. The landlord was an old guy who was, as Dennis described him, a nosy cheapskate. When Dennis didn’t answer she knocked louder and when he didn’t answer that she began repeatedly ringing the doorbell which finally got him to answer.

“Myrna! What the hell are you doing here?” he asked, drowsily with one eye open.

“We’re having lunch together,” she replied.

Dennis stared at Myrna then glanced at a clock near the door on the wall. “Yeah. At lunch.”

“I’m here early. I wanted to talk. Are you hungover?”

“A little. It was the last night Aaron’s restaurant was open so Aaron and I hung out for several hours.”

“I completely forgot about that,” Myrna gasped.

“So did everyone else it seemed.”

“No one showed up?”

Dennis faintly shook his head. “Come on in,” he opened the door wider and stepped aside. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Alison,” Myrna said, seating herself on the arm of his couch. “It’s been almost a month since she died and the funeral and I’ve been noticing some changes in our group dynamic.”

“Like the fact there hasn’t really been a dynamic since the funeral?” Dennis asked.

“Yes, so you’ve noticed that too?”

“Yes but it was bound to happen. Alison was the glue that held our fragile little group together. Without her it was bound to fall apart. Why would her friends continue to hang out with me? I was just dating her. If we had broken up I would’ve been out of the picture anyway.”

“I like hanging out with you. I would’ve tried to stay your friend,” Myrna said.

“Would you?” Dennis was skeptical. “I’ve heard about Eric.”

Myrna blushed and lowered her head. “With Eric it was different.”

“No. It wasn’t,” Dennis walked over to Myrna and grabbed her chin, he pulled her head up and they looked at each other. “You have a habit of falling for all of Alison’s boyfriends. I know you slept with Nathan. You slept with Eric and that one guy whose name none of us remembers…”

“His name was Joel.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Dennis smiled at her. “The problem with doing that is that Alison wouldn’t let you. She’d make you choose between her friendship and the guy you liked and you always chose her friendship. This time, you don’t have to.”

Myrna looked into Dennis’ eyes. “What are you talking about?”

Dennis leaned down and kissed Myrna. Her eyes closed and she slowly and softly put her hand on his shoulder. He continued to hold her chin and pulled her onto her feet and then embraced her and they continued kissing.