Saturday, April 25, 2015

1173: I Love Scheduling My Day Around a Golf Tournament

I didn't watch the Bruce Jenner/Diane Sawyer special last night. I don't really need a TV special (or upcoming documentary miniseries) to be told what I already know. I do want to commend Bruce on her bravery for coming out and becoming a role model for a whole group of people who need a role model like her.

I was talking to my mom about Bruce a few weeks ago, I think it was after the Diane Sawyer interview was announced, and she just couldn't believe it. Bruce Jenner had always been like a hero to her. In her college dorm and even after she had me, she had pictures and posters of Bruce Jenner hanging up. She has a Bruce Jenner action figure still in its original package. While she didn't seem to grasp the understanding of why Bruce took so long to come out, she did say that Bruce deserves to be happy. And that's true. Everyone deserves to be happy.

I'm glad that Bruce feels safe coming out and I hope this encourages transphobic people from my mom's generation and younger to be more accepting of the trans community. So many are cast aside or made to feel like less than who they are. It's reported that a trans person is murdered once every three days. And 41% of trans people have attempted suicide which is nine times the average rate. Those numbers are unacceptable--any unjustifiable death is unacceptable but these statistics are preventable starting with parents. Parents shouldn't be their child's first bully and it seems all too often, that is what happens.

I remember when I was in school and the go-to insult was calling someone gay. I did it, my friends did it, everyone did it. Then there came a point where I just stopped. Like a switch in my brain, there came a day when I realized that using 'gay' derogatorily, was mean. I still hear kids say it. In one of my classes, a student constantly make jokes about one of his friends being gay like being gay is the worst thing you could be. I'm sitting across the room going "Seriously? You're an 18-year-old high school senior in the year 2015 and that's your go-to insult?" It's interesting to see all the progress we've made but still be able to see how much we have left to do.

Here's hoping we've progressed even a little bit further.

I know that there is no halftime in golf but the joke seems clunky. How many people glancing at this strip would raise an eyebrow to Gladys' comment about halftime and wonder what the joke is?

Also, aren't most golf tournaments during the day starting at one? That would put halftime in the two, two-thirty area and unless Gladys is using dinner in the "largest meal of the day" sense, two, two-thirty ain't dinner.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

1172: They Should Quit While They're Ahead

Brutus doesn't even know how many games his son has played? I realize that Brutus is lazy and would rather sit on his duff and watch sports on TV but I'm lazy too and I would much rather watch my son play a sport that I don't care about.

What's In a (Street) Name?


When Lawrence was originally platted, north-south streets were named for the states in the union starting with the order they were admitted in the east. East-west streets were named after Revolutionary War heroes. The state street names begin with Delaware Street about two blocks west of Haskell Avenue. Interestingly, Oregon Street was placed between Delaware and Haskell sometime before 1960, New York (the 11th State) is where Georgia should be and Georgia has never been added to the city. Connecticut and Massachusetts Streets should be right next to each but are instead separated by Rhode Island (13th State) and New Hampshire (9th State) Streets. There is also no North or South Carolina (a Carolina Street does exist near Lawrence High School however, as does Virginia Street) exists.

After passing Massachusetts Streets, the streets follow the order pretty regularly: Vermont, Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio, Louisiana, Indiana, Mississippi, Illinois, Alabama, Maine, Missouri, Arkansas, Michigan and Florida. Next should be Texas Street but instead it's Minnesota followed by Colorado and Wisconsin and then Iowa Street (the main north-south thoroughfare through Lawrence) ends the state street naming. Lawrence doesn't have streets named after Alaska, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wyoming. And it's been pointed out that if the correct naming had been retained, Kansas Street would be roughly where Iowa Street is, thus making the name a bit more fitting. Instead, Kansas Street is located in the Park Hills Neighborhood off of Louisiana Street.

The east-west streets are now numbered streets after being renamed in 1913. Ironically the numbered streets begin with 2nd Street and not 1st Street. Originally, they were named for Revolutionary War heroes.

Mason Street (should be 1st Street) was probably named for George Mason (1725-1792), one of the Fathers of the Bill of Rights.
An old street sign at 3rd & Indiana in the Pinckney
neighborhood. These old signs are quickly being
replaced with newer ones.

Jay Steet (2nd Street) was probably named for John Jay (1745-1829), influential Founding Father and first Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.

Dane Street (3rd Street) was probably named for Nathan Dane (1752-1835) a Continental Congressman who authorized the Philadelphia Convention to amend the Article of Confederation which later became the United States Constitution.

Reed (4th Street) was probably named for Joseph Reed (1741-1785) who served as a Colonel in the Revolutionary War and later became Secretary of State in New Jersey.

Penn (5th Street) was probably named for John Penn (1741-1788) who signed both the Declaration of Independence and the Articles of Confederation.

5th & Ohio, also in the Pinckney neighborhood.
Pinckney (6th Street, the neighborhood and school) was probably named for Charles Pinckney (1757-1824) who was a governor, Senator and signer of the U.S. Constitution.

Winthrop (7th Street) may have been named after the influential Winthrop family whose members founded the Massachusetts Bay Colony, served as governor of Connecticut and noted Harvard professor.

Henry (8th Street) was probably named after Patrick Henry (1736-1799) a signer of the U.S. Constitution and noted for saying "Give me liberty or give me death."

Warren (9th Street) was probably named for Joseph Warren (1741-1775), a doctor who participated in the Battles of Lexington and Concord and Bunker Hill.

Berkeley (10th Street) may have been named for William Berkeley, a governor from Virginia in the 1600s. I couldn't find any noted Revolutionary War era people named Berkeley.

Quincy (11th Street) was probably named for Josiah Quincy, a Revolutionary War soldier who served alongside George Washington.

Hancock (12th Street) was probably named for John Hancock (1737-1793), signer of the Declaration of Independence.

Lee (13th Street) was probably named for Henry Lee III (1756-1818), who would become a Major General and the father to Confederate General Robert E. Lee.
The street signs in Old West and East Lawrence
note the current name and the historic name.

Adams (14th Street) was probably named for Samuel Adams (1722-1803) a Founding Father who would serve as governor of Massachusetts.

Morris (15th Street) was probably named for Robert Morris (1734-1806), a signer of the Declaration, Articles of Confederation and the Constitution and was considered, after George Washington, the most powerful man in America.

Euclid (16th Street) may have been named for Euclid, Ohio, one of the first cities established outside the original Thirteen Colonies. Euclid was founded in 1796 by a lieutenant in the Revolutionary War, David Dille.

Ontario & Sherman (17th Street) Ontario was named for Fort Ontario in Oswego, New York which was one of several forts built by British to protect the east end of Lake Ontario from the French. Sherman was probably named for Roger Sherman (1721-1793), an early lawyer and politician of our country. He was the only person to sign the Continental Association, the Declaration of Independence, Articles of Confederation and the U.S. Constitution.

Sherman ran from present-day Naismith Drive to Louisiana; Ontario ran from Louisiana to Connecticut.

Rogers & Bews (18th Street) Rogers may have been named for George Rogers Clark (1752-1818), one of the most decorated military officers in the Revolutionary War. I was unable to locate information on the name Bews.

Rogers ran from present-day Naismith Drive to Louisiana; Bews ran from Tennessee to Vermont.

Banks & Leis (19th Street), it's here where the names seem to change from American Revolution honors to Civil War ones. Banks may have been named for Union General Nathaniel Banks (1816-1894) since Banks/19th would've been added after the Civil War. I was unable to verify who Leis might be named for but there was a Civil War solider named John Leis that I found several mentions of.

Senator (20th Street) Clearly I am not going to be able to verify why this street was named Senator. The name could have been chosen to honor Senator James Lane (1814-1866), who moved to Kansas in 1855 and became a staunch abolitionist and Union general, or Senator Stephen Douglas (1816-1861), namesake for the county and prominent politician during the Bleeding Kansas days.

Merchants (21st Street) A common street name, I am unable to determine if this street was named for past businesses that may have been located along this street or to honor someone with the surname Merchants.
22nd & Rhode Island in the Barker
neighborhood.

Carmean & Hosford (22nd Street) I found only minor instances of the names Carmean and Hosford in the Civil War: David Carmean and John Hosford., who you can more about here.

Bishop (23rd Street) I could not find a namesake for what would become the major east-west thoroughfare through Lawrence but found a guy named Richard M. Bishop (1812-1893) who we can all imagine was the namesake. There is a chance that it was named for Reverend William Bishop who presided over the Presbyterian Church from 1858 to 1860.

Not mentioned in this post but Mechanic
Street was probably named for the industrial
businesses centered around it and railroad.
In North Lawrence, east-west streets are your standard city street names, named after trees: Elm, Locust, Walnut, Oak, Hickory, Ash and Maple. There are few street names in honor of people such as Lincoln (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-1865), Lyon (Gen. Nathaniel Lyon, 1818-1861, the first Union general killed in the Civil War), Perry (possibly named for John D. Perry, 1815-1895, president of the Kansas Pacific Railroad that was built through North Lawrence), Lake, may have been named for the lake at Bismarck Grove that was stocked with swans every year for the Bismarck Grove Fair, Funston (Edward Funston, 1836-1911, represented Lawrence in the U.S. Congress from 1884 to 1894 and was the father of Medal of Honor recipient Frederick Funston) and Maiden, I was unable to find an origin for this name which probably differs from the Maiden Lane in New York City which was named for the women who lined the street cleaning their laundry in the now-long-gone creek. Another street, Grant Street, was more than likely named for Grant Township, the township North Lawrence sits in which, in turn, was named for Ulysses S. Grant after being annexed to Douglas County in 1870 from southern Sarcoxie Township in Jefferson County.

The north-south streets are now numbered with North 1st, North 2nd, North 3rd to North 9th Streets but before they were numbered they were given state street names that corresponded with  their southern alignment. North 4th was New York Street, North 5th was Pennsylvania, etc. They were renamed with the southern numbered streets in 1913.

Disclaimer: These are based on my own research and may be inaccurate. I have researched each name and consider this list as correct as possible. If you feel that I have erred somewhere, please let me know via the contact form.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

1171: In the Not-To-Distance Future...We Could All Be Living In a PixarFilm

Yesterday I went on a field trip with the students to the local grocery store and we talked a lot about the different kinds of jobs that make up the store and make up all the food that is in the store. We talked about the person who grows the food and the person who distributes it which made me think about a Mystery Science Theater 3000 short about truck farming from Encylcopedia Brittanica Films' The Truck Farmer.


Worship the Truck Farmer At the Church of Your Choice!!

I am all for conserving the planet because while I am a huge believer in the "Earth has always and will always be here" mentality, I don't believe that it includes humans. Earth was fine before humans and it will be fine after humans.

The main reason I don't want humans to go to other planets and attempt to colonize them is strictly because of Earth conservation. If we have Mars or the Moon or another place as a "backup Earth" then why save this planet? People who have the ability to will be able to leave while the others remain. I don't want our planet to wind up in some kind of Wall-E scenario because that movie was too long and drawn out and would've worked better as an animated short and I don't want that for our home.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

1170: Brutus Watches Dr. Phil But Gladys Doesn't?

Really? That's the test? Rank your spouse with 1 through 10? I can suggest that so can I have my own nationally syndicated television show?

Monday, April 20, 2015

1169: What Do I Have Against Them? Well, Since I've Only Had One...

What party? I hope it's one of those parties like the Lockhorns throw with all their passive-aggressiveness. But, to be fair, Mother Gargle is the worst.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

1168: 9:02



We're learning about chemistry in my science class and we were going over what different elements can be used for. We got to nitrogen and said that it's used in fertilizer and can be an explosive if mixed with the right stuff and the teacher mentioned that ammonium nitrate was used in the Oklahoma City bombing. All the kids in class looked at him and several said "Oklahoma City was bombed?" He turned to me and gave me a look signifying that we were old. "Yeah, it was what? 1995? Didn't 100 people die in it?" I replied, "Closer to 150, I think. A lot were children."

The point is, this was a class for high school sophomores. These kids were born in 1999 or 2000 so their world doesn't contain the Oklahoma City bombing and it barely contains 9/11. I was only 12 when it happened (my birthday was one week before) but it really made more of an impact on my life. Much more than 9/11 ever had on me. The main reason being, 9/11 was a strictly big city attack. An attack like 9/11 would only happen in a big city--a major big city, while something like the Oklahoma City bombing can be anywhere. Timothy McVeigh bought all of the stuff he used in the bombing in Kansas. What if he had chosen the Frank Carlson Federal Building in Topeka instead of the Alfred Murrah Federal Building?

When on a trip to Houston in 2001, my mom and I stopped in Oklahoma City specifically to see the memorial among a couple other things but that's all a long story. It was so powerful walking into it and seeing the chairs representing the 168 men, women and children who died. Visiting that memorial has always stuck with me. I was 18 at the time, about to become a father, and about a month later, 9/11 would happen.

"Murrah Building - Aerial" by US Army Corps of Engineers - Hronek, Sheri (August 2001).
Why would you have to request the box be marked "Fragile?" The person shipping the thing should automatically write "Fragile" on the box of highly fragile dishes or package them better so they don't knock together.

Instead of wondering why the deliveryman would do that, it's time to call the company who delivered it and ask them to pay to replace the dishes and why they are delivering on a Sunday.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

1167: Hey, I Spelled Dale Earnhardt's Name Right

I don't get the joke. That's exactly was NASCAR is and don't let anybody tell you anything different.

Back when I worked in a call center, I shared a cubicle with a guy who had a lot of Dale Earnhardt, Jr. crap in it. Supposedly he worked for Earnhardt's crew whenever he was racing at Kansas Speedway--which was maybe only once a year, if that. Rumor had it that he made more money on that one visit from Earnhardt than he made all year at the call center he worked. I believed that about as much as I believe Bigfoot is my next door neighbor.

I don't know what I hated more, having to share a cubicle or having to share that cubicle.

I Was Hitler

“Six months. Six months I waited for this. Of all the people who came before. Of all the people I could’ve been…why him?” I said out loud, complaining to no one. I picked up the paper and
read over the names of my former lives again.


Joshua Wilson Donald, July 26, 2023 – alive
Marcus Anthony Fordham, January 19, 1987 – July 25, 2023
Robert Angelo D’Agostino, May 1, 1945 – January 18, 1987
Adolf Hitler, April 20, 1889 – April 30, 1945
Nikolai Kremlov, March 18, 1783 – April 19, 1889
Christopher Aiokiev, August 17, 1709 – March 17, 1783

The name just stood out to me, mockingly. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and dialed my sister Emily. “Hey, Emily, you know the appeals process for your past lives?” Emily had worked at the Department of Health and Human Services-Former Lives Division since her sophomore year of college and knew that area like the back of her hand. “Has anyone ever successfully appealed to not have their past lives publically listed?”

“Not in the fifteen years I’ve been with the DHHS and I don’t think there has been a successful appeal since this whole former lives thing started nearly 40 years ago.”

“Why do they have to make the lives public?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I don’t want mine,” Emily said.

“Can you come over after work? Maybe you can help me put this into perspective.”

When Emily arrived, I let her in and she immediately grabbed the paper with my former lives on it and began reading. “Holy shit. Hitler? I’ve never known anyone with someone famous in their past lives. I mean, I know it’s Hitler but still,” Emily said, ecstatic about being related, even generations apart, to someone well-known.

“It’s not that one I’m worried about. I think we’ve all decided how we feel about Hitler but, here,” I handed Emily some papers that had been printed off of a website.

“Nikolai Kremlov?” she read. “What the hell? Raped and killed about 30 young children in Petropavlovsk, Russia between 1825 and 1847. The bones of the children were found after he died in 1889 buried under his house in shallow graves. At least it’s not as bad as Hitler.”

“Two murderers in a row. Do you know who else has two murderers in a row?”

Emily shook her head and shrugged.

“No one. I did a search. A lot of people have one killer in their former lives but none of them have more than one. And my life only goes back 345 years. I saw lives that went back 3,000 years none of them had two killers,” I shouted. I sat down in a chair and looked at the floor.

“I’m sorry, Josh. I don’t know what to tell you,” she came over to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. “You know you’re nothing like Hitler or Nikolai Kremlov, right?”

“I guess but still. It’s a little disarming,” I looked up at Emily and grinned a little.

“Are you hungry? Do you want to grab dinner?” she asked me.

“Yeah, I could go for some food.”

I grabbed my keys off the table and she sat the former life and Nikolai Kremlov papers on the table. As we walked out the door, she chuckled. “If you ever get really bossy, people can tell you that you are ‘literally Hitler.’”

“Thanks, that makes me feel so much better,” I rolled my eyes.

“I knew it would.” [ ]




Story inspired by this writing prompt.

Friday, April 17, 2015

1166: Another Day Older and Deeper In Debt

When comic strip characters talk about work, I often wonder what jobs the cartoonists had or have. Has Chip ever even had a real job?* He started apprenticing with his father at a young age so I don't know where he may have worked. I'd be interested in finding out. I should've asked him that during his Twitter Q&A last year.




*For the record, I do consider cartooning a real job. It's just a joke. I can't even draw so I'm probably just jealous.